Getting "too comfortable" and losing mystery - do not do it!

cxj · 2015-03-21T06:35:04+00:00

Noteworthy exception: your SO is a nurse.

sheridork · 2015-03-20T19:22:31+00:00

Meh, we all know that the term "feminine" is pretty relative. Some of us wear heels and dresses, some of us don't. Some girls look sexy and feminine in their workout gear, and their guys love that. It all depends on what your guy is comfortable with, and becoming the woman that makes him happy.

My SO and I have rules about not farting in front of one another cause it is pretty gross. We shower together, and have no problems seeing the other one on the toilet (although wiping is off limits haha). All I'm saying is it depends on the couple and their preferences and dynamics.

[deleted] · 2015-03-20T19:54:53+00:00

Eh, this has gone out the window, as sometimes my SO has to help me if I'm dizzy to the toilet. Part of being disabled though :/ We still have amazing sex and dress up or do other things. But he also cares for me if needed.

HannahFree · 2015-03-20T20:16:52+00:00

Keeping the mystery with my husband is getting increasingly harder to do as my pregnancy progresses... but since I have already maintained a good level of composure up to this point, he finds it hilarious when I'm trying to hide my gassy, bloated flaws. The scariest part for me is he insists on catching the baby when the times comes.... I'm terrified he'll never look at my body the same way after watching the birthing process. I know he loves me unconditionally, but I'm not ready for certain parts of me to be viewed by him as functional instead of sexual. The fact that he's pushing for natural birth gives me hope that he'll see the beauty in it all... fingers crossed.

kittykahoots · 2015-03-20T19:14:55+00:00

I do not understand the need to act like a man in front of your partner. In our home I deny, deny, deny lol Have explained to my husband and boys that girls don't fart, we simply have excessive body winds on occasion (yes they really know I have body functions).

My boys are older and my eldest the other day was commenting on how gross some of the girls are at his school burping and such in a competition.

And to be funny Why Girls Don't fart

My stepfather gave me great advice when I was a young girl. Act like a lady and you will be treated like one.

Great post and reminder!!

lucythelumberjack · 2015-03-21T02:29:28+00:00

I have IBS, so sometimes if I eat the wrong thing it's really difficult to keep from being gross. But as far as my boyfriend knows, I don't poop. :P

SuperSlavisWife · 2015-03-23T14:24:48+00:00

Something I love doing is offering nuggets of extra mystery. Things that wouldn't be a mystery, or don't have to be, but that fascinate and intrigue in a playful way.

I can promise Jon a present or a surprise and he gets a bit het up trying to work it out. As long as it stays playful, the anticipation builds up like crazy, though. Example: I made him his first ever Christmas stocking. As I knew he would be impressed (Who doesn't love stockings?), I dropped random hints, but kept the "surprise" a complete secret. He was always peering around, often just looking under flower pots and in the coal scuttle in jest and generally curious. When he got it he was very pleased.

Sometimes I'll just do something for him or get him something and leave evidence/it on the table so he's surprised by it. Example: a nice shirt I found whilst out shopping his favourite chocolate, something he'd forgotten and got stressed about.

When he agrees to one of my crazy craft projects, I'll give him a rough outline of what we're doing and let him fill in the blanks. Which he usually fills in with "witchcraft and stuff", but it's fun nonetheless. The latest one is fire logs out of scrap paper.

Anything that get's your man playfully (which is key) peering through the door, rifling through cupboards and pestering a little could build a bit of mystery and a bit of intimacy.

Bakerofpie · 2015-03-21T13:47:43+00:00

My Husband is constantly trying to sabotage me on this one. We always pee with the door open, hell, even when company is over they will sometimes leave the door open if they know us well because they know we couldn't care less. Two hard and fast rules for me are that he cannot be anywhere in the vicinity if I'm going number 2 and he can't be around for any bathroom stuff having to do with my period. Both of those things are struggles for me and I do my best, but he likes to torture me by sneaking up and trying to have a conversation with me when I'm going to the bathroom and I just have to keep telling him to go away while he laughs at me, the butthead ;)

One thing you didn't mention that REALLY gets me is him seeing me change. I almost feel like what's the point in dressing up all sexy if the mystery is immediately ruined by him witnessing the process. IMO a man should never see you put on your hosiery or lingerie, or witness any middle step in getting ready for a fancy night out or really any time you are getting dolled up. This gets very difficult when you live together, but Husband has tried to be a bit more accommodating with that because while he can laugh at me in the bathroom and be entertained by my annoyance and embarrassment, I have become borderline heartbroken when he's refused to allow me to get ready in private after putting in the effort of finding a special outfit for him and trying to do something extra special.

throwawayyouwho · 2015-03-20T19:33:30+00:00

I'll admit I've never intentionally farted as a point in front of my SO, or probably even burped. But if I've done either unintentionally I can't remember a time either of us have even noticed.

But really, if you can't pee while your SO is in the shower or something equivalently "private" then you're making your life unnecessarily inconvenient.

Not to mention the destruction having children has on these relatively arbitrary feminine mysteries.

hockey_puck · 2015-03-21T00:52:14+00:00

I completely agree! My husband always pokes fun of me for this sort of stuff. "We're married, it's okay!" He laughs at me because I never poop when he's in the house (at least not to his knowledge), and because if I really have to pee and he's taking a long shower (we have one bathroom), I'll insist that he not look. The door has never been open while one of us has been using the restroom in our nearly five years together. He thinks I'm "shy" and it's cute, and says he wouldn't mind if I got more comfortable. But I have a feeling that if I didn't keep my bodily functions discreet, he'd be pretty sad about it. He was raised in a house full of women and knows that women can be gross, but I try my best not to expose him to my grossness. I wouldn't even shave my legs or clip my fingernails in front of him until we were married!

TX_Peach · 2015-03-22T00:36:07+00:00

Yes, thank you for bringing this up. I also include getting dressed, doing my hair and make up.

I feel the same about women saying "I have to pee". Ugh. That is so nasty. Maybe its the open culture we are in. I long for the days when one simply excuses themselves and takes care of business.

[deleted] · 2015-03-20T18:48:54+00:00

May be relevant: I stopped wearing wide comfy chillout pants at home in front of my boyfriend. If you don't go to workout why wear them? Even then yoga pants do their job well, too.

[deleted] · 2015-03-21T05:18:26+00:00

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[deleted] · 2015-03-20T19:21:36+00:00

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Katniss_Granger · 2015-03-21T10:20:26+00:00

I still maintain that girls don't fart. Yes, sometimes it happens accidentally and I'm always mortified, I'd never intentionally let one out!

I have to admit I don't understand people doing toilet activities with the door open or talking to their SO at the same time, just....why? what is so important that you can't wait until you're out the bathroom?! There was an ask reddit thread about the most disgusting thing couples do together and so many people said that they went to the toilet together at the same time! Just hold it for goodness sake! Unless one of the is having to help the other which is an entirely different matter, that's doing it out of need and love and caring for someone.

[deleted] · 2015-03-20T21:10:49+00:00

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reigorius · 2015-03-24T15:47:01+00:00

Guilty on all fronts. My SO told me in my face I lose attractiveness when I do the above.

[deleted] · 2015-03-21T03:37:35+00:00

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Title	Getting "too comfortable" and losing mystery - do not do it!
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	40
Comments	51
Date	March 20, 2015 5:10 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/2zpv2o/getting_too_comfortable_and_losing_mystery_do_not/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/getting-too-comfortable-and-losing-mystery-do-not.2225 https://theredarchive.com/post/2225