I just found this sub; please, if this is inappropriate, please let me know.
I've always considered myself a feminist. It's the way I was raised. My mom has always been very independent, and encouraged my sisters and me to be the same way. I'm a veteran and a police officer, and I've never been in the habit of wanting anything from anyone, let alone from men.
The problem is that I'm miserable. I look at my mom, who's been married 3 times, and I don't want that for myself. I want what my grandmother has instead. She and my grandfather have been together since 1962, and they still love each other like they need oxygen.
The issue is that they have a very traditional marriage, and until recently, I never thought of myself as someone who could be happy like that. My grandmother takes care of the house and has never worked, and while my grandfather is pretty laid back, when he does put his foot down, she listens.
I'm not saying I want to give up my job, which I love, or that I want to be bossed around all the time -- but I don't want to end up like my mom, all alone (2 divorces, and her 3rd husband recently died of cancer) and in my 50s.
You guys all seem really happy in more traditional relationships, and I can see the appeal, despite my upbringing. The last thing I want is a man I can dominate. I've dated men like that in the past, and it's not only boring, but I felt zero physical attraction.
How do I go about finding the right kind of man? I want a partner to lead me by the hand, not a boss who orders me around all the time. I need someone who won't be intimidated by my job, or by the fact that I can probably kick his ass (not that I ever would). My height doesn't help either (6'1").
Edit: Wow! You ladies are awesome! I've read so much good advice and so many good ideas that I can't actually respond to each one. I just want to say that I really appreciate how kind you've been and the obvious thought you've all put into your responses.
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