The house you build, is entirely based on the frame you build for it.

If you haven't done so, I would strongly suggest reading the Bluepillprofessors Guide to Dread, as well as his YouTube series on the subject.

This isn't a hard read, ensure you have 10 uninterrupted minutes to mull on this. It's geared towards you. You're really good at thinking up excuses, or using the feelings of others to stop you from acting. You refuse to do things if they cause undue harm to others. When you hear the word dread, you also think being the oppressive overload who coerces his wife/LTR into sexing him out of fear. You don't like manipulation, you don't play games.

If any of this is hitting a chord, this is for you.

Definition

Dread, as I define it, is the deliberate set of steps, to separate you from a low value relationship, and quickly into high value (or multiple high value ones) one, allowing a reasonable time for the current relationship to get it's shit together and win you back.

That's it. Forget what you think about dread, this is dread.

Women call it branch swinging, the difference is, you're a man. You're a romantic, the idea of building yourself up appeals to you, the idea of your partner doing the same is too. the reason it isn't branch swinging is, you're completely open to your woman getting her shit together, a branch swinger is checked out. But you do have to check out. It's counter intuitive, it's the mindset you have that makes it work. The worst thing you can do is treat her pussy as the goal, I call it 'sprinkling a little alpha on it', and it's the mother of all covert contracts. If you think becoming a masculine man is all about jumping through hoops to win her affection, this is not for you.

Verb

Frame is discussed as a noun. I'm adding my spin on the material that's out there, and using it as a verb. Framing is a seriously powerful part of frame. Everything in life is built on narratives. Ever notice on those entrepreneur shows, American Idol spin-offs, and even the Olympics have a story involved with the winners? You want to care about Joe blow inventing the new lawn mower? Probably not, but the guy who was fired, had to feed his kids, so invented a new lawn mower because of the evil bankers crushing his job in 08? Yeah, that's the frame, and you were sucked in. The difference here is, you can apply it to yourself. You have to be careful, because this can quickly become a hamster if you're a chode about it.

The difference is when you create the narrative. Framing is done prior to action, giving an anchor to make decisions around. Think a house, framing your house decides what will be built. Hamster is done after the fact, to justify whatever action was the right one. Notice in that context how it syncs with planning and leadership? You don't put the kids in the car and then think about where you're going to take them. You have a plan, then put them in the car. Same thing here, with for your frame. You don't build a house, starting with the drywall.

Can you tell stories?

The day you decide to take the pill, is the day your relationship ended. She either married/LTR the beta male, wanting the Beta Bux, or she grabbed the alpha, and you let her chip away at the edges, becoming that supplicated man. This is the state of your relationship. You fucked it up, and you own that. It is now over. That woman is the sparring partner you need to ensure you don't make the same mistake again. She exists to test your frame, shit test you every-time you think you have a set of balls on you, and reject your sexual advances enough to kill your ego.

It's a thankless job.

She shit all over you because the dishes weren't done? Externally, STFU. Internally?

Thanks babe, you're right, I am not a slob, these things are done because they need to be done. Her one job is to call me out on all my bullshit, she's doing her job, mine is to keep my place up to my standard.

Looked at you like she was disgusted when you suggest the idea of fucking? Externally, get up, go to the gym. You did have a bag packed already, right? Internally?

Good thing she tested you, you always hit PR's when you're sexually frustrated. Eventually, after a hundred rejections or so, it won't even phase me anymore. Thanks babe, I'm not a sexual crybaby, and I am building my body. I like giving you first crack at it, I also like not being invested with it, either way.

Decided to berate you in front of friends and family? That's not on. Take a slow look around the room, ask everyone to excuse you for a minute, and take the spouse somewhere quiet, ask everyone to leave for a minute, isolate the two of you. Praise in public, punish in private, it's a good saying.

I signed on for your bullshit, they did not. Next time, keep your fucking mouth shut.

And yeah, your self respect is big for you, and you're going to use as few words as possible to express that. Because you're a man, you're not perfect, you're a man. Your sparring partner gave you practice on holding frame, Externally, you're above this, but you don't approve of it. If she escalates past this point, you thank your friends for a wonderful evening, and drive home with a smile, she can catch a cab, or come with if she keeps her mouth shit. If she opens her mouth, you will open the door, and call her a cab. Internally?

Thanks babe. I can't think of a better way to practice holding frame than to have a direct challenge in front of my social circle. Bang on. I'm a fun guy to be around, and I am able to move past awkward social situations with grace.

And everything you do there reflects this. Your action is deliberate, your choices have a clear right and wrong. If it goes against your narrative, don't do it.

Framing is frame

If you aren't getting the thrust of my concept here, it's this. A narrative, that describes the situation you are in, with you as the central character. Everything can be explained as a positive, or a negative. You're framing them as a positive for you. When you have this narrative in your head, it guides actions. You now have a standard that you base decisions on.

  • Does it match the narrative?
  • Do it.
  • Does it not jive?
  • Don't.

You can't just make it up on the spot, because it involves others, and you cannot control their actions, so you integrate it. What they do has a positive effect, even if it's a cautionary tale.

There's more to this than a single post could do justice, and I encourage you to start looking into narrative based decision making. You're already doing it. Your mindful action plan, running game, how you carry yourself and signal your value to the world. All creating a narrative decision framework. The only difference is most ones you learn are static, something previously developed, and you plug in the details. You begin to create your own, and you begin to have that power in your life. People do not like to think given a good narrative, they will gladly accept it as their own. You can, to a degree, make your own reality. Take a look around on some of the more prolific posters around you. I'll bet if you follow one for any length of time, you'll begin to develop a story to them whether you do it intentionally or not.

What's your story?

Interested?

If you're into more on the subject, I highly suggest looking into the 'moist robot' theory from Scott Adams. His book on failing at everything is pretty good at it, among other things. Vinkatesh Rao is the authority on frame and narratives. His material switches between intellectually heavy, and casual conversation, so it will take a second read, but he breaks it down in a clinical way. Tempo and Be Slightly Evil are the way to go. Red Pill is usually hard on for the 48 laws of power, and Machiavelli's Prince, I would consider them high school math, and Rao's work to be calculus.