TL/DR: The same feelings you get when you have oneitis for a woman, instead should be the same feelings you have towards yourself and your life’s purpose. Your life’s purpose should never be to “get the girl,” and “live happily ever after.” Whatever your purpose, be it work, hobbies, self improvement, diet, nutrition, whatever… you are the prize, so have oneitis for the prize, not the byproduct of the prize.

Introduction:

I was at the bar with my buddy, who’s the most Alpha man I grew up with. His name is actually Chad, and he actually has a thunderous cock. Chad was torn up because the girl he was dating “needed some space to work on herself.” He first was lead to believe that she would be back after some time, but what she really meant was she needed “space without Chad.” I was perplexed, how could Chad Thundercock himself get dumped like this. It was very simple, Chad got oneitis. Chad informed me that at first he was kind of a dick to this woman and things were great. He said that as things started to progress he thought she was “the one,” and wanted to spend the rest of his life with her (ding ding ding ding). The problem was Chad got oneitis, and went from Alpha to Beta under the pretext that this woman would love him unconditionally. He thought that this woman would love him for the sensitive but strong man that he is…. as she should, however…. Chad was wrong.

Body: Why Chad was wrong.

As an attractive man myself, I personally get plenty of attention from HB7’s and below unsolicited. HB8-10 will not come approach me typically, and in the past when they had, they generally turned out to be batshit crazy, or have a ton of baggage. When the HB7’s and under approach me at a bar and compliment me, or tell me how attractive they think I am or find some reason to talk to me, I have never once in my life thought to myself “wow, I’m so lucky to have these women be attracted to me,”… Instead I’ll reply with some kind of smart ass remark like “Flattery will get you nowhere with me,” or “you should see me in the morning,” but usually it’s just a smirk with a “thanks”…. Regardless of the response, the women who approach me and tell me how attractive I am, I have NEVER once had oneitis for… why?...

Simply put, I’m not focused on those women, or any one woman in particular for that matter. Now could you take those women home and have some fun?... absolutely you could, and I guarantee you will be happy as soon as they leave, because the women who really catch your attention are the ones who won’t come talk to you. The ones who in your head you’ve assigned mythical beauty and mystique, the girls who make you play this stupid game in the first place, are the ones you get oneitis for.

Supply and demand:

When someone is very attracted to you regardless of their respective SMV, you lose attraction for that person. The more available someone is, the less demand you have for that person. It doesn’t matter how hot she is, if she becomes clingy and needy, you will find reasons to get the fuck out… this is the female equivalent of orbiting.

Oneitis is an illusion, and is your own mind fucking itself. It’s the projection of your ego flooding your brain with all sorts of dopamine and serotonin at the mere thought of whatever fantasy you had conjured up in your brain where you see yourself in some hypothetical future with this person. Oneitis often times makes us feel very good. Imaginary relationships are always self-validating because nothing can go wrong in the safety of your own deluded brain… so how can something feel so good in my head, but be so awful in reality?

It’s very simple, and it comes down to your purpose, or your personal reason for getting up in the morning.

Purpose:

Oneities gives you purpose. When you catch oneitis, your world revolves around one self projected illusion of “the one.” Oneitis gives you a reason to get up in the morning, however the problem lies in what that purpose is… in this case your purpose means getting the “dream girl.” Remember, Hypergamy doesn’t care how good you are, how well you can treat this girl, or how happy you think she’d be with you.

Your purpose should never be to get the girl, and as soon as it is, you’ve got oneitis. Women are attracted to alpha males, and alpha males don’t put their focus on one girl… Even married alphas are deemed workaholics, and “emotionally unavailable” or whatever dog shit excuse the woman will give to victimize herself to garner outward attention from betas. The truth is, as soon as the alpha turns beta and opens up emotionally, she generally is no longer interested, because your feelings don’t REALLY matter to her. To be alpha is to focus your attention on whatever craft you have, while identifying that women are the byproduct of you focusing on bettering yourself…. Whether that’s lifting, losing weight, reading philosophy, competing in sports, learning to cook, advancing in your career or what have you.

The paradox of "respect" I personally run into:

“The reason I’m not gay is because I could never fuck a man…. I could never fuck something that I respect.” -Jim Jefferies

The HB8-10’s who you have to play this stupid game with are hard to respect when you do close the deal and once you realize your abundance mentality is what attracted them, coupled with their hypergamous nature… It doesn’t matter how well you could treat them, how better off they would be with you, hypergamy simply just doesn’t care. This is exactly why your lifes purpose should NEVER be to get the girl.

For example:

Say you were head over heels in love with a girl and you think she’s the one, and you do in fact get into a LTR with her… what is your purpose after you get the girl? If your purpose was to get the girl, and you got the girl, your purpose shifts from getting the girl to keeping the girl… and now you’re a blue pill beta waiting hand and foot in attempts to keep someone happy, when the Alpha knows that true happiness comes from within.

Losing oneitis is nothing more than realizing women aren’t attracted to the man you are, but the man they project you to be…. Chad’s ex gf was initially attracted to Chad because she perceived him as Alpha,… Once Chad felt more comfortable in the relationship he swallowed the blue pill, got oneitis, and the power dynamic completely changed.

“Now you do what they told ya, now you’re under control” – Rage against the machine

Women don’t care about your opinion, or your feelings, this is why when they get all dressed up to go out, they hold more value in the compliment they receive from other women rather than from ANY man. Hypergamy doesn’t care what you think about her shoes, or how beautiful you think she is, she receives the majority of her validation from sources that aren’t you.

Conclusion:

The feelings you get when you catch oneitits are amazing, but illusionary. This is why it is so easy to fall into the blue pill mentality. Not only are we conditioned to this, we are driven by this, and for some people it’s addicting… This is why people fall in love with strippers, or get married multiple times.

So rather than having oneitis (purpose) for a woman, you must have oneitis for yourself in some form or another. Find passion for yourself, and for your hobbies, and personal growth as a man. You will find not only will you be happier with an abundance mentality, more successful in your field, but women will find you more attractive, because unlike the beta orbiters who want nothing more than to “make her happy,” or to “get the girl” you see the big picture and realize that the whole is greater than the sum of its parts.

This is why lifting is so important. It’s an easy way to have oneitis for yourself and to be objective about it. When lifting, set lifting goals or marks to hit so that your mentality isn’t just to look better for women… you want to look better and be better because you’re proud of the man you are and want to become. If you are the prize, your oneitis should also be for the prize, and women are just the byproduct who happen to want that prize.