I pretty much screw up every first date I have by being a non sexual gentleman. I meet the girl at a place like a coffee shop, make small talk, go to a restaurant or sushi place, have an appetizer and some drinks, continue small talk, and then end the date with a hug. Basically I do things the old fashioned way by the book for a first date, and never get anything except a 30-70 dollar bill and some awkward company for 2 hours.

Now it doesn't take a rocket scientist to see what I'm doing wrong. I need to be touching more, creating more sexual tension, making her laugh more, and just get more EMOTIONS flowing. The problem is that there is a big difference between KNOWING and DOING.

It's like if you train martial arts and end up in a cage fight, a lot of times your instincts just take over and your training goes out the window. It's hard to do what you know you need to do unless you practice over and over and over and force yourself into these situations repeatedly.

Right now I'm at the point where I know red pill stuff, but keep doing blue pill stuff and screwing up. I find it very hard to show affection, and be touchy feely on a first date. I just feel so awkward. I have noticed that every time I get laid its because the GIRL is touchy feely and is being the aggressor and I just go with it. I have trouble forcing myself to be, especially if im only moderately attracted to the girl and I dont find her drop dead gorgeous. There are some cases where if I find the girl gorgeous, and my anxiety isnt too high, I do become very aggressive and I usually have success here. But usually either Im not attracted enough to be touchy feely, or im attracted but there might be anxiety.

I also fail to ask for a second date while on the first date, and never text or call them again figuring they will contact me if interested. I could use some big advice for first dates from people who are successful in developing friends with benefits, or relationships, easily from first dates. Thanks!