Strategic Thinking Help Needed – Boundary Violation Consequences

SteelSharpensSteel · 2019-06-20T17:15:08+00:00

When you edit the post too many times the Automoderator flags it as spam and removes it.

johneyapocalypse · 2019-06-15T22:40:47+00:00

Dude, I started but couldn't finish. Besides I've been pissing around on here too much the last couple days.

Do our experiences really apply?

I'm a master boundary-maker, but one of my boundaries is my family lives with me, in my house and it has yet to be broken.

I forget why you're in these bizarre circumstances but I recall it's definitely because you're a pussy, the kind of guy who would say "flame away."

Deep down inside you recognize that the only boundary left is precisely the boundary you are so afraid of: handing her the papers.

You're only going to be on this planet once. Either you'll choose to demand self-respect (much different and more vital than respect) or you won't.

Stop believing that you're on some grand journey to re-engage your lost, forgotten, and noble manhood.

Either be a man or don't be a man.

You know the fucking answer, you just don't want to confront it

Edit: I read your original OYS. You are pathetic, particularly needy, and already know that your wife is a bitch, a bitch who's not interested in living under the same roof as you.

Do you know what a normal wife does when they don't see their husband in a while? They get upset. Not yours. Yours pines away for a new fucking horse, denying you your dumbass self-esteem-building Tesla.

Clearly, looking in the mirror and respecting the big, cool surgeon staring back is not on your list of priorities.

And for such a fucking smart surgeon, that you are unable to solve this stupid fucking issue on your own is, well, enlightening. I pity the poor bastards who go under your knife.

I know a lot about surgeons. So many assholes in one career it's astounding. So many saving the world, like god himself, virtually all with god-complexes, yet incapable of managing themselves. Too much time with your nose buried in books while your formative years passed like so many browning leaves in the fall. Time to make up for it, right? Buy her a horse, then buy her a house. But of course, endorse her plan to live under a different roof. And, of course, move to the town she wants to move to, reducing your salary to satisfy her whims.

"Rescue" her some more, as you so tritely say, when in reality you think you're rescuing yourself, from yourself, while succeeding in nothing more than the perpetuation of your own pathetic, misguided, self-pitying shitpile of a life and all its associated shitty behavior.

Here's an idea: rob a bank so you can finance her next horse, pay off her credit cards, and get her some jewelry.

Or maybe you can use your surgical skills to join the chinese organ harvesting trade.

Asshole.

RuleZeroDAD · 2019-06-16T04:23:53+00:00

I fucking hate giving advice to educated people.

Their delusions are manifold.

You currently have an overpriced nanny and prostitute, whose customer service is in question.

Your past decisions sucked. You need to allow her to fail and face the personal consequences of being a kept mommy. Her card has a spending limit. Let her max it out and find a way to pay the bill.

The penalty for insolence is discomfort, finding a new ATM, or heaven forbid, getting a fucking job.

You are Captain save-a-horse-hoe, and a taken-for-granted ATM.

Figure out what you want, or your kids will learn to manipulate you just as your wife has.

BobbyPeru · 2019-06-15T23:12:03+00:00

Way too much faggotry to read. She has zero respect for you. Zero.

You are in a very weak position. I would start looking at attorneys after the ccard incident (which is as far as I got)

helaughsinhidden · 2019-06-16T02:22:54+00:00

A horse woman?! Does the horse know she is cheating on it with you occasionally? Sorry bro, those chicks are crazy and you are the side piece.

andyturbo2000 · 2019-06-15T23:29:59+00:00

She knows you’ll do nothing and therefore behaves like there are no consequences. From your posts it’s sounds as if she thinks YOU should be grateful to HER for her to be in her life. Let her max out the card and burn her bridges down to the ground. Stop all other lines while she does this. Revel in the fact the credit will be shrinking and she’ll be worrying what to do next. Drip feed the dread “might have to lose the horse if you’re not careful”...etc. This is an expensive gamble but shit, so’s divorce.

amrit21chandi · 2019-06-16T04:29:32+00:00

You know what your problem is? You're still arguing with all of the People who are giving you genuine advices. You're trying to justify your actions as well as hers.

She doesn't deserve you. You don't need to put up with her or be better. Its never gonna work. No chance unless you're the first one to break the news to her that you want out of this relationship.

This is the only way. Bro. You need to get a lawyer and bring the paper to her bed. And then when she starts shitting on you. Do not fucking ARGUE. Like you were just doing now. Just STFU and say she knows what's going on and you're not happy with her.

If she really really care for this relationship you'll see a change. Do not falter. Do not argue. Do not be afraid.

You're acting like a kid. You act like a kid, you get treated like one. Listen to advice of people here and try to apply it on yourself. You tried to use your brain and you fucked. Now borrow something from here. You've nothing to lose. You're already lost. So only thing you can do is get a fresh start.

man_in_the_world · 2019-06-16T06:47:17+00:00

Calm down, Rambo. Panicking is beta; ignore the panicky advice from other recovering betas here and take a measured, dispassionate response, like you would with a child testing boundaries or throwing a tantrum.

Since you are no longer on the account, you don't pay the $1000/month into it; that's her immediate consequence. She'll have trouble getting the credit limit raised if she's not paying it off. Check with your attorney as to whether debt in her name alone will be all hers in the event of a divorce, and whether and how you can protect yourself going forward.

The longer-term consequences are that moving to the city with a massive pay cut is simply untenable with a financially irresponsible wife. This is the reality, your narrative, and your boundary. You must therefore shut down or permafreeze all actions or investments toward that, including your new house. Your boundary will be two years of continuously responsible financial behavior, living within what would be your reduced means, before reconsidering from the beginning the move to the city. When the current condo lease runs out, you will not renew it and will expect her to return to your town with your kids. And you will no longer finance their separate living after that time. You need not discuss these longer term consequences for a month or two, giving you time to prepare your financial vision and narrative, and to discuss with an attorney how to limit your liabilities in the event of a divorce.

Like the slow, step by step progression through the Levels of Dread recommended here for recovering from a lifetime of betadom, you should adopt a measured, step by step approach to correcting your financial faggotry. There's no need to panic, since these expenses are peanuts in comparison with the ridiculous outlay you're making for horse, two households, etc. You can afford to let her stew in her own consequences for a couple of months, and perhaps exhaust the patience and support of her parents as well, while you continue to improve.

MrChad_Thundercock · 2019-06-15T23:21:30+00:00

Why does your family not live with you ?

weakandsensitive · 2019-06-17T04:11:06+00:00

(It’s irrational.)

Uh... it's perfectly rational. She gives more of a shit about the horse.

and literally everything stems from there.

NoCoast82 · 2019-06-15T23:38:35+00:00

Between her $1000/week spending limit, and the cost of the horse she was earning 6 figures and only had to see you 2 days a week... your going to have a hell of a time talking her out of that deal. Or in other words your going to have to increase your value to the point that your presence in her life is more valuable then living the lifestyle of a horse girl.

On that note, do any of the books we all read mention that no man should ever marry a horse girl? You have a better chance of turning a hoe into housewife, then you do turning horse girl into a financially responsible adult.

SorcererKing · 2019-06-16T01:20:35+00:00

What would you do if a nurse broke so many of your rules at work? Yeah, do that.

ManguZa · 2019-06-16T08:50:04+00:00

She didn't follow your budget and even pull a fast one on you. You need to first call her on that until she own her responsabilities and apologize. Stay calm in front of the predicting yell and tears.

Move out with your family close to your job. Why the "where she want to live" matter when she don't give a shit about you? Definitely sell the house. It's a no brainer.

Inform her that if she don't cancel right now her fucking credit card where she accumulate a debt you sell the horse to refund it. And enforce that fucking consequence.

It's the turning point bro. Stop worrying about her choices and make your owns.

arm_candy · 2019-06-16T16:21:30+00:00

First off, learn how to write more succinctly. Jesus your post and replies to comments are like a fucking book.

You don’t have a marriage. There is no marriage here, maybe you never had one, who knows... but you’re providing for HER to do what SHE wants. There is so much she and her in this it’s sickening.

You can’t set a boundary right now - you’re unattractive and she gives zero fucks about you. Don’t threaten divorce - she won’t think it’s credible. Here’s what you do right now - nothing but STFU, lift, sidebar. Protect yourself financially for sure - give her the fixed amount each week like you did, if she racks up the CC that’s HER issue to deal with. Once you become attractive (minimum 6-12 months and probably longer), you’ll have options. Right now you have zero. You think you can control her, hahaha. That’s laughable. She has your balls in her purse as she rides her horse laughing to herself since she can ride Chad the stableboy once she’s done riding the horse.

Fuck you’re sad.

Were you /u/bobbyperu surgeon who kept saying happy wife happy life?

Edit: typing on a phone sucks.

Edit 2: a divorce is your best option but I know you’re too much of a faggot to go through with it. The advice above is what you may actually be able to pull off. In six months then you may have enough balls to divorce her.

ComteDeBetamax · 2019-06-19T20:30:30+00:00

UPDATE 2: Thank you, sincerely, to all who have taken time to weigh in. Mods banned me, work called, but I’m not going anywhere... There is A LOT of valuable input here from a lot of voices that I have processed and appreciate.

-----------------------------------------------------

<rant>

I originally made this post after coming up with a MISSION and a PLAN that I’m 2 months into: As prescribed, I work through 12 months of MRP, improving me, escalating dread and THEN see if I have a marriage or not. This post was about me starting to shore up my financial boundaries (that I let get out of control) and I made the post asking for specific advice on how to do that effectively against factors out of my control (credit card not in my name).

A lot of you are getting into a tizzy because I’m not going to abandon MY PLAN based on your EXTERNAL SOCIAL INPUT. Well, that behaviors not internally consistent with your missions fellas. Thank you for the input. I do me, fuck you and your group conformity. We’ve all got different risk tolerances and goals in the end.

This does not side step the OBVIOUS, which is that I’m in a deep fucking hole that MAY NOT have an exit, and I’m focusing on the smallest of many GIGANTIC issues at hand. Focusing on the bigger picture is necessary. I get it. But I’m starting. All your points may be valid and it may not be savable….I get it. But I’m going to put in the time to work on ME first.

This community has some great tools here THAT WORK for many cases...but you SURE AS HELL don’t have a big enough sample size to extrapolate out which cases you can save and which ones you can’t or know it’s limits yet. So skip the hubris, check your own ego, and gather another data point with me. I don’t know if it works either, but I’m willing to put in the effort and time.

But for god’s sake, either believe what you preach (MRP, 12 months, etc.) or fucking change your flair to “Hypocrite”….

----------------------------------------------------------------

“Hey broh, it’s dead on arrival. Just get your dick wet and wash away the oneitis”

Fuck that. That doesn’t fix anything. That doesn’t set ME up for success in the future. I was a spineless, passive-aggressive CUNT to my wife for many years. I need to own THAT SHIT, and live the life I want to live NOW, or set me up for a better on in the future. It doesn’t happen overnight. AND MY WIFE IS A REFLECTION OF ME. She used to like me, and now she doesn’t BECAUSE OF ME. So for fuck’s sake, I don’t expect any of this shit to change overnight.

And yeah, I’m going to analyze the fuck out of this. Because men use logic and their brains instead of just pushing the PANIC BUTTON and EJECTING out of a flying vehicle because it looks too scary and their emotions overwhelm them like a bitch. So everybody calm down.

-------------------------------

To all the claims I’m waffling and in my wife’s frame. We moved from a very specific question (credit card) to fixing ALL MY SHIT AT ONCE in 1 post. If we are going to deal with the bigger picture, then details and context matter. I felt like many gave a cursory look to my top OYS post and didn’t get the whole picture, so I was trying to provide context for the past (not make excuses for the present). Take a history and get the relevant data before you pronounce the patient dead.

It matters that:

- *I\* passively-aggressively avoided a wife who once loved and respected me

- *I* want to move back to civilization from a cow town with literally nothing in it. My kids, my wife, and I don’t belong here.

- *I* dragged my ass for 4 years on moving, giving lip service and no action to my wife because *I* was fearful of the unknown, wanted to avoid conflict in new markets/partners, and was lazy about starting my business over. I’d be desperate too by then.

- The total lack of financial control didn’t start to escalate until *I* hit rock bottom several months ago….*I *agreed to everything else up to this point and signed for it.

- *I\* had no tools for dealing with an emotionally manipulative spoiled childbride (AWALT) and gave away the farm

If *I\* am the main variable that needs to be fixed, and AWALT, what the hell do I gain by nexting my wife at this stage that I won’t still be dealing with in the next relationship anyway… Not to mention my 4 and 5 year old children that I want to have an intact family (if possible). Sunk cost fallacy? Hell yes.

Johhneyapocalype You provide fire, brimstone, and motivation for me to continue to fight the 12 month fight for me no matter what it may take. That may not be the outcome YOUR EGO is invested in, but it’s sure as hell a great fucking motivation for a guy in my position. Thank you. I truly appreciate you sharing your story and fight, and don’t expect any respect from you coming from that position when you see how I’m pissing away the gifts and opportunities in my life and taking them for granted. We can go to blows at a later date if that’s what it takes….but for now, thanks for caring.

</rant>

-------------------------------------------

Having shit all that out, REAL external constraints DO require me to change MY PLAN now:

- “Laying down the law” will be perceived as controlling/abusing by a female judge if I end up filing in 2 months, so I must moderate and think about how I approach this….it must appear cooperative and uncontrolling, even though total financial control is all I will be happy with.

- She establishes residency in another state with the kids in 2 months. I need to know if I’m moving forward or backward by then, because my risk goes up later if divorce happens.

Other than that, the plan is the same: We don’t move into the new home until 1 year financial responsibility on a budget by her. And everyone lives in MY house until we move together in 1 year. I will sign a letter of intent to leave my practice with her during this discussion to give her an incentive I’m true to my word.

If she doesn’t want to work together at all and she refuses everything, there’s very little hope for an improved future and I’m already divorced.

HornsOfApathy · 2019-06-15T23:23:10+00:00

Still a faggot with zero respect given by his wife.

You're deeper into beta bux zone than I think we have ever seen here.

Good luck, but if my wife pulled this shit she would definitely be seeing my controlled anger

Taipanshimshon · 2019-06-16T00:57:51+00:00

The only boundary that matters is the one you're willing and able to enforce

Taipanshimshon · 2019-06-16T00:59:33+00:00

Also.

Whose cock is she riding. We know it's not yours

rotkohlblaukraut · 2019-06-16T18:58:02+00:00

I remember writing to you about boundaries before, good to see you thinking about them but, as has been pointed out very well, this is analagous to asking how many mg of penicillin you'll need to treat an infection while not realizing the root problem is that the patient has a 12 inch railroad spike sticking out of his head.

One of the things about taking the red pill is understanding that the relative value of the man to the woman is much greater than, and the value of the wife to the man is much less than - Western society has brainwashed you into believing. The reason that withdrawing time, attention, and resources is the common prescription is that at some primitve level, the real potential value of the man is understood and valued. In your case, though, it appears that your wife (1) really and truly doesn't give a fuck about you (2) is being bankrolled by her family, and (3) knows that if this ends in divorce she comes out with, like, loads of money. While (3) applies to most men, as far as I can tell, (1) and (2) take away most of your leverage. So there's that. You've pretty much withdrawn your time and attention by virtue of not even living in the same state as her, and all that happens is that she's more demanding an acting finacially entitled. Good luck turning that around.

You've been told several times that you;re cherrypicking answers you like that are passive and just lead deeper into this mess. Look at the guy who wrote about creating a pasive income stream so your *next* wife can have a horse. You completely ignored the subtext ("get a divorvce, dummy") and jumped on with the income stream idea. I.e one that allows you buy more gasoline to pour on your current dumpster fire.

Also, the advice to talk to a lawyer is not about you divorcing her. It's about you actually having facts to use to make a decision, and to acclimatize yourself to the idea of living with a salary of this and expenses of that, and realizing that it's do-able. It's not as scary as it sounds.

You also write something about "the only thing keeping my wife with me in this town is..." you know, that's usually called a marriage, when the wife wants to be with her husband. Dunno what exactly you want to call this thing.

Listen to man in the world and johnny, think deeply on their words and perspectives.

chadinthemaking · 2019-06-17T00:06:38+00:00

If I was a surgeon I’d hit the gym, tap some nurses and file. You’ll pay now but have that Tesla soon and be much happier.

She’s already moved out and is almost 100% banging Chad the horse trainer.

All this other stuff is mental masturbation. Sorry dude. Been there, done that. You can try to rationalize almost anything. And you are.

Drop papers. Maybe one last chance if she gives you 100% of what you want. But I think it’s better to start over. And before you do, do the suggested readings. They’ll save your life.

One of my favorite lines: Don’t root around in the trash after you’ve taken it to the curb.

You will be so much happier single. If you do the work.

Good luck.

ChokingDownRP · 2019-06-17T14:59:51+00:00

Surgeons make a lot of money... Most surgeons have very little money.... Because they are married to surgeon's wives, who have to maintain a surgeon's wife's lifestyle.

Wasting money on shit like horse shows, lessons, taking the horse farm owner to expensive dinners and staying in nice hotels with him while at said horse shows.

You will get divorce raped in a major way, but it is the best logical step if you ever hope to have any self-respect and accumulate wealth for yourself. At this point, you're just paying for the world's most expensive hooker - and she probably doesn't even fuck like you'd expect the world's most expensive hooker to fuck.

Leave her, salvage what little self respect you have and go fuck a few nurses to knock your wife off that pedestal you have her on.

You won't do anything though... She'll keep spending your money on horses, houses, expensive clothes and whatever the hell else she wants because she knows you're afraid to do anything about it.

askmeanything2 · 2019-06-16T01:28:29+00:00

I’ll answer your questions while leaving it to the others to flame you.

1)Where am I being dense and where am I going to get blind sided?

You think you are in control. Just like you got blind sided by her credit card you will get blind sided again.

You are considering options without understanding the ramifications. For example walking away from the new home could see you sued for more than the deposit.

2) Where can I be more effective?

Quit trying to do financial rambo. Retain a top divorce lawyer and obtain legal advice on the next steps.

3) How much to I signal/disclose the consequences to her vs. just keep my mouth shut and just let them happen? (For all I know, she is reading this…) To avoid the passive-aggressive approach, I think me just calmly informing her that she did something unacceptable in this relationship and explaining the response is in order.

Do not implement anything at this time. STFU, STFU, STFU

4) I’m also struggling with how to handle the next 2 weeks. We are doing family vacation together and spending a lot of time together with the kids. I feel like I have the option of just treating her like a teenager who is being grounded, but still part of the family (and not paying for a damn thing.) But I’m not sure if that is the best way forward. If I tell her not to come until she gets her shit sorted, she keeps the kids and I go on vacation alone….

Just go as planned, enjoy the holiday, STFU, STFU, STFU

Big_Daddy_PDX · 2019-06-16T05:23:03+00:00

Jesus dude. I couldn’t finish reading it. This is a dumpster fire because you aren’t in control of the money and are clueless as to how that might work. The way you talk about your expenses sounds like s person that is rich-broke. The divorce court judge is going to have you paying some ridiculous monthly alimony unless you get her working and close her off from your money.

SteelSharpensSteel · 2019-06-16T09:48:00+00:00

She's not respecting you, she's clearly not on your team, and in fact she is actively sabotaging you. You don't have any boundaries at all, because you've enabled this poor behavior.

You think this is all about your finances. News flash - it's not.

Got any controlled anger? Any consequences for mommy? Stuff like what she is doing would make me put a pause on everything else - building a second home, horse payments, and I'd lock down what I would be able to in order to fix the finances. Nothing would get done or moved forward until the items above were fixed - and they would have to be fixed long term, as in consistent correct behavior.

man_in_the_world · 2019-06-16T15:50:08+00:00

You can place a credit freeze for free with the three major credit reporting agencies, which should prevent your wife from opening any new accounts. It will likely also prevent her from extending her credit limit on the current account.

You had best register with these agencies before she does.

BluepillProfessor · 2019-06-17T15:36:12+00:00

I have no control over her card....or her spending so far.

This is simple. Just tell your sweet little darling that since you are not on the card, and you did not approve the charges that you will not be making any payments on it.

Write to the company and advise them that you will not be paying for the charges on the card that is not in your name. They will cut her off quick.

ReddJive · 2019-06-18T14:32:43+00:00

Stop worrying about what a man would do and just fucking be a man

Seriously just stop with all the nonsense.

you think that being a man is about always making the right decisions. It shows in how you analyzed it all right down to the smallest detail. Maybe it is to some degree yet thing about that is the right decision is never the easy one.

Furthermore it’s not that bad things don’t happen to Alpha men. It’s how Alpha men handle it when bad things happen.

boom_bostic · 2019-06-27T22:41:44+00:00

Wow. There’s a lot to unpack in this post. On one hand, I’m envious of you and on the other, I feel pretty bad for you.

First thing that ran through my head when I started reading this was that you allowed your family to live in a totally separate city and to me...that’s a HUGE NO-NO.

You see, now you are having to resort to (or at least attempting to) strong arming your wife. This is another no-no in my book and is a very last ditch effort. (I could explain why, in my experience, this is not a good move but it’s a long story. Just trust me, I have a wife, daughter and sisters) You and your wife should be on the same team...she really believes this and if the long distance husband drops in and starts giving ultimatums, she’ll turn on you so quick that you won’t even recognize who she is.

I’m sure you’re getting tons of advice but the biggest thing is that you MUST get your family back together under one roof. You can’t fix this remotely. It just takes work on your part. You have all the tools to sort this mess out.

And don’t strong arm your wife with ultimatums. You have to have very strong frame and game for ultimatums to work. You don’t have to get divorced, you don’t need to ever unless your woman has cheated on you.

SuperCrazy07 · 2019-06-15T22:54:48+00:00

Stopped reading as soon as you said you want to lay a boundary. Faggots don't get to lay down boundaries because they cannot enforce them. If she found you attractive and high value she wouldn't be doing this. She doesn't respect you.

My wife doesn't spend money unless she asks permission. She asked me permission to go to the bathroom a few weeks ago. She used to run around with my credit cards buying shit when she felt like it because I was a faggot who didn't and couldn't lay boundaries. Stop being a faggot and this problem will solve itself.

ComteDeBetamax · 2019-06-16T23:02:18+00:00

UPDATE:

(Thank you to all who have weighed in. I'm very grateful to be challenged as I fumble my way through this by myself.)

I met with my attorney today. (They are also a family member, so there may be bias. But, also the best divorce attorney around here.)

He said that he would "crucify me" in front of the judge if he were the other party's attorney and saw that I did anything to restrict her access to the money. Because the amount I'm trying to restrict is much less than the 50% she's "entitled to" in the partnership, I would be denying her access to her fair share. So no go on that.

It sounds like access to the kids isn't a big risk right now, but alimony is the big one and my future decisions may have an enormous impact on that.

RISK 1: Jurisdiction - If a divorce proceeds here, I carry a high reputation in the community, and my (multiple) family attorney members are friends with the judges and have good relations with them (drinking, golfing, etc) which may or may not help.

If the divorce proceeds in the big city, her father is a very high level attorney who is pretty connected and would likely know which judges and courts the case could be steered to for their advantage. (probably corrupt anyway)

RISK 2: Time. If I let her fully establish residency beyond 12 months in another state, it may adversely effect the Jurisdiction. I have until August.

RISK 3: Alimony may not later be adjusted according to my income if I move after the divorce. If my current pay is used during the divorce, and I then move to be close to the kids in the city and make 60% less money, I could still have the prior unadjusted burden of payment to her. Not to mention that business could fail or not be profitable with a new venture. I could get decimated by this.

He believes she's being coached because everything she has done so far is textbook what he would have advised her. He thinks I should just move forward with divorce discussions.

I suspect her mom knows exactly what the fuck she's doing and has been setting this up, but my wife is just happy the get a condo in the city. At this point, it's irrelevant because the risk is the same.

So, here I sit. My time and attention is not needed nor valued, and she has no respect for anything I say. I could work on making myself better and the MRP stay=go plan, but the truth is it's hard to really move the needle much in a 2 month time period when you only see each other 5 days a month.

I will sit down with her and clearly lay out my vision for how the family needs to function after this latest violation of trust, including the financial boundaries and budget (as though we live in the city already), as well as living under the same roof. Along with a 1 year plan to move to the city that honors my current commitments with work. If she wants to be a part of that vision, she can opt in.

I don't think she wants a divorce. But, at this point I'm fucked if I DON'T do something.

Title	Strategic Thinking Help Needed – Boundary Violation Consequences
Author	ComteDeBetamax
Upvotes	9
Comments	119
Date	June 15, 2019 10:25 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askMRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/c12x7u/strategic_thinking_help_needed_boundary_violation/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askMRP/strategic-thinking-help-needed-boundary-violation.242156 https://theredarchive.com/post/242156

You’re planning to move to a place you don’t want to live and take a 50-90% pay cut so that your wife can ride a horse more conveniently.