Did my patriotic duty and watched the Underwhelming Bowl. Had the boy there so that, once again, I could show him why I am forcing him to learn how to throw a 40-yard spiral, and the wife was in and out as her Hallmark movies cycled (shiver). At one point she is sitting next to me on the couch (staring blankly up at the screen) and I ask her if she knows who is playing. The names had been up on the screen several times, as well as the team logos.

"Isn't it the....um...somebodys and the somebodys...?" And then she sort of half laughs. Yes, dear wife, at some point, a few weeks before the Super Bowl, the league makes sure that somebody is playing somebody else. Way to sum it up.

Fast forward to the presenting of the trophy and Peyton is dodging the retirement question (she had already asked if that was Eli?), and she says, "Aren't they going to show his wife?"

Now there are two reasons a woman might ask that question.

First, she believes that, being his wife, she deserves to be able to be on national TV. Even though Peyton just spent the last couple of hours getting his nuts pounded and after this he gets to soak in a tub of ice water, even though he went through years of painful injuries and surgeries and torturous physical therapy, Mrs. Manning deserves to be in the winners circle too because she, magnanimously, agreed to marry him. Essentially co-opting all of his accomplishments.

Second, and this is the reason my particular spousal unit asked, is so they can judge how pretty the athlete's wife is - which is never prettier than themselves, proving to herself that she could be the one in the limelight if she had not settled for the schmuck sitting next to her on the couch.

I tend to believe that more women would ask for the second reason, because they really don't care about your accomplishments. As long as they get whichever perk that makes other women look at them, the cause has no significance.

In the end I told her that she just missed them showing his wife. Really? Yes. There wasn't a mic on him at that point, but he leaned over and said something in her ear. What did he say? (woman I just said there was no mic on him! briefly rang in my head)

Well, from what I could see of his lips moving, and the way she ran off, I think he said, "Go get me a beer." (way to help me by talking about drinking a lot of beer tonight, Boss)

MRP is a life hack. It is not a noble pursuit, it is not fixing the problem. MRP teaches you how to be happy even though Shats Creek has passed flood stage and the crest is no where in sight.

EDIT: In my younger days, I would have asked why she asked that question. And to be honest, part of the reason I would have asked is that I did not already know the answer. Asking would have resulted in her having to explain, which she would not do, and would result in no uppy-downy. Now, after TRP and MRP, not only do I know the reason, I don't care about the reason, and I can make her laugh and go get me something to drink and STILL get the uppy-downy.

EDIT 2: Fo da PEYTONS