I recently created a response in another thread and so many men were asking me to expand on my writeup by making it its own post that I finally did. Here that writeup in a nutshell:

I'm a decent looking 6'3" guy who hasn't had any success with women for most of my life. It's not that I never tried approaching, it's just that rejection hit me so hard that after a single bad experience I would give up. That was me for my entire twenties, plus countless horrible experiences on dating apps.

Recently, I decided to say fuck it and just FORCE myself to do it. I moved to a heavily populated area and started approaching bitches like crazy. Most of the time rejections, and I'm not going to lie, a lot of them really hurt, but I kept going.

Men have to understand that it is built into women's DNA to be approached by men, and that's essentially the same for all mammals. Hundreds of millions of years of biological engineering that their role is to look pretty and the male's role is to fucking come up to them and talk to them. You can see this in action with any mammalian species. Watch some pickup videos, or hell even better, try it yourself. The first thing a woman will do when you approach her, assuming you've stated your intentions correctly, is look you up and down. She's sizing you up. Her female monkey brain has kicked in and now she's deciding whether she's attracted to you. And that's what approaching ultimately boils down to. You are *ACTIVATING* a part of the female brain that they simply have no control over. You're turning something on inside of her that she rarely, if ever gets to feel. The approach experience, if done correctly, puts her in a kind of instinctual trance that appeals to her most base nature and emotions.

Most women have no idea that they want this. Many women in the Millennial generation and younger would tell you that they dislike men approaching them, it's creepy, unnatural, "I just want to exist in the world without being a sex object" blah blah blah.

And yet, they are so dissatisfied with dating apps. So dissatisfied with virtual connections and artificial attraction. They keep asking, "Where have all the real men gone?" "What's with the pussification of society?" When they ask these questions, they don't even know what they mean, all they know is that some integral part of the dating/mating process is missing, and that no matter how many Tinder guys they fuck, they're not getting that "hole" filled.

The approach is an integral part of the mating process. They are designed for it. They need it. You are doing yourself and everyone else a disservice by trying to game the dating market virtually and artificially.

Since COVID, approaching has been much harder. I recently took my friend who was visiting from several states away to show him how to do it. I had such little investment in it because I was only showing him how to approach, and therefore couldn't care less about rejection. I couldn't get this guy to approach any women. I was surprised at how difficult it was for him after having done it so many times myself in the past year.

Then, I spotted a woman with the biggest ass I've ever seen, I approached her, scored her number, and now we're dating. She had a mask on, I didn't give a shit. He went home empty handed.

Point is, just like anything in life, no risk = no reward. The lower the risk, the less satisfying the outcome. That goes for attracting women as well. You want to use low risk bullshit dating apps? Okay, you'll get a reward based on your level of investment. You want to approach a woman and ask her for the time instead of telling her that she's the hottest bitch you've ever seen? You can expect an outcome based on the level of risk you've invested.

Do yourself a favor and take some fucking risks.

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That was the original post, so I'll expand a little bit. Like most things in life, the higher the risk involved, the more potential for reward. For awhile, there was a debate in the PUA community about whether to use the direct or indirect approach on women. For reference, the direct approach is exactly what it sounds like: Approaching a woman and stating your direct intentions, and that can be as blatant as you like (I want to fuck you). The indirect approach is approaching a woman by making up some bullshit excuse about why you're there, and slowly creating attraction usually through some kind of ridiculous script or set of guidelines on how to create interest (read some of Roosh V's stuff, like Day Game for examples of this). For a time, these two camps debated about which was the best approach. I think at this point it's obvious that the direct approach has been far more successful.

When calculating risk vs. reward you have to think about it like this: When approaching a woman, if you do it indirectly and ask for the time, there are almost no stakes. She can't really reject you because you didn't invest anything. If you ask what time it is and she tells you she has a boyfriend, it's she who looks like a bitch, not you. Even if she knows why you're really there (and a lot of women do), according to the rules of social convention you can simply play dumb and she'll look like a fucking Karen.

Alternatively, if you approach a woman and tell her that you want to fuck her, you're taking an extreme risk and investing a lot. You're breaching the unwritten rules of social convention that frown on that sort of thing. So what's the benefit of taking such a risk? Because if it works, it really works. Walking up to a random hot chick and telling her you want to fuck her (which by the way, I would never recommend you do) would create extreme attraction *IF* she were interested. It would lead to sex almost immediately because you started the relationship with such confidence and direct masculine energy.

So those are the two extremes of the cold approach: Insanely indirect by making some bullshit excuse to talk to her and ridiculously direct by telling her exactly what you want. Both of these approaches are usually not going to work for a simple reason, they're too extreme. Yes, a risk can be too high of a risk. Of course if it pays of the reward is incredible, but the chance of it failing is too high to justify the costs.

If you simply approach a woman and tell her that she's beautiful, or that you saw her from across the way and had to come talk to her, it's a good amount of risk, but a much higher chance of success in terms of getting her number.

What you want when approaching women, as with all things in life, is to take a calculated risk. If using an indirect approach, you're taking almost no risk at all because you're not investing at all. However, if using a direct approach, you must decide how much investment you want to reveal, and thus how high of a risk you're willing to take. Something that's relatively low risk, but still a direct approach is simply walking up to her and saying, "Hi! I'm whoever." You've expressed interest in the sense that you're talking to her and you're not making bullshit excuses to be there. An approach that's relatively high risk, but still within the margins of reasonable is to approach and tell her that some feature of her body made her want to speak to her. These kinds of compliments are tailored to the woman and thus are generally received with more flattery than the generic "you're beautiful", but have a higher chance of backfiring. Again, we have the risk vs. reward dynamic presenting itself in all its glory.

One final thing I have to explain is why taking risks is important in the first place. Because your ultimate goal with women is to make them feel something. Never forget that. Women are emotional creatures, they need to feel vibrant emotions. The more risks you take, the more you make them feel. It's as simple as that. Making a woman feel something is not a guarantee that she'll go home with you (she could feel abject terror after all), but making her feel nothing is a guarantee that she won't. If you use an indirect approach on her, she's not going to feel anything. You invested nothing, you took no risks, and you played it so safe that she will forget you ever existed. This is why good men and "nice guys" fail and why the bad boys always win. Because bad boys take risks, and risks make women wet.

One person asked me how to "activate" a woman's monkey brain to begin the attraction process when you approach. That's simple, you tell her why you're fucking there. That's all there is to it.

I could keep going but this post is already so long as it is. Look guys, there are veterans and professionals that are way better at this artform than I am, and so I will recommend the best advice I have found so far that I'm confident will help you as well.

James Marshall is a cold approaching god. Absorb as much stuff of his as you possibly can. Please watch this video first, it may change your life.

Models by Mark Manson. This is widely considered the holy grail of dating and seduction advice. If you haven't read this book yet, you're shooting yourself in the foot. Go read it.

Atomic Attraction by Christopher Canwell. Amazing book that goes into the scientific evidence of seduction and the psychology of women. Please read this too, it will change your life. He also has a Youtube channel with plenty of useful content called Develop Attraction.

Finally, subscribe to as many Redpill Youtube channels as you can possibly find. Some of my favorites are Strong Successful Male, Darius M, Donovan Sharpe, Rich Cooper, and Rollo Tomassi. This stuff needs to be your life. IMMERSE yourself in it. You've got beta blue pill programming and you need to be bombarded with the correct way of thinking as much as possible, whenever possible, from every direction of your consciousness. Red pill is not a behavior, it's not a lifestyle, it's an identity. If your identity has not changed, you are still blue pill.

On a final note: If you really want success with the attraction and seduction process, you need to fully invest yourself into it. Either fully invest and make a commitment to yourself to grow and take risks, or give up now and stop wasting your time. And I don't mean that as an insult. Men who can't fully invest themselves into this for whatever reason probably need to find a different hobby. Either go ham or go home.