About to start college as a transfer. I feel my SMV needs my full attention right now, but I also don't want to pass up the opportunity to build rapport with girls. Any advice?

CloakedOrchid · 2014-09-12T05:17:17+00:00

I transferred a few years back, and also at a low point physically, so I'll toss in my opinion:

Do both. Hit the ground running on both sides of the coin. Work with what you have as best you can, but constantly improve what it is you're working with.

Almost every guy with an interest in bodybuilding will know that you're never "good enough," so if you hold off on socializing until you reach that point...you'll never do it.

Not just physically, but in all parts of your life you shouldn't ever just sit back and think, "That's good enough," but you should ALWAYS think, "Let's see what I can get out of what I've already got."

You're tall which is a plus. Stay lean as you bulk, because 10 lean pounds will look way better than 20 lean pounds plus extra fat. By the end of the semester you can be myspace tier "ripped," no problem, with abs and "big" arms (according to girls). Lean = ripped for girls. Never reveal your own size insecurities and they'll treat you like a god. With that being said, bigger will usually be better. A girl might think two guys are both "ripped," but if one has 20 more pounds of lean mass, and it's all in his chest, arms, and back, she'll notice.

If you can fix the acne scars, go for it, but don't sweat it otherwise. Keep in mind that there are hot girls dating uglier guys all over your campus. Instead of being annoyed by that, let it inspire you. "Oh shit, if that guy can get her, who could I get?" is what you should be asking.

For a more social angle: Socialize socialize socialize. Join clubs of a wide variety, and especially ones that don't align with your major. Meet girls from every clique, hang out with all of them, and play them against each other. Every time you see a girl again, you should have a few new stories about what some other girls said or did. I don't mean gossip; I'm talking about getting girl's numbers, getting hit on by girls at parties, etc. Anything that establishes you as attractive and appealing can and should be easily and amusingly inserted into conversation with other girls. If a goofy freshman asks to feel your arm at a party, mention it and laugh about it with other girls. You present it as a joke, but they receive it as evidence that other girls are into you.

As for going to parties, the biggest tool for me has been being very recognizable. If you have a specific "look" that nobody else shares, you quickly become recognized, to the point that random girls will approach you at parties with lines like "I see you all the time blah blah blah."

Final tidbit, and I think this is the biggest one: Go full speed ahead with flirting with every cute girl. Hold nothing back. I used to think "I shouldn't say that," and "Maybe that's too presumptuous," etc., and it held me back. I've gotten to the point that I obviously flirt with every cute girl I talk to, and they eat up every word (definitely helps that you're a junior/senior). To the point that I've gotten numbers from girls with boyfriends even after acknowledging that they had boyfriends. If a girl mentions her guy, just jokingly say "Aw man I guess I've been wasting my time," and then go full speed ahead and act like she's single. Mention to a girl that she's "too pretty/fun/whatever to do [x]" and she'll eat it up; she's heard a thousand times that she's pretty, but just about all thousand of those times were from guys saying, "Wow you're really pretty." Drop it in the middle of a sentence like it's no big deal, and she'll be flattered with none of the aversion you would get had you been direct.

2014-09-12T12:12:20+00:00

Frame will help you with getting to know people.

Brodin with your physique.

think of it as war preps. lift lift lift lift, read read read read.

and a tip for college; it does wonders if you prepare for a course before the semester actually starts. you'll notice it in your final grade, and levels of frustration during the semester.

2014-09-12T14:37:10+00:00

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Lt_Muffintoes · 2014-09-12T08:09:12+00:00

Don't sweat it

Get to know the guys first

gabilromariz · 2014-09-12T08:11:30+00:00

/r/skincareaddiction: its mostly full of girls but it's all solid advice with studies and such backing it up. Often will contradict "common sense" but it works

Consider reading the 4-hour body for all the tips and tricks that will make you look your best.

I'd concentrate more on making friends and being a social guy for now, girls can come or not, I wouldn't worry about it. But being social with both guys and girls, being seen as a friendly guy, it's priceless

wiseclockcounter · 2014-09-12T08:47:06+00:00

But I plan on being 10 lbs heavier by 2015 with a handle on my complexion and I need to lay the social groundwork for my anticipated success to get it's due traction.

Why such a small goal? With your frame you could probably put on 30 lbs in a few months if u just eat properly. For severly underweight guys they can easily put on 30lbs in a single month of dirty bulking.

RedPill115 · 2014-09-12T18:27:58+00:00

I'm not in college any more.

But let's say that with looks, etc, that it's 3 times easier to meet girls.

I'd say it's about 10 times easier to meet girls and make friends in the first several weeks of college than it is the entire rest of college (to be fair, you can make friends with the fresh at the start of the next year as well).

If you're interested in a long term relationship, a girl's freshman year of college is by far the best time to meet her. I met my first girlfriend in my (and her) first semester freshman year of college. Met my longer term friends-with-benefits girl in my junior year (her freshman year).

There is no way I would let the girls comes later. You would have to go from a fat, short, ugly, and abhorently unlikable guy and change into a tall, in shape, social loved movie star in order to get a bigger advantage than simply being around in a girl's freshman year of college.

I have other thoughts, but my post is getting a little long.

The thing is, I'm 21, pretty damn skinny at 142 6'2", and transferring to a new school.

Every successful "player" I know in my local scene is skinny. That is pretty darn skinny, but there's no "need" to put on weight to get girls like there might be if you were very overweight.

oldredder · 2014-09-13T03:07:30+00:00

Vitamin E does wonders for healing skin. For long-term scars I'm not sure but it does no harm. During the healing process my own skin healing goes 2x faster with Vit E rubbed onto the injury.

The rest: Ya, for a good degree don't fuck it up for pussy. If it's a degree people don't tend to get good jobs in (or worse, do now but will not by the time you graduate) the fuck-up is already being enrolled & paid up. I hope you're planning on being a doctor, lawyer, welder or CEO. A lot of sands are shifting where people once thought a base was concrete in the rotating sectors of the economy. It's not just a cyclic rotation now, there's a giant geographic rotation away from North America for a lot of sectors.

Don't forget pure physical attractiveness isn't the only SMV factor women look at. A lot is attitude. Seems counter-intuitive to us men since I can't imagine finding a woman gloriously attractive mostly on personality while ignoring if she's ugly but... men & women just don't feel/think/desire in the same way.

2014-09-12T05:18:51+00:00

3 months of nofap will do wonders for your skin.

jupc · 2014-09-12T06:35:08+00:00

You need to gain weight while lifting in a strength training program (not a bodybuilding program; you need the strength basis first and foremost). Increase food intake and train the Starting Strength method of compound barbell training in a linear progression.

Clean slow weight gain doesn't apply to you at 142. Think 200-215 lbs.

RPGoon · 2014-09-12T18:00:56+00:00

I highly recommend Starting Strength and tracking your food intake with myfitnesspal. I've put on 10lbs in the past twelve weeks (180 -> 190 at 6' tall) and my back has never felt better. You could easily put on 40lbs in 4 months if you keep at it.

jupc · 2014-09-12T04:59:24+00:00

Do I just say fuck it, work on my SMV, and let the bitches come later?

Yes. But do approach.

put on weight as fast as possible.

No. Put on weight as slowly as possible.

I plan on being 10 lbs heavier by 2015.

It's doable. But it won't be clean, it won't be all muscle. If you're a natural 1 lbs/month is a more realistic target. Even that's not going to be 100% lean.