In the past it was easier for 30+ men to date much younger women, now it's much harder because younger women increasingly see it as creepy.

Meritamen9 · 2020-09-17T11:52:47+00:00

The average age gap goes down as gender equality increases. I don't think it is because young women find men 10 years older "creepy", it's just that they don't need to select for a man's money and have more choice to choose someone they are attracted to.

https://www.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/i3rkb6/blue_pillers_why_do_you_claim_the_red_pill_is/g0e0vmw/

TheBadGoy · 2020-09-17T11:48:19+00:00

It doesn't matter as long as he's handsome. Bald fat 30 year olds are creepy, handsome 30 year olds aren't

2020-09-17T12:15:18+00:00

There is some statistical evidence to support your observation.

Marriage age has increased dramatically but US Census data indicates the age gap has never been smaller. In the past it was common for a man who waited to marry to have a much larger age gap. One would have predicted that increased age for marriage would have increased the age gap, but this hasn’t happened.

This phenomenon is not just in the West either. In the space of 10 years, women marrying younger men increased from 14.37 percent in 2000, to 40.13 percent in 2010 in China. Women have the upper hand there due to gender imbalance and apparently like “little puppies”

Age gaps are more common in second marriages, perhaps as a function of men having the upper hand in these relationships?

ToBeorToBeBe · 2020-09-17T12:08:32+00:00

Women can date whoever they want.

Men can date whoever they want.

Pass it on.

Edit: Forgot to mention as long as its legal and consensual

asdf333aza · 2020-09-17T16:47:10+00:00

Isn't it strange that we see all these articles and videos about 30+, successful, college educated women who can't find men to date? Yet, we don't hear about any guys who are 30+, successful and college educated having a hard time finding a woman. Wonder why that is? Almost as if those 30 year old successful guys have an easier time finding women.

Isn't it strange that Tomi Lahren felt the need to call out successful guys that her and her friends would be into, but these guys were passing them up for girls who were 5-15 years younger than them? The thotianas from gram. Wonder why that 28 year old, petite blonde girl was so mad that she felt the need to make 1/3rd of her video about successful men dating younger girls. Crazy stuff happening out there, right?

Isn't it strange that when we look at people's magazine 's list of world's sexiest men NEARLY ALL BUT 2 are 30-60 year old men.

And even with those two 20something year old guys, no guy younger than 30 has been deemed sexiest man alive in the last 2 decades. And nearly every guy on that list has dated or married a girl 5-20 years younger than them.

Yet, the ONE female to be deemed "sexiest woman alive", was Kate Upton, a hot, young, blonde with huge tits at age 24 at the time.

crazy how all these 30+, 40+ and 50+ guys can be deemed sexiest men alive, yet the only sexiest women alive falls into the 20s age range. Strange how women of all ages voted these age range of guys to be most desirable, while men of all ages voted for the 24 year old with huge breast. Wonder why that is. Can't be that men's value increases with age. It couldn't be that women are more valuable when they are younger. That's just crazy 🤪talk.

kamikazes9x · 2020-09-17T11:25:36+00:00

A lot men hit their Money Status Game in their 30 .

sublimemongrel · 2020-09-17T11:49:22+00:00

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John_Oakman · 2020-09-17T11:42:27+00:00

Relationships with significant age differences tend to also have a difference in power dynamics, and often that comes with exploitation.

Society is far less tolerant of such exploitation these days. Not to mention there are economic alternatives available for the historically vulnerable parties.

P0tat0eater · 2020-09-17T16:26:16+00:00

It’s normal for men to be physically attracted to women in their twenties. But, as a woman in my mid thirties I have noticed one thing about men who actively pursue much younger women - they are interested in women in their early twenties mainly because they are easier impressed than women their own age. It’s usually a weird power thing mixed with low self esteem on the side of the man. They want to impress and want adoration.

Women in their thirties are likely just as far in their career as men so aren’t as impressed with nice cars, fancy diners etc.

I agree - in my early twenties I was not attracted to men in their thirties. They were creepy and just not appealing so I completely get it. You hit the nail on the head when you said you get women are less independent and that’s part of the reason for the attraction. I’m glad you can see through things!

2020-09-17T11:36:21+00:00

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Urbantexasguy · 2020-09-17T15:57:55+00:00

It IS creepy. I'm in my early 50's and married, but if I were to become single again, I wouldn't date any women more than about 7-10 years younger than me.

Stay in your lane!

JohnDoe9564 · 2020-09-17T11:38:50+00:00

Older men dating younger women has been the norm for pretty much the entirety of human history. It's only over the past 50 years that this practice has been labeled "creepy".

Rich and successful men quite frankly dgaf and will still date whoever they want, only unemployed women on Reddit complain about this.

Classic_Touch · 2020-09-17T19:43:35+00:00

So glad the ladies now are finally starting to wise up. I thankfully found it (still find it creepy even at my age) creepy in my earlier years. I would feel really dirty when older guys made comments or cat called me. Especially when I wasn't even 18 yet.

Brainless-Wonder · 2020-09-17T23:49:46+00:00

To get back to the last part of your comment, if you’re asking me personally no, when I’m in my 30’s I’m probably going to want to be with someone roughly my age (in my mid 20’s now, for reference). I understand that I’m a little old-fashioned and a romantic when it comes to this, but I’ve always liked the idea of seeing life with someone who’s my equal, someone who challenges me, and someone I can grow old with; I just don’t find that in a younger woman. I recently was dating someone just 4 years younger and it felt like there was a whole generation between us (fresh outta college vs. a few years in the professional workforce is pretty drastic).

I think women will always be attracted to older men because worldliness, status, and material possessions offer that inherent feeling of security and confidence that women tend to find attractive, but that gap is probably closing as women have entered higher education and the workforce, even surpassing men in the former. Whereas you probably would have seen an early-20-something girl with a late-30’s man maybe 20-30 years ago, the overall “protective” climate surrounding sexuality and the increase in women’s personal affluence since that time is probably what’s led to a reduction of such pairings. My pet theory is that it will still be common amongst lower class women, but middle class educated women will likely still continue with the strange and undefined pairing behaviors of today (unspecified flings and general hooking up until they maybe stumble into marriage), albeit with someone closer in age now that they don’t feel the need for an older, more established man to support them.

Is this a bad thing? The age gap reduction, no. Step up your game, fellas. We got this. If anything I think the “undefined flings and hookups” culture is what’s screwing us.

VasiliyZaitzev · 2020-09-17T11:51:18+00:00

most younger women are aware of the fact that it's pretty weird that a guy 10+ years older than them would rather be with them than a woman closer in age to him, who has more in common with him.

It's not weird at all. In fact, it makes perfect sense on a genetic level - men prefer youth and beauty in women because they are markers of fertility.

Basically, there are three types of young women:

A. Those that only want a man near their own age, and the thought of a guy more than four years older is “grody" or whatever the kids say. That’s fine, they are perfectly entitled to their preferences just as we are to ours, and older men will NOT be getting girls from this group. This sounds like where you are.

B. Those that prefer a man near their own age, but are open to an older man. These girls can be fun, but in general, relations with them will be short term and then they (or the guy) will wander off, because, hey, it was fun, but now it's over.

C. Those girls that actively prefer an older lover. Maybe because he has $, maybe because he's a "finished product" and won't do dumb shit/get jealous/fly off the handle, etc. The girls in the third group have to keep their preferences quiet because the girls in the first group shame them for it.

None of my friends have ever hooked up or dated anyone more than 5 years older than us, we all think it's pretty weird when guys in their thirties approach us

Any of your friends who were open to older men (Group C) are going to shut up about it because the others will shame them for it, as I noted.

As an older guy who dates/mates/plates younger women, I understand that that a clear majority of young women are going to disqualify me based on my age. That's fine. But the young women who dig me are reaaaally going to like me. A lot.

So an older man who prefers younger women is going to have to do what, well, any man has to do: find the pool of girls who likes him and then date/mate/plate women from that group.

Karmanger · 2020-09-17T11:31:48+00:00

Maybe, however I thought women aren’t a hive-mind and each woman acts individually. You and your like minded friends might feel that way however there are still women who do it.

As long as even one woman dates a guy 10,20,30 years older it will never not be a thing.

2020-09-17T11:58:13+00:00

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Skycat9 · 2020-09-17T14:50:38+00:00

Guessing you’re American? Here in Europe it’s not unusual at all for men to date women 10 years younger or more

rft24 · 2020-09-17T17:48:26+00:00

as a 20 year old woman, i completely agree. i find the idea of dating a guy older than my brother weird. idc if he’s handsome or has a lot of money, it’s still weird.

i just can’t get past the difference in life stages & the fact that most older guys expect you to be naive & moldable or easy to manipulate. even if they don’t necessarily have those intentions, i still don’t like it. i assume there’s a reason you’re not going after women around your age & it’s probably because they don’t tolerate something in you that you expect younger women to tolerate.

XtoDoubt · 2020-09-17T11:32:21+00:00

You are not women in general.

the_purring_jew · 2020-09-17T11:31:23+00:00

i dont think you know what the word inherent means, since obviously its not "inherent" if it was perfectly normal and standard for all of human history for young women to be with men that much older an more without a cavil even up to 10 yrs ago

the attitudes expressed by you and your age mates are extremely novel and frankly, retarded

TheSagesIntern · 2020-09-17T16:25:59+00:00

How about we let everyone do what they're interested in and quit labeling everything?

Some girls are into older guys. Cool.

You and your friends are not. Cool.

If its legal and consensual, there's no need to judge or label other people's relationships just because it isn't for you. What they want or need out of a relationship just isn't the same as you, and that's fine.

2020-09-17T12:51:51+00:00

The problem with this thinking is that young women call everything they dont like creepy. What is the practical concern for what is creepy if they also find half the men their own age creepy lmao.

Sea-Buffalo · 2020-09-17T16:55:27+00:00

The only people who see it creepy or push they narrative is older women to keep men from dating younger.

If you are a older man you can get women in their 20s all day long if you have something to offer. If you are good looking or have money they won’t see you as creepy.

I have a sailboat and offer to take college girls out and some call me creepy and some take up the offer.

A older man dating a younger women is no different than dating one the same age, it’s all about what you have to offer them.

Red pill 101

steauengeglase · 2020-09-17T11:30:13+00:00

It's not creepy. Women in their 20s are hotter. Period.

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arcticshqip · 2020-09-17T15:29:18+00:00

I really find it hard to believe that someone would date someone older just for resources. If having a car is that important then get one. I'm really old and my friends relied for themselves for resources and looked for other qualities in men when we were young.

asdf333aza · 2020-09-17T16:11:41+00:00

The word "creepy" in regards to age means ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.

If he is good looking OR has something else going for him, but he is 32 and she is 22, than he is HOT.

If he is not good looking or has nothing going for him, but he is 32 and she is 22 than he is creepy.

IF A GUY is the same age as her 22 and 22, and he has nothing going for him and he isn't attractive, he is creepy.

The only thing that defines someone as being creepy is if the girl finds him attractive or not. A dude could be the same age and status as a female and still be found creepy.

_Woodrow_ · 2020-09-17T18:16:40+00:00

Most women have always found it to be weird (along with a sunset that likes it). I think you’re just talking to some outliers.

distraff · 2020-09-17T19:31:08+00:00

Cultures change, and the difference between the genders is shrinking including the age gap. Women earn money too and its less common for women to be with an older man for financial reasons. I guess people will just have to date people around their age. Not much of a tragedy if you ask me.

totallyCrazy006 · 2020-09-17T20:54:59+00:00

I'm not sure why you think it's not going to happen. I'm in my mid 50s and haven't had a relationship with anyone over 25 in the last 20 years.

vial_of_music · 2020-09-17T21:12:44+00:00

i feel like nowadays anyone in the mid-late 20s can “achieve the fancy things” that only men in their 30s could provide in the past?? like as a women in her early 20s there’s no way in hell i would date someone in their 30s, i don’t care about wealth or status, something is super off to me if a man is dating a women like ten years younger than him, it’s a red flag. why don’t women his own age date him? and why would he want to date someone so much younger and in a different place of life? that to me is just so strange. i would much rather date someone who is in the same page of life of me and would want to experience new things with me as well.

SaBahRub · 2020-09-17T21:26:38+00:00

“In the past it was easier for 30+ men to date much younger women, now it’s much harder because younger women don’t and will not have to depend on a man for money because jobs and legal/medical autonomy”

There we go

nifty_mick · 2020-09-17T21:59:06+00:00

I was never interested in girls younger than me for this exact reason. I was the opposite. I'm 35 now, throughout my life I would date woman a lot older than I was, maybe 10-15 year age gaps and these women were freakin hot, fit, career driven and matched the same physical drive as me ;-) I remember I was 25 dating a 40 year woman. Good times.

Copperstoner · 2020-09-17T22:01:22+00:00

I’m not in the 30+ age bracket yet, but in my personal experience it’s just getting easier with women.

Like there seem to be many 18-20 year olds attracted to me now, while my situation was very different 5 years ago.

But this could also be caused by the women I’m attracted to. As I’m more into the intellectual outgoing, but not really party type. And this type of women seems to be really into the additional experience/stories of travelling.

SteveSan82 · 2020-09-17T22:47:34+00:00

Late 30s almost exclusively dating 18-25 year olds. It's easy. You just go up and talk to them.

Older women always lie to younger women. Crabs in a barrell.

geo_gan · 2020-09-17T23:09:23+00:00

Men remember, any time any woman uses the inflammatory word “creepy” (and it is used a shit load in any of the female centred reddit groups) it is 100% a shaming tactic and a controlling tactic. It is used to control men, to bend their behaviour to the preferred behaviour which suits women best. But remember this is only to control the unattractive betas, this rule is not for Chad. It controls betas so they are not bothering women by even attempting to go near them. Chad is supposed to know to ignore this rule and shaming tactic.

2020-09-18T06:25:31+00:00

I feel like at 25, all bets are off. Sure, if you're 40 and dating a girl in/fresh out of college, that's a little weird. But at 25, your brain is fully developed, and you've had at least a few years to get acquainted with working life, and you're probably pretty fucking independent.

It's weird when I see people say "oh he's 40 and she's 28, he's such a creep", when she is 100% a fully formed adult.

And for what it's worth, I've always had better luck with girls 2-5 years younger than me (not that I've generally dated girls much younger than me, they just seem to be more interested than girls my age on average), and I'm in my mid-20's. I don't know if I'll be dating 20 year olds when I'm 35 (would probably be too annoying for me to handle), but I wouldn't be surprised if there was the occasional mutual attraction at that age.

MrHerbSherman · 2020-09-18T07:07:25+00:00

How do you not know any girls who date older men it’s seriously so many of them

Oh yeah if you ask any of them tho, they don’t date older men, the ones they dated were just exceptions lmao

Yeah no shit, if you’re an older man you definitely have to be the one she’s making an exception for, it’s definitely not easy

SavingsStrength0 · 2020-09-17T12:01:18+00:00

Guys think being with a 20 year old is some kind of achievement when it’s not. I was very impressionable in my 20’s and im glad to say I’ve matured more as I’ve gotten older and it’s great. Men might see a guy in his 40’s with his arm around a very young girl and be in awe of it, thinking they want to aspire to be like him and have what he has. Most older women are just looking at it and rolling their eyes because we have been there before and see it exactly for what it is and find it extremely pathetic. The man is definitely extremely immature to say the least and I’m sure these same dudes who look up to him would be more than happy to see their own daughters with a guy that much older right? They would welcome him with open arms to their homes I’m sure..🤔 Same thing if their young son came home with a woman who could be his mothers age (I think they call them cougars now) bc if not then it just screams of hypocrisy. I’m glad times have changed and women are seeking out life partners and someone they can call a friend instead of how it was before where our survival was literally dependent on it and we didn’t have much choice or say in the matter.

erottawa · 2020-09-17T14:29:55+00:00

Any woman who dates a guy of any age because he has a "cool car" is a loser. So take that woman's life experience with a grain of salt.

I'm an older guy, mid-40s, and easily connect with women in their late 20s, early 30s. I don't think it has anything to do with resources (although I'm a successful lawyer, so maybe I am deluding myself). Instead, I think my ability to connect is simply due to emotional intelligence and facility with small talk. I find a lot of young guys these days are ridiculously shy about approaching women, and they are awkward when they do. Not all young guys, of course. But more so than 20 years ago. I think the digital age and excessive gaming has fucked up their ability to socialize.

asdf333aza · 2020-09-17T16:14:55+00:00

See all those super hot young girls on Instagram going to exotic places, sitting in fancy cars, and having appearing to have a lifestyle that they clearly cannot afford. Do you know who is paying for that lifestyle? Those 30-60 year old guys.

For every young girl in her 20s you see living a lavish lifestyle on Facebook or Instagram, there is an older and more successful guy in the background supporting it. And there is a lot of girls like that.

thetruthishere_ · 2020-09-17T11:47:03+00:00

Back in my 20's we didn't date older men. It was rare someone did. Its not new, Im almost 50. 'Older' was maybe 5-7 years not 15-20 years.

Those older men sure came after me and didn't give them the time of day and neither did my friends. They were coming after me by 15...

Its still more rarer today women dating 15-20+ years older.

BapAndBoujee · 2020-09-17T12:15:55+00:00

I’m a guy in my early thirties and sometimes have casual arrangements with women around 20 (not exclusively or anything, I date women in their late 30s too) and for me it’s super important to be up front and reliable with my intentions and assertions. The biggest difference I make when dating someone considerable younger is to ask them for their perspective more often and give them time and room to consider things where with someone my age or older would be confident they’d speak up on their own if something I did rubbed them wrong. I know when I was young I was made to feel insecure and guilty way easier than nowadays so I try my best to assure nobody feels pressured or lead on (for example I never signal to be interested in a romantic partnership with someone who’s in college. We’re at different stages of our lives, they’ll meet a whole lot of other people and discover new facets about themselves it’s just delusional and stunting to pretend otherwise). My best advice to young people is always to ask their friends for their perspective, they have your best interest at heart and know you well.

That being said the advantages of dating an older man (eg. me) that I heard about: more experienced, open-minded and considerate in bed, better personal hygiene and living arrangements (clean sheets and towels are nice to have on your bare ass), better at communicating expectations and less controlling around them, knows how to cook and read more books.

I’m aware this is very selective and that there’s controlling man-babies in my age bracket too as well as completely cool, emotionally mature and attentive young dudes. I’m one of those bohemian artsy types so there’s not exactly any financial incentive to dating me but I’m sure happy to drop a text to a friend to get who I’m dating a useful business connection they wouldn’t have had a lead into otherwise. Being broke and not knowing people who make things happen sucks, I’ve been there. It’s the least I can do.

Mrs_Drgree · 2020-09-17T12:19:41+00:00

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DBOLandDECA · 2020-09-17T14:38:17+00:00

I think the problem that people have with this is when they think of a 30+ yo guy, they're thinking of the average 30+ year old guy. Yeah, most guys as they get older start to lose value because they stop trying. TRPers hold themselves to a higher standard in a way because you're expected to keep bettering yourself (including your appearance) into your 30's. If you do it the right way, you should be more attractive in your 30's than you were in your 20's. It's just that the vast majority of guys aren't doing it the right way.

It's the same problem I see with women when they see TRP content and they think, "Hey, most women I know aren't like that at all." We don't think of "most women" when we think about what we want, we're thinking about the ones with high SMV.

Monstrobrhue · 2020-09-17T15:31:17+00:00

How's older women (35+) dating your men seen?

Nobody gives a shit... Actually, women celebrate. Go cougar!

Just another stupidity spread by Feminism. All that matters is what's convenient for women, not equality.

Vaca_Sagrada · 2020-09-19T13:17:22+00:00

'Creepy' is just womanspeak for unattractive.

Does not apply to attractive men whatever their age is.

asdf333aza · 2020-09-17T16:56:26+00:00

Isn't it strange that when we look at people's magazine 's list of world's sexiest men NEARLY ALL BUT 2 are 30-60 year old men.

And even with those two 20something year old guys, no guy younger than 30 has been deemed sexiest man alive in the last 2 decades. And nearly every guy on that list has dated or married a girl 5-20 years younger than them.

Yet, the ONE female to be deemed "sexiest woman alive", was Kate Upton, a hot, young, blonde with huge tits at age 24 at the time.

crazy how all these 30+, 40+ and 50+ guys can be deemed sexiest man alive, yet the only sexiest women alive falls into the 20s age range. Strange how women of all ages voted these age range of guys to be most desirable, while men of all ages voted for the 24 year old with huge breast. Wonder why that is. Can't be that men's value increases with age. It couldn't be that women are more valuable when they are younger. That's just crazy 🤪talk.

Jathrowaway97 · 2020-09-17T12:36:21+00:00

TRP doesn't end up with over a million subs on it when they think they haven't been misled.

Yes it does for 3 main reasons.

1) Trp didn’t start out full of men who felt they were misled. It started off as a way to give men who were unsatisfied with their dating life an edge. It was a response to women’s game. Guidelines on how to make men’s game better.

2) Theres also men who knew what was up but didn’t like it. They knew that protecting and providing was a way to get women but they didn’t want to do that. They broke it down into a dichotomy “beta bucks” and “alpha fucks.” They’re betas who wanted to learn how to masquerade as alphas so they can have casual sex.

3) Theres probably quite a few men on there who didn’t have fathers or older male family members who talked to them about this stuff. These are the men who feel they’ve been misled. It’s not society’s fault that their parents didn’t do their job though.

And then feminism rolled around.

Feminism has been around for a while. I’m not sure what your point is?

lmao, yeah sure. Not enough 'Cuties' on the computer screen I suppose and too much Cinderella.

Are you talking about that pedo Netflix movie?

domperina · 2020-09-17T14:49:43+00:00

Sugar dating is alive and well. The only reason why it might be harder for men in their 30s today is that many of them aren’t that successful compared to younger women and can’t offer much. If he drives a Lamborghini, takes you out shopping for Chanel and pays your rent each month all of a sudden he seems less creepy.

paladine76a · 2020-09-17T14:54:56+00:00

You left out a critical detail. Women who go for older guys do so when they are single moms. I've known countless single moms who actively chased much older men because..... stability. Younger guys are still working towards that. Single moms want it now. They have their reasons. They will do anything for their kids.

On the flip side older men who are chased by single moms just see a hot piece of ass giving them attention. They know they are being used. Doesn't matter. Walking around with a much younger attractive woman is the goal...

akihonj · 2020-09-17T15:04:37+00:00

I've never had covid so by your argument it's a myth then.

2020-09-17T15:07:25+00:00

I remember when I was in college (engineering), we were 5 guys and 1 girl working on a group project. The girl was 20 and whenever she was bringing up her boyfriend she made it a point to mention, a few times, that he's 30. As if she wanted us to know she's dating an older guy. Seemed quite proud of it.

bappibhai · 2020-09-17T15:37:22+00:00

This isn't necessarily a bad thing but the problem is men most prefer the ages 18-26 for dating regardless of age

luna4762 · 2020-09-17T16:00:58+00:00

What confuses me is I’ve heard stories of men in their mid to late 30s dating/having flings with women in their early to mid twenties, and they ask her if she wants to have kids and she obviously says no and the relationship ends lol. I think unless you’re in the exact same page about what you want (family vs something casual) the age gap isn’t going to work and I agree with you that I’ve never met a guy in his 30s more attractive than my 20 year old peers

2020-09-17T16:12:34+00:00

There were more social commingling in the past between different age groups that facilitated these dating situations.

It wasn't unusual to have a job at 16 years old and be around more older people. People went out to malls and bars more instead of sitting at home reading Reddit.

TheX141710 · 2020-09-17T16:31:03+00:00

Nah, old guys are attractive if their attractive... ugly guys with anything short of amazing radiant confidence are seen as creepy regardless of age. It’s one of the harsh realities of life. You’re creepy if she doesn’t find you physically attractive in some way, otherwise you’re not.

asdf333aza · 2020-09-17T16:31:45+00:00

You girls think the TRP tells guys to just turn 30 and thing will go your way, and literally almost no RP guy is preaching that. They tell these guys to work out, make money, build a career or business. So by the time these guys hit 30 they are high value.

And girls start wanting to date guys their own age around their 30s, but as hvms, these guys don't have to date girls their own age. They can date younger. Look at Leo DiCaprio and Bradd pitt for examples. When guys have money and status, they can date younger. And those guys are outliers and they typically do cause the girls are more valuable when they are younger. Thats just life.

Think about high school. Remember when you guys became seniors? All the senior guys were running through the freshman, sophomore and junior girls like a hot knife through butter. Just tearing em up. Almost none of em made it out of high school with out losing their virginity to an older guy. Even the geekiest of senior guys, who were losers among their own grade, were able to pull a cute freshmen. Simply cause being older gave them status over the female. That's why prom and other senior dances were filled with underclass females. Ever heard of the phrase "high school never ends"??? It's the same damn thing just older, with larger age gaps.

Even if it's by 1-3 years for the average guy. Once a guy has more status, he can make it 1-7 years. Once he gets even more than that he can probably snag a girl 10 years younger. And if he is millionaire style like. Hugh Hefner, Leonardo DiCaprio and Brad pitt, guys with that kind of status and power can date women 20+ years younger than them.

Iluvalmonds83 · 2020-09-17T16:33:21+00:00

I would say the days where age gap relationships motivated by economic reasons are going away because women are now in the workforce and getting higher education. But an age gap relationship because of life stage / maturity compatibilities is still going to exist. I don’t know if it’s all that common still, but stereotypically men will want to start settling down later in life compared to women who have similar future life plans (marriage , starting a family, etc), so that makes me believe the gap will still exist and not always for “creepy” reasons.

throwaway91078 · 2020-09-17T16:51:52+00:00

Reaching his 30s doesn't make a man more valuable, only more "exploitable". The increase in success is only a result of 30-something women now looking for that aspect and younger women looking to a older figure with more "life experience" and sugar daddy capabilities. Looks wise men prime is around 25yrs old, so no they don't get better after 30, only more of all-around asset.

An argument could be made that reaching her thirties for a woman definitely makes her less valuable since men choose women for their looks and looks can only go one way once she's past her prime. Nobody cares about her career, education etc. Men care about her past, looks, personality and upbringing.

LotBuilder · 2020-09-17T17:41:01+00:00

Some girls have zero interest in older guys and some girls only date older guys.

Pastelitomaracucho · 2020-09-17T18:37:41+00:00

My experience is not like that

i_love_virgin_galact · 2020-09-17T19:19:36+00:00

Where are the places that you get approached to the most? And what lines are they saying?

justme4433 · 2020-09-17T19:30:55+00:00

This is a pretty common stereotype for age gaps. Generally, it probably is true, but not always.

You make it seem like older men can’t possibly be physically attractive, or more so than a younger guy, and I’ll tell you that is so false. In my early 20’s, I was physically more attracted to 30+ men, they seemed more mature when I was younger, and guys my age felt like teenaged boys to me still. The maturity of the woman plays a huge part in the partner she picks, and vice versa. I also had a kid when I was 17 so I felt like I was 25 already then.

Now, in my 30’s, my boyfriend is 18 years older than me, and no, it’s not creepy. We’re consenting adults, the physical attraction is there, and we do have a lot in common. We never run out of things to talk about, watch our favorite shows together, he’s in good shape and we have no differences in physical capabilities, AND it’s not about money. We both have our own places and pay our own bills, we just enjoy spending time together, and when I reached my 30’s, I realized a lot of guys my age are still not very grown up, some even still live at home with their parents, and I don’t need that.

So basically it’s what you make of it. Some people’s intentions are to date for status and money etc, some people actually just want a wholesome relationship with someone with no bullshit. I found men in their 40’s seem to be in their prime, they’ve matured and have more experience in relationships/family stuff, they’re established in life/career (to me that means they’re more secure about who they are) done with games and just want to be happy. I’ve dated so many losers my age too over the years, honestly older men seem to have that chivalrous quality that Seems to be dying with each generation, and I want to appreciate that; it’s nice to be treated like a woman once in a while and to feel special, it makes you want to do more for him as well, and so many younger guys don’t really do that because of feminism and shit. He does not make me feel inferior or helpless and he supports anything I want to do independently. That’s my perspective I guess. And you’re taking about the guys on reddit; there are way more guys not on reddit who are not pigs lol.

00Starved00 · 2020-09-17T21:33:24+00:00

Because it is creepy.... and there really isn’t much benefit to it anymore. It’s not like men 30+ even make an attempt to be financially stable or secure anymore, so what is the point. A lot of older guys just can’t impress women their age...

BROWN-TOILET-PAPER · 2020-09-17T22:36:24+00:00

It's funny because since I've been looking at the sub over the past several months, a lot of women here have mentioned they have significant age gaps in their marriages. Looking for them in this thread, can't find them.

NPC55 · 2020-09-17T23:15:50+00:00

How big of an age gap are we talking about? At 22 I definitely struggled finding other women my age to date. Now at 30 it is pretty easy to go out with women that age. Of course, getting the attractive ones is still tough, but even that is easier now than it was when I was younger. So in my experience your claim doesn't hold true, at least for an 8 year age gap.

If you weren't a good looking guy when you were younger, then the money/lifestyle you develop (assuming you lifescript correctly) when you are older more than make up for any disadvantages stemming from an age gap. It isn't even remotely close. Maybe guys who were young studs see a bigger decline in their success since they have more ground to lose from aging, but I wouldn't know. I just don't find your claim true for the average guy who is somewhat successful in life.

Edit: You could be right that it was even easier in the past. I have absolutely no idea about that. But I don't think it is that hard to do nowadays as your post implies.

joesmithasdf · 2020-09-18T00:51:10+00:00

It depends mostly on looks. I meet mostly 18-25 on apps and they’re half my age. Nobody ever cared about my age because I look appropriate for them physically. Ngl I’m pretty immature so it’s not so bad a combo. I mostly date quiet, introverted girls.

cydestiny · 2020-09-18T01:43:07+00:00

Because it is harder for man to stay single after 30 given all different kinds of social media/apps that help facilitate that. Hence, the leftovers are usually divorced man or man who are not selected, only a small portion who is really of value and stayed single deliberately, also some who stayed single because of you-know-what reason.

So it is not weird that young woman are not attracted to most of the man at this age group. If guys are just waiting to hit thirties to bang all the chicks, he's not going to.

And you have the perception that younger chick date 30 man less because most of the time, relationship like this is usually not on social media. High value / profile man has a lot of string attached (don't ask how I know), so it's much discreet.

When a well-build guy hit on you, you won't even know or care about his age. Only until when the attraction ends that you will find a thousand reasons why he's not for you, and that includes the age gap that might be there all this time.

Jonny2266 · 2020-09-18T02:52:23+00:00

I think this is way too simplified. Girls that are only a few years out of college, if they went, tend to still have a cohort mentality and "new to the real world outlook" so anyone more than a few years older may not be in their radar. But around 25 or so and with time spent living in the real word and not "post-college," it seems women are a lot more open to dating older men, with a 5-10 years age difference being fairly common.

This also a lot more common in larger cities where attractive, successful men have more options and take longer to settle down. May not be as true in smaller towns, though.

cvslengthbucketlist · 2020-09-18T03:03:37+00:00

The million dollar question is: if age gap couples between younger women and older men are so rare, then why do women spend so much time and energy shaming them and worrying about what other people do? That seems counter-intuitive on the face of it. I hate to say "mate guarding" but that's what the attitudes reflected in this post feel like.

Also, why would there be so many posts on relationship and advice subs with age gaps? And every woman giving advice in those subs seems to have their own story of dating older men. Keep in mind these posts only represent the people in dire enough straits to ask for help, which means it's merely a small fraction of the actual number of couples with age differences out there.

BTW, it's hard to make the argument "men in their thirties look considerably physically worse than those in their twenties" without also being forced to concede that the same is generally true for women, so that older women age gaps should also be creepy in your opinion. But I imagine that would be easier for you to admit since you don't have a personal stake in preventing older women from dating younger.

infonymfo1993 · 2020-09-18T05:36:55+00:00

1oo bucks you or your friends are lying

LooseIndication · 2020-09-18T06:03:33+00:00

No. Any 30+ man that has problems dating younger women, has problem dating any woman in general. It is not because of his age.

chlor0phil · 2020-09-18T15:15:57+00:00

Lol yup, meanwhile I'm 36 and there are ladies my age going out with dudes in their forties. There's a lot going on with this though...

First, there's the general "life-script" expectation that once you hit 30 (regardless of gender) you're supposed to be getting serious/respectable about your lifestyle, career, and partner. I don't ascribe to this but I recognize it in a large percentage of muggles especially my ex (who is my age) so I'm a bit biased here. So: when a man of a certain age wants to get with a younger woman, presumably just for a casual thing, he's refusing to get with the program and will be seen by the scriptmongers as having Peter Pan syndrome or being generally immature.

Brings me to point 2: Maturity. When I bring up the age gap thing with female friends, the usual rationalization (dodging the resources aspect) is that "women are consistently ahead of men in emotional maturity at any age from teen to adulthood, so OF COURSE we prefer older men." Which may be valid, but I wonder how many women are really attracted to equal maturity vs those that need a partner MORE mature than them. Like the height/strength thing, the income thing, the power/status thing, etc. That's going to turn into a separate post about how egalitarian feminism collapses on contact with the reality of women's own sexual standards/preferences.

And finally, accelerating generational differences for social norms and interactions. Attitudes about sex and social issues tend to cement between puberty and early adulthood; behavior that was normal 20 years ago when I was a teenager is either inappropriate or done way differently now or even 10 years ago when today's 20somethings were teens. And for better of worse it changed way more between 2000-2020 than it did from 1980-2000. I blame social media, the dating app hellscape, the mainstreaming of radical feminism, late-stage capitalism circling the drain, all these little Muppet-looking crustpunk wokester kids refusing to get off my damn lawn etc etc.

heycool- · 2020-09-18T20:09:48+00:00

I noticed a lot of posts like this come from mostly women. It makes me wonder if some of the women are just angry deep down, because men say they age better in terms of dating and are still able to attract younger mates. Notice I said some of the women, I know not all of the posts by women are for this reason. I’m not going to assume everyone is the same like the op is with this post.

When I see posts like this, it never criticizes couples with a large age gap, it only points out that it’s creepy when the man is older. What about the whole cougar and cub situation, where it’s the woman that is older, is that not creepy? Of course I know it’s probably less common, but it’s still out there.

Another thing, some people click well regardless of their ages. People may be late bloomers, or more mature for their age, and are able to match well with someone older or younger than them.

I don’t understand why people are so critical about other people’s relationships. If you think it’s creepy, that’s you, worry about yourself and date someone your age if you prefer.

Edit: spelling correction

Tongue37 · 2020-09-19T02:49:18+00:00

Ehh if you are a above average looking guy and are in good shape in your early 30s and you are remotely charismatic, it's pretty easy to have sex with girls in their early 20s. I mean, humble brag here but I've never been an outgoing guy but girls in their 20s used to approach me and they are very easy to "game".. I'm not saying all are but if you carry yourself a certain way, I don't care if you are broke, you will still find girls in their 20s willing to fuck you. It's very easy to make girls in their early 20s feel very special 😂😂

Btw when I was in my early 30s I'd never date an 18 year old. It would be a one night casual thing and that's it. Same goes for the girls in their early 20s

Many black pillers will back me here but it's all in how you look and act as a guy in his 30s trying to bang younger girls

Iron-Giant169 · 2020-09-22T11:53:33+00:00

Hookers and VR y’all

Theseus_The_King · 2020-09-23T17:49:04+00:00

The reason why all these older guys who date super young women are usually losers is because the younger women are easily impressed and not ready to commit. The same age peers of those guys have established jobs and are likely marriage ready, and the women of that age are established too and ready to vet if the men are marriage ready. The loser men who aren’t established know that their same age women are likely to vet them for marriage, and they have no chance but failure with them. Instead they go for younger women, where the fact you play a guitar, can buy white claw and smokes, and drive is enough to impress , and they won’t vet for commitment as they’re too young.

petrichordium · 2020-09-17T11:50:23+00:00

Guess what the girls who fuck and date older men don’t fess up and blast it to brunch acquaintances who are super judgy about it?

As a guy who has generally dated younger women it is RARELY the normie women who are into you. It is either women more precocious (and thus fun to talk to) or just wilder (and thus fun in other ways). Notice i said nothing about less attractive or smart. If anything I think highly intelligent women are often drawn to older men.

Basically your specific friend group probably would have been judgy little ponces about it back in the day too, just with a less pop feminist and more church marm vocabulary.

Skadi793 · 2020-09-17T13:15:35+00:00

That hasn't been my experience at all. I have a buddy who is 54 and he is dating a 20 year old

I get a lot of attention from women 15-20 years younger than me

it depends on how you look (I'm in shape, the same weight I was at age 18, dress well, relatively handsome) and how you carry yourself. Also depends on your socioeconomic status. Mine is very high

BROWN-TOILET-PAPER · 2020-09-17T18:26:07+00:00

Most women are creeped out by being approached by any man they aren't attracted to, regardless of his age. They could have the same birth day and it wouldn't matter.

I've dated much younger women while in my 30s. I didn't go looking for them either, they opened up to me. They certainly didn't find me creepy. You like what you like, you don't what you don't. Whatever. This age gap crusade that I see bubbling up over the past year, is just more feminist hysterical bullshit of the year. Keeping the feminist engine running by any means necessary.

You know what's creepy? Getting hit on by a gay dude. Whatever. You deal with it and you move on. Not ask the world to bend over backwards for you.

*Downvoting is against the rules, and creepy.

Mrs_Drgree · 2020-09-17T13:35:22+00:00

[removed]

fredwester · 2020-09-17T14:35:16+00:00

I wonder how much of this is a cultural thing.

I'm from the UK and wealth doesn't really seem to matter much to the women that I encounter.

In general, they'd be much more interested in a guy with 75k Instagram followers than a guy with a 75k salary.

I can't find evidence of the "women seek out money" stereotype.

medlabunicorn · 2020-09-17T15:42:04+00:00

Yes. It’s too bad for the guys who are now in their 30’s and 40’s, who let themselves get old based on a social structure that was dying even when they were younger, but🤷🏻‍♀️

It was always creepy. It’s just that more people are figuring it out.

Physiologist21 · 2020-09-17T16:02:29+00:00

Too bad no one cares. The old guys railing pretty young things don't care, and the young things hot enough and valuable enough to attract high value older men don't care.

As usual the only time people care is when they are jealous. Tough shit, no one cares what you think about consenting adults.

"hereas my mid-thirties friend (who was a gorgeous, popular girl) told us she used to date a 32 year old loser when she was 18 because he had a car and was in a shitty band. I just can't comprehend it."

...You can't comprehend it? Really. Jesus you don't know anything about how females operate, aren't you a female?

This post TDLR; I can't compete, must shame.

Christian_Kong · 2020-09-17T16:59:42+00:00

In my experience the only ones who seem to have a problem with such dating gaps is women. Typically because they feel the older guy is being manipulative. Yeah sister, there is no reason this older guy would be into this scalding hot 23 year old other than his ability to manipulate her.......

carlsberg24 · 2020-09-17T17:00:42+00:00

I now know it's kinda creepy for a mid-thirties guy to want to hang out with much younger girls.

You simply believe uncritically something someone told you because that's the feminist philosophy du jour. You don't really know anything though. It will be a while before you learn to think for yourself.

midwesternMD · 2020-09-17T17:32:06+00:00

Mid-30s man. I never thought to try hitting on 20-somethings in passing, and COVID kind of shut down a lot of opportunities for me. But I can say that online dating pre-COVID was a piss-poor experience. Lots of swiping, chats that went nowhere, maybe 1-2 first dates per month, 1-2 new sexual partners per year, and 1 shorter relationship per year. In fairness, those relationships may have had longer term potential if I hadn’t been doing some moving/life changes.

I’m fortunate to be successful enough to dabble in dating sugar babies though. And the “dream” of ample and attractive 20-somethings is true in that setting. Some of my sugar babies were more “poor,” but others were struggling to reign in their upper middle class lifestyles with their first post-college entry level job. A 50k salary only got them so far downtown.

Dominemm · 2020-09-17T17:34:23+00:00

Okay, as someone actually with this dynamic everyone can get off their high horse.

I’m 27, my boyfriend is 43. He does currently make more money than me, and pays for most of our dinners out, but I’m not being lavished in gifts and vacations and I will our earn him by next year because I’m a lawyer and he’s a teacher. For the most part we have an extremely normal relationship, that it’s not characterized by his apparent creepiness, or my daddy issues, or any weird sugar baby set up.

We go to yoga together, we have our favorites on Netflix, I annoy him, he annoys me and we’re in love. Every time an age gap comes up everyone always puts their shit on it and makes assumptions about the inner workings, but I know 2 other girls with big gaps, and they are normal as fuck.

A 35 year old in the club with college students is weird, man or women. Even if they are just there to hang out, they stick out because they aren’t supposed to be there. But that’s very different form two consenting adults who are just living life. If someone it’s over like 25 than we can probably assume nothing about the situation, other than they’re in a relationship.

daddysgotanew · 2020-09-17T19:49:37+00:00

I’d be willing to bet you couldn’t tell the difference between most 20-30 year old men. We don’t age as drastically

CMOAN_MAYNE · 2020-09-17T13:47:47+00:00

It might be creepy for older men to go after young women. Young women are generally immature and less interesting, but they usually have significantly less baggage.

This post reads as an attempt to shame older guys into accepting baggage... just, no.