Went for a night out on the town with a friend of mine recently. He's single and hungry so we head to a pretty popular bar that's just opened up. It's the new trendy spot in town, and they have no shortage of tight, fit, young women.
As we arrive we see a group of our friends and go over for the pleasantries. We notice a couple of of tall, tanned brunette stunners, standing alone outside. They're peaking over every chance they get, looking around the bar, it's pretty evident they're waiting to be approached. One of them leaves to go inside and the other whips out her phone so she doesn't look like a loner.
My friend wastes no time going in for the opener, walks up to her and says "you look lonely" and she responds with a little laugh. They start going back and forth with a little banter, she's receptive. They're standing pretty close so I can hear most of their conversation, she's definitely interested. She's puts away her phone and gives him her undivided attention. He's flirting with her, asking questions and she's responding with some of her own, all the signs are positive. Her eyes are on him, her voice is enthusiastic, she's laughing, it looks like his little endeavor is heading for a favorable conclusion.
Fast forward about 30 mins and he's still chatting to her, still going back and forth, although I can see her body language is starting to fade. She's looking around more, not being as attentive. Her responses are less interested, less enthusiastic and she's starting to get bored. My friend is clearly picking up on this and tries to poke a little more but she's already thinking of her exit plan. Eventually she tells him she's gotta go find her friends. He goes for a Hail Mary and asks for her number. She reluctantly, but politely gives it to him, but I can see it's over, it's almost certainly going to be a double blue tick or wrong number.
What happened to him is what happens to most guys, he talked himself out of it. Bar's are a hyper competitive environment, it's a modern day meat market. She's being approached all night by hordes of thirsty men. She is hoping that one of them is going to be that fantasy guy, so if she is the slightest bit interested in you she'll be more than happy to hear you out, but only up until she can confirm that you're not. As she engages more, she'll deduct points. Every little thing that shows how average you are will take away more and more until she is able to disqualify you entirely. By the time he asked for her number he had already blabbed out so much unnecessary drivel that she pegged him as just another common bar boy.
The truth is once a woman hears out any man he's dull in comparison to her fantasies. Which is why you need use her desires as fuel instead of diffusing them. If the lay is on go for it but the majority of the time she'll be far more intrigued if you make your impact, give her a little taste and leave her longing for more. Quick, playful banter that ignites some tingles and then disappearing. For my friend this was after 15 minutes of playtime. She was still deeply engaged, lapping up every word coming out of his mouth. She didn't know who he was, what he did, where he came from, she just knew he was a handsome guy, with a confident, playful demeanor. He could have easily nicked her number and moved onto other women.
When he messages her, she'll be desperately curious, eager to find out more. She'll need to know who the cute, cocky mystery man from the bar really is. She'll jump at the opportunity to share a night with him to explore her fantasies further and hopefully obtain answers to her questions.
On a date, the playing field is entirely different to the intensity of a bar, you'll have her undivided attention. Her defenses will be lowered and she'll already be somewhat invested, the next few hours will be entirely committed to you. You'll have already built a bit of rapport while having ample time to steadily build desire. You just need to ride the momentum, have some shred of game and most of the time, you'll do ok.
Fantasy is a feature of the female mind rather than a bug. They're always wanting more, always wanting to figure you out, once they do it's over and the fantasy crumbles. The guy who's she's gonna run after is the one who she can't figure out. The one who remains a mystery and this is why I firmly believe in never laying out all your cards upfront. Give her short bursts and then pick it up later on so she can hamster about you in the meanwhile. Do this with many women, approach as much as you can and soon you'll have a roster of excitable women longing for more of your allure.
