For all you guys that ask for advice and then get pissy, or delete your account read this

thisisme0007 · 2015-05-19T16:57:28+00:00

Definitely the best advice I have gotten here was extremely critical. I listened, internalized and the advice set me straight.

So for new unpluggers like me, I would highly recommend that you lean in whenever someone is speaking critically to you.

livingwood72 · 2015-05-19T17:26:54+00:00

I was this guy. I wandered in here about 4 months ago, threw an opinion around, got smashed to bits and left. Deleted my account. Then I reflected, returned with the goal to read 10x what I post. It was worth getting ripped apart, I feel better equipped to deal with the reality now

cholomite · 2015-05-19T18:05:49+00:00

The straight up, no bullshit, no sugar coating is one of the things I like about this sub. Don't ever change guys. If you're being told an unpleasant truth and it doesn't sting a little, it wasn't true enough.

BluepillProfessor · 2015-05-19T16:29:57+00:00

Red Pill guys are guys who have dropped the covert contracts from our lives. We have adopted a IDGAF attitude.

If you think you are going to get coddled and jerked on in this sub think again.

If you think our purpose is to stand in a giant circle and jerk ourselves so that the last one to finish has to eat the cookie, think again.

If you think you can post about your shitty marriage and everybody is going to sympathize with you and side against your wife then you are DEFINITELY in the wrong sub.

TLDR: Even when you post, OWN YOUR SHIT!

RedCML · 2015-05-19T18:53:47+00:00

I've ripped some men to shreds since the sub was born---I did it out of love. I lived way way too long in a BP fog and am so happy that I can now see.

Helping other men keeps me from slipping back to the irresistible coma where I actually believe I am loved and appreciated just for being me

alpha_n3rd · 2015-05-19T18:59:20+00:00

Agree for the most part but just to play devils advocate...

Criticism can be bullshit.

There was this one guy at my old startup who ripped me up and down in a sr. management meeting. Lobbed all sorts of criticisms at me. Some were valid, some were not. He was a total dick about it. I ended up leaving the company, not entirely because of him, but partly. Turned out he was really just a big jackass, wasn't pulling his own weight, was doing all the bad shit he accused me of and more, took off a few months later and fucked the company over, and nobody was as sorry to see him go as they were me.

I might also add there's a bit of a "shit all over the n3wbs" thing going on here. I've deleted my old posts for security reasons. But in my very first one I got taken to task big time for "not understanding core RP concepts". This was AFTER I'd read EVERYTHING in the sidebar and the top 100 posts including all the comments. When pressed nobody was willing or able to explain what exactly I didn't understand. At all. Not even attempts. Not even you, BPP. Just "STEWPID N3WB U DONT GET IT READ TEH SIDEBARZ!" over and over. Not particularly helpful. I'm still here 6 mos later though and in hindsight I STILL don't understand what folks thought I didn't understand. I've concluded it was just a case of shit-on-the-n00b because overall this place has been awesome and super helpful to my life.

*I've also had a client criticize me for "arguing" with him when he asked me to do the impossible and I told him in a professional manner that it was impossible, showed him why, with references, and suggested several alternatives. He made it pretty clear he would never hire me again and that was why.

fnordsnord · 2015-05-20T00:57:05+00:00

There are some valid points here. But it you deliver criticism while sounding like an asshole, people quit listening.

That drill Sergent shit works really well in the army, when the dude can't walk away.

Applying it here can make guys you could otherwise save say, "fuck these assholes" and then leave.

And if you don't give a shit about helping them, why are you here?

strategos_autokrator · 2015-05-20T07:08:38+00:00

The reason why I find value in this sub is because of that criticism. I can do the reading on my own, and i usually understand things. However, it is all too easy for me to trick myself and not see my own flaws. Men have a hamster too. That is always the biggest obstacle for my self improvement.

I've been criticized here many times. It stings at time, or it puts me in denial. But I take special care to think hard about the criticism that makes me feel uncomfortable, the one that pisses me off. I save it and reread it the day after and the week after. My logic is that if that criticism made me feel so strongly, it means that it has some nugget of wisdom about something I hadn't considered before, so I can learn from it. It is a new perspective, and new perspectives help me consider new possibilities. Not all the time the strong criticism is 100% right, often because I forgot important details. However, EVERYTIME by accepting the criticism and using it to examine myself I learn something powerful about myself, and how to improve.

The reason why good boxers don't train alone, they have a gym, friends, staff, coaches, is because it is all too easy for a good boxer to focus on what he is good at and not do the stuff that he isn't good at, and be successful, but not improve as much as he could. We all can use outside criticism without taking it as judgement, and then use it to understand our weak areas, and make plans for improvements.

Think about it: If one of the internet strangers here come and give you very direct advice that might make you understand a weakness and improve on it, even if it stings, that is a valuable gift.

Roughknot · 2015-05-20T09:58:22+00:00

My comment from the main original thread stands:

He wasn't looking for feedback or criticism. It sounds like he was looking for endorsement or validation of his approach. That way if it didn't work he >could transfer the agency of responsibility to the "TRP community" and therefore not take any >responsibility for his actions. If it worked, he was right all along. Basically he is scared of failing and even more scared of taking responsibility for failing.

The people here aren't a crutch to help you justify bad decisions so suck it up. The reason to don't post much is that I know that I don't have the self awareness to articulate the problem or issue. However by clearing conveying an issue in a post I may get some perspective of the situation from perfect strangers as they do not share my blind spots.

2015-05-20T15:11:29+00:00

Good call BluepillProfessor. That's why I love whinemorepleases' comments more than anything. He is brutally honest and making a good statement in the process.

Title	For all you guys that ask for advice and then get pissy, or delete your account read this
Author	BluepillProfessor
Upvotes	26
Comments	26
Date	May 19, 2015 4:25 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MarriedRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/36iavq/for_all_you_guys_that_ask_for_advice_and_then_get/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MarriedRedPill/for-all-you-guys-that-ask-for-advice-and-then-get.201891 https://theredarchive.com/post/201891