How do you know if your standards are too high or low?

sugarcrush · 2016-07-30T13:15:46+00:00

I would say if you aren't getting any interest from the type of guys you are looking for, you are asking too much (meaning they are "out of your league", although I don't care for that phrase). In that case, you either need to adjust your expectations or work on yourself until you are attracting those men.

It's harder to say how to know if you are settling. I think if you feel like you are settling, then you shouldn't be with that person because that's probably an indicator that you don't truly respect him or feel attracted to him. Personally, when I met my husband and we got together I thought "holy shit how is this amazing guy interested in ME?!?!" I thought (and still think!) he was the most amazingest. So, that's how I would say you know you aren't settling!

As always, I think this story is helpful in narrowing down what you should really be looking for in a potential partner.

TempestTcup · 2016-07-30T13:27:18+00:00

The man should meet or exceed (not too much) what you have to offer. If you are a couch potato, don't expect someone super active and industrious, but if you are super industrious, don't settle for a couch potato. If your SMV is high you are better able to get a man that meets all of your expectations, but then once you get him, you have to up your RMV (relationship market value) to keep him. What do you offer to a relationship?

How do you know you're not settling?

When he not only gives you butterflies in your stomach, but he doesn't have any major red flags, and he can lead you and take charge. Vetting is very important; read Camille's post on vetting, and be sure to make sure he wants the same things from life before you give him your heart.

2016-07-30T14:48:46+00:00

This was a great post by /u/persimmnon that I think you should read. Then read this girl game challenge and see what other people defined as their core relationship values. I think you are looking for you RMV not your SMV but I don't know. It is too early on a Saturday morning to think about these things lol so maybe one of the mods or ecs can clarify the difference for you.

2016-07-30T18:44:04+00:00

Idk I'm of the belief you can have whatever level of standards that you want. So long as you accept that you may or may not get the quantity or quality of options that you may want as a result of your standards.

You should be at peace with your standards. If you're not, adjust and evaluate until you start getting the results you want.

VintageVee · 2016-07-31T15:31:13+00:00

I second all advice received here as yet. And would add that confidence and consistency is key. If you're clearly comfortable with the standards you have, and have belief in them to maintain them (like maintaining girl frame I guess) it's clear to others. My OH has frequently said he's laughed other girls into bed before despite their protestations they wouldn't so soon. But he said he wouldn't have pushed my principles because I had conviction.

Title	How do you know if your standards are too high or low?
Author	munchinggobbles
Upvotes	17
Comments	9
Date	July 30, 2016 11:32 AM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWives
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWives/comments/4vbq97/how_do_you_know_if_your_standards_are_too_high_or/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWives/how-do-you-know-if-your-standards-are-too-high-or.209739 https://theredarchive.com/post/209739