I disowned my daughter. And after receiving ~300 man-hours of insightful comments I deleted the original post, because I am a big gaping vagina.

bogeyd6 · 2016-07-21T17:07:48+00:00

The original link to the main article got lost in the comments. You can find it here:

https://www.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/4tjjjm/ive_disowned_my_daughter/

Alpha_Rising · 2016-07-20T21:27:36+00:00

Different set of circumstances, but my parents disowned me--completely cut off all contact with me and wrote me out of their will--when I left their church. They treat me as if I, my wife, and my son do not exist. Having been on the receiving end of being disowned by parents, I do not recommend that any parent disown his/her child unless you want to be an asshole-type parent who inflicts emotional abuse on his child.

druganswer · 2016-07-20T21:41:52+00:00

Okay, so I didn't read the original thread until now because I didn't give a shit about some guys daughter drama (and still don't, btw).

But. Reposting something that has detailed personal information (say, this kind of ultra specific drama) is one step away from doxing. "We did 300 man hours of reddit comments!" Boo fucking hoo. Cry me a river. You should have known every minute you put into responding to that thread was time flushed down the drain. If you want to feel like your time is valuable go do something more productive than posting on reddit.

Backing up people's posts is fucking creepy. And if the whole team is behind this then you are all caring too much. This subreddit in-drama/insisting on reposting some story is up there with the time you all got baited into the whole purple pill debate thing. This guy could be the biggest douche ever and I would still think his personal life is more important than having his "story" enshrined on MRP. And before anyone tells me he only deleted it because of his fragile ego, I don't care.

jigglydee · 2016-07-21T00:36:52+00:00

I agree with some of the commenters here man, I think you got your panties in a twist u/ex_addict_bro. The dude made a post, then deleted it. You provided a lot of value to the original post by making several attempts at trying to help him, he didn't understand, he deletes his post, you get mad, then you post this rant.
Dude, of course we can learn from his post. But if he's deleted it, who are you to rehash it from the dead? If you really wanted to provide value, re-write the content into a post that provides some teachings or 'what not to do'. You're not his mum. You can only coach. It's up-to the original poster to heed your advice or forget everything that happened.

ex_addict_bro · 2016-07-20T19:31:40+00:00

What is your goal here? To recreate that discussion? You can't. It's dead. If you want to preserve things use archive.is etc.

So a concern for the mods: does this violate reddit ToS? The admins may well view it as harassment. It certainly seems to come from a place of harassment (although I grok that the intent is well meaning).

ex_addict_bro, I understand you are annoyed, but people deleting shit is part of how reddit works. Hell, mods delete shit that I enjoy. Boo hoo. What you've done here seems pretty immature. You're grasping for closure or maybe you're thirsty for some sort of validation moment where trudatness confesses how wrong he is and how right you are. Or something.

This post is all about you, not trudatness.

redearththeory · 2016-07-20T21:22:26+00:00

Personally I think a man can delete anything he created for any reason he chooses.

OP, you are dramatically overstating your contribution to that thread with this tantrum that it disappeared.

Persaeus · 2016-07-20T18:12:13+00:00

Nice flair

Innerouterself · 2016-07-20T18:40:28+00:00

Yeah, I spent some time thinking over what he said and was going to try and write a response.

I will do it anyway for shits. There is a responsibility as a part to have unconditional love for their kid. Even if they kid screws the fuck up and is a little shit. Having empathy and kindness towards your kid is not a bad thing.

Letting them grow up to be a cunt because you have no balls to discipline and guide is also a bad thing...

The issues I had with his post was just not understanding her kids side. The whole "respect my new wife" can be easily seen as "I care about her more than you, my own child". Saying "you should act respectful towards adults" is not a bad thing to instill in your kid. But the "in order to get this you must act in the way I demand" is just not a real healthy way to view your relationship with your child.

Not letting your kid wreck your frame, holding strong values and guidance, pushing your kid to be a better person, coming down hard on them when they act like fuck ups... all good things.

I think the poster just didn't quite understand what he was saying about his kid. Sure, she is 18. But he is the father and is a fuck up towards her.

I have had friends who have had to "disown" their kid. Usually for epic drug related shit. The whole "You can't come over here because you steal everything, beat up your mom, trash the place, and then get us in trouble with the cops and you are 21- leave". Different than having an emotional, whiny, appears to be messed up 18 year old who is really acting somewhat "normal" for dumb 18 year old kids.

Yeah she is selfish, yeah she has been brainwashed by her mom... but I get the sense the dude just fucking ignored his kid for a few years and then expected to be respected because "he is the man"

It is difficult to have a troubled kid. Especially when you are trying to hold them to a certain standard. But sometimes you have to extend the leash and let them screw it up in order to learn. The dude did not do his job in preparing his daughter for life. And now he is reaping the benefits of that failure. AND even if you do everything right as a parent, sometimes your kid just decides to be a screw up. It is tough.

Disowning an 18 year old kid because they act like a brat is bullshit.

SnickeringBear · 2016-07-20T23:59:20+00:00

Can't speak to what your kid will do, but can tell you that both my daughters were in their mid 20's before they fully understood the level of manipulation their mother constantly uses on everyone around her. My circumstances were a lot different, but in the end, I have a very good relationship with all 4 of my children. Give your daughter a few years, keep the door open, be there to help when she needs it. In the end, this will do what no amount of talk can.

At 18, you can cut off all child support, however, a judge may make you liable for college costs. This was never even a question for me, I helped all of my children get into and through college to the extent they wanted. There was no court order involved. Suggest considering carefully what you can do to help your kids get into college before the fact. Have an offer ready to put on the table that has restrictions such as maintain a reasonable GPA, work part time to help, etc. Don't try to force visits, she is old enough to start living on her own now and it is up to you to let her learn how.

BluepillProfessor · 2016-07-21T04:08:50+00:00

I agree it is a breach of the bro code to delete your posts like that.

I don't agree with the majority- including the mods- in giving the guy shit because he disowned a daughter who a parent has turned against him. I don't think there is an understanding of parental alienation in that thread. The advice he got- agree and amplify your daughter who hates you and is becoming an adult- is not necessarily the right answer. It may be, but I am not convinced. He tried a desperate move and people treated it like a desperate move a man might make with a wife. We know how to handle that situation. You can DNGAF and A and A a wife. A daughter? I don't know. Maybe. But maybe not.

Sometimes you have to let it go. You know, if it returns to you it is yours and if it doesn't ~~then you hunt it down and kill it~~ then it never was.

rattamahatta · 2016-07-21T12:48:24+00:00

I liked the part where your help and advice comes with strings attached (don't delete your post).

1000100001 · 2016-08-10T05:04:16+00:00

He was demanding a relationship from his daughter, that never existed . He treats his daughter like an ex-lover and not a teen. The girl needs stability, she could not risk him pulling out on her. Technically, she was talking to a stranger . "10 years" dude, that is most of her life. You have to water the seeds, or they will never grow.

ex_addict_bro · 2016-07-20T15:24:30+00:00

https://www.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/4tjjjm/ive_disowned_my_daughter/ - here is the link to original comments. Mods, please make this comment sticky and block comments for my article. Or for the deleted one, IDK what's best. And in case anybody tries something stupid, I got all the comments from the current (deleted) version backed up as well. This is valuable knowledge and it is going to be left here because I SAY SO. I'm doing it because of this gem of mine, this is my opus magnum, when I wrote that I felt like u/whinemoreplease was saying directly to me what should I write.

SORRY KID, BUT IT'S GROW UP TIME.

[deleted] · 2016-07-20T20:16:05+00:00

Remember in The Sandlot when the sandlot kids are arguing with their rivals. Throwing insults back and forth. Then Ham Porter shouts out "You play ball like a giiirrrlll!" And everyone gasps and STFU because there's just nothing you can say to that. I feel like the adult equivilant of that insult is "You are a big gaping vagina!"

screechhater · 2016-07-21T11:13:55+00:00

With all due respect, once you quell your anger and realize you are not a victim in this life and all that you experienced has actually molded you and determined how you would interact with others, peace will be yours or not. It truly depends how you fave all the experiences and manipulation of your past

I think that a solid experience lead to an epiphany that dictated a change in your life. As you continue to course correct and realign your values to fit your present and future self many instances will come up to analyze the data. What is more useful than anything is to sit back and mull over the info and then and only then should you comment

I only saw a post from an OP so hurt by his former SO actions and manipulation of his daughter toward him, because of his inabilities to truly understand the ramifications of each of his decisions leading to his future relationship. And, now being in a much better place, he wants the daughter to recognize what his daughter cannot, because of conditioning. It's a sick twisted catch 22. But, reality bites.

Ya, we all agree, you do you, but the OP stating emphatically, a younger half sibling's hurt, coupled with his, is driving his decisions or actions to try and coax the daughter with some offers, to no avail. I see no covert contract. All isee is a hurt father, that fucked up, has a former SO that used his own flesh and blood against him, and now, not only does he have to deal with that, he has to deal with the teenage years of hard headedness

We all have our problems, but what the original poster needs is direction to stay the course of stability. Not Next, or flames of covert contracts, or bantering that he is a fuck that should overcome his pain

He got a good lesson of wanting better for others in life, especially teens and it was a true altruistic move and she damaged her pos auto and the ex steps up and uses the cash intended for an upgrade, which she could not appreciate, to repair what the teen cannot truly appreciate because it was given, not earned. A good lesson indeed

OP, your parents loved you. And, because your mother was feeding into your fathers conditioning she could not always give you what you needed, but you already know that and you read NMMNG. Your father loved you and because of his ego, coupled with conditioning, you got what he could give you. Me, I got the PTSD and guilt of 2 tours of Vietnam as a special forces operative and either repeated beatings or stories in a drunken stupor of war and then am as kicking, because what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger, twelve years of increased intensity, justifiable, due to his conditioning, to make me a man. Let me tell you, growing up in a big city, wanting trouble was easy and I played into the sheer violence and fucked up a lot of others so goddamned fast, it was unfair to them, because the beatings were worse if I didn't fight back....... Conditioning. Oh, and he and my mother were part of a well recognized cult, to free him of all this ..and she spent so much time making good for him, we were neglected, so we could have a family ...... It's everywhere. So unicorn, you are not

OP, you do you, let others get pissed off the poster deleted his account and seemed to waste their time, and guess what ? After a little reflection, that anger settles out and you don't have to carry it. Part of all this, is learning to recognize, store and access the data at a later time to formulate decisions that directly impact your happiness and well being. Falling asleep in an LTR coming to MRP and discovering the treasure trove is enlightening and incredibly fulfilling. I, you and the other OP may need to delete for a reset or to push it away for a while, who or digesting it. The action still happened and all the info is up in his head. He just has to filter and apply. He will be fine, so will you, so will I. Because, we are willing to work

Two monks come to a creek, and there is s healthy young boy that won't cross. He asks, can one of you carry me accross ? One monk reacts and calls out the young man for being lazy and able bodied, the other places him on his back and gets him to the other side. The refusing monk asks why he would carry that boy, he has to do it himself

The other states, " perhaps your mind cannot see the fear of the boy that cannot swim. By the way, it's over.....open your mind as to what you are not recognizing and be present..... "

spexer · 2016-07-21T14:25:26+00:00

I am still wondering why it was deleted.

I can understand if someone could be doxxed or if the wife gets the reddit account... but outside of that, it is nothin g but a selfish move.

Each post instructs others on the values here - either on what to do or what definitely NOT to do. The invested discussion that follows help even more of us parse that out.

It makes us all better.

bourbonhipster · 2016-07-20T22:57:05+00:00

I was way more disappointed in all the "next your daughter" replies. I thought I could identify with you lot.

Title	I disowned my daughter. And after receiving ~300 man-hours of insightful comments I deleted the original post, because I am a big gaping vagina.
Author	ex_addict_bro
Upvotes	21
Comments	109
Date	July 20, 2016 3:23 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MarriedRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/4trngp/i_disowned_my_daughter_and_after_receiving_300/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MarriedRedPill/i-disowned-my-daughter-and-after-receiving-300-man.199739 https://theredarchive.com/post/199739