What is the fly in the ointment of your success?

gettingmymojoback · 2018-08-23T09:58:30+00:00

Resisting the urge to talk when it’s best to STFU. That’s a tough beta trait to keep down after decades of programming to “talk it out”.

Interestingly enough I’ve found I’m starting to build a Pavlovian response to it. Every single time I’ve resisted the urge to open my mouth and say some lame ass shit has ended up with getting blown or fucking (her initiating) within 24 hrs.

Makes it a lot easier to remember to STFU if the urge to spill your fee fees arises.

simbarlion · 2018-08-23T07:14:51+00:00

her work travel x my hamster.

It cripples progress despite a pretty clear allegiance.

2ndal · 2018-08-23T13:08:42+00:00

Everyone's fly comes down to one thing: their self. Most guys are going to say that she does this, she does that, and those things are what keep them from having the life they want. Whatever it is that she does that you think is your fly is wrong: it's you, and how you fail to hold your self on course against the things life throws at you, including her actions.

Persaeus · 2018-08-23T10:12:50+00:00

Not smashing widely available strange is a real struggle.

Cloudsurf89 · 2018-08-23T11:18:25+00:00

Not yet having a clear idea of my mission.

You can't have true drive, passion and direction until you have picked out what it is that you give a shit about and are consistently working towards it.

I reflect regularly on this but I recognise that 'finding and pursuing my mission'is my life's work. Still, when I act on odd motivations then I guess it could be counted as a fly in the ointment as it's not propelling me in the right direction.

I welcome discussion on this

IRunYourRiver · 2018-08-23T12:30:06+00:00

Just starting here. So my ointment is chock full of flies. Everyone says it starts with frame, so that's what I'm working on first.

innominating · 2018-08-23T13:45:57+00:00

Having too many fucks to give about what other people may think. In other words, failing to be my own judge.

This manifests itself in many ways: guilt, shame, and loss of OI.

I have to periodically read NMMNG and the beginning on WISNIFG to maintain OI.

It all makes sense logically and I buy in fully, only to have a trigger event bring about emotions and I’m aware I’m giving too many fucks logically but the emotions don’t stop for a couple of days.

Despite this weakness STFU allows me to maintain frame and fuck my wife how and when I want. I’m killing it on mission, hobbies, friends, and life.

I also have a lingering desire to not be married. Fence sitting sucks. I’ve been doing it for two years.

helaughsinhidden · 2018-08-23T15:09:02+00:00

So... what is the fly in the ointment of you achieving your optimal level of success?

1. Complacency.

It's why I ignored the gym so long. I used to be beta as hell, for real. I am pretty sure my dad has actually undiagnosed autism as a matter of fact and he was my role model apart from drug dealers that associated with as a teenager. Through studying men's psychology and men in the bible, I updated my thinking a while back with decent results. My wife, thankfully, responds really well now after a fairly rough adjustment period. At that point, I stopped reading, I stopped going to the gym, stopped updating my belief system in the relationship, and started to give in to small shit tests slowly and just allowing myself to feel guilty saying no. I have noticed that I am just too satisfied with moderate success and should really keep the pressure on.

2. Abundance Mentality.

I do have the mentality and reality though. In general, her friends or women at church compliment me to her directly telling her she is so lucky, blah blah. My wife is quite attractive so she doesn't express genuine threat, but if I get a complimented in front of her or through her, we have great sex that night for sure. I traveled for work to places like Vegas, New Orleans, London, and Copenhagen I get IOI's and have opportunity. Sometimes to my surprise, I had to turn a few attractive women down.

Here's the catch, my wife and I are Christians and it's for real (I know, my language is hypocritical at times). She knows that I took my vows serious and I have an issue with giving her the "vibe" that I might be cheating, could start cheating, or could leave her to attain dread. She still comfort tests me though. For example, when recently I started my gym membership, she made a series of comments over the course of the first week like "why did you join a gym" "who are you trying to impress?" and I joke back "I need to stay fit for my all my girlfriends" Something I wouldn't have said without MRP, but it's banter, and I think she knows it, and she also knows I am faithful.

3. Oneitis

I never saw myself at the prize. Wife was sought after by all my friends before we even dated. I saw her as a 9 and me a 6.5. She gained weight will all 5 kids and used to have a little crazy in her from being raised by an alcoholic, bpd mother. Even with the weight, I still see her like she was in high school and she's always remained very beautify. Get's hit on even at +200 and last time we drank at a bar she had a F HB8 hitting on her. Once I eliminated most of my beta traits and took the helm, I started to forget her black belt in shit-testing and didn't notice the hypergamy as I wasn't familiar with it yet. She makes comments that pop that bubble that I ignored before and displays how it's never enough. I have turned a huge corner this summer in this area, but it's 20 years of belief that I am fighting. She is approaching the wall and I am getting in better shape, that's all helped a ton, but oneitis is still an issue for me.

BostonBrakeJob · 2018-08-23T14:03:35+00:00

Balancing what I want in the moment with the "type of dude I want to be" and how it fits into my long game. Namely, Jesse's girl.

CaptJohnLukeDiscard · 2018-08-23T21:59:07+00:00

I talk too much. I was raised by a single mom who conditioned me to overcommunicate via what was effectively emotional manipulation. What's funny is I'm married to a woman who is pretty evenly balanced on the emotional spectrum and really isn't much into communication like that. Regardless, I'm a grown ass man and need to own my shit in this area more consistently.

BobbyPeru · 2018-08-23T05:33:58+00:00

So, what is the fly in the ointment of your success since this is AMRP?

For everyone, it’s different.

lololasaurus · 2018-08-24T03:27:18+00:00

I have so many areas to work on its not even funny.

I care too much about the actions of other people that don't really affect me. This breaks frame at the times I need it most.

I don't game my wife consistently.

I get manipulated into doing things I don't want to do. This is an area I've made huge strides in but her manipulation is freaking amazing and has all the plausible deniability one could hope for.

I want to work on my MAP (and I am) but time management with a big family and a wife who only checks into the family to disrupt whatever routine I build before checking out again makes it super hard to do much more than the gym after the kids are in bed.

Although I have made great progress over the past 8 months, I have a long way to go physically to be attractive on the level I want to be.

Although I started this 9 months ago, I feel like I'm only beginning.

MrChad_Thundercock · 2018-08-23T16:32:54+00:00

What’s the best ointment to use when I rub one out.

RedPillCoach · 2018-08-24T19:54:15+00:00

what is the fly in the ointment of you achieving your optimal level of success?

My temper and getting flooded in everyday interactions- especially when I am Hangry.

A more general answer to the question, I think, will find that the answers are different from person to person but revolve around a personality defect that is innate to them and which formed early on- either genetic or interacting with your parents (almost always the momma).

I suspect the answers will include:

--that unshakable desire to people please

--Fear of... (insert any random object, feeling, emotion, or person in everyday life)

--Still thinking with a male brain and present as emotionally autistic when dealing with women (i.e. talking when you should STFU, initiating when she is screaming "no" with her body language etc).

weakandsensitive · 2018-08-25T00:33:51+00:00

Dairy. When I have dairy, I have the shits. Lactose intolerance is my kryptonite.

Gets worse when I eat spicy food on top.

Rian_Stone · 2018-08-23T14:17:51+00:00

After I got hit by that car, I've never been able to do heavy pulling exercises without hooks. that and even two surgeries in, my nail is still fucked

So, what do you want to whine about?

RPAlternate42 · 2018-08-23T15:08:42+00:00

Being married and having kids.

MrChad_Thundercock · 2018-08-23T12:07:43+00:00

Reading dumb posts from faggots.

Title	What is the fly in the ointment of your success?
Author	healthyteacher4
Upvotes	14
Comments	69
Date	August 23, 2018 5:11 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askMRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/99kl3u/what_is_the_fly_in_the_ointment_of_your_success/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askMRP/what-is-the-fly-in-the-ointment-of-your-success.204083 https://theredarchive.com/post/204083