TL;DR: All your actions and decisions are predetermined and you can influence the way you handle them at best. Do not be afraid.

Maybe it is because I used to study philosophy at uni or maybe this mindset just evolved on its own but I am a huge determinist. For those, who do not know what that means, here is a quick summary:

Determinists essentially believe that everything - from planetary movement to interactions of atoms (or whatever are the smallest currently known things in the universe) - is foreordained. Or, as the name says already predetermined.^1 Nothing is actually free for us to decide and even if we think we are deciding something or better changing something, it has actually been decided long before you even existed, before mankind even existed. This sounds very plausible to me because I am a strong believer in the laws of physics: Everything that happens is essentially caused by physical interactions, which in turn can be explained by the laws of physics, which in turn are logical and predictable.

Now apply this to humans making decisions,

i.e. our free will: Every thought we have, every emotion we feel and every action we take is essentially chemical or physical. Our neurons fire neurotransmitters and electrical charges, our movements are of kinetic nature and our bodily functions involve all kinds of chemical reactions. If you break these things down to their very core it comes down to atoms reacting with other atoms. These reactions are predictable. We might not be able to predict them yet, of course. But in theory we could. So the whole cosmos as I see it is an unimaginable complicated system of atoms reacting with each other basically because physics.^2

All our decisions are just the result of myriads of physical reactions and interactions. Libet and later Haynes carried out experiments to explore this phenomenon. They found out that the decision to act in a certain way is usually made as much as half a second before we consciously decide. In other words we decide to lift a finger or put down a glass or jump off a cliff but really that decision is already over. And even before that our brain “becomes ready” for decision making, i.e. the parts of the brain that are responsible for the decision become active, up to seven seconds before we consciously “make” a decision. For many this world view and these experiments might sound like or even prove that we are all inherently unfree in our decision making. Hardcore determinists think like that and in a way I agree.

But because we cannot predict these reactions yet and most importantly because we feel like we are the ones who make the decisions, I believe that we are still practically free. This is also to prevent anyone from saying “Eh, it’s all predetermined anyway so I might as well just quit caring about anything”. That is not what I intend to say.

To make it more plausible, I found a quote of Sun Tzu: He said “Every battle is won before it’s ever fought.” Can you feel the determinism in that statement? No matter how you decide, the outcome is already certain. Even your decision itself has already been certain before you even thought of it. But what to do with this knowledge?

Some practical application:

Imagine you have an important exam or test or whatever taking place today - a situation I face fairly often and I reckon many of you do or did, too. Now it could occur that you start doubting yourself as you are walking up to the classroom/ court room/ wherever. You think about all the things that could happen, you begin to imagine all the worst case scenarios, “all the what-if-I-fail”s. Classic. You know you studied hard or are well prepared in whatever way but what if..? Now the key point is: Ultimately, you do not know. Ever. You might be extraordinarily well prepared but your prof decided that it should be extra difficult to pass his class, so he serves you the hardest possible examination and you fail spectacularly. Or it all turns out differently and you get rewarded for your hard work and excel at the test.

Or you show up in the worst imaginable state. You did not study much at all but still decided to go out spontaneously to take the edge off the evening before and the last thing you remember is passing out next to a naked chick you picked up at a first semester party. You slept approximately 1.5 hours, your brain is a mushy dough that is sloshing against the interior walls of your skull and the last thing you want to use it for is formal logic. It might turn out as you expected and you fail so hard that you feel like apologising to the person that will have to correct your work.

Or your brain somehow manages to scrape together some bits of knowledge from this course and you smear them on your paper, hand it in and voila, a week later you get the notification that you passed quite respectably. All situations I have been in, one way or another.

What I am trying to say is, while the effective outcome of your actions might not be under your control, your mindset is (practically. According to hardcore determinists of course, it is not). I have observed countless students, who are trembling bundles of nerves prior to any exam. Their worries have worries. They are wasting DAYS worrying and overthinking. Needless to say that having this mindset will not do you any good in any situation similar to those described above.

Whenever I face an exam I walk in with brass balls that CLANC when I enter. I only have two thoughts:

I can not change the way this is going to turn out. It is what it is and it will be how it will be.

I do not know how it is going to turn out. It might be terrible. It might be phenomenal. Either way there is no point in worrying before time has come.

Think about Tzu’s quote: How the battle is going to end has already been decided. It is up to you how you deal with it. Needless to say that I fail almost never, even if it happens that I am poorly prepared. And if I do, I do not beat myself up. I try again. Apply this to approaching women. Apply this to every aspect of your life as you please. It will bring you serenity, calmness and composure and a clear and confident mind to face what comes.

Edit: As this stirred up some confusion, I'll try to expand the practical application:

Not knowing how things will turn out but knowing that they will turn out how they will turn out puts you in the position to choose between a winning and a losing mindset. You might as well be confident as Robert Downey Jr. giving interviews when you approach difficult situations. More than often this mindset pays off and you end up actually winning. If that was predetermined now or not is a question for philosophers to answer.

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^1 The essential difference to fatalism here is that fatalists believe that the outcome is the same, even if the way differs.

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^2 Now I am by far not an expert in physics and I might be having some wrong assumptions about the subject and there might be some new discoveries that I am not aware of, so if somebody is more of native in that science, feel free to correct me please. Also my philosophy studies lie already a couple years in the past and I did not practice much. If there is anyone who knows the subject better or whose knowledge is fresher and who has to add something, I'd love to learn. Anyway that does not influence the point I am trying to make.

Also see u/weezylane’s comment below for a better insight on the physics part than the one I gave.

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Also English is not my native language so I apologise if the grammar got weird while I tried to express my thoughts.