For a long time I've been obsessing about women. Literally obsessing. I was a virgin and one day I decided to lose it to an hooker. I don't regret that at all. That made me realise many things, even though after 1-2 weeks the scarcity mindset returned.

I realised I've been measuring my success by women and not by my achievements. Really, really bad move. My self-esteem was dependent on women.

After realising this, I began understanding how I was lacking a mission. I had some goals here and there but they weren't real precise goals. And it wasn't a definite mission. It was really an abstract concept.

I thought I was on my mission, but actually..I wasn't? My thoughts were still focused on women, so something was wrong.

Only once I started asking myself what I truly wanted out of life I found the answer. I realised I was wasting my mental energy on women instead of creating something valuable and changing the world. What a waste.

I also understood women mean nothing and they are just a distraction. My mistake was making them my mission, literally. Those years were the most depressing years of my life, indeed. Everytime a girl rejected me, I was closer to suicide. At least I was using that depression to lift heavy weights.

I've read ton of TRP theory and honestly I reached a point where it was an addiction and was filling my head with information every day. But what I was not realising is that reading and internalizing are two different things. My conscious mind knew the theory, but my subconscious wasn't really changing. It wasn't until I was directing my actions towards my goals and looking inward, not outward. I then understood I was the prize and that women shouldn't have such power over my thoughts and emotions.

After a while, I also realised that 99% of the guys here who ask "what do I text her?" "how to reply?" and some other shit that's literally irrelevant in the grand scheme of things completely missed the key point of trp, hence "focus on your mission". Once I truly found my mission, all these little things became meaningless to me. I seriously do not care anymore about getting that or that other girl. I found something which can bring me more fullfilment than women ever can. This might sound like a simple rationalization, and I'm not denying it, it could. But what matters is that finding an higher mission really served to switch my focus on something that's under my control, instead of focusing on something fleeting, like women.

My question is, do you believe you should even care about getting women when you don't have higher meaning in life? When you don't have nothing else to focus your thoughts and emotions on? Like in the last months I used to go out with the only purpose of approaching women, and that shit made me extremely outcome independent. As I said, I was approaching women and rejections were burning me inside. They were in my thoughts 24/7 for how beta that may sound.