Women and socially acceptable opinions
On any given subject, society allows for a spectrum of opinions, usually between polarizing and extreme limits. Usually, if your opinion is beyond one of these limits, it will be rejected by the hive.
For example, for the current hivemind:
making fun of short guys: ok
making fun of midgets: not ok
So regarding height, we can say that one limit of the spectrum is right there between short and midget. Women won’t go beyond that.
Girls completely live and navigate within those social cues, this spectrum. Their way of communicating is a constant, cautious attempt to establish what the common ground is with others. They wanna know where the hive stands on any subject. Because a woman doesn’t have fixed boundaries, she continuously lives in this spectrum defined by both society (what the majority of society tells her is acceptable through the media, interactions, etc) and circumstances (what she can get away with right now). This spectrum is basically her whole universe.
Is it cool/acceptable to make fun of midgets? How will people look at me if I do it? That’s all that matters to them. Not whether the joke is funny or not.
On the contrary, masculine men usually tend to speak their mind, without thinking about consequences. When consequences are bad, you are labelled an “asshole”. ‘Yeah maybe my midget joke was inconsiderate, but whatever..’ Women love assholes because of their freedom. In comparison, women are slaves to the collective hivemind, and they hate it. They have to be constantly cautious. Throughout history, you can find many talented or smart women, but rarely do they go against the accepted spectrum of opinions. All rebellions, all groundbreaking ideas come from men, because men care more about finding their own truth than being accepted by the hive (at least masculine men). It’s also why it’s hard to find funny women: because they don’t dare go beyond the approved spectrum. They’re wired to do the opposite, to stay within.
Responding to a tease with agree and amplify
When somebody comes at you with a joke or a tease, it’s their way of saying: “see this social boundary where our interactions are nice and acceptable, I’m gonna go over it and pinch you a little to see what you are made of”. They go to one limit of the spectrum, and tease you there.
Girls do this all the time, although they’re not really imaginative when it comes to it. Typically, it’s gonna be something like “you’re short”, “you’re skinny”, “you’re fat”, “you’re old” (that’s the one I get), “you’re a loser”, etc. They choose words that can hurt you, on purpose (if not what’s the point), not because they’re necessarily true.
Agree and amplify is your way of responding “I see your ridiculous little tease and I raise it tenfold. You’re not even close to touching my boundaries, the ground where I stand firm is way too large for you to cover”. It’s basically a declaration of a bigger frame.
Agree and amplify is especially efficient because, instead of going in the opposite direction, which gives a polarizing power to her tease, you go in the same direction which leaves it in the middle of the spectrum, mediocre and useless. For example if she says ‘you’re short’, if you respond with ‘no I’m not I’m actually average height blabla’ you go in the opposite direction and you give value to what she said. You acknowledge that she found a limit where you’re uncomfortable. If you respond with ‘yeah I used to work in a circus as a midget, this is how I paid for college’ you’re going in the same direction and now her tease seems lost in the middle. Being short has lost all its negative power.
So agree and amplify shows her that not only are you not affected by this poke, you’re comfortable going way further than that. It also gives her tingles.
Tldr:
When she shit-tests you, she does it by teasing you at the boundaries of her spectrum. When you agree and amplify, you push these boundaries. This literally expands her sense of reality, it establishes your frame over hers. You establish that you’re solid and more comfortable than her on a wider range of the spectrum.
Great Job! We need both "try this because it works" along with "here's why it works."
I might add that by showing your verbal boundaries are fun and much wider than most, her tingles come from the hope that your bedroom boundaries are just as wide, just as fun, and she can do what she really craves.
I think this is a pretty limited view of actual social dynamics. I think dumb men speak their mind without thinking about consequences. You should be aware of what you're saying and why you're saying it. You can't always predict the consequences, but masculine men are okay with sometimes doing something wrong and should learn from those mistakes. I think there's a pervasive ideology that being an asshole is what turns women on, but I would argue that this a mischaracterization of more broad assertiveness personality trait. For example, making fun of a mentally challenged person is an asshole move. Telling someone who cut you in line to get behind you is an assertive move (but you may be an asshole to the person trying to cut). I have a suspicion that the "asshole" stereotype is perpetuated by weak men and ugly women who see assertive and confident men as a threat. Although, between choosing a weak man and an actual asshole, yes a woman would choose the asshole because he's more competent than the weak man. However, a man shouldn't strive to be an asshole because he can and often you'll see weak men become assholes because they don't want to do real self improvement.
So just be assertive without being an asshole.
The grey area nice guys struggle with.
Broad statement, but mostly true:
What you can get away with without being labeled an asshole is directly correlated to your SMV in any given situation.
True. You have to be able to take a similar ruthless joke about yourself to show how boundless you are... There are feminine gay (and straight) men who treat each other the same way as women to intimidate each other and that type of behaviour is often giving the opposite message.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FI921BxOqMk related
Picture a 4 year old calling you a poopy head. What would your response be? Would that hurt your feelings? Would you say "Now look here, you don't talk to your very important elder in such a way". Or would you clap your hand to your head and go "poop? On my head? Not again! The birds must have done it!".
Exactly. Women are children. Don't get mad/defensive, never take anything they say seriously
Someone said on here recently an 18 year old girl is really just a kid, and a 30 year old "woman" is really just the same kid but now with wrinkles and notches on her bedpost
I think it's because they don't fully go through puberty like boys. They remain a bit premature.
Women mature into puberty before boys. Walk into any 7th grade class and you can see the difference.
Women then soon stop maturing emotionally while men keep going for another decade at least
Patrice's story about pulling up beside a girl at the red light - *rolls down window, looks at girl* Girl: 'Can I help you?' Patrice: 'Yea I'm just sitting here trying to figure out if I like that goofy hair doo or not'. Girl: 'MF'er your hair aint shit either!' Patrice: 'Yea... I could maybe use a better barber. But my hair aint really as important as yours.' Girl: 'Yur an asshole!' Patice: 'I'm sorry I was just playin...'
Mr. O'Neal had this shit down lol
The key is to just have fun. Honestly the climate is different now. A climate of fear has been created to try and cut down on this type of stuff. Only the real winners pull through without scandal, in women’s eyes.
It's to the point where on a college campus if you stare at girls asses they honestly revel in it, cuz nobody has the balls to do it.
That's how bad it's gotten.
Maybe in the western world. There are no soyboys to be seen on my college campus.
Where do you go to college? Mongolia?
a different third world country. a small one. there are no slut walks or anything either. for better or for worse, slut shaming is very prevalent here. mostly because of how small my country is. theres small town syndrome
Sounds about right
Man I miss that MFer. He was truly ahead of his time. Not always the best at verbalizing why it worked, but amazing nonetheless.
Absolutely one of the best pimps in the game. Funny mfer too.
This is like his 'Confrontational Chicken Lady' bit - it rails the shit out of her for trying to heckle him, hitting on her at the same time and explaining to the crowd along the way how you tease the shit out of a woman then end up fucking her. Comedy gold, red pill truth.
There's a variation on this I like to do, that I'll call "Reverse Amplify". Basically you just reverse the tease back at her, at a higher notch.
"You're short" – "That's because you're a giraffe"
"You're old" – "Ya well are you even potty trained yet?"
The point is to catch her off guard with an absurd comeback. The key thing to remember is when she acts shocked, just grin at her. No apologies. She will quickly start giggling or full on laughing.
Answer to the "you're old" line:
"Yeah, I used to date really hot chicks when I was young, but now I got to deal with you."
What do you guys think about that?
Very good, although I’d phrase it as “but now I’m happy to settle for you”. None of this “got to deal with” Ebonics shit
Fair enough, thanks for the addition! English is not my first language.
Idiotic. When did poor grammar become synonymous with ebonics?
you din axe me, but... poor educational attainment - including in skills as basic as English reading and writing - is rife in black communities. If it is not synonymous, it is at least correlated and can generally be expected. Aight?
I love it! Though there are many exceptions, I know them personally, thing short-sighted, retarded white people like you fail to understand is that the majority of Black culture has nothing to do with America.
That "ebonics" bullshit is just an American stereotypical fabrication. Saying that shit grammar is synonymous with Blacks and ebonics is like saying US Southern incest is synonymous with Whites. Fuck out of here with your retadation.
I like it
Great read. I've realized I do this ALL THE TIME without actually being conscious of it.
Perhaps it's a way of adapting to the delusional fantasy land that the modern, millennial woman is queen of.
How would i respond to a story i told and she says "you're not exactly making yourself look good"
TRP is not a guide about having the best comebacks. Maybe your story does suck. Without context it's hard to say.
"You're not exactly making yourself look good."
Your response: "Well, if I was trying to make myself look good, I wouldn't be here with you."
You’d probably hit a better target audience if you posted this question to the asktrp sub
It usually gets blocked by mods the second I post a question-so I don't even tryanymore.
Yea bro I'll tell you why... It's useless to ask questions like she said xyz what should I have said back? First of all, what you say or do not say is never that important. Of course when you say something really autistic/stupid people will drop you but generally, if you have high value people will cut you slack all the time for saying dumb shit. That's why we say focus on becoming high value.
In addition, even if it did matter to say the 'perfect thing' all the time, there would be no way you could learn to say the perfect thing in every situation, all the time. Not even if you studied what to say when for a lifetime...
The problem you're having is that when the girl says for instance "you're not exactly making yourself look good" is triggering you. The entire purpose of her saying that is because she wants to see if it does trigger you. Which it clearly does or you wouldn't be asking lol. When you are high value you wouldn't give A) a fuck when a girl says "you're not exactly making yourself look good" and B) you wouldn't even care to have a 'clever' response because why would her sorry ass be deservant of a clever response...
True, all ofwhat you said makes sense, but how I reacted to her comment (by continuing with my story and ignoring she said that), that demonstrates that i'ma high value person, right? Even if interally I'm having a monkey fight over this silly comment and how to react. I keep in the back of my head, "What would James Bond do here?".
A high value person doesn't question if he's high value or not. If you question that, you have your answer...
Also, would James Bond (or anyone at the level of James Bond) ever think 'what would a cool person say'? Of course not... A person who IS something doesn't think about how to do it, he just IS.
My point being... There are no short cuts to becoming high value, no gimmicks. Put in the work, it will take years but it's worth it. faking it till you make it may kinda work short term but putting in effort will put you way far ahead long term.
Stop worrying about what to say or any of that petty shit. Go to the gym, read books, study, become smarter, get hobbies, go to social events, make friends, date many girls, find ways to increase income, dress better etc etc. Put a couple of hours into those things every day and you can't even imagine where you'll be in 5 years.
Dude, when you start picturing women the way you should, words will come naturally as long as you know how to speak English. Don't memorize come backs.
How should I picture women?
Like she's a little kid, giving you shit.
"Bullshit. Im the greatest human being thats ever lived"
"Ok, then hunny bunny, give me your epic tale of triumph and woe."
"Youre right, im a massive bastard. Wanna help me murder retards this weekend."
And so on. Just say something that shows you dont give a shit about her comment and that youre fun. Accompany with a sly smirk and jobs a good un.
See the thing about reccommending pre-made lines is that you gotta make em funny at least
"Baby these lines are hilarious, you just dont know how to laugh." Shit test passed
Great answer if it was a shit test, it wasn’t.
I'm sure his sort of crude remark would entertain some girls, but perhaps you should show him how it's done, or at least tell him how to meet your higher standards. The point op made seems to be that this moving of boundaries is inherently attractive, and you don't have to act like a clown and risk trying too hard, or letting your insecurities about not being funny enough into play.
While I agree TRP isn't a comeback sub, and your story might in fact suck, I once said "Well, making myself look good isn't why I told you the story" and it really shut her up. I think it kind of goes along with the agree and amplify theme of this post. It tells her you're telling her a story as it is, not with an agenda of glorifying yourself but because it's a cool story and you thought she'd like it irrespective of your role in it. Girls find it hot when you're not trying to improve their perception of you, instead letting her make the mental picture herself.
Yeah, this story I was telling was where I wouldn't quit running a half marathon when they shut it down due to a snowstorm coming in, and how paramedics questioned me to see if I was mentally stable, then she says, "You're not making yourself look that great by telling this."
So maybe this will help understand better?
I actually just looked at her, then finished my story. I didn't acknowledge what she had said.
TBH that's a cool story, first off.
Secondly, your reaction isn't that bad. You just brushed that comment aside and went on - kinda like that snowstorm when you were doing the 21k!
BTW if you want to score bonus points (and make a judgement if she's a smart cookie/paying attention or not), make a meta joke with reference to your ongoing story like this one. It works.
"I don't care how i look to you "
Maybe be less blunt(I'm low inhib tho so idc)
put on the bad boy act like George did https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0UXR8444n8c
Agree and amplify “I know, God already designed me to look good. I can’t do much to top that work.”
“Well sure, im the baddest guy around”
"no shit! Have you not been paying attention?"
What about agreeing but holding off the amplify and just holding a casual frame.
“You’re short!” “Yeah” “Yeah you’re really short!” “Well yeah I just agreed...” “That must suck!” “Not really” “Of course it does!” “...Are you ok? You’re really hurt by this...”
Username checks out ha. Not amplifying works too, I guess it depends on what you're trying to achieve. We agree that the most important thing is to be unaffected by any shit test attempt, to not give it any value.
Imo, agreeing without amplifying = 'I don't care about your opinion'
Whereas agreeing and amplifying = 'I acknowledge your shit test but I can play this game better than you, so be careful'
Which do you think is more effective honestly? The second may show you are willing to play the game indicating you likely care about the outcome more. The first reeks of pure indifference which widens the ranks between you and her.
Do other people have social power over you? If you're stoic, you show her that they don't. You don't care about others' opinion. Good.
Now, do you have social power over others? Being stoic doesn't show anything in this regard. You're not engaging.
I agree that the stoic response reeks of indifference, but it's not necesarily attractive. As a man you're supposed to be indifferent to the outcome, but not completely disengaged. You're supposed to say what you want, and not care if for whatever reason you don't get it.
The second response is not about the outcome. You're just holding frame. If somebody slaps you in the face, are you gonna be stoic and stay put? At some point you gotta establish boundaries, in a calm but firm way. And a shit-test is nothing more than a metaphorical light slap in the face.
Finally, regarding effectiveness: the fun, witty, outgoing guy always wins over the stoic, introvert one. Because the fun guy is the one who can dispense validation, which is women's social currency. Whereas nobody cares about the stoic's validation.
The “stoic and unaffected” response here is really contingent on delivery.
“You’re really short” “Yeah” could easily have come out of a docile manlet who knows his place. If your attitude and general demeanour isn’t already oozing “fuck you, I don’t care”, chances are the “yeah” will be taken as a submissive response.
Agree and amplify is pretty much idiot proof by comparison. Instead of just saying “I don’t care about this stupid game” you’re saying “this game is stupid and so are you”, which is immensely more powerful
There's one other method I'm surprised hasn't been mentioned in this discussion, not that it differs much.
You shrug it off (often literally), and continue being engaging and dynamic. Say you were already discussing something, and she interrupts with a test. It's good for when you don't feel witty.
The most engaged yet the least attached men are the most likely to win the seduction game.
Choose a side, always being in the gray can create a lack of trust and knowledge about your character.
This works really well. You can even agree fully without amplifying and extend it into a full-on frame check and frame assertion.
For example:
"You're such an asshole!"
"Well, yeah, everyone needs a hobby ;)"
You've just agreed and rephrased/reframed in lieu of amplifying. I just don't know if that necessarily qualifies as an "amplification" per se.
Amplification seems hacky to me or maybe I’m just not thinking of good enough stuff.
This way you get to question their morals. Maybe not the best solution but seems more fun and cutting.
Hey shorty, how's the weather down there? Should I get a stool for the top shelf liquor? /s
Hell yea, it's dusty! Catch the ball and score the hoop, Ms. Tower! /s
I remember being teased by this girl about being overweight after an accident. I instinctively amplified it by saying that "I'm actually pregnant with Jesus" ...she laughed, I laughed, the remote laughed, I went home and fucked the remote. Jk, I did her.
So yes, this works but I don't know why. For all the times somebody tries to explain me it is all random and that girls don't have a pattern or logic to things, i just can't convince myself to believe that. Why you gotta be so dumb gurl? Pussy baus <3
Humor and confidence are sexual traits. What logic do you need for sex?
I do need logic for this unpredictable behaviour. This is because i want my female offsprings to have none of that bullshit. She 9 HB, fucked a then overweight dude such as myself cause of 'sum joks'? This is despicable! My future daughter better be sane about this shit!
Women are still gonna be women.
I have had a shit test like (I started laughing at a funny joke sent by a friend via DM - she was not in the situation) and the girl said: "Did Mom just send something funny for you"? I was like: "Yeah, YOUR mom" And she had a massive mental breakdown.
While that isn't my usual agree and amplify ("Yeah my mom also walked me to the job"), the rebound seems to have aggravated the girl a bit.
This shit is fucking hilarious
Every girlfriend I've been with does this. I'm over 6ft, good looking, have a lot of money and a nice place and a Benz that I own outright. But goddamnit... every single girlfriend says mean things to me.
I think it's because they are not funny. They say these things as if they are supposed to be jokes, but they do get under your skin and piss you off.
What are some good examples of counters to the "you're so old" line? I've been getting that since I was 25 for christ sakes... I'm only 29 now! But they still say it.
Yeah they're supposed to be jokes but we all know they aren't. They're testing you. We shouldn't get mad at it, because women are weak little things (both emotionally and physically) so the last thing they want is a weak man.
Regarding 'you're so old', there are many ways to go about it, just mention you'll tell your Vietnam veteran friends about her, tell her you can't kiss her tonight because you haven't washed your fake teeth mouthpiece (or adult diapers), say your grand-kids will be delighted to meet her, etc. Whatever works for you and doesn't come off as rehearsed.
Won't that just solidify her belief that I'm old? Isn't that just going to make her think she is right? I got to be honest... giving her the satisfaction of confirming her lie is true doesn't sit well with me.
It's not really about you being old. She knows how old you are. She doesn't care.
It's a test of personality. If you were older, but fat, she would never mention you're old. She would test you over you being fat.
The only thing she's assessing is how you react. If you take this seriously you are confirming that: 1. you indeed consider yourself old, because you feel like you have to defend yourself, which gives her opinion credit 2. you have a light skin because you let a small little girlie thing get at you, no matter the subject.
Don't focus on the rational meaning of words. Focus on their emotional impact. That's all that there is.
So just agree and let her think she's right? I can't think of a single creature in this world that would get that treatment from me (not a child, a dog, a family member, etc)... but you think I should give that treatment to a plate or gf of mine?
Dude, you're 29. If you talk about adult diapers or the Vietnam war, you're not letting her think she's right. On the contrary you're dismissing her point by giving it no importance, by having fun.
If you start taking this seriously, this is how you let her think she's right.
Generally speaking the fact that you care about what she thinks of you means you're already in a losing position. She's the one who should care about what you think of her, not the other way around.
You’re defensive and insecure. I can’t think of a single creature in this world that is turned on by that.
Girls that actually think you’re too old won’t bother to engage with you. If she’s saying it, she’s wanting you to play, not defend.
You’re always going to get shit like this at almost any level. The thing to internalize is that you’re not seeing this as a conquest of who is right like a logical debate (that already makes you the loser). When you get comfortable with it, she won’t hear that you’re agreeing, she’ll just feel like she threw something at you and you didn’t flinch.
She doesn’t care about the argument, she cares about getting a rise out of you or making you defensive.
Bro, that's actually some solid advice, especially in this sub.
You have to be carefree about it lol. Take the stick out yo butt.
Have you ever played with kids? Kids test you all the time, vehemently too. They'll make fun of you for menial things, and keep on repeating if you don't actually agree with them and amplify.
The only other option is to ignore them completely, meaning to not even look at them. That's disengaging though, which you may see from the analogy isn't your goal.
I'm sorry but the autism in your comments here is staggering.
You reek of insecurity because you're scared of "conforming to her reality" and instead you think you're supposed to come down aggressively and put her in per place.
I feel like this shows a complete lack of RP concepts. Sure bro you can "win" by getting angry and telling her she's wrong. In reality you are just unable to overcome your own emotions to manipulate the situation to the outcome you want.
If you’re really uncomfortable with agreeing, you could just say something like “that all you got?”
the whole point is to say it in a subtly sarcastic way so she knows ur just being playful
It is still an agreement, no matter how sarcastic you say it. That's the whole first part of "agree and amplify"
copied/pasted (because I want your opinion as well, they are genuinely valuable to me, thanks): I should just agree and let her think she's right? I can't think of a single creature in this world that would get that treatment from me (not a child, a dog, a family member, etc)... but you think I should give that treatment to a plate or gf of mine?
youre thinking about this too literally. girls only say that stuff to test your emotional control, not the logical part behind it. The important part about agreeing and amplifying isnt the agreement, but rather how you take their little tease and make it sound incredibly silly.
Of course you dont HAVE to Agree and Amplify at all. You can try Disagreeing and Amplifying with them (Ex. I actually came out of my moms womb last night) or a pressure flip (what have you got against old guys?)
Regardless of what you choose to deflect the shit test, always say it confidently and with a sarcastic half grin.
get thicker skin man. im 28, if someone called me old I would laugh and say something back, like
"yea not quite old enough to be your dad but im getting there my kids only 2"
"you have a kid?"
"yea I have a few, keeps me busy"
..
"well that makes you a gold digger babe"
literally anything
Why do you give a fuck what some bimbo thinks about your age? Women will tell you you’re old when you’re in your late 20s because that’s what being old is for them (but not for us obviously as our SMV peaks during our 30’s and even 40s). The problem is that you care.
Yeah in some sense I care but not because I actually think I'm old I care because I don't want these loser college idiots to think they are right. They are wrong about basically everything they think they know.
You need so much reading and learning to do, you rookie
She's not "lying" she's "giving you shit" and you respond to people "giving shit" (aka shit tests) by agreeing and amplifying. Always. Maybe disagreeing and amplifying if it calls for it. Try pressure flipping too
"Old huh? Guess that means you're just SUPER into old guys. Didn't know you were such a gold digger. Call me Hugh Hefner baby." shit like that.
Practice pressure flipping more. I've started incorporating it when I run out of agree and amplifies...When you put them on the defensive it turns the tables real quick.
Thats not bad. Respond with to an unwarranted jab with an unwarranted jab. The whole self deprecating humor bit seems like a pussy move but this seems decent. Thanks
"unwarranted jab" honest question do you know how to flirt? Because even for non-RP guys most of them get this... You are so concerned with looking like a pussy or validating her that you miss the entire concept.
Have fun with it, TEASE HER, stop being stuck in the anger phase dude, it's bringing me down just reading these comments.
She is hanging out with you, the medium is the message with women, first off she's with you second i bet these things are said in a teasing, fun, flirty tone...
I was going to say women aren't men they don't communicate information as literally. But fuck every male friendship I've ever had we say shit way meaner than "you're old" to eachother. It's part of being human, nothing more unattractive than someone with no sense of humor.
Ha, the "you're old" line. I take it as a compliment, because men keep increasing in value as we age. I usually play into it with a random cliche elderly man line, or I diss them for being snot-nosed brats.
Marion: You're not the same man I knew 10 years ago.
Indiana Jones: It's not the years, honey . . . it's the mileage.
Raiders of the Lost Ark
"I'm young at heart", alternatively you can try "I'm young at heart and make others feel the same" (essentially something about the possibility of making them feel like a child again)
One very important and useful skill is making others around you feel childlike when they are in your presence. I believe this kind of reply is the best
That is still agreeing with her nonsense. I can't do that.
From your writing I can tell you are vastly insecure. The sooner you realize that and get over it the better. Maybe it is agreeing with her nonsense, and you're damned if you do and damned if you don't, however sometimes you have to lose the battle to win the war
From the way your writing I can tell you have no idea what you're talking about.
Always agree and amplify.
"Oh that reminds me I've gotta stop by the old folks home and say hi to some friends."
"Yeah my scrotum hangs down practically to my knees, it's getting pretty crazy."
"Huh? What'd you say?" "YOURE SO OLD" "Oh sorry my hearing aid wasn't on..."
etc.
man idk... self deprecating humor as a response to personal attacks? i dont think i have that in me.
Listen man you keep asking us what to do and we keep telling you the same shit and you keep saying you can't do that "cause of your ego" or some bullshit. Get your head out of your ass, read the sidebar and heed our advice or just get outta here.
NONE of this shit when dealing with women is logical. You're NOT self depreciating because you're 29, obviously you're not old. You're literally, factually, objectively not. She knows this. But she gives you shit to test your frame. So for you to sit and joke with her that you are old it demonstrates your frame and how nothing can break you down. Self depreciating humor is different--namely that it's instigated by you as a way to make others feel "good" or on your level. Agreeing and amplifying a shit test is all fun and games and you seem to be losing at the fun and games or your girl wouldn't shit test you so much.
Ffs man
I've already agreed with others that I believe gave me good advice. I just don't like yours.
Well, you’re wrong. And you sound majorly insecure.
Agree and amplify is stunningly effective, and that scrotum line is gold! I’ll remember that one.
"Thanks, I have been going for the daddy vibe since I was 12"
A&A is an amazing tool, especially for beginners.
Remember: shit tests are a good thing! They are IOIs and passing them is one of the most reliable ways to build attraction
Right on. Once you get it, being shit-tested is like being faced with the easiest challenge possible, with a trophy if you overcome it -which you always do.
OP I completely get what you are saying and this will work with some amount of shit tests that women lash out with due to their firmware nudging them in this direction. However if one were to agree and amplify all the time then surely this would signal that a man is spineless and that he doesn't have respect for himself that he doesn't draw lines in the sand and he doesn't enforce those lines, something women can understand very well should they come up a man who holds his ground. I think at times you should do the disagree, ignore and move on strategy which also has merit to it due to the aforementioned reasons. All of this depends on the situation and what the girl's SMV is, what your SMV is what is your history/potential future together is.
Edit: Spelling
Oh yes absolutely. Agree and amplify is one of the tools we use in social interactions, it totally depends on the context. I hope newbies are not interpretating this post as something they have to use all the time.
Ah great! I also interpreted it that way even though I hope I'm not a newbster.
AA can make a guy seem like a clown is used too excessively. Ignoring definitely has it's value and isn't as hookey as saying outlandish crap. All in context though.
One of the more solid posts I have seen in a while. Couldn't agree more.
Fantastic post. More pragmatic RP content. We need more like this. Agree and amplify not just with females, but in business deals, too. Let the other person feel like they're always "winning". They'll sign your deal 95% of the time based on how you "make them feel" about interacting with you.
I agree, social interactions are fluid and relative to goal posts we set. If you move the goal post, there is way less convincing to do.
Make people feel how they expect and/or want to feel, and they'll compensate you both emotionally and financially.
"Sales is the art of selling emotion!" -Zig Zigglar
Great piece. Yes this is women's prime directive in social behavior. It's also why saying outrageous things in front of women (context appropriate) can increase their attraction for you, because you are communicating that you are above rules that place limitations on your thoughts or behavior AKA high status alpha.
Best post I’ve seen in two years!
Great post. These things are a great way to gain more awareness and mastery.
Some little points that go beyond A and A context, too. Like men saying what they want, without fear of consequence. That can be applied to many areas. Of course you must stay calibrated, but speak your truth often. Frame IS you.
You've given a slice of knowledge on the way to the goal - Amused Mastery.
Good job taking the time to write.
Thanks I appreciate
Very valuable post. Greatly explained my man
Great job at simply explaining the 'agree and amplify' concept. You definitely put some thought into it and made it easy to understand, I never thought about it this extensively before. Setting the boundary further, in the way you described, to show people they can't crawl under your skin as easily sets the frame very fast.
I get a lot of weird reactions when I agree and amplify because I struggle to apply the right tonality. Any tips? +Should I get tested for Aspergers
Nah don't get tested for Aspergers. Honestly most guys struggle with this, we don't calibrate well and come off as cringey. I was like that for a long time too.
If you struggle with it, try to do less. One mistake we make is trying to think of the perfect comeback, because really we're scared that the comeback is gonna fall flat, and that's it's gonna be awkward. So we overdo it. "Yeah I was a fucking midget in a circus and I was used as a sex slave all dressed in leather and my mom is an ant!". You know what I mean. The key is that we're afraid of being bland, and that we push to much.
My advice is to not be afraid of being bland. For example following "you're short", you could go with something bland, such as "yeah I'm a midget". That's it. It's not funny, it's kind of a bland agree and amplify, etc. It doesn't make you look like a master of social interactions. BUT, it also shows you're not a try-hard. You don't care about getting a laugh out of your audience. And it's not cringey.
Don't be afraid of silence, of a comeback falling flat. It's mucher better to fall flat than to say something over the top that shows you have no clue about social interactions. What really matters is that you appear calm and unaffected. Not everyone has to be the king of wit.
Astute analysis.
Unreactivity is the name of the game, really. There are times when agree and amplify is the best course of action. Sometimes it's misinterpretation (my personal favorite). Sometimes, it's something else. But I wouldn't necessarily pigeonhole yourself to one way of passing a shit test. Good post as far as the dynamics behind a shit test though.
Sure. Maybe I wasn't clear enough, as you're the second person making this comment. Agree and amplify is just one out of many tools for social communication. It's not to be used always, it really depends on context.
Breddy good post. You have any studies or research backing up this difference in gender psychology? I can't imagine its socially acceptable in our day and age of 3rd wave feminism,
No I don't. I think it's really hard to prove TRP by studies, because we're talking about traits that are on a spectrum. What we talk about here are masculine vs feminine traits, and TRP holds true to this. However, obviously both men and women often find themselves with a mix of masculine and feminine traits, so not everything applies all the time.
Btw, I think it's equally as hard to disprove TRP with studies, for the same reasons. The best test with all of this is not to fuel empty debates online forever, but actually go outside and confront these theories to real life experiences. That's how almost everybody who tries to apply these principles in real life sees that they work, and they validate this forum.
This is one of the most helpful posts I've ever read.
I usually struggle the most with "you're a looser/virgin" type of comments, they mostly come from people who knew me before I started bettering myself (crabs in a bucket in a nutshell) . But aside from that, A&A worked wonders when meeting new people/groups, they actualy respect you for the frame they perceive from you when they know that you don't give a shit about their comments.
Amazing post.
Hell yeah, it's really hard to make people change their opinion of you. The good part is that if they feel the need to tell you these things, it's because you're already ahead of them. They feel threatened, both in their own value and in the group's social hierarchy.
Feel good about it and let them spout their childish resentment. As you said, worst case scenario there are always new people to meet who will judge you for who you really are.
And since it is such an uphill battle to get people to change their opinion, why not just charge forward with the self-improvement for its own sake.
Damn the torpedoes . . . Full speed ahead
how would you reply to "you're too skinny" or jokes made about being skinny
"That's weird you would say that, I was the fat kid back home in Somalia"
"Thank you, it's a lot of work. I go make myself throw up in the bathroom after every meal. Just like supermodels"
or
"Thank you are you jealous? I can help you though, just gotta go throw up in the bathroom after every meal"
"That's funny my mom says the same thing too. Then she feeds me chocolate. You got chocolate at home?"
The key part of A&A you're missing here is wit, and sorry that's not particularly witty. Would be funnier if you just said 'yeah I used to work at the circus' and leave it there.
Generally I don't think recommending A&A as a go to response to every test- especially ones that are clearly aimed at big insecurities for most people: height, success in life, race, weight etc.; unless you are already competent with banter, because wit is difficult to fake long term. If you're not particularly witty it might be dangerous to use a couple of rehearsed comebacks if you aren't good off the cuff. People will keep shit-testing after the good comebacks because its a fun game, and failing later (no comebacks or bad ones) can be just as bad as failing earlier. For non-witty people it can be better to just ignore some of the shit-flinging- especially if you can run maturity game. The only situation where the responses to shit tests are absolutely necessary is with other alphas not chicks.
Also the alternatives to A&A can be better when they are actually close to the boundary of disrespect. I.e. pressure flips and ignore. Again if you are going to respond at all wit is paramount. . Not claiming to be particularly witty myself btw.
I'm not recomending A&A as a go-to response for everything. That wasn't my intention. It's one of the different tools to use in social interaction, I'm just focusing on this one in this post.
Regarding wit, that's weird because for me, adding "that's how I paid for college" makes it much funnier than without, because it kinda assumes the sale of the midget of the circus so to say, and adds another element to it. Personally I think things are funnier if they come with a story that you can deliver straight-faced. But whatever works for you is really what you should do.
Personally I think things are funnier if they come with a story that you can deliver straight-faced.
Also known as"dead-pan" humor. Leslie Nielsen made a whole second career out of this. He had been known as a "serious" actor in the 50's and 60's, in films like The Virginian and Forbidden Planet, but most of us remember him best from Airplane! and The Naked Gun movies.
Great explananation why agree and amplify works, but there are more ways to show your frame in the sidebar that work to the same degree
So fucking glad I’m a dude. I don’t pay attention to any of this shit.
Women are ultra strategic opportunists, that hate each other. Fuckkkkkk that.
Thanks for your analysis.
shit tests is about the emotions you respond with not the words. girls arent making a feindish test on you , they are just playing around
Agree about the first part completely. It's not about the rational meaning of words, it's all about the emotional reaction they elicit.
However you're wrong about the second part. Those are tests. If it was just playing around, they would choose other, funnier subjects.
Can you just agree and laugh if you haven't thought of comeback quick enough?
We men communicate rationally, so we're really hung up on the meaning of words. Women care way less about the meaning. They care about the reaction these words cause. It doesn't really matter what your comeback is, or how witty it is. It's not what you respond, it's how.
So yeah, you can actually laugh and it's ok. It just depends on how the laugh is. It should be a genuine, light-hearted, uncaring laugh.
One big mistake is men thinking we need the perfect, witty opener or comeback. But really women don't care that much about wit. They're not testing your brain, they're testing your character. If you're solid, confident and unshameable, even the blandest response is ok.
myopic and grossly limited characterization of both and women. Also, the majority of men (everybody) follow the pack and heavily rely on social feedback to understand the meaning of their actions. I don't think this conceptualization further contributes to extant models: it has holes and doesn't provide further insight. It's a lateral conceptual move at best and a detrimental oversimplification at worst. sounds like something I would think was clever when I was high, and then read later and had to try extra hard to make the pieces still fit together.
I won't try to convince you on this but I will just say that men and women are actually very different and that generalizations do apply. For example, it's fascinating to look into male hierarchies of power vs female hierarchies of power. How does a group of women choose their leader vs a group of men.
Men will clearly evaluate who is the best for the task, and then this guy is assumed to be the leader and no one questions him, unless he makes a mistake. Women will choose a leader more on her social status and based on the support she has in the group. Then she is constantly questioned, and to remain the leader she has to ensure she always has the support of the majority.
Men and women are very different creatures.
How about the other way around, a girl calling herself fat, per say, purely just to grasp your attention?
Do you still accept and amplify, or do you go the opposite way?
If she's trying that hard to get a reply out of you, I bet she'd hate it if you say nothing in a cocky way.
It's a good thing, it shows that she cares about your validation. There is no go-to response, I think it really depends on the context. Usually, the best is to push-pull: give her a compliment to appease her, then tease her. Or the other way around.
I get the "You're old" comment too. Can you share an example of a response that demonstrates A&A, please?
Copying a response I made to another similar comment:
Regarding 'you're so old', there are many ways to go about it, just mention you'll tell your Vietnam veteran friends about her, tell her you can't kiss her tonight because you haven't washed your fake teeth mouthpiece (or adult diapers), say your grand-kids will be delighted to meet her, etc. Whatever works for you and doesn't come off as rehearsed.
If you play your cards right I'll show you my Woodrow Wilson for President tattoo
Tattoed on your Woodrow, of course.
What is a good comeback for "you're a loser"?
That's different because it's not a specific trait, it's more of a general assessment of who you are. I don't think there is a comeback for that. Just disregard and move along. If somebody tells you that, you're not gonna convince them with words.
well you could say
"eh ya win some ya lose some, in my case i lose a lot"
How do you respond if she tells you, you are old?
Copying a response I made to another similar comment:
Regarding 'you're so old', there are many ways to go about it, just mention you'll tell your Vietnam veteran friends about her, tell her you can't kiss her tonight because you haven't washed your fake teeth mouthpiece (or adult diapers), say your grand-kids will be delighted to meet her, etc. Whatever works for you and doesn't come off as rehearsed.
"How old are you?"
"Too old for you but I will make an exception"
Solid break down of a tried and true method of keeping your head. Whether it happens with women or colleagues, this tactic is proven to show by action that your frame is not shaken by words.
This is great. In my life I always looked down on girls, and came to appreciate them. Ive always had this they are the little umbrella and I am the big umbrella thing. So I come with an enveloping attitude if that makes sense.
If it rains she may be able to comfort me, but without my own big umbrella I will still get wet or there will be something else about her that is not up to the big umbrella standard, always in the back of my mind. Same with her little tests. I tend to think girls are in the know about this kind of thinking.
So in other words, girls are useful for things yes but they are not going to replace your own world view and means. Take a test in this light. In this manner you can appreciate these tests for what they are. Girls are people but they are not men.
It's good you're at this place where you can see women for what they are but also appreciate them. Good for you man.
Are shit test usually coming from a girl who's interested or they don't mean anything?
They don't mean attraction necessarily. They're a test of character.
Some girls do it to establish whether you're deserving of her attraction. But for other girls, it's a natural way of acting and they shit-test almost every man.
agree & amplify works great in several ways... not just for dealing with women.
when my buds try to make fun of me, i use it when I'm not in the mood for the back & forth fun.
when my coworkers give me shit, i use it on them too.
met a fitness girl the other day... got her interest quick. then when she realized i was pulling her in, she said, "but you could stand to lose a few pounds."
my reply: "but i love dessert... sweet cat can be high in calories."
she got REALLY uncomfortable... crossed her legs (while standing), looked down and away, and faked being surprised/angry for just a second.
but note... she didn't walk away and stood there trying to think of a reply. i simply said, "let's talk later" and handed her my phone (to type in her number).
Sweet cat is a weird thing to say.
i respect your opinion.
have a good day.
Hmm just today one chick told me:"Eat more, you are skinny". Well, should have come up with something better than "Fat has no place on my body" I guess.
Tbf she might just be concern for you not shit testing u lol
Be it as it may, it's not like I was freaking out because of this.
I laughed, said my somewhat lousy remark and that talked with her for a bit.
In this case it was IDGAF , so whatever.
Im saving food for the africans
Something along the line came up in my mind...later. Anyway good tip, thanks.
I mean are you legit scrawny? Sounds like a good excuse to casually flex if your not.
Was reducing my body fat, but yeah, I'm far from beefy. Lifting only since January, now 80Kg (176lb), 186cm (6"10) tall. Good thing is muscles are showing, but I intend to gain noticeably more of them during this year.
Still I was laughing when she told me that. Id still rather be on slim side, than to be fat ass / land whale type of dude.
"I can't help it, all the nutrients go to my dick."
Heh thanks for inspiration. Will remember it for next time.
Are you lifting? Read the side bar! Amplify! STFU!
"I would, but I'm full from all the pussy I eat."
A little breakdown on this line.
It has the potential to catch her very off guard, thus leaving her confused (arousing her state), getting her to think about pussy getting eaten out (making your interaction with her sexual), and potentially getting her to think about you specifically eating out her pussy (creating sexual tension). You also get a little chuckle for yourself because the line is hilarious. I think so anyways.
As with anything, your miles may vary. Try to be as jacked and confident beforehand.
The line you seemed to have used only really illicits the response, "Oh, okay." You gotta follow up since it's boring and she doesn't have much to work with.
To me unless the line is pulled perfectly, this will come off as tryhard and cringey
His analysis is right, in terms of the dynamics going on.
1) You're catching her off-guard.
2) You're introducing a sexual context to the conversation.
3) You're displaying higher value, by pretty much shoving the abundance mentality in her face.
4) You're also displaying outcome independence and the funny, IDGAF attitude.
I've had girls try the "do you have a girlfriend?" shit-test and have responded with "No, but I am taking applications. What positions did you have in mind?" It can be hit or miss, but it saves a lot of time . . . and that's the name of the game.
Honestly if you have to explicitly say you are good in bed from what has been a non-sexual conversation you're just being tryhard
I see that line as being pretty similar to the magnum dong video with Danny DeVito
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=us5MGEL5W34