Very, very (very) new to this.

My boyfriend (LTR) is mostly "red pill" in his behaviors, though I'm pretty convinced he doesn't know that red pill is a real thing that exists. What I mean is that he is very OI, focused on self improvement, and other things I can't think of at the moment because I'm emotional. So, here I am.

I've been reading posts here and in MRP for the better part of the afternoon, and ultimately it has led to confusion over my issue which is this: I frequently feel lonely in the relationship. I'm beginning to feel resentment, as well.

Yes, I understand that he "isn't responsible for [my] feelings," but the only way I can think of to not feel this way is to leave the relationship, which I don't want to do, yet.

To be clear, I do have a very busy and otherwise fulfilling life, so it's not that I'm just sitting around bored and alone. Rather, he is important to me, so I make time for him. But, by this logic, if he's not making time for me in the same way, I must not be important to him. And while I understand, cognitively, that this isn't how it works (my "love language" is quality time, his seems to be words of affirmation), the understanding does nothing to ease sting. Moreover, I've tried twice to discuss this with him in hopes of reaching some sort of compromise which is more livable for me; the result was not good in that he felt smothered and withdrew even more. For that reason as well as my desire to not be a nag, I don't want to bring it up, again. But now, I'm beginning to feel resentment as well because when I explain that time with him is an emotional need, not only did he not make more of it, he made less.

Is this a case of "hamstering," a failed care test, some combination of both? What do I do, now? Is it fixable?