Need serious advice about a plate

Persaeus · 2018-09-24T17:18:54+00:00

whether your wife hears it from you or your sloot makes no difference, so

most threats are hollow, call her bluff. most likely nothing happens.

if she does rat you out; you got two basic options:

deny, deny, deny and take it to your grave. no advisable if your sloot has evidence.
own it, don't apologize; and tell your wife to do better or GTFO. see this post for an example

djxput · 2018-09-24T18:29:39+00:00

While I don't envy the OPs predicament, ty for bringing this up. Moral of the story don't spin a plate if you can't handle what may occur.

As other people said you have to own it.

JudgeDoom69 · 2018-09-24T17:32:09+00:00

Go to your wife with a story about how the plate came on to you, and you (of course) flatly rejected her.

When the plate outs you, she'll come across as a crazy spurned woman who is telling lies. And you're the dutiful husband who stood by his wife despite the advances of this evil temptress.

If you play it right, your SMV will go up in the eyes of your wife because it will validate your desirability.

MrPurplePoison · 2018-09-24T17:22:52+00:00

My immediate advice would be to go completely no contact with the crazy. She is using threats and fear to control you and it is working. You are playing her game and she will always win.

There is no damage control here, there is just how you handle it. If you are higher value to your wife than any of her other prospects she will probably stick around. If you are not you may want to beg forgiveness and work on improving yourself, step up and take the lumps.

If you do tell your wife, please be adult enough to come 100% clean, don't hide crap, and don't do damage control. That crap is torture.

Get a full panel STI test, get your wife tested.

mindfulbutgutless · 2018-09-24T17:19:00+00:00

Own it.

but how do I frame this to my wife without cowering like a fucking dog with my tail between my legs?

Being upfront and apologetically honest. Why did you decide to spin a plate in the first place?

How do I do damage control?

My guess would be by getting out in front of it. Or you could have the crazy bitch do it for you and play defense...Deny deny deny

CalvinRichland · 2018-09-24T18:06:26+00:00

Why did it get to this point

FlyingSexistPig · 2018-09-24T20:53:37+00:00

You cheated on your wife.

You didn't step through the 12 levels of dread. You didn't lead, you just did what you wanted to do. Now you're wondering how you talk your way out of it, just like all the cheating women do.

TheUnReasonableMan44 · 2018-09-24T22:20:48+00:00

Here's my advice... Ignore the plate.

She is crazy. If she goes to the wife... who cares. You did it. Own it. Then use it as a chance to let the wife know that you love her but are interested in sex with other people. If thats a deal breaker for her then either walk away, limit yourself, or be better at doing it discretely.

I'm firm believer in owning shit. You're a man and one of the defining factors of that is being an honest person. I don't personally feel like that means I have to disclose everything I do to my wife, but I do think that it means I don't lie about or deny it either if confronted/asked directly.

(Source: Have spun plates behind the wives back. Currently have a ONS that has befriended my wife. Am I worried? Nah. The wife understands that predators have to hunt. Also, most chics have zero desire to out themselves as sluts, esp. to other women that will judge them.)

[deleted] · 2018-09-26T07:07:54+00:00

Are you prepared for when she tells you one night, in the not too distant future, that she went out and got her some action on the side too?

tmh88mrp · 2018-09-24T17:03:48+00:00

Fukt.

[deleted] · 2018-09-24T21:27:57+00:00

"I fucked up and I am sorry. I know how hurt you must be and understand if you want to leave me."

Done. Broken record if she keeps bringing it up. Beyond that, there isn't much else to say.

If she asks you "why" just pressure flip "is there any excuse for my fuck up that would justify my actions?"

Title	Need serious advice about a plate
Author	throwawaywithstyle5
Upvotes	9
Comments	35
Date	September 24, 2018 4:57 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askMRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/9ijnyu/need_serious_advice_about_a_plate/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askMRP/need-serious-advice-about-a-plate.203981 https://theredarchive.com/post/203981