Hello ladies,

I'm a self proclaimed self-help book junkie. I love learning about the human behavior and psychology and am always enthralled by new book recommendations in this regard. So here are some books that I think are good for taming the inner psycho shrew if you are having a bit of trouble. I think that the topics are pretty self explanatory but ultimately, it comes down to understanding what you can and can't control. Please let me know if you have other books that you would add to this list and I can add it along with the link to amazon. FYI there is one audio book in here too and it counts!! I'm looking at you /u/BellaScarletta!

CQ

Single ladies:

The Surrendered Single by: Laura Doyle

This controversial approach to dating has given thousands of single women everything they need to attract romance, intimacy, and a marriage proposal.

Surrendered Single doesn't have to look for Mr. Right -- she attracts him. The principles presented in The Surrendered Single are simple: When you try to control who asks you out and when a man will call, or if you try to corner him into a commitment, you drive him away. When you let him woo you instead, you enjoy the pleasure of being pursued. You feel confident and feminine. Dating becomes fun again. Marriage follows. You stop going it alone.

Practical and compassionate, The Surrendered Single is a step-by-step guide that shows you how to:

  • ASK MEN TO INVITE YOU OUT SO THAT YOU ALWAYS HAVE A DATE

  • AVOID THE REMORSE OF "I WISH I HADN'T SAID..."

  • BECOME YOUR BEST SELF AND ATTRACT GOOD MEN

Whether you're recovering from a breakup or a divorce, are on the dating scene, or want your romance to deepen, The Surrendered Single will bring you the relationship you desire with a man you love -- and who loves you.

He’s Just Not That Into You: The no-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys by Greg Behrendt

“He's just not that into you”

the six little words that changed dating forever

For ages women have come together over coffee, cocktails, or late-night phone chats to analyze the puzzling behavior of men. Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo are here to say that -- despite good intentions -- you're wasting your time. Men are not complicated, although they'd like you to think they are. And there are no mixed messages.

The truth may be he's just not that into you.

Based on a popular episode of Sex and the City, He's Just Not That Into You educates otherwise smart women on how to tell when a guy just doesn't like them enough, so they can stop wasting time making excuses for a dead-end relationship.

Married/LTR ladies:

The Surrendered Wife by: Laura Doyle

A New York Times bestseller, this controversial guide to improving your marriage has transformed thousands of relationships, bringing women romance, harmony, and the intimacy they crave.

Like millions of women, Laura Doyle wanted her marriage to be better. But when she tried to get her husband to be more romantic, helpful, and ambitious, he withdrew—and she was lonely and exhausted from controlling everything. Desperate to be in love with her man again, she decided to stop telling him what to do and how to do it. When Doyle surrendered control, something magical happened. The union she had always dreamed of appeared. The man who had wooed her was back.

The underlying principle of The Surrendered Wife is simple: The control women wield at work and with children must be left at the front door of any marriage. Laura Doyle’s model for matrimony shows women how they can both express their needs and have them met while also respecting their husband’s choices. When they do, they revitalize intimacy.

Compassionate and practical, The Surrendered Wife is a step-by-step guide that teaches women how to:

  • Give up unnecessary control and responsibility

  • Resist the temptation to criticize, belittle, or dismiss their husbands

  • Trust their husbands in every aspect of marriage—from sexual to financial

  • And more.

The Surrendered Wife will show you how to transform a lonely marriage into a passionate union.

Fascinating Womanhood by Helen Andelin

How to Make Your Marriage a Lifelong Love Affair

What makes a woman fascinating to her husband? What is happiness in marriage for a woman? These are just two of the questions Helen B. Andelin answers in the bestselling classic that has already brought new happiness and life to millions of marriages.

Fascinating Womanhood offers timeless wisdom, practical advice, and old-fashioned values to meet the needs and challenges of today’s fascinating woman. Inside you’ll learn:

  • What traits today’s men find irresistible in a woman

  • How to awaken a man’s deepest feelings of love

  • Eight rules for a successful relationship

  • How to rekindle your love life

  • How to bring out the best in your man—and reap the rewards

  • Plus special advice for the working woman—and much more!

Fascinating Womanhood offers guidance for a new generation of women—happy, fulfilled, adored and cherished—who want to rediscover the magic of their own feminine selves.

How to help your husband in his social and business life by Mrs. Dale Carnegie - recommended by /u/SadestLittleGirl

This did not have a good link on Amazon so might I suggest the library :D

Here is a practical guide which really lives up to its title! Everybody knows Dale Carnegie, the man who has shown millions how to win friends and influence people. This book, written by his wife, Dorothy Carnegie, demonstrates on every page that she is equally an authority where women and their interests are concerned. Every wife wants to help her husband get ahead, but few know exactly how to go about it. Here, for the first time, are specific, concrete, easy techniques which any woman can immediately apply to give him an assist up the ladder whether he is an executive, an employee, a doctor, a baker, or a candlestick-maker. This is no ivory-tower book, but a working manual for wives. The rules and suggestions Mrs. Carnegie gives you have been tested and proved in the laboratory of life itself.

Wife Dressing: The Fine Art of Being a Well-Dressed Wife - recommended by /u/SadestLittleGirl

Wife Dressing: The Fine Art of Being a Well-Dressed Wife is a republishing of a fashion classic, with an updated introduction from fashion commentator Rosemary Feitelberg. Fashion icon Anne Fogarty's advice for the style-conscious woman is every bit as witty today as it was when it was originally published in 1959. Feitelberg's additional text contextualizes Fogarty's original concepts, underscoring how Fogarty's observations and expertise still hold true.

How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It by Patricia Love and Steve Stosny

Drs. Patricia Love and Steven Stosny have studied this all-too-familiar dynamic between men and women and have reached a truly shocking conclusion. Even with the best of intentions, talking about your relationship doesn’t bring you together, and it will eventually drive you apart.

The reason for this is that underneath most couples’ fights, there is a biological difference at work. A woman’s vulnerability to fear and anxiety makes her draw closer, while a man’s subtle sensitivity to shame makes him pull away in response. This is why so many married couples fall into the archetypal roles of nagging wife/stonewalling husband, and why improving a marriage can’t happen through words.

How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It teaches couples how to get closer in ways that don’t require “trying to turn a man into a woman.” Rich in stories of couples who have turned their marriages around, and full of practical advice about the behaviors that make and break marriages, this essential guide will help couples find love beyond words.

All ladies

The 5 Languages of Love: The Secret to Love that Lasts by: Gary Chapman

Falling in love is easy. Staying in love—that’s the challenge! How can you keep your relationship fresh and growing amid the demands, conflicts, and just plain boredom of everyday life?

In the #1 New York Times bestseller The 5 Love Languages, you’ll discover the secret that has transformed millions of relationships worldwide. Whether your relationship is flourishing or failing, Dr. Gary Chapman’s proven approach to showing and receiving love will help you experience deeper and richer levels of intimacy with your partner—starting today.

The 5 Love Languages is as practical as it is insightful. Updated to reflect the complexities of relationships today, this new edition reveals intrinsic truths and applies relevant, actionable wisdom in ways that work.

Includes the Couple's Personal Profile assessment so you can discover your love language and that of your loved one.

Being wrong: Adventures in the Margin of Error by Kathryn Schulz

“Both wise and clever, full of fun and surprise about a topic so central to our lives that we almost never even think about it.”

In the tradition of The Wisdom of Crowds and Predictably Irrational comes Being Wrong, an illuminating exploration of what it means to be in error, and why homo sapiens tend to tacitly assume (or loudly insist) that they are right about most everything. Kathryn Schulz, editor of Grist magazine, argues that error is the fundamental human condition and should be celebrated as such. Guiding the reader through the history and psychology of error, from Socrates to Alan Greenspan, Being Wrong will change the way you perceive screw-ups, both of the mammoth and daily variety, forever.

Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff and its all small stuff by Richard Carlson

Don't Sweat the Small Stuff...and It's All Small Stuff is a book that tells you how to keep from letting the little things in life drive you crazy. In thoughtful and insightful language, author Richard Carlson reveals ways to calm down in the midst of your incredibly hurried, stress-filled life.

You can learn to put things into perspective by making the small daily changes Dr. Carlson suggests, including advice such as "Choose your battles wisely"; "Remind yourself that when you die, your 'in' box won't be empty"; and "Make peace with imperfection". With Don't Sweat the Small Stuff... you'll also learn how to:

  • Live in the present moment

  • Let others have the glory at times

  • Lower your tolerance to stress

  • Trust your intuitions

  • Live each day as it might be your last

With gentle, supportive suggestions, Dr. Carlson reveals ways to make your actions more peaceful and caring, with the added benefit of making your life more calm and stress-free.

Codependent No More: How to stop controlling others and start caring for yourself by Melanie Beattie

Is someone else's problem your problem? If, like so many others, you've lost sight of your own life in the drama of tending to someone else's, you may be codependent--and you may find yourself in this book--Codependent No More.

The healing touchstone of millions, this modern classic by one of America's best-loved and most inspirational authors holds the key to understanding codependency and to unlocking its stultifying hold on your life.

With instructive life stories, personal reflections, exercises, and self-tests, Codependent No More is a simple, straightforward, readable map of the perplexing world of codependency--charting the path to freedom and a lifetime of healing, hope, and happiness.

Your Brain on Love : The Neurobiology of Healthy Relationships by Stan Tatkin PsyD, MFT

"Understand your brain, improve your relationships." That's what Stan Tatkin has learned from his leading-edge work as a researcher and couples therapist. In this complete audio learning program, he merges current insights from neurobiology and attachment theory to help us shift out of conflict and into deeper and more loving connections. Listeners first learn to identify attachment styles-the patterns of intimacy that begin in our earliest years-both in ourselves and in those around us. Then Tatkin guides us through his proven principles and practices for building enduring security and commitment between couples, family members, and others that we love.

For Women Only: What You Need to Know about the Inner Lives of Men by Shaunti Feldhahn - recommended by /u/Lin333

What's going on in a man's mind? From their early days, every woman has struggled to understand why males behave the way they do. Even long-married women who think they understand men have only scratched the surface. Beneath a man's rugged exterior is an even more rugged, unmapped terrain. What bestselling author Shaunti Feldhahn's research reveals about the inner lives of men will open women's eyes to what the men in their life - boyfriends, brothers, husbands, and sons - are really thinking and feeling. Men want to be understood, but they're afraid to "freak out" the women they love by confessing what is happening inside their heads. This book will guide women in how to provide the loving support that modern men want and need.

Captivating by John Eldredge - recommended by /u/rwp111528

Every woman was once a little girl. And every little girl holds in her heart her most precious dreams. She longs to be swept up into a romance, to play an irreplaceable role in a great adventure, to be the beauty of the story. Those desires are far more than child's play. They are the secret to the feminine heart.

And yet?how many women do you know who ever find that life? As the years pass by, the heart of a woman gets pushed aside, wounded, buried. She finds no romance except in novels, no adventure except on television, and she doubts very much that she will ever be the Beauty in any tale.

Most women think they have to settle for a life of efficiency and duty, chores, and errands, striving to be the women they "ought" to be but often feeling they have failed. Sadly, too many messages for Christen women add to the pressure. "Do these ten things, and you will be a godly woman." The effect has not been good on the feminine soul.

But her heart is still there. Sometimes when she watches a movie, sometimes in the wee hours of the night, her heart begins to speak again. A thirst rises within her to find the life she was meant to live?the life she dreamed of as a little girl.

The message of Captivating is this: Your heart matters more than anything else in all creation. The desires you had as a little girl and the longings you still feel as a woman are telling you of the life God created you to live. He offers to come now as the Hero of your story, to rescue your heart and release you to live as a fully alive and feminine woman. A woman who is truly captivating.

Leaning more about men:

No More Mr. Nice Guy by Dr.Robert A. Glover

Originally published as an e-book that became a controversial media phenomenon, No More Mr. Nice Guy! landed its author, a certified marriage and family therapist, on The O'Reilly Factor and the Rush Limbaugh radio show. Dr. Robert Glover has dubbed the "Nice Guy Syndrome" trying too hard to please others while neglecting one's own needs, thus causing unhappiness and resentfulness. It's no wonder that unfulfilled Nice Guys lash out in frustration at their loved ones, claims Dr. Glover. He explains how they can stop seeking approval and start getting what they want in life, by presenting the information and tools to help them ensure their needs are met, to express their emotions, to have a satisfying sex life, to embrace their masculinity and form meaningful relationships with other men, and to live up to their creative potential.

Wild at Heart by John Eldredge - recommended by /u/rwp111528

Every man was once a boy. And every little has dreams, big dreams, dreams of being the hero, of beating the bad guys, of doing daring feats and rescuing the damsel in distress. Every little girl has dreams, too: of being rescued by her prince and swept up into a great adventure, knowing that she is the beauty.

But what happens to those dreams when we grow up? Walk into most churches, have a look around, and ask yourself: What is a Christian man? Without listening to what is said, look at what you find there. Most Christian men are . . . bored.

John Eldredge revises and updates his best-selling, renowned Christian classic, Wild at Heart, and in it invites men to recover their masculine heart, defined in the image of a passionate God. And he invites women to discover the secret of a man’s soul and to delight in the strength and wildness men were created to offer. John Eldredge is the director of Ransomed Heart