Not looking for advice on what to do. The relationship is over - I'm looking for perspectives to improve myself for future relationships.

I broke up with my LTR of two years. I'm usually the first person to end a relationship at the first sign of anything malicious, but that didn't happen this time, I'm not sure if I made a good decision or a poor one. We both genuinely cared about each other. She hit almost every point on a RP "green flag" checklist - genuinely cared for me, would cook/clean for me, good sex life and willing to do anything/everything, would spend tons of money on me and buy me gifts all the time, looked up to me for advice/guidance, centered her day around me, didn't do drugs, wasn't into partying or casual dating, never said a single malicious word or insult towards me, was genuinely kind-hearted, etc, etc.

You're probably thinking, well, why the fuck would you break up with her? My issue was that she was incredibly stubborn and would never change/accept responsibility for anything. I tried discussions, telling her outright, soft-nexting her for long periods of time, but her behavior remained set in stone and she said as much. She was like this with everyone, from what I could tell. The main issues were...

- Constantly upset, angry, and outraged about something. Constant negativity, and it began to bring me down and drain me. I would get stressed just from being around her.

- At least once a week, would get upset with me and stop talking to me over nothing. Sometimes, this would occur after I was helping her with something or doing something for her benefit, so it'd just feel like disrespect or a slap in the face. She'd usually admit she was in the wrong after, but would also excuse/justify it.

- Refused to communicate about any issue. Said she "didn't like to communicate about issues in relationships." If I ever tried to discuss anything with her or just tell her flat-out that something she did was unacceptable, she'd either cry, shut down, or start arguing. Either way, she would never change the behavior.

- Took up all my free time. I definitely was at fault for not setting up firmer boundaries with her, but she also had a way of creating unexpected time-wasters for me. For instance, she'd offer to pick me up from work to save time, which would sound like a good idea, but then would need to stop at the bank, the gas station, and the post office. Or, she'd say let's grab pizza tonight to save time on cooking, but then would need 15 minutes to look over every topping and option on the menu and make a decision. I was constantly having to make more and more boundaries, but my time kept getting wasted.

- She was incompetent in many areas of life, so this also caused my time to be wasted helping her, because I personally just didn't have the heart to let her fuck up her own life. For instance, she moved into a bad environment, so I'd let her stay at my place while she sorted that out, but then she'd be interrupting me while I'm trying to get work done. If I tell her to stop: "Oh, I forgot! Just remind me if I do it again!" So I'd either have to remind her endlessly until I give up, or forcefully tell her to cut it out, which leads to crying, argument, etc, etc.

- She'd constantly try to do stuff to help me (without forewarning me or without my approval), but it would make my life more stressful. She would use chemical products in my apartment without reading the labels and end up damaging my belongings. She burst a pipe in my washroom doing something very stupid to fix a clog. She would do the dishes, but they'd have food still stuck to them. She'd buy frozen food but put it in my fridge where it would rot, and then would be sad that I'm not cooking it for us. She'd try to surprise me by organizing my desk/files, and then I'd be unable to find anything. I didn't ask her to do any of this stuff. In some instances, I told her not to and she'd go ahead anyway.

- She was very unobservant, so anything to indicate disapproval (i.e. withdrawing attention) would not be picked up on. So I'd have to bring it up with her explicitly, but then she'd refuse to talk about it.

I'm kind of torn. I do feel that I made the right decision - she was a good and kind person, but I was constantly stressed, and didn't see any way to rectify the situation without destroying her self esteem, so I just ended things.

On the other hand, part of RP philosophy gives me some regret. Because a lot of women are going to be stubborn/immature, and I'm not sure if this is my fault for not being a better leader. Is this going to be a problem I run into with most women? Was her behavior all my fault for not setting clearer boundaries? Did I make a mistake in ending things with someone who really cared for me and tried to do a lot for me? I know there are not a ton of women that have these "green flags".

At the same time, I also feel like a relationship shouldn't be adding unnecessary stress to my life. I also feel that anyone that is with me in a relationship should be willing to compromise, actually listen to me, take into account my thoughts and feelings, not be stubborn/negative all the time, etc., and that if they aren't doing that, then a relationship is not possible.