I see a lot of the new guys struggling with the concept of shit-tests. I was one of them. The concept of shit-test highly resonated with me, but I did not grasp it correctly for the first time. I knew it was true, but failed to see the whole picture. So I got into thinking about it. A lot. I entertained different ideas, and came to some insightful conclusions.

There are two reasons why I wrote this stuff in first person: First, this is from personal experience as well as a lot of thinking from my part, and some of it might be proven wrong as time passes (as happened before with some of my „great” ideas). So this is not an objective assessment by any means, just my thoughts on the topic. Second, I think it will be easier for readers to identify themselves with the things I talk about.

So, without further ado, this is the story of how I figured out the dreaded shit-test.

When we unplug, all we hear is „You should recognize the shit-tests, defuse them, and hold your frame to earn your girl’s respect.” – For a newly unplugged guy this could be just as well in Cantonese, because these terms are a bit foggy (if not completely incomprehensible) you think you get them, but unless you put effort in to really think about them, you’ll probably end up in with a diluted or overgeneralized concept.

There is a good reading about shit-tests, The Tao of Badass by Joshua Pellicer, I highly recommend it, but it focuses mostly on the aspect of picking up chicks, but in my opinion, shit-tests are much more complex than that. But it is a good place to start with.

Personally, learning about shit-tests was the very thing that led to my taking the red pill. It was an eye-opener for me: I instantly knew this was something VERY important, yet it was hard to grasp the concept. There were a lot of misconceptions I made about shit-tests, I will start with the one I was told when I first learned about shit-tests.

Misconception No.1: Shit-tests are used by women to evaluate men.

Wrong. Shit-tests are used by everyone, all the time. „So shit-tests are there to tell the strong males from the weak ones. But how can I recognize them and pass them on the spot?” – I was thinking. Well, it turned out shit-tests are much more entrenched in our society than I thought. But it was very confusing at first.

After I learned about shit-tests, I started to run across them all the time, and mostly from people I never intended to hit on, half of them not even women! My eyes were opened, and I realized I was shit-tested at work, on the street, in the mall, hell, even my parents and family were throwing shit-tests at me. It felt like I was playing a game where everyone knew the rules, but they forgot to tell me… I started getting desperate, bitter, even paranoid: „Is there anyone I can trust? Everybody is shitting me for no reason! I have to be on my toes all the times!” Which brings us to the next misconception.

Misconception No.2: Shit-tests are crafted to find out if I know the good answer

Wrong. There is no such thing as THE good answer. There are hundreds of good answers but also millions of bad answers.

It doesn't matter WHAT I answer, it only matters HOW I react to them. Shit-tests cannot be defined without the answer, that’s why is so hard to define them. In fact, the answer defines the shit-test. I elaborate on this later. (see No.4)

But even when I started to tackle the shit-test correctly, I was still furious. How mean and spiteful people are to throw shit-tests at me all the time? Even people I trusted? This was another misconception.

Misconception No.3: People use shit-tests to fuck with me.

Wrong. Shit-tests MOST OF THE TIME are not conscious tools. People are not out there to constantly test me if I am good enough. I am not that important to them. (see No.6)

Some of them are meant to be jokes. („What’s that? A soul patch? Looks like you missed a spot during shaving!”) Some are simple small talk. („What are you up to? I haven’t see you in the pub for ages.”) Others are meant to be insults. („Why bother learning Kung-Fu? You’ll never be good at it.”) Others are simply outlashes. („Johnson, what’s that fucking mess on your desk? Clean it up already!”) Some are just meaningless factoids, UNTIL you react to them. („Richard took Barbara to the opera the other night.”)

As you can see, they come in all different shapes and sizes. This is why most newly unplugged guys struggle with shit-tests. There are so many variations, they cannot even give a correct definition so every kind will be covered. It is so amorphous and malleable! There is no hard line between a joke and an insult, or a malicious remark.

For me, the best part was when I realized I can treat shit-tests as I want. I could treat an insult as a compliment, making the insulter look stupid. I could also treat a joke as an insult, making myself look all butthurt. MY ANSWER DEFINES THE SHIT-TEST. Not only if I have passed it, but also if it was a shit-test at all.

This is where one's frame comes into the picture (pun very much intended). If my perception about the truth is stronger than of my partner in conversation, I can turn any sentence, remark or insult into anything that serves my purpose. I can shape the conversation to my best interest.

Misconception No.4: I should start using shit-tests on other people too

Wrong. I was already using shit-tests. I always have. You too. Remember when you said something completely innocent and people started acting butthurt out of the blue? That was them failing YOUR shit-test. Or remember when you said something and the other person responded with a clever comeback? Again, that was them passing your shit-test.

As I said earlier, shit-test are usually used unconsciously. It wasn't a shit-test until they reacted to it (butthurt or clever). In fact, the shit-tests are nonexistent UNTIL someone reacts to them. That’s why so many shit-tests can be defused by ignoring them. That’s why STFU works so many times.

Think about Schroedinger's cat: the cat is simultaneously dead and alive UNTIL you open the box and see for yourself. People say all kinds of things, and then OBSERVE YOUR REACTION. The shit-test comes into being by someone reacting to it, before that it DOES NOT EXIST per se. There is no such thing as an unanswered shit-test.

But what about conscious shit-testing? Should I use it for fun?

Misconception No. 5: If I use shit-tests on people, they will resent me

Wrong. Turns out they respect me more. I think this was my first step towards becoming an alpha. If I have the time to fuck with other people, I must have my own shit under control. That’s what people assume automatically. I realized I hated shit-tests because I thought they were aimed at me, and I resented everyone for it.

Every person, male or female, are full of insecurities, self-awareness, and self-doubt, and they know their own faults and flaws MUCH better than I could ever, Hell, most people are so fucked up, that if I poke at them randomly, I will have a good chance to hit an insecurity. But it doesn't really matter. If they have no problem where I shit-test them, they will react with integrity. („How can you not like bacon?” – I just really don’t like the taste of it.” End of story.) If I hit a sore spot, they will either deflect it, or get hurt by it. It STILL doesn't matter. What matters is, that I AM testing THEM, so I must be superior to them in that aspect. That’s what they will assume, and strangely that’s also what I feel when I shit-test them. It gives you an unexpected amount of authority and self-confidence.

So if I know the shit-tests inside out, I should be able to pass all of them. Right?

Misconception No.6: I HAVE to pass all the shit-tests

Wrong. I can fail some of them. Not the end of the world. People forget.

My thinking was along these lines: I am the most important person to myself, and I only know what’s in my head. I have no way to know what other people are thinking, but probably they think similarly about themselves: Their smallest problem seems to be bigger than any of mine. I have plenty of my own problems, I have no time to other people’s problems (I have time only for those which affect me – therefore essentially I am making those my problems). So other people must feel similar about my problems – they just don’t care.

This only came to me when I started using shit-tests as a conscious tool. There were some unexpected results, some people passed shit-tests, when I thought they would surely fail, other high self-esteemed people failed some very basic shit-tests. What surprised me, that my general conception of those people haven’t changed, I only thought a little better or worse of them.

So I realized, I can fail several shit-tests, AS LONG AS I PASS MORE THAN I FAIL. If I pass most of the shit-tests, I will come across as a strong, integrated person, because people will remember only impressions about me. I am a generalized heap of preconceptions to them (just as they are to me).

I can’t describe how freeing this realization was to me, I felt unburdened from pressure to succeed all the time, stopped being paranoid and anxious about other people’s opinions about me.

Then I realized, there is one more reason why I shouldn't aim to pass 100% of the shit-tests.

Misconception No.7: Everything that looks like a shit-test, is an actual shit-test

Wrong. I think this one is fairly straightforward, but I’ve seen newly unplugged guys seeing ghosts everywhere.

Not everything is a shit test. Some of them are genuine requests. People ask for my help, I ask help from other people, this is how the world works. It is up to me to decide if it is a shit-test I am perceiving as one, or not. Nobody can or will think for me. I have to do the work. It’s up to me to decide if it is a legitimate favor I am being asked, or am I being used. Sure, sometimes I will fail, and come across as a jerk, and other times I will do stuff for people that I shouldn't. It’s my responsibility. I own it.