Stay at home housewife

timeforstretchpants · 2017-10-17T21:18:43+00:00

Childless housewife checking in! We got married this past winter and immediately moved for my husband's new job. I took the opportunity to take up a new career as a housewife, and it has been working out well for us. Since this is the route you want, I probably don't have to explain how nice it is (but I'm happy to talk about it if anyone wants).

Yes, I've had family ask "Are you even looking for a job? What do you do all day?" and telling me about potential opportunities in my new city. From friends and acquaintances, I've gotten everything from confused looks to "oh I wish I didn't have to work full time and then come home and handle cooking and housework".

One new friend told me she left her teaching job over the summer when they were waiting for their adoption to go through. It took a long time and she said for that year she felt like "an awkward, stay at home... unemployed person" because she let herself believe she wasn't doing anything of value. She wished she had "owned it" like I do. I think that's the key. Be proud of your role. Be proud that your husband can support you. Use your time well.

ETA: Nobody has brought up "what if something happens to your husband". Even if I were working now, I'd want to stay home once we have children. I've seen our investment accounts and life insurance and have no financial fears. If I go back to work, I will be able to get A job, even if it isn't the same track or level that I was on before.

[deleted] · 2017-10-17T22:09:05+00:00

Is pharmacy something you'd like to return to in the future? If so, I would not recommend dropping it entirely just yet, the hurdles to get back in are enormous so that is something very real to consider.

You say you want to write and volunteer - is there a way you can combine these with your professional life? Perhaps you can do writing and volunteering in the healthcare field, while working as a pharmacist one or two days a week. This way you'd have more time to look after the home and do the writing that you enjoy, without burning your bridges to the profession that you've worked to build. There really isn't that much housework to be done before children come along, so there's not really any reason to not keep your qualifications and knowledge up to date.

I wouldn't worry too much about what friends and family think of the decision. If you respect their opinions then take their ideas on board, but ultimately it's between yourself and your husband.

ThatStepfordGal · 2017-10-19T08:42:29+00:00

First off, well done for accepting yourself, the judgement of society, especially other women, is the worst and it is a constant struggle. It is totally fine to want that, you are earning time and not money, you’re still earning if you think of it that way.

The fact your husband is thrilled is the best you can ask for, it is his approval you would need above everyone else since he will be your partner in life and your provider. Everyone else doesn’t really mater and if they love you, they will respect your decision. If not, it’s just something you have to toughen up for, it gets easier over time.

Other than saving, just make sure he has income insurance just in case. Even if things go wrong financially (I assume you’re in a Western country?) there will be systems in place to help in emergencies, you won’t ever find yourself in the streets begging for food or being hungry (I’ve seen it, I’ve lived in a third world country, trust me we will be fine in first world countries).

teaandtalk · 2017-10-18T03:40:11+00:00

It might be worth considering taking a lower-paid part time job to 'keep your hand in' for a few years (so that your work history won't be outdated). This would also help ease the transition into being a housewife, both for you and for family/friends.

Rivkariver · 2017-10-19T13:54:11+00:00

Life is short. Way too short to spend it worrying about the judgment of others.

People can judge you all they want but at the end of the day, are they there for you the way husband is? Are they taking care of you?

Maybe you can make your writing lucrative if you have the time to stay home.

If, God forbid, something should happen to your husband, does he have life insurance?

Title	Stay at home housewife
Author	trinitea
Upvotes	13
Comments	5
Date	October 17, 2017 4:08 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWives
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWives/comments/76zk0q/stay_at_home_housewife/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWives/stay-at-home-housewife.208728 https://theredarchive.com/post/208728