A while back we had a post about being your SO’s soft place to land. We all know that the world of men comes with a lot of stressors. Deadlines. Meetings. Manual Labor. Whatever the case may be, seeing you should not add to those stressors.

To me there are three main components of being The Goddess of Light and Fun (GOLF). Receptivity, Open-Mindedness, and Positivity. I’ll expound of them but what I want to say first is that being a part of your man’s happiness can be fulfilling. In no way shape or form am I telling you to make an ass out of yourself to get a smile out of your man. However, silliness will come into play here.

Receptivity

This great article discusses the immense power that ‘yes’ and ‘no’ have in our actions moment by moment. Some of the choice quotes I found are the following:

“Yes” and “No” are expressions of an intention and a preference.

Often we wind up thinking twenty steps in advance. Your SO might ask a simple question or ask a small request, we are already thinking about how the question made us feel, how we will feel doing the request, how we will feel after answering the question. It is easy to just say no because it is the easier choice. That path we know. However, what you may not know is that that path isolates us from an opportunity to formulate another connection with your SO.

This extends to more prominent requests and actions your SO would like to take. “Honey lets go camping for a week.”. Some of you might jump and say ‘yes’ to this because y’all like that sort of thing. But imagine he asks you to do something you aren’t particularly fond of. “Lets go roller skating in the park” or “Lets eat Indian food tonight”. Saying ‘no’ is absolutely within your right and obviously if it is putting you in harms way then you definitely SHOULD say no. However, if this is an opportunity that has absolutely NO negative consequence when saying “yes”, then I would just say “yes”. Being amenable and being a go with the flow kind of person will always garner more harmony in any relationship dynamic.

The other quote I really like from this article is the following:

There are several reasons why the power of “Yes” and “No” is important. First, we often take this personal power for granted and in the process we often disempower ourselves on a daily basis.

So saying yes or no can be a double edge sword. We often forget the power that it has to forge relationship or diminish them. That one syllable word can chip away at the foundation you have created with your SO. It can also reinforce it. I fully believe that saying ‘yes’ to your partner as much as humanly possible is not only accepting your SO, but you are also accepting that it is not ALWAYS your way. It isn’t always going to be your choice for dinner. It isn’t going to always be your choice at the activity you choose. It isn’t always going to be your dream vacation. It isn’t always going to be your way to decorate the house. Saying yes reinforces that you trust your SO and by doing so opens you up to new possibilities.

Open-Mindedness

As previously mentioned not everything is going to be going your way all the time. That means that you need to start opening up your mind to ideas that you never would have thought of before. That means accepting new places, ideas, things, people into your life that you never would have otherwise thought of before.

All of us carry baggage. With that baggage comes preconceived notions on how things should be done on a day to day basis. Some of those things have basis but most of them do not. I understand that sometimes you want what you want. What I am trying to say is that most of the time we hadn’t considered alternatives .

Just yesterday I suggested to my SO that our next trip be to Hawaii. He said “How about Australia for two week”. Holy CRAP! I hadn’t even thought about taking such an extravagant vacation. I could have said “nah too expensive” I could have said “that flight will be horrendous”. I could have said “I don’t’ think my job would like me leaving for two weeks” even though I know they won’t mind given enough notice. I could have put up a million road blocks to his idea. BECAUSE IT IS THE EASIER PATH. However, I said it was a great idea and lets explore what it would take to make it happen. Which type of response do you think was more open minded? Which one was lighter? Which one would inspire more fun? Opening up yourself to different possibilities that you would never think of yourself creates an air of flexibility around you. You quickly get a reputation with your man of just going with the flow.

Life can take you in many directions. If you remain stubborn like a rock, you never know where the wind might blow you.

Positivity

Finally, the power of yes was described before. However, this needs to bleed not only in being receptive to what you SO says, but also to your general outlook on life and attitudes about your SO. This is where the silliness comes in. A quote from my daily reader:

We can measure our emotional health by how heartily we laugh with others and at ourselves.

Would you like to be this person? I don’t think so. I like to think of my day as in terms of opportunities to have fun.

  • How many did I have?

  • How many did I take?

  • How many did I create?

I am always quick with a joke and quick to laugh at even the stupidest jokes (I love dad jokes). You know why? Smiles are free!!! But the silly doesn’t stop there. I will always look for ways to say ‘yes’ to fun. Want to watch a movie? Yes, only if we are naked. Want to eat some ice cream? Yes, only if I can eat it off your body while we are naked. Haha. I guess my point is that any ‘yes’ can be turned into a fun opportunity to flirt with your SO. Being receptive is always a good opportunity to lighten the moment and the mood and also a good way to inject some more romance which is a huge part of being in a romantic relationship.

Conclusion

  1. Say yes as much as humanly possibly

  2. Keep an open mind to all suggestions

  3. Keep the mood light and flirty

Using these three key components to the GOLF effect, you can be a GOLF.