33 Years of Marriage Wasted

attack_bronson · 2020-09-08T00:37:13+00:00

Can she even come after him for money considering the infidelity?

MrNeverDryDick · 2020-09-08T00:19:00+00:00

Curious. Any RPers that can give an argument FOR marriage? Bc I ain’t seeing shit but fuck all for potential benefits

Think4Yoself · 2020-09-08T04:35:50+00:00

My grandma is the one who Redpilled me more than any other person, article, video, or personal experience.

My grandfather was born so far below the poverty line he couldn't even see it. He was in the Army during Korea and spent the next ~40 years working a manual labor job on the railroad. He placed his family firmly in the middle class through sheer force of will.

When his health started going my grandmother made his life absolute hell. She brought up affairs that he allegedly had 60+ years ago that sound suspiciously like the affairs some in laws were involved with even claiming that my dad has a bastard sibling out there somewhere. Nobody has ever confirmed the affair or found the alleged sibling. She even complained about the cost of the assisted living facility he was moved into after a hospitalization where he lived until the end.

After he passed, my father and both his sisters gave eulogies at his service. After we left my grandmother rode with my family to a big lunch for people who attended the service. We stopped on the way and my parents weren't in the car only my brother and I. Then we hear, completely unprovoked "I don't know who that great man was they were talking about. I don't know any man like that." That was the moment that pushed me over the edge. My grandmother never worked a day in her life. Everything she has, he provided. Everything.

Guess who lives in that assisted living facility that was too damn expensive for my grandfather now?

YogiTy1988 · 2020-09-08T02:47:47+00:00

How can that be if she was the one who cheated? That’s absolutely bollocks that this bitch can cheat and still get what she’s asking for.

A former coworker of mine has to pay his ex wife $1100 every two weeks. He’s been paying her for over 8 years now and he always mentions how 5 days of his life every week are spent making money for his ex wife. Nuts.

GayLubeOil · 2020-09-08T06:16:30+00:00

I think you are missing the larger more important point that all of the legal incentives that contributed to the end of this marriage were created on purpose by think tanks like the Rand Corporation, to destroy the nuclear family and replace it with the state.

Effectively what you have is a weapon in the form of a legal instrument placed in the hands of every married woman, by a state which wants to abolish fathers and husband's authority over their wives and families.

FeniZio94 · 2020-09-08T01:06:20+00:00

I’m currently seeing a MILF that was married for a similar time

She “suddenly grew up to be a different person” and the “wholesome mother” is having a midlife crisis moment lol

Always gotta vet properly.... because you never know when these hoes will cash in

TeddyMGTOW · 2020-09-08T01:34:39+00:00

The guy is gonna get a financial "hair cut "

But he still needs to hire a lawyer.

And yes, if your on the TRP forum marriage is a scam.

NabroleonBonaparte · 2020-09-08T01:42:06+00:00

Question: how wealthy is the guy from the affair?

She’s probably trying to grab as much cash on the way out as possible because the affair partner is strictly Alpha Fux material with no money.

She’s trying to get her Ex-husband to fund her monkey-branch sport fuck. Affair partner could possibly be persuading her because he’s trying to cash out off her.

throwitdownman · 2020-09-08T03:50:33+00:00

Women are suppressed. Just kidding. Also, isn’t the richest woman in the world is Jeff Bezo’s divorced wife?

I can’t see how divorce law is fair. Think about how much Jeff Bezos’ wife was rewarded for simply existing. What she ‘did’ was ridiculously disproportionate to the rewards she got.

Riddick_ · 2020-09-08T08:46:26+00:00

Dr. Dre's wife of 25 years is divorcing him just about now. Asking for 2 million a MONTH! 2 Mil a month ... that's over 50K per day. To be precise 66666 dollars / day. And she's probably gonna get it. Maybe not 2 mil, but 1 mil. / month after lawyers dance him around the court for a bit. Think about it.

saruin · 2020-09-08T01:50:19+00:00

[deleted]

ChrimsonChin988 · 2020-09-08T10:31:42+00:00

Marriage is a fantasy for naive child-men/women.

To believe the 'together forever' narrative proves that you've never looked at reality ONCE. People die, people cheat, people lose their jobs etc etc. There is not a single thing you can hold onto 'forever'. Everything that has a beginning has a middle and an end. Stop living like an android and copying blindly shit see, think and observe for yourself and only be content with conclusions you can't seem to 'knock over'.

Marriage is nothing more than making promises you can't possibly know for sure you can keep, which of course, is really fucking dumb. But some (most) people rather live in fantasy world. Just wait until reality hits you in the fucking mouth, if you're lucky you wake up the first time.

SavvyVolley6 · 2020-09-08T03:31:01+00:00

The only way is no way, gents. Never sign a contract with a woman.

VasiliyZaitzev · 2020-09-08T06:52:17+00:00

Plus she wants a portion of the father's retirement, which would cost a massive fee because he is not retirement age yet.

That should not incur a fee for early withdrawal, as it will be the subject of a QDRO - a "qualified domestic relations order." That's the simple explanation - there is some technical ERISA bullshit involved - but if we're talking 401k and (usually) IRA, then yeah.

Ofc, he will get screwed out of half of it, plus or minus.

SteveSan82 · 2020-09-08T07:16:04+00:00

Women don’t really have beliefs. They just use church to meet men and network

macrian · 2020-09-08T02:06:33+00:00

[deleted]

GoFuclcYourself · 2020-09-08T06:13:42+00:00

This is why:

Rule 1: NO MARRIAGE

Rule 2: If you break rule 1 ALWAYS get a prenup signed and notarized. If she refuses kick her to the curb to ruin some other mans life.

sgtm7 · 2020-09-08T07:57:29+00:00

Depends on the state(or the country) you are married in. I have been married more than once. Until the last marriage, I didn't have anything to take. For my last marriage, all my property was owned before marriage, so wasn't considered marital property in my state. My last wife only got what I chose to give her(which was the mini-van). My state, also doesn't award alimony unless the spouse is mentally or physically incapable of working and earning enough to take care of themselves. In fact, until the late 90s, they didn't have alimony at all.

So deciding whether to get married or not, can definitely be influenced by your age, situation in life, and location. I haven't lived in the USA since 2007, and if I ever get married again, it won't be in the USA. It will be in one of the countries I have lived in since I started working overseas, that don't have the punitive divorce laws(punitive towards men) that the US has.

Thoth_X · 2020-09-08T12:23:37+00:00

The woman men see when marrying is never the same as the woman men see in divorce court. Its still the same woman though.

SlickBlackCadillac · 2020-09-08T16:54:55+00:00

If a bitch did that to me I would kill her. This is why I'm not getting married

DKN3 · 2020-09-08T03:31:17+00:00

I will make a hex on that bitch, remind me in 15-30 days, mark my fucking words

pigs1n5p4c3 · 2020-09-08T21:24:08+00:00

As a guy that was married 19 years and wound up paying approximately 500k over the next 10 YEARS in settlement of assets and child support TO A WOMAN THAT WAS PORKING A NEIGHBOR embrace this shit. Do not marry. Do not cohabitate in a common law area. Protect yourself. You can get a vasectomy for less than the cost of one months child support for one child. It is what it is.

CochinoChingon · 2020-09-12T09:42:42+00:00

Reminds me of a friend of my father's, though he went scorched Earth.

In the early/mid 90s a homeless guy would come to our house and have dinner with us, when he left he'd take two large trash bags full of aluminum cans. I asked my father when he made friends with a homeless man. He said, "I didn't, I'm friends with a NASA engineer"

I was confused, and I asked him, ok, why are you friends with a homeless NASA engineer. He asked if I remember "that broad" that brought her boyfriend to the garage one day.

It was fuzzy but I did recall year back a female coming to my father's garage with a younger guy. She came over, young guy in tow and demanded that {NASA guy} come out, "whatever you have to say to me you can say it in front of them"

Broad "I'm taking you back to court in 6 weeks, I heard you got a raise and you're gonna buy (boyfriend's name I don't recall) a new Harley so he can take me out on rides."

after a very long and uncomfortable pause

NASA "OK"

Broad .... "Well ok then" she leaves.

OK, so what about NASA guy? My father then tells me that the next day he put in his two weeks notice, NASA offered him more money, he turned it down. Then sold EVERYTHING he owned and what didn't sell went in the trash or Goodwill. The guy bought a 4 Plex property, put it in my father's name, set up college funds for his kids and walked off into the sunset.

The money from the 4 Plex is what/how the college fund was funded. My father was allowed to keep the cost for himself for "setting it up" he never went into detail of what it entailed.

Is 2009 I found out that the guy moved into one of the units of the 4 Plex. The property is still in my father's name (even though he passed away in 2011) and now the guy is collecting the money. He still owes the wife back alimony, (he only paid child support) and since he hasn't had a job since the late 80s there's no way to garnish his wages.

vrsatillx · 2020-09-08T07:56:47+00:00

When I read shit like this it makes me realise how lucky I am to know these things at age 21. If I learned it only after having waste 33 years of my life I would probably kill myself

Rakosnik · 2020-09-08T07:54:30+00:00

no single pussy is worth it

Neutral_User_Name · 2020-09-08T10:16:20+00:00

Marriage became a sham in the 1960's, with the advent of a) the Pill, who shifted towards women most of power with regards to reproduction (which I am fine with, more details below) and b) the nanny state, who de facto became the garranteed back-up husband / provider, which allowed women to jeopordize the most important contract of our society, marriage, with little to no consequences.

As mentioned above, those 2 developement marked a significant shift in power towards women, which we have no choice but to recognize as a "fait accompli", in our civilized society.

However, the problem arose when no efforts (as for all intents, zero) have been made to modify the dynamics of powers in the most important contract of society, which afforded women the possibility to firmly latch on to the one of two tits of their choosing, either the husband or the state, with 100% reliability for the latter.

That's precisely why the "most important institution of society" is 100% doomed to irrelevancy in the long term, as in its current form, it overly advantages women, with little or nothing to gain in it for men. The trend has already been set since the beginning of the 1980's and there is seemingly nothing to stop it. Men are starting to wise up by not engaging in this raw deal, and women are coming to accept the situation, as they they can faithfully count on the most reliable tit in human history: the State.

The only way marriage could stay as an institution, is if there was a redistribution of power in that contract that prevented men (mostly) from being divorce-raped.

HologramEventHorizon · 2020-09-08T20:00:12+00:00

Many, many misconceptions on this page. I practice family law in Virginia, so my comments will be state-specific - so check your own state laws for specifics.

First misconception. "No-fault" means that the offending spouse takes half the property and gets support. Not true. "No fault" means that you can get THE DIVORCE without having to prove fault - you have to prove simply a period of separation. Fault (cruelty, desertion, adultery) does not come into play in getting the marriage terminated. But that does not mean fault is not considered in support matters and property division.

Second misconception: Judges, in determining spousal support and equitable distribution (division of property), are specifically directed by statute to consider the fault of adultery. Virginia has the "adultery bar"; that is, if a spouse is guilty of adultery, then the offending spouse is BARRED from receiving spousal support. I have represented women in LONG TERM marriages (20 years or more) who stayed home at the behest of the husband to take care of the home/kids; and then be barred from receiving spousal support because husband proved that she committed adultery. The only way to overcome the bar is to prove that barring spousal support would constitute a "manifest injustice," considering the respective degrees of fault and the economic disparities between the parties. So, adultery can have catastrophic consequences for an offending spouse seeking spousal support.

Third misconception: adultery does not affect property division. Virginia is an equitable distribution state, not a community property state. CP states are COMPLETELY different. In Virginia, fault by an offending spouse (particularly the fault of adultery) is one of 13 factors that the judge can take into account in fashioning an equitable distribution award. In the situation presented here, while I doubt the wife's adultery would keep her from getting SOME equitable distribution award, the judge would take it into account in determining what percentage of marital property (35% or 40% down from 50%) the wife would get. The judge would also be solicitous of husband's pension.

In my practice, the bottom line is this. Divorce statutes and the appellate courts do their best to lay down as many rules as possible, but, in the end, in a divorce case, SO MUCH is left up to the judge's discretion that it s a scary proposition to litigate. On the same set of facts, some judge greatly perturbed by adultery would hammer the offending spouse; while other judges would be much more lenient in their spousal support and equitable distribution awards.

There is only ONE WAY to eliminate the financial uncertainty that a divorce might bring: GET A PRENUP.

One final comment: this article says this is what the wife is ASKING for. I always tell my clients when they ask if they will get support: "Spousal support is like a blowjob. You can ask for it all day long. Doesn't mean you're gonna get it."

TripleMaxor2 · 2020-09-08T09:19:47+00:00

Females man, never trust them more than you have to. Doesn't matter how kind and generous or hardworking you are for them, they still cheat and in a heartbeat with no remorse or regrets. Marriage my as*.

disgruntledearthling · 2020-09-08T13:49:45+00:00

I was common-law for 28 years. No infidelity but no sex either. So glad to have gotten out. Now I spend my time fucking 20yos for fun

Domebeers · 2020-09-08T14:54:00+00:00

if you are not able to give your woman the pimp hand, marriage is not for you

mgtowthroww · 2020-09-09T02:13:19+00:00

The guy is lucky she didn't walk into a police station and claim rape. Many wives claim rape against their husbands. That way the get "exclusive possession of the matrimonial house". Yup. Happened to me.

MattyAnon · 2020-09-09T11:32:28+00:00

Fucked up on so many levels. If there was any doubt in my mind before, I am now fully convinced that marriage is a sham.

Marriage is not a sham, it fulfills its purpose perfectly: to make men provide financial security to women.

geozstevenzz · 2020-09-08T10:13:35+00:00

The solution seems simple here. Refuse to sign the divorce papers. Can't pay if ur not divorced

Sizzlecheeks · 2020-09-08T14:32:39+00:00

So the law literally rewards her for infidelity.

DonJuan_69 · 2020-09-08T16:05:11+00:00

The sad part is that prenups dont even work anymore. Most judges just rip the prenup in half right infront of ya

voomer53 · 2020-09-09T10:11:16+00:00

You want a real horror story google Chanin Denice Starbuck...this princess had children by other men that she was passing off as her husband's, then making him pay support for them after she divorced him, of course all the time with her riding the CC bigtime. All her sexual transgressions were inadmissible in court.

throwlaja · 2020-09-09T20:23:07+00:00

33 years of marriage wasted

It's not wasted. It's like when you sell an old car, you didn't "waste" 10 years of your old car. You enjoyed it, now its time to switch to a newer model.

This is like selling an old car except you have to pay for it to go away.

zino193 · 2020-09-08T06:05:50+00:00

RIP Chaddington - he thought he was just getting some easy puss and now he has a live in divorcee.

_Zaacki_ · 2020-09-08T06:43:46+00:00

Well, if I hadn't ruled out marriage as a possibility before, I sure as hell have now....

dkod066 · 2020-09-08T07:45:04+00:00

I will never ever marry someone without a prenup.

_that_dam_baka_ · 2020-09-08T08:50:00+00:00

Sorry if I sound like an idiot but would this happen if they both made the same about of money or if she made more money? I know that if a couple lives traditionally (husband works; wife stays home) the husband has to pay up so the wife can have the same lifestyle after the divorce

justgotalpha · 2020-09-08T13:51:38+00:00

Guys you shouldn’t get married in the FIRST PLACE.. a lot of you have the mentality of a prenup and yall gotta understand in most cases it does not even matter, all she gotta say is she was preassured and if she really wants that divorce plus money she can acuse you of domestic violence ... theres no way to win ... marriage is for TOP TIER ALPHA MALES WHO CAN MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK! and even them get fucked over ... protrct your assets my friend and dont let your beta self come out

TengaBrothers · 2020-09-08T14:01:45+00:00

And you are surprised because ? Nothing new to see here

DarthEversus · 2020-09-08T14:04:03+00:00

If a woman ever tried to do this to me, I would put a bullet in her head. Rather spend the rest of my days in prison that working to pay some unfaithful bitch off.

diejager · 2020-09-08T14:40:47+00:00

Conservative, traditional, Catholic family.

I think this kind of person is the most prone to cheat: since their community values a lot of hard values, saying that you are feeling one (ex: cheating) makes you being scolded by them, creating a situation in which either you create the thrill of a forbidden thing ("oohhh, I can't cheat, that's so exciting!") or a previous feeling go stacking each other until the person cheats (for instance, she sees another guy and finds he interesting, but since longing with him is the same as cheating for Christians, this leads to the thrill and them the cheat).

My opinions aside, this is an outlier case. This woman is in her (just do the math, if they married at 18, she is 51, if it was 22~23 she is 55~56). That thing that we believe on the sidebar in which women feels the ticking clock of their ovaries and want to secure the best genes is long gone: women reach menopause late 40's, early 50's and probably that's her case. Based on that we can tell one of two things: or I'm wrong and this woman is seeing a 30ish Chad (who will dump her eventualy) or this woman does not feel safe with her husband for the next stage of life (elderly) and looked for a guy of the same age to feel safe for it.

Can OP provide more info on the last paragraph?

albino_red_head · 2020-09-08T16:10:45+00:00

She wants money for half of the family's property (worth about $400k, so she would get ~ $200k). Plus she wants a portion of the father's retirement,

Let us pray to the TRP gods that this gets shot down quick.

Wilson-AOL · 2020-09-08T17:01:35+00:00

So, even tho 3 decades passed since that damn ring was put on her finger, she still chooses to "demolish the house" because of... some kind of chad?

Can't say it is a bad marriage since they have a house, raised 4 normal and healthy kids and God knows what other properties they have. It is a successful one to be honest.

Feelsbadman

garfield6969 · 2020-09-08T17:25:42+00:00

If the situation reverse, all women will say the guy is a dick and asshole. Double standard at its worse. I knew a couple married for almost 26 yrs. Asian traditional wife, husband hard working , caring and supportive. But wife cheated on husband with a loser that has no money, no career, living in a garage. Sad part is she did it with the loser on their bed when the husband away on business trip. Now she gets half of the house worth more than 80k. And she doesn't think she did anything wrong. So guys, don't get the idea that if you work hard, supportive, loving and caring, well- established, your wife won't cheat on you. Always be prepare. How good you treat the lady and how well you work hard to provide for the woman doesn't mean anything .

Vancopime · 2020-09-08T17:51:18+00:00

Just trying to learn from this... so doesn’t this mean that if you’re going to be married, it’s actually better to see an experienced divorce lawyer worth their dime to help you establish a prenup that in the case of a divorce, would best protect you. Sure your spouse might not like it but you gotta take care of #1 first. What do y’all think?

Izalias · 2020-09-08T18:46:48+00:00

What ever happened to: Adulterers get nothing.

MrDinkles7767 · 2020-09-08T18:48:12+00:00

He needs to go dirty on this bitch in the divorce proceedings. “Remaining stoic@ is one thing. Being an all-day sucker and letting some cheating whore take everything you have worked for without a fight is another.

2020-09-08T19:16:35+00:00

Dude sounds like a simp. How the fuck can you be married for that long and not know your wife has been creeping on you for years while also having the character of a sucubitch???

How unaware can you be for christ sakes...

dopexile · 2020-09-08T19:30:38+00:00

Work it off means work until you drop dead to pay her off.

She isn't going to get married to the boyfriend because she can collect alimony and pension payments as long as she stays unmarried. That is how you know marriage is a sham, women want to force marriage when it benefits them and they want to avoid marriage when it is not in their own self interest.

thesatellite23 · 2020-09-08T19:46:16+00:00

Interesting thing I'd like to ask in this discussion

This couple https://youtu.be/x0ix30SJlVk where the guy is disabled just got married. How long do you think they'll last? Why does she accept this?

razeus · 2020-09-08T20:32:00+00:00

Marriage is a no win situation for a man and women fucking know it.

The world we live in is one that a woman can cheat all she wants and she still gets half the assets, child support, and spousal support.

Woman clearly understand they are no consequences for their actions. None. That's fucking bullshit.

jck73 · 2020-09-08T21:01:53+00:00

Men bear the brunt of the risk in marriage. Period.

meerita · 2020-09-08T21:49:15+00:00

I will never marry anyone, not even the hottest 21 year old girl.

thetotalpackage7 · 2020-09-09T18:05:44+00:00

FYI pursuant to a judge ordered divorce decree, you can divest a percentage of a retirement vehicle to the cunt spouse without penalty.

Jdaddynowison · 2020-09-10T22:36:44+00:00

I hope that woman gets what's coming to her.

scissor_me_timbers00 · 2020-09-12T01:00:56+00:00

Well, modern marriage is a sham. Marriage itself is essential for civilization, but the traditionalist legal frameworks necessary to keep the institution of marriage honest and stable have been eroded because of how blue pill shit has gotten.

Lambdal7 · 2020-10-04T13:10:07+00:00

It’s not so unreasonable.

For 30 years of raising the kids, that’s $7k a year. Considering 30h/week spent on raising the kids more than the dad that’s 1,800h/year at a wage of $3.

$200k is a pretty good deal. Had he been single and had a nanny, it would have been double that.

There is a point to divorce settlement, it’s not always fair of course, but in this case it seems to be adequately fair.

ogpine0325 · 2020-09-08T09:13:23+00:00

$400k? Married for 30 years and all this fucker could muster was $400k? Bad at life, bad at women. Dude had it coming

Title	33 Years of Marriage Wasted
Author	thesatellite23
Upvotes	856
Comments	339
Date	September 8, 2020 12:12 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/iojash/33_years_of_marriage_wasted/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/33-years-of-marriage-wasted.212626 https://theredarchive.com/post/212626