wall of text ahead.

So a bit of preface: me and my gf have been together for 9 years, not married (both of us don't want) we have 1 son that is 2 and the second one will be born in 3 weeks.

moving to a new country on my own made me realize how much of a pussy i am. I am afraid to take risks, I have every single 'nice guy" trait it mentions in NMMNG. After reading it, I started applying many changes and started improving myself. I have a long way to go but i'll get there in one way or the other.

i'm Italian (super emotional) and she's Austrian (direct and not emotional at all)

i'll spare all the details but one of the main things i apply when coming home is always trying to be as positive as possible. Before i was grumpy and angry and me and my girlfriend would fight on a regular basis, it got bad when we did that infront of my kid and he didn't take it well at all and it was my wake up call.

I put a stop to it completely and have not since escalated anything she says even if she knows exactly how to push my buttons. i'm not doing it for her, i'm doing it for me primarily and for my son.

My son is usually a calm child, does not go over board but he's still 2 and likes to run around and requires a lot of attention. comparing him to many 2 years olds, he's a saint. he doesn't take afternoon naps so my girlfriend is with him (while i work) from when he wakes up to the evening when i come home from work.

I then take over and play with him, brush his teeth, give him a bath when needed, etc etc. if he lets me, he spends most of his time with momma so it's mostly momma wins over pappa. not an issue.

because she's tired from being pregnant she always grumpy / tired from running after him the whole day.

I try to DARE as much as possible but she knows i'm reading some books, i simply told her self improvement books (if she wants to see them, i'll give them to her, i have nothing to hide) and because i'm acting "different" she says she hates the way i'm acting and that i'm acting like some rebellious teenager. It's mostly when i deflect or amusedly agree and absurdly amplify (AAAA for short). And she's hit me with things like "if you keep acting like this, you better find somewhere else to live" and "Did the stupid book tell you do act like that?" to which i simply would answer with "of course" and "sure" . Because I know she's pushing back to the way i'm acting.

Well i don't let that phase me. ( I try, it's really hard)

Regarding sex, well there isn't much of any to talk about.

Before christmas there was none pretty much, i'd say on average once a month if i was lucky.

After christmas, slowly improving my mood, losing some weight, feeling better about me, and speaking my wants clearly. it picked up somewhat and was about roughly 2-4 times a month on average, which shows me she's reacting to it in a positive way. (even if she puts up a fight because i didn't act like this before, trying not to RAMBO)

Before christmas she didn't even want me to touch her or hug her or kiss her, now it's changed for the better.

well a few weeks ago, talking with some of my guy friends, they told me that i need to explain to her that i have needs and if she doesn't want to have sex that i need at least a handjob.

I told her that and she understood, which I was not expecting.

the next day, she gave me a handjob and well i couldn't cum because, she wasn't into it and well i was nervous. i told her to leave it and went in my room and lifted some barbells, completely un-phased by what happened while she went to wash the gel off her hands. she walks in my room and asks me if everything ok and i simply replied with sure and kept doing my weight lifting.

the day after she told me she has an idea to work on my problem and basically it was that she would lay on the bed and i could touch her until she got wet, then fuck her and cum inside her. This was the first time she actually said something like that and well it was really good. we started talking dirty during this

this continued on a few times, then she was in the mood normally and well our sex frequency was higher than usual (as stated before).

we get to last night, she was on the bed i sleep on (we sleep in separate rooms because of the little one didn't want to sleep in his bed and sleeps with her, plus my snoring would wake up the kid and make him cry and then no one would sleep. plus i needed my sleep because of my work and i sleep in the next room over) the bed reading some whatsapp messages from a group created by our small community about some new buildings the city wants to build on our street, I know it's that, I saw it.

I snuggled behind her and rubber her ass and she moved it away. not a problem, i told her i wanted to rub myself on her and at least cum and she didn't have to do anything, she said no.

After that, I ignored the akwardness and just kept on talking and joking with her, when i saw nothing was happening, i told her "well it's time for me to go to bed" as i smacked her ass a few times signalling she had to leave, she let out an audible moan like "i wanna stay and keep playing with my phone" (with no sex of course) and i told her " there is a way you can earn extra time" in a sort of "lets fuck" tone and well she said no and left the room.

what pissed me off is that she went to the bathroom, sat on the toilet for 20 minutes and kept talking with the surrounding neighbors about these stupid buildings. I wanted to go there and explain to her that if she doesn't hold up her end of the bargain, she won't have to worry about the buildings because i'd move out, forcing us to sell the house pretty much............but i didn't, i just seethed in anger for 5 minutes, and then it just left my mind and i fell asleep.

come to today, I decided to not go to a work related event because i want to be here for my son if she un- expectedly goes into labor. We don't live in the city so if i'm not here and sleeping in the city and it happens, she needs to wake up my son, call the ambulance and go through that whole thing. i don't want to put him through any of that so i'm off limits to external things (except work) until the baby is born.

I get home from work, i give her an ass squeeze and kiss her on the cheek.

Everything is normal, she's laughing, she's smiling, she's in a good mood.

After joking around with her and playing with my son, I told her that after she brings him to bed i "need" her help, she understood what i meant and again said no she didn't want to and was whining that she wasn't in the mood.

I told her "exactly and that's why i need you to help me out" and she started throwing out every excuse about how she's tired, she needed to do her things, etc etc.

she then said "you know it doesn't work when i'm not in the mood" and i said "I know, that's why i want to try again, i'm not doing this for you, i'm doing this for me"

and she started spewing BS about she's pregnant, she didn't rest at all, i'm unfair, i only think of myself to which i started explaining to her that i never ask her for anything, it's the 1 thing i asked her and well i started explaining myself (huge mistake) and she basically didn't want to hear my shit and told me "whatever i don't want to hear it, please leave me alone"

In that moment i wanted to punch myself for lowering to her level but went on and kept playing with my son.

it pissed me off so much after about half an hour i told her that i didn't want her to help me out anymore and informed her i will go to bed at 11 (because she needed to shower while i look after the baby phone in case my son wakes up).

in reference to her helping me she said "well i was going to do my things first and help you out, but your going to bed so i guess that's out" i then told her that i don't want her to help me out and she repeated the same thing again. I just said "whatever" and left the room because i didn't want to waste my time with it anymore.

Again lowering myself to explain but i didn't want to be around her if she was going to be in a shitty mood. so i got it over with.

when my son fell asleep, she brought me the baby phone and put it on my desk, I ignored her as i was at my desk and she went on her way.

In all this I know she's super hormonal because of the pregnancy, she's gone from hot to cold in a matter of seconds and she wasn't this bad before she was pregnant, she wasn't as tired and could sleep more. That's why it's more difficult for me to deal with.

my questions from all this is:

  1. Do i keep frame even though she's unpredictably hormonal, pregnant and needs help with things? (where do i draw the limit?)
  2. Should i not ask for sex (handjobs also) but just keep frame and keep working on myself and she will come around?
  3. What do i do when the second baby is here? none of the books explain how best to keep frame when there are kids involved.
  4. Am I explaining myself too much?
  5. Can someone please help me out and be my NMMNG safe person? all my male friends don't live here and aren't always available to talk. Would be nice to have some help.

TLDR - GF is pregnant, super emotional. worked on my frame and things got better but still on her rollercoaster of emotions. Not sure how to deal with all of this after the second kid is born.

thank you.

Edit: thanks everyone for the replies, I have a lot to work on. Will keep you posted and try to join in on oys.