Wife lied again. Plan to kick her out, but want to make sure I’m doing the right thing. Help?!

Maximus_Valerius · 2019-01-21T02:12:26+00:00

Last week I told her

This was a mistake. You verba'd when you should have acta'd.

I won’t ever be able to take myself seriously

You made a mistake by issuing an ultimatum and she called your bluff. So what? Learn from it.

But I’m emotional

You know you are emotional, so give yourself a time out (go to the gym) and get back to logical thinking. If you still want her out after you've calmed down, then develop a sound plan (including consulting a lawyer) and execute it on your terms.

The_Litz · 2019-01-21T07:11:27+00:00

Brother, slow the fuck down.

You are a few weeks into your journey, you have spiraled out of control and are reacting 100% on your emotions right now.

For a start, calm down. You have been at it for only a few weeks. There is a lot of damage to be undone and rebuilding to take place.

The fact that you are on here asking already means you are totally unsure as what to do.

Don't do anything right now. You don't have the frame to issue ultimatums, carry out threats etc etc. I strongly doubt you would be able to kick her out as you claimed you are going to do.

Stop reacting on your emotions, they are not to be trusted.

Work according to your MAP. You have at least seven months to work on unfucking yourself.

Why your wife lies.

From your OYS it sounds like you are really trying to micro manage her and you have a need to know every little detail of her life. Stop doing it. She wants space, she wants to live her own life. In her shoes, I would also lie to you about where/what/with who I was. You are overcrowding her with your insecurity.

The dude at the mall, context? It is a red flag, or at the least something to monitor, especially as she is accusing you of spending time with your co worker. My first instinct is that she is projecting her infidelities onto you. Happens a lot.

Now going forward, stop being so butthurt the whole time. This passive aggressive 'I will show her' is not going to help.

Get some distance between you so that you can gain some better perspective and operate in your MAP and not your emotions. You really need to reset every fucking day. No exceptions

And for the love of all that is holy, don't get her pregnant. No kids allowed into this drama.

ChokingDownRP · 2019-01-21T02:48:37+00:00

What's the nature of her relationship worth the guy she met at the mall? Presumably, if she's lying about it, it's not ok...but then again, I just read an OYS of yours where she lied about googling pizza, and you turning down her attempt to fuck you as an apology after you acted butthurt about her googling pizza. Stay plan = go plan, bit you've fucked up by making an ultimatum you're unwilling to enforce.

BarracudaRP · 2019-01-21T03:00:53+00:00

Pump the brakes, shut the fuck up. Take a deep breath. Stop.

You're 3 weeks into MRP. You need to stop making vague threats about "consequences", because you clearly didn't have a plan and you still don't have one now. Yout wife met up with another guy and you have some evidence? That sucks, but do you understand that Step 1 is Contact Divorce Attorney, Step 2 is STFU and go to the gym, and Step 3 is Make a Plan So You Don't Get Fucked. Notice how none of those steps are "Confront Her About Her Lies". You can do that once you've executed your plan, on your own timeline. You would know this if you searched the forums for help before you started typing up this Victim Puke.

This post and your others show that you are operating very heavily in your wife's frame. This is common, but you shouldn't be making decisions or trying power plays from here brother. You are showing your hand by threatening to kick her out, even if you do go through with it, and even if it's the right thing to do: BECAUSE YOU ARE DOING IT IN REACTION TO HER. You're so deep in her frame, you're talking about her cheating, and you're so rocked by her accusations about a female co-worker that you're actually responding to your wife's accusations against you? She's testing you, and you're losing by responding or acknowledging it at all.

So what do you do now OP? For one, stop replying to that cheating cunt's questions about this female coworker. In fact, stop replying to your wife at all. While you're out of the house, hit the gym and then the bar. That coworker, the one your wife is angry about - tonight's the night to fuck her. Sleep at a buddy's house or hotel, tell your wife none of this (ever) - because you've been talking to her too much, and now it's time to STFU. You don't have a good direction or plan, so why are you going to force your wife into having a confrontation with you?

Or instead of STFU, tell her you know everything and play all your cards and kick her out. Something tells me she'll have no problem finding a place to stay tonight, and now she'll be extra careful to not get caught next time.

witnessthenomorebp · 2019-01-21T02:00:07+00:00

You know the proper way to handle it, you are just too scared to handle it. Put on your big boy pants and deal with it as if you actually give a fuck about yourself and believe you have any value. Or don't.

ChokingDownRP · 2019-01-21T15:44:47+00:00

My previous post basically called you a frameless bitch who was over reacting. After re-reading your post, though, it sure sounds like she's projecting - saying you're in the wrong spending time with your co-worker, when she's the one fucking around. That's her hamster trying to justify what she's doing by convincing herself you're likely doing it too.

JCX_Pulse · 2019-01-21T19:26:41+00:00

From your previous ows :

I found MRP too late to save the marriage, but I found it at the perfect time to save myself.

Continue with this plan. This plan should now have 0 investment in her anymore, so why even bother with any of this type of dynamic (confronting, ultimatums, etc...thrashing about).

Yes, you're responsible for getting it here...but it's here already. There's no need to throw good effort after bad. Sometimes part of the process is realizing things could have been different had you been a different man from the start. But you can't rewrite history.

She's actively investing in branch swinging. No kids? Only been married a year and a half? She could be a plate at best going forward. And that's if she does a 180 after you improve.

There should be no shit tests or comfort tests at this point. You don't have time for this shit anymore. Work on you.

FYI: Way long ago in a marriage far far away in a time before red pill. I dated a girl for 7 years. Married her for about 2. Then we divorced with no ties. No lawyers. Depends on the state. But if no contest, just do your own paperwork. Actually had it notorized at a Kroger. Too funny.

Come at it from the "I want you to be happy" and free her up angle. Then don't fuck up with new girls and set a better foundation. AFTER you've monk mode-d it long enough to be unshakable in new situations.

I just don't see the attachment need for no-kid marriages. If you have one, you're failing at oneitis.

[deleted] · 2019-01-21T02:01:02+00:00

Only you know your situation. But if she is sneaking around that is certainly grounds for divorce. BUT you may want to talk to a lawyer, now may or may not be the optimal time. You may need to lay the groundwork to make the process come out more in your favor. Go talk to a lawyer.

BobbyPeru · 2019-01-21T03:28:16+00:00

We need more context on the actual situation. Who is the guy? How did you find out? How did she react? Etc

I will say that’s a huge red flag that she tried to turn it on you, but you are new to this so you need to calm the fuck down until you understand TRP better.

Redpillbrigade17 · 2019-01-21T02:41:50+00:00

Have you met with a lawyer yet? Are you prepared to file in case you choose to, and are you prepared in case she files?

If not you’re a pilot flying blind, no instruments for things like altitude and speed.

Good luck.

[deleted] · 2019-01-21T02:44:31+00:00

I agree it is time for you to split from this woman.

SailorAground · 2019-01-21T06:07:12+00:00

Stop giving a fuck about your wife's lies!

You're about to blow up your marriage and play right into her hands. This is like showing your hand at a poker game. You need to contact an attorney (better yet, contact five and poison the field for her) because dollars to donuts she already has and is already thinking about branch swinging away.

If you are really going to torpedo your marriage, you need to have a solid plan that involves a good attorney otherwise you're going to lose and it's going to ruin your life. Take a deep breath and from here on out, act like everything is peachy keen until it's time to set your trap.

mrp_awakening · 2019-01-21T14:04:30+00:00

Caught wife in a lie this morning. She visited some guy at a mall with her friend who’s in from out of town visiting. From my post history you will know my wife has been lying to be for awhile.

Yeah, lying sucks but you're not in a position to be able to do anything about it. You're probably a 5, she's probably a 7. If you stay, she'll keep being shady and lie. If you divorce, she'll divorce rape you and you probably won't be able to get any strange for months to a year anyways. You need her more than she needs you, and neediness isn't attractive. Congratulations and welcome to MRP. Good news is that it seems it's just hanging out... the mall's a pretty public place, and she's likely not gonna do anything stupid in front of her friend. Unless her friend thinks you're a chump too.

After finding out I told her I was going to go out for some time by myself but didn’t tell her where, when she asked why I said I just needed to get some fresh air.

So you're actions just told her you're emotional, and you're feelz got butthurt. Great... this won't go over like a lead balloon.

Her friend leaves in 5 hours or so to go to the airport, I planned on going back after 5 hours and telling wife to pack a bag and GTFO.

Still operating in her frame... waiting for a convenient timeframe for your wife.

My question is, should I do this or is it emotional, passive aggressive behavior? Last week I told her if she lied to me again there would be consequences and I’m afraid if I don’t stand my ground and make good on my word I won’t ever be able to take myself seriously. But I’m emotional and don’t want to make some stupid proclamation I think will help but is actually a Beta move.

At this stage, I wouldn't do it. It is passive aggressive, but also your threats don't have much teeth, and there's no planning in sight. You tell her to GTFO, now she spends the night with mall guy, consummates it, and you're left at home, butthurt, and without anything going for you. You're choices are to let her in after basically telling her to consummate her emotional affair physically, or get divorce raped. Bad plan. How about you stick to the sidebar... STFU. Not because "you're angry and gonna show her" but because you legitimately have better things to do with your time. Go lift. Do a hobby. Take a walk. Shop for better clothes. If something needs to get done in the house... do it. Start owning things. Quit getting emotional... realize you have a choice to be happy and in a good mood, and exercise that choice constantly. Start implementing dread, and work on identifying shit tests. Take the lead by improving yourself... and by the time she realizes what's happened you will now have the power to make the choice you want. If you want to split then, you'll be in a better place, and she'll be fighting to keep you.

Edit: wife called and accused me of being with my female co-worker and demanded I delete her from my life and don’t talk to her again. I could give a fuck about this girl she’s talking about, but she’s trying gain leverage over me by saying I’m digging through her life because I’m ashamed of my own. Wtf? I’m too new to know what the proper way to handle all of this is.

Classic projection. She's emotionally (and potentially physically) cheating and expects everyone else to be acting as she is. She's taken it a step further and is claiming you're projecting too... the hamster is exceptionally strong with this one. Seeing as she called, did you kick her out? She's probably seeing him right now, looking for a reason not to feel guilty if things escalate. It's a shit test... and if you give any air of fighting or being butthurt, or if she ends up thinking you're hiding something, she won't feel guilty. You probably don't have enough alpha frame to pull off AA or AM... and stakes are high if you fail. Best option might be to ignore it, and find something better to do with my time than argue. Preferably something where you have an excuse not to have your phone on you.

red-sfpplus · 2019-01-21T16:14:04+00:00

5 hours!?

First thing I would want to know is if he has TSA PreCheck.

If so that give him at least 3 hours and 45 min to fuck her brains out before his commute to the airport.

Sounds like a good time and plenty of time to fill her pussy up with some Alpha come. I know, done it many times. Sent them home full of my hot man juices.

Second thing is that you cant kick your wife out of shit. Cops will not make her leave a marital home and it takes months and months to get temp exclusive use of a property sans a violent episode and TRO.

Do not know you, your history and I really dont care.

These are marriage ending events in my book. Plain and simple.

I can tell you to stop being a faggot, but you would be at a lawyers office and not on reddit if you had any balls.

Kinda like me.

Not a single fuck on here knew I served my wife until long after it happened. I didnt need any anon cheerleaders making life decisions for me.

JCX_Pulse · 2019-01-21T02:16:18+00:00

Thank you for your responses

JameisBong · 2019-01-21T03:30:24+00:00

Have a plan, hit the gym and end that relationShit especially if children aren't involved.

screechhater · 2019-01-23T02:37:45+00:00

Frameless.

Missionless.

Do you even fucking lift ?

You give too many fucks about a cunt that wants to blow her and your shit up over you not creating enough tingles.

Guess what ? It’s your fault

Tiway22 · 2019-01-21T01:55:12+00:00

Bro if she’s lying about meeting up with a guy you have to dump her.

Ex-wife needs to happen asap.

HERE2SHILL · 2019-01-21T07:06:09+00:00

OP you sound like a psycho

Namel909 · 2019-01-21T11:41:06+00:00

Good luck

FoxShitNasty83 · 2019-01-21T13:59:27+00:00

Fucking rambo

FereallyRed · 2019-01-22T23:50:57+00:00

Wife, wife, she, she, her, her.

You do any shit for yourself today? Ever?

Fucking Rambo.

STFU and get on with YOUR life.

Bedtimeshine · 2019-01-23T10:30:43+00:00

You need to do all things the commenters say about improving yourself. But you also need to get out of this marriage.

RedPillCoach · 2019-01-24T04:53:11+00:00

This is your answer. Don't go Rambo.

JCX_Pulse · 2019-01-24T20:20:03+00:00

Alright, let me know when you’ve uploaded it again.

Title	Wife lied again. Plan to kick her out, but want to make sure I’m doing the right thing. Help?!
Author	JCX_Pulse
Upvotes	17
Comments	55
Date	January 20, 2019 8:23 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askMRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/ai1vyw/wife_lied_again_plan_to_kick_her_out_but_want_to/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askMRP/wife-lied-again-plan-to-kick-her-out-but-want-to.203659 https://theredarchive.com/post/203659