I posted previously here about an ex who despite many green flags confessed to cheating.
Ironically, it was a man who decided to check out of all romantic relationships with women who shared the best counsel of all my mentors.
I spoke to my Priest, a Spanish Priest in his 50’s.
He said son, this is is such a gift. A man’s days are like grass; he flourishes like a flower; the wind passes over it, and it is gone. (Ps 103).
You have very little time, you are looking for a partner for life and she is not one.
For now, you will not waste what little time you have. Think of her no longer, it doesn't matter what she thinks of you. She is gone.
Breakups are the perfect opportunities to apply these principles we all celebrate directly. How I handled these moments, would reflect the strength of my resolve.
Things I did right after the breakup:
- I've gone no contact, I have cut her like cancer from my life and kept only in limited and brief contact with her parents who I know through social circles.
- The few times I'm tempted to reach out, I throw myself into work, go lift or just write.
- I reinvested in my close male friendships, family and mentors
- I refocused on my fitness which is good but I needed to lift more.
- I spent some time in reflection, coldly identified where I fucked up as the man and the leader of the relationship, this was primarily in vetting; I gave my time too thoughtlessly and vetted only for three months. Secondly, I established how I can mitigate this from happening again, have abundance and be discriminating.
- I doubled down on my vocation. I've been killing it in my career, I hired more talent in my company, focused aggressively on B2B contract revenue and hit some big miles stones.
- I’ve made sure I continue my other passions. I'm learning to dance, I do some portrait sketches and continued authoring my book.
- I kept fucking women. I’ve added one plate on regular rotation with a few old flames I see once a month things on the side.
Without this community, I know it wouldn't have been so empowered with the knowledge to continue soldiering on.
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