What tools and techniques do you use to internalize a frame?

johneyapocalypse · 2019-05-24T14:36:20+00:00

Death, near-death, death-defying experiences, intense treatments to help you avoid death, copious amounts of drugs, stoicism, envisioning the 7 billion people on this planet, 3.5 billion of whom are women, perhaps causing you to wonder - assuming that this is what you're so hot and bothered about - just what exactly is so special about your woman, who makes up precisely 1/3.5 billionth of the female population, especially when you consider that she's just a bag of bones covered by meat, decaying slowly (or rapidly) like the rest of us.

Plus:

Lifting a lot - intensely like your eyes will bug out and your heart will explode.
Adrenaline - flowing - a lot - causing you to wonder if you're actually about to meet that premature death I keep rambling about.
Stoicism, again - Marcus Aurelius, Epictetus, or scores of others.
Sex - lots of it, preferably with someone who's interested in having sex with you, otherwise you may have larger problems on your hands.
Fighting.
Winning a fight.
Losing a fight but giving it your best shot.
Accomplishing your goals.
Maximizing your mission.
Achieving your vision
Jumping from a plane, shark fishing, boating, jet skiing, skiing, snowboarding, double diamonds, travel, Europe, Hong Kong, hiking a mountain to watch a concert in the rain, doing cool stuff by yourself, doing cool stuff with your kid(s), being cool, looking cool, walking down the street and winking at every woman you see, going to the beach and having the best body within 1/4 of a mile, swimming in the ocean at night with headphones listening to Techno or Trance.

SBIII · 2019-05-24T21:20:49+00:00

There was a time, when the man was younger, just a boy. That boy lived from day to day, dream to dream, moment to moment. He lived to have fun, to laugh, to run wild with abandon. He lived entirely for himself. The world wasn't just his plaything, the whole fucking thing revolved around him. He was the epicentre of the goddamn universe.

He had vision - he knew what he wanted to be in life... one day he would be a famous football player. The best in the world. He was sure of it. This boy had no fear. He said what he thought. He had no inhibitions. His mind was free and his heart was joyful.

This boy had frame.

Somewhere along the line, this boy lost frame. It got diluted with other things - education, societal values, parents, TV, the media, government, employers, wives, friends, politicians - all started to creep into his frame, taking it over, watering it down until it no longer existed.

By the time he reached 35, he was married, had kids, a mortgage and worked 40 hours a week, 50 weeks of the year in the same office, with the same people, wearing the same clothes, eating the same lunch in the same canteen, day after day, week after week. He spent his evenings watching the same TV shows before sleeping in the same bed with the same woman who gave him the same shitty starfish sex if he was lucky and it was a good month.

His dreams no longer existed. He rarely had fun or laughed. The world no longer revolved around him. He felt like an entirely irrelevant speck of dust on a massive fucking planet in an even bigger galaxy. He was insignificant.

He no longer had vision. He was too old and too fat to be a famous footballer. He was full of fear and anxiety. He was afraid of his boss. He was afraid of his wife. He was afraid of the unknown. Sometimes even his kids made him afraid. He rarely spoke his mind. His life was full of inhibitions. He felt trapped and his heart was heavy.

This man had no frame.

Remember the time when you were once a boy.

Remember the dreams and the vision you had.

Remember the times you laughed and played and had fun and ran with wild abandon.

Remember the time when the world revolved around you and you were the centre of the universe.

Remember who you were before the world diluted you.

Remember that time.

Remember when you had frame.

helaughsinhidden · 2019-05-24T22:03:08+00:00

writing down positive affirmations 10-100 times a day

This is "reading the script", not even up to the level of role playing. Let me summarize what u/johneyapocalypse was getting at, you need to TEST yourself to find out if you will or won't break.

Stuff that developed MY frame will be different than you. Some of my examples include being in dozens of fist fights as a young man and winning, losing, and drawing. Being interrogated by police and beating a charge (don't ask!). Overdosing on LSD and making it back to reality. Learning a skill previously believed to be above me. Challenged myself to earn double my normal income in a single month by any means necessary. Mentoring kids that are truly experiencing the worst conditions in my area. Teaching a washed up, former crackhead heavy metal musician to become an above average sales person. Start a business, then proceed to succeed then losing everything and having to starting over. Free climbing without ropes, get stuck, and barely get back down safely. Took 12 stokes off of my golf game in 2 years. Win a poker tournament with 87 people in it. Overdose on drugs, cry out to Jesus, instantly recover and know I was heard and saved.

See, it's not enough to visualize or repeat words. You have to absolutely KNOW it's the truth. Within your own definition, if you were the "man you wish you were", what kind of things would you have on your list of accomplishments? Write THOSE down, do them. At the end of the day, having FRAME is really about whether you match up with your own definition of the best version of yourself. A man with unbreakable frame doesn't look to another man, a boss, friends, wife, plates, kids, or anyone else for approval because he authtically approves of himself and has the receipts to prove it.

NoCoast82 · 2019-05-24T14:33:16+00:00

The same place as discipline. Live in accordance with the frame you want to have and it will manifest itself.

Jocko On Discipline

Decide on your frame and live in accordance with it.

hack3ge · 2019-05-24T18:30:38+00:00

Frame may seem like this crazy, impossible thing you have to build. The crazy part is how simple it is - just always be answering the question “What do I fucking want / believe?” as long as that is always the primary driver of your decisions / actions / words you are in your frame. Don’t let anyone sway or judge you for what you want or believe.

HerukaArisen · 2019-05-25T17:10:49+00:00

I'm not sure how easy this is grasp, but I have found it helpful to view frame as a bodily or an embodied experience.

You can get a hang of this in simple situations, for example, when you are laying in bed with your wife, about to go to sleep. When you're thinking "I wonder if she wants sex?", you can feel how your mind is not "in you" but where your wife is. By contrast, when you're thinking "I want to have sex", you are most definitely "in your body". Similarly, compare how the thoughts "I wonder what she is thinking, feeling etc. right now?" feel in your body compared to "I am thinking X."

Why is this relevant? Because you can come back to your frame also by moving your mind to your body, for example, by thinking about your breath or how your body feels. In challenging situations, such as in arguments with your wife, you can literally pinch yourself on the thigh or bite your cheek and bring yourself back to your body (and frame) like this.

This is by means not the only way of "building" frame, but I've found it actually works.

HornsOfApathy · 2019-05-24T14:25:13+00:00

Sidebar.

Until your eyes bleed.

donmcde · 2019-05-24T16:09:52+00:00

That bitter taste of failure and the shittiness of the resulting situation when you fail to maintain frame should do wonders.

Title	What tools and techniques do you use to internalize a frame?
Author	Meeterpoint
Upvotes	13
Comments	25
Date	May 24, 2019 5:02 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askMRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/bscvrf/what_tools_and_techniques_do_you_use_to/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askMRP/what-tools-and-techniques-do-you-use-to.239630 https://theredarchive.com/post/239630