So backstory, we had a baby in January and I initiated separation from my awesome husband. Crazy right? I had no idea about post partum depression.

(Sorry if this is all over the place)

My husband is very relaxed kinda guy. You couldnt pay him to cash the winning lotto ticket. Hes a dreamer and the creative type. Very manly and hands on... problem? Some how I had become the mom in our marriage. I'm a solid type A worked as a store manager bringing home the cheese and my husband did the at home dad home schooling our 6 yr old.

I got to the point where I was over talking my husband tuning his conversation out when he didnt get to the point fast enough. Things like this so no big suprise that he never initiated sex right?

I had had it up to HERE with his so called shit. So I split from him. (Really shitty of me) just up and called a separation. I was on maternity leave and our baby had colic and HIM i couldnt take it. I needed out. Really i was depressed. I had no idea. My husband was accommodating through it all. I didn't cook? No problem order out. I didnt clean no problem he came home from work and did baby duty and cleaned. I some how convinced myself that HE was the problem. So in may I pulled the strings. In June I realised i FUCKED UP. After moving out of our house I got my own place and took some serious stock in myself and realized I Me. Was the problem. I was quick tempered. I always brought my jobs stressed home and most of all I was tearing down my husband for not being as ambitious and type A like me. Immediately I wanted him back and he said NO. I dont blame him. I talked to a therapist and really went to work on myself and why I was like that. The standard post partum depression but there was more. Having grew up in the foster care system I learned to only look out of myself I had no parents so I had NO IDEA what a healthy marriage looked like. I begain working on marriage therapy solo. I realized my husband needed me to LISTEN . Not just wait for him to be done so I could talk. Acknowledge him. Acknowledge his love language. Therapy has helped me so much and I cant believe how much motivation I've gained back. I went on a mission to not only change the roles in my marriage but to WIN my husband back.

  1. I stopped talking all the damn time
  2. I found his love language and used that to my advantage
  3. No demanding sex ( has been since may)
  4. No over talking
  5. Greet him when he calls or comes over.
  6. Develop hubby's.
  7. Quit my job
  8. Speak more kindly.
  9. Give him genuine compliments
  10. Thank him for the things he is already doing.

And BAM yall. My husband wants me back. I'm so so so so grateful for having an awesome man who understood me enough to set boundaries.

Now, hes being all assertive. He is taking the lead roll I am playing support. My husband is passive but he needed that right bit of femininity to bring him to a roaring lion.

I'm so happy I stopped trying to he the boss. Because when I think about it, I didnt really want to lead. I just didnt know how to LET him lead ME. It's not easy. I still have to tell myself to shut up and dont speak when hes speaking. But tonight when we ended the call he said I love you babe. And I said what do you love about me?

His response: the way you love me. You loved me enough to get help and I see all the changes you've made. I know it wasnt easy.

Ladies. I just wanted to say that with some inner work it can be done. Your passive husband can be a leader if you let him.