Lately we seem to have received a new influx of newbies who think that clicking "subscribe" to this subreddit is all that's required to "take the red pill", and more arrogantly, that their beta outbursts from that point onwards constitute red pill behaviour. This post aims to address one particular irritation I have with these people and red pill confusion - their feelings
More and more I see the nonsense peddled that to "front up", "grow some balls", and "tell a woman frankly how you feel" is red pill behaviour. Worse, that it's some kind of success story for an obvious beta orbiter to come here, read a few headlines, and then profess their feelings to their disinterested target and awkwardly break free from their orbit by stamping their feet and whining that "they just can't do it anymore" (waa waa waa). It isn't, and the quite frankly ridiculous upvoting of the positive comments to such behaviour is a worrying development for the signal to noise ratio of this subreddit.
When it comes to feelings start by remembering this - woman discuss their feelings (mostly for the same reasons that they do anything else, for validation and attention), men simply act on them.
There is no reason, at all, ever, to discuss your feelings with a woman. Firstly it's a waste of your time because they don't care (they get no validation or attention from it after all), and secondly it does irreparable harm to your frame and SMV, and is a sure fire way to render any vagina as dry as the sahara in minutes.
Why? Because women don't care about how YOU feel, they only care about how YOU make THEM feel. They care about the tingles you give them when you maintain your alpha frame and the SMV you have in public, they care about the protection they feel when they are out in public with you, they care about the direction and purpose you bring to the relationship and in turn their lives, they care about the financial security and social status you bring, they care about the orgasm you give them when you let your testosterone take over and give them the rough fucking they so desperately crave.
Women are programmed to be nurturing towards their young, not their men. Men are there to provide and protect while they raise their young, and if they have to be nurturing towards you too that means you're a poor protector and provider. Displaying any trait that reflects poorly on your ability to be a strong protector and provider is infuriating to a woman, because nothing annoys a woman more than accidentally fucking a beta.
For their men they are simply interested in what you can provide, and what they have to do for you to keep providing it.
Do yourself a favour gentlemen, keep your feelings to yourself.
You can show emotions around women, as long as these emotions are reasserting your dominant, masculine, primal and passionate side. But never make a mistake of showing emotional or mental weakness, because even though she will appear to be compassionate, deep down inside she will lose respect for you.
Also they will try and trick you into expressing emotions constantly, asking you how you feel, expressing your thought process and emotions on a topic. If you fall for this you fail. You have to talk strongly on a particular subject about what the outcome you desire is going to be, not the feelings that got you to that decision.
While women will want you to express on some level in extreme situations sadness and empathy (such as when someone has passed away or has gotten injured) in your day to day life almost all discussion of your feelings or feeling of uncertainty are not welcomed.
This is a very common relationship shit test men fail, myself included. Do not let this happen to you. The moment you give in you've given up frame control.
I'm a private person anyway. Mostly because I realized most people don't care anyway.
I think you all are really misguided by some shity women in your life. I'm a woman, and I don't see how my SO having moments of emotional weakness would lose my respect. He has been there for me when I've cried, and I want to be his shoulder to lean on too. Him opening up about issues in his life has only brought me closer to him, because in my opinion, it takes a strong man to admit that he is feeling weak. If you can't be open with the woman you love, then why even bother?
AMEN! Was laying in bed last night with my main plate laying on my chest. I had alot on my mind and couldn't sleep. Guess she could feel my unrest. She asked "Baby, can you not sleep? What's wrong? Wanna talk about it?". My response - "Everything's perfect." And I put my hand on her head and lay it down on my chest cause she had raised it up. Next morning, she woke me up with warm morning sex. Moral of the story: Always be the boulder in her stream of emotions. The only emotion that is acceptable by women are positive emotions. Happiness, awe, satisfaction, etc. All manly emotions. Like walking into a 3000 year old hand built church and her seeing your face of awe. That is a def panty dropper especially when you point out the beauty of the architecture and have her imagine the skill it took to build it.
You can show feelings around women as long as it relates to her tingles.
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If you haven't noticed yet, you should read more.. the redpill at the very basic level is a formula for being wanted by women. These men are devoting their time to tell you how to be a better man and be attractive to women.
I can tell you right now if you're sending emoticons still and like that to women (probably with a paragraph each text), being yourself is not going to cut it.
Just to let you know, the downvote rain is hitting you because "be yourself" is one of the most popular justifications people use to avoid improving themselves.
"Why are people so cruel? When will I find someone who likes me for who I am?
If that's you I'm so sorry.
Do you want to fake it for your life partner? Do you never want to be you around your life partner? You can't be fake forever. That is no way to go about carrying out long term relationships.
If you are afraid to be yourself change who you are until you are always naturally being yourself
Just be yourself is the worst non-advice you could ever give. It conveys exactly zero helpful information.
So if you are Naturally submissive, insecure, awkward and so on just be yourself. What great advice.
They said the exact same thing. Reasserting your masculinity is related to her tingles/makes her horny.
there may not be a magic formula - but there sure as hell is an anti formula.
When you are with a woman, you are playing the role of CEO. The captain of the ship. The captain of the football team. You can show emotion. Many leaders do. But that must never compromise your ability to lead. You can be upset that something went wrong. But you cannot demonstrate that you are unfit to continue leading. Imagine the captain of a ship acting scared, sobbing, and saying that he has no idea what to do and the world is so unfair to him because his GPS broke. He should be immediately relieved of duty because he is going to cause a panic.
You can be pissed. You can be sad. But you are never without a plan. You are never uncertain. You never stop leading. The moment you fail to lead, it is the woman's duty to relieve you of the husband/boyfriend position and relegate you to beta orbiter status, just like how the board can relieve the CEO of his duties if the CEO demonstrates he is unfit or incompetent.
Remember, men are the disposable sex. A single man can impregnate many women a day, for several decades. On the other hand, fertility for women is much more limited and a pregnancy is a long and dangerous process. If a man cannot lead, protect, and provide for his family, he is pretty much useless. Biologically, it would be prudent for her to be completely turned off by such a man because he poses a great threat to her survival and her offspring's survival. There are plenty of other men that can provide sperm.
Remember, you are the CEO/captain. You wouldn't cry and whine while you are on the job. Don't do it in your relationship.
This comment is gold. Clarified this for me, I think I'm starting to get it. Thank you alisonstone
This. Also, never be lead by or make decisions based on emotions, that's feminine behavior.
Neurology has discovered that all decisions are emotional. Being purely logical is impossible for a human.
This idea of the purely logical guy is just bad broscience.
Strawman. OP didnt indicate pure, 100%, solely, or any similar word choice.
You let intelligence propel you, logic steer you, and use emotions to make fine (not wild, not jerky, not frivolous) adjustments.
That's not how it works. People make emotional decisions and then rationalize those to themselves afterwards.
Implying that everything anyone says or does evokes a, 1) quantifiable, and 2) equal amount of some kind of emotion out of you. Which isn't the case. It also implies that acting out of anger, and acting out of something else - disdain, annoyance, fear - are all about the same. They aren't. To wit, what emotion am I supposed to feel from reading your post? The decision to respond to your post - according to your thesis - necessarily indicates that I'm making an emotional decision to respond to you. So which emotion is that, precisely?
We may interpret words/actions emotionally, but before our decisions (and actions), most of us run everything through our logical/rational filter. Fear, anger, etc, may influence what you do - and, in fact, to what extent emotions influence your actions more than any other factor often determines your overall levels of intelligence and maturity.
If a 12 year old kid walks up and punches me in the face, the "angry" reaction would be to punch them back - possibly causing serious harm. Declining to retaliate....means what exactly? I'm using the "Resignation" emotion, rather than making the logical choice not to strike a kid and possibly get arrested, go to jail, etc.? How could you possibly equate 'resignation' with happiness, sadness, etc?
Let's not get too meta or too intellectual with this, my dude. I don't want to be talking about neurotransmitters and dopamine and all that shit. It doesn't have to be that complicated. Simple people let first-instinct emotions (anger, fear, happiness, etc.) guide them; well-educated people have minds that fire quicker, so they're able to get to higher-levels of reasoning in about the same split-second time frame, and progress right into "Which action here benefits me the most? Which action is likely to cause the most damage with the least amount of blow-back?"
TLDR - Some people go from 0 to fight-or-flight at the drop of a hat. Others of us, it takes a lot of work to get us to FoF mode. There's nothing broscience about that.
But there's a difference between doing something because of how you feel and weighing out the pro's and the cons. Most decisions are influenced by emotions however is it is possible to look at things as they are and take the personal opinion out of them.
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Your definition of objectivity is basically "well-informed subjectivity free from emotional influence", which isn't just unattainable but also pointlessly pedantic. How would an objective decision be superior to an informed emotionally influenced subjective one? This is basically an ad hominem against our nature because it implies that every opinion that we could possibly form is bad when compared to its undefined objective counterpart.
An informed subjective decision towards the best outcome is what most people refer to "logical" with the same way "a man can do what he wills but he cannot will what he wills" is sufficient to be called "free will". Now, stop attacking straw-men.
Bonus edit: We're also not free from being influenced by external causes that favor our own actions (luck). Just because it's unattainable to be "free from influenced by luck" doesn't mean that our skills and abilities are undermined when compared to a universe where luck is a non-factor (which again, it's unattainable and pointlessly pedantic to compare with).
pedantic undergrad garbage
It's an ideal you do your best to approach - more successful men get closer to that ideal than less successful men. Even some of the obvious counterexamples, like emotional musicians who are massively famous and wealthy, often went about building their business, networking, and handling everything other than the making of the music in a very logical, strategic manner.
Try to make decisions purely based off of logic, and you'll fall short, but land in the area of good decisions. Neurology is not the end all, be all; in 50 years we will likely have different neurological theories about emotions, decisions, and so on. For instance, it's likely the majority of us feel an emotional pull towards one pole of a decision all of the time, but we have the logical ability to override that pull. A neurologist would measure the heightened brain activity in relevant areas and conclude "emotional decision" when in reality the decision was to resist the emotion.
Andddddd that's how I lost my first love
You guys are fucking bat shit insane virgins
This is a terribly cynical view of the world to hold, true perhaps, but utterly depressing.
What am I to do, have broken relationships with women wherein I attempt to remain completely stoic and ultimately fail, destroying the relationship until the day where I can effectively silence my negative emotions entirely?
Have you read the sidebar?
Yeah, it's just difficult to accept that
So it is for those who grew up hooked to a system they only can leave by taking the red pill. Nobody said it would be easy.
There are two easy ways:
1 take the blue pill. Ignorance is bliss. 2 unhook as a child. You will never know how living the lie felt, so you will never miss it
Living the lie and then finding out the truth is hard. And the one you would like to turn to is no longer available, because she is part of the lie. Fortunatly there is this little group called TRP, where others will support you and understand you. But not lie to you even if you sometimes would wish it.
Except if one wishes to feel superior to those who threaten their self-esteem most. Then trp tells you exactly what you want to hear.
Have friends. Bros. And then have bro time where you can vent all you want. Recuperate. Then back to your woman. All too often men think that they must have extreme intimacy in every aspect of life with their LTR women. This is not true. That kind of intimacy leads to broken relationships. A healthy LTR requires both parties to have AT LEAST 1 good friend outside the relationship (in my opinion).
That's a good point, and I don't even spend very much time in mine, I just have things to work on with myself and I'm at a loss.
what does, "I don't even spend very much time in mine" mean?
He's just saying don't vent to your woman, you will lose. She does not care at all. Talk to your friends about it.
Okay, well that's a good point and I try to remain mindful of that, but I'm not perfect and I recently slipped and felt really self conscious about it, although my error was probably admitting I was upset to her instead of brushing over it
This is one part of why swallowing the pill can be difficult and painful. I wouldn't call it cynicism at all. When you choose to fight reality, reality wins every time. Expecting a woman to be emotionally supportive of you is a recipe for a 'broken relationship'. She might be able to on rare occasion with extenuating circumstances, but if you depend on that regularly, she will find someone else or stonewall you.
If you are unable to remain stoic (as we all are from time to time), this is where your network of trusted male friends comes in. If you don't take the time to develop these relationships, you will pay the price.
And of course it's why I personally believe feminism to be a murderous ideology built on perpetuating destructive myths that benefit sociopaths (who women in general fuck thoughtlessly) and kill depressive men (through hopelessness and suicide) who make the mistake of buying into their ideas of "women as intelligent and emotional equals in the realm of rationality, honesty, and morality", only to be crushed and emotionally obliterated by the truth of female sexuality time and time again by the horrifying truth of women's vapidity, then to be told they are "jerks" or "freaks" for taking a stand against it and living according to the facts, not to mention working to liberate their depressed and hopeless male peers, which is enough to have them discredited and barred from public life, and any hope at financial or normal acceptance into society.
Fuck feminism. No, seriously. Most laughable, hateful, and inexcusable ideology currently being accepted by a majority of the population.
Empower yourselves.
Women are obviously be intelligent, good, and worthy of the same respect and treatment as men. That said, anything you have been told about their sexual biological attraction behaviors is completely false. The truth is a massive and catastrophic letdown for almost all men of thought and character. Only when you respect yourself enough to completely and absolutely disregard the mainstream feminist narrative and the blue pill sycophantic white knighting cowards that surround you, will you truly be able to enter into a life of happiness and acceptance wherein your understanding of women is in line with the facts, and you are able to live with them in a way that genuinely benefits both parties.
The narrative of the past twenty years will someday appear as depraved and frightening to us as that of the dark ages and their enforcement of irrational religious beliefs such as the flat earth and crusades. You needn't try to reason with the braindead, simply avoid them and any reasoning with them.
You sir, you win the internet for today. You could post this as its own rant/thread and it'd do well.
♂
Confirmed: 1 point awarded to /u/chillaxbrohound by MachiavellianRed. [History]
[This is an Automated Message]
Popular aggressive "feminism" is pushed by the media, the way they push hysteria over diseases and crime statistics, as a means to drum up controversy and attention. It is pushed by career academics, as a means to invent things to talk and be outraged about. It is pushed by the corporate world, as a means to avoid lawsuits.
But actually "accepted," as in truly believed? No. People will parrot the line in public to keep their jobs, but when you let people be themselves, nobody really acts according to it, least of all women.
/u/girlwriteswhat said similar in her recent presentation at KSU.
Link: http://youtu.be/FXm49_B4oiM
♂
Gotta say I agree with MR. Nice to come across something almost worthy of /u/Archwinger. Almost.
Stoic: noun
Dude the fucking post just said, don't dwell on your feelings - TAKE ACTION. Likewise we aren't saying don't talk to anyone about your feelings - just DON'T talk to WOMEN (especially those you are having sex with/want to). Nothing good comes out of telling them your insecurities, being a bitch, etc - nothing. I once "vented" with this girl about a myriad of pussy drying topics, thinking that opening up to her would be beneficial to my cause to bang her. HAHA. You'll learn quick brother.
Keeping it classy in TRP I see.
What you are supposed to do is channel your feelings into actions that will result in a positive outcome for you.
Turn that rage or sadness into focus.
It's a bitter pill, brother.
And you know this how...? Unless you have a vagina, your statement is opinion based and technically illogical
I think you need to lurk more. You'll get your answer as to how he knows this if you read TRP.
I hope this subreddit never ceases to exist.
It's one of the only reasons I'm on reddit anymore
Sharing feelings is what women do with each other. Want to come off to a woman as one of her future girlfriends or worse some beta-bitch boy she doesn't want to talk to? Yeah, go ahead, unload your feelings on her. That shit only works in Hollywood or it is so rare it doesn't even fall under the far end of the bell curve.
Got the oneitis? Been pining away for "the one" for so long your hurt inside? Guess what? You've already blown it. Unload on her and you'll get the "I don't feel about you that way" let down. And she should do it too... after all, you were to big of a wuss to be upfront about those feelings (meaning sexually escalate like you know what the fuck you are doing) and her mind slotted you in the "does nothing for my vag" category long ago. You turned yourself into an orbiter. Your fault, not hers.
A proviso to the OP. A woman MAY want to know about your feelings...but she want to work for that, like she's earned it. And, this is usually after a long period of dating and banging. And, you should never, ever volunteer this shit. That's her job, not yours. And if she does entreat you to share your fweelings, then dole them out slowly and only if she has behaved well and shared her first.
Only after a long, long period of being with a woman should you open up more and even then its a crapshoot (and the above rules still apply). In a long term relationship, a touch of beta is usually needed but sparingly. So if you do open up, let her know how you feel without some faggy soliloquy.
Men show their emotions to women by doing. We share out time with them but on our terms and certainly not all of our time.
We let them into our interests but only in time. Not immediately. She's gotta show herself worthy.
Shitty day at work? Don't unload on her about it. You come home a bit tense and angry. Her: What's wrong hun? You: Shitty day at work, that's all. Let's have drink [and then do anything else but bitch about your boss]
Here's where you can share "feelings" and not turn her vag into an arid desert. Your passions. Reading a good book and she asks about it? Tell her how fucking bad ass Rommel, Montgomery, Patton, who the fuck ever was in WWII (you get my point). You love a sport? Music? Art? Talk about it like its the best fucking shit ever. Women love passion in a man.
Even when its about her. But her, do/show, don't tell. Rip her clothes off and fuck her like she makes your dick hard as diamonds. That's how a woman wants her man to make her feel. She doesn't want to hear it from your mouth.
If you ain't banging her, then all your petitioning, poems, songs in her honor, supplicating, and emoting won't do shit or, worse, the opposite of what you would like it to do.
Yeah, I know from a past experience. About 20 years ago and NOTHING I did worked. Just the opposite.
Now, women I'm with are just happy as can be to get a modicum of recognition from me that I like them. I dole it out carefully and modestly. No gushing. A slap on the ass, a kiss on the top of the head, or a carefully planned and cooked meal do wonders.
Good post OP.
Good post. Still haven't quite cut off the 20 years part (divorce on horizon), but sooo looking forward to that getting past that milestone and to the new me. For now, learning....
Honestly this could be a post in itself.
This is so true, too many guys don't understand this. You start showing emotion like a woman, that's how your girlfriend is going to see you!
Wow thanks man your helping here, thats exactly what I thought women like and need, women like a hard, rough and secure men, not some whinny whinny good boy telling poems and shit (I used to do that) and even If I dont have the same amount of experience you do (time for that matter) I ve come take the red pill by my past experiences with women being a overly attached good boy, now I have a new relationship and I m being completely oposite to how I was with my exes and GUESS WHAT?? she is overly attached to me, it feels awesome, I feel a real man. I dont threat her like shit or anything, I just try to act like a mas has to be thats all. actions over words.
No one - female or otherwise - gives a fuck about your feelings.
I.e., "You are the rock; act like it."
Expect for your mother, she is biologically forced too. But don't be a bitch running to mommy if you feelings are hurt, it will just make her feel bad too.
And women know this, this is why so many of them will disdainfully make jokes about a man "not having cut the umbilical cord" when he is close to his mother and makes use of the emotional help she provides.
That's why you have bros, other men who are at similar stages in their lives who will understand without doting. A masculine but caring father is good too, if you have the chance of having one.
...and when you whine and complain to a woman, it infantilizes you in her eyes. This is anathema to a woman you are trying to seduce or have an adult relationship with. If you put her in the role of your mother of course she isn't going to be attracted to you.
Nicely put. She can be Mommy or My Woman. Choose one.
We all need a mommy once in a while, but you better be dam sure to be strong and stable enough for her to be proud of having you as Her Man. I lost the love of my life for not doing this.
Make her proud or watch her leave eventually. Choose one.
Fuck no. Mother's don't need respect given unless they earn it, especially respect from their children.
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I wouldn't universalize all mothers and put them on a pedestal by default.. There's plenty of shitty moms out there.
I think an 'Innocent until proven guilty' style would do well here. A mom is at least a decent mom until she proves otherwise.
Growing up and seeing many cases of mothers being negligent or utterly narcissistic has given me a bad taste for respecting people by default. Neutral, then otherwise.
Pretty much. You lose respect when you unload your feelings on someone.
Anyway, women like a puzzle (even your mom). They'll be happier if they have to figure out what you're feeling by the way you act, and when your wife/girlfriend tells you she wants to have a discussion about feelings she means her feelings.
Dude there's plenty of people out here who will converse on that level, you don't have to pretend to be some badass all the time. Just be real. And be socially aware. Should you tell some asshole kid who is always trying to be alpha about your emotional issues? Of course not. But this pretending to be someone else schtick seems all wrong to me imo. Be you, just be a better you.
No, just 99% of the time. And the idea is not to pretend; the idea is to actually be badass.
EDIT: You specify, "be you, just be a better you." This comes part-and-parcel with that - establish your frame and stand by it.
I don't agree with that at all. The goal shouldn't be for all men to be a badass. That's a natural thing for some men. You may want to be a badass but for the most of us, will never be. Do what's comfortable for you and improve yourself, but when you start thinking about pretending to be something you are not I think you've gone down the wrong path. That doesn't make any sense to me.
Why not? We're all here to self-improve; TRP is predicated on the possibility for men to achieve "badass" -ness.
And for other men, "badass" behavior is learned and cultivated, as TRP and I continually advocate.
I'm a realist, so I recognize this reality, but it does not mean we should stop trying.
runs directly counter to
Self-improvement requires intense discomfort, such as being more discerning when (and when not) to reveal your "feelings."
Are you familiar with "fake it till you make it?" Becoming a "badass" means re-framing yourself as a badass. This means keeping "feelings" to yourself.
Being a badass is too hard. I guess your definition of what a badass is different than mine. A badass is a professional fighter, soldier alpha male biker takes shit from no one gives no fucks will fight on the drop of a dime. That's something you sit back in awe And appreciate how fucking badass it is, but as a grown man its not something you shoot for. Getting laid doesn't make you magically tougher and faking you are an alpha male is a good way for other alpha males to put you in your place.
But your definition of what a badass is may be much different than mine. A badass to Mr is a true ultra alpha male, you can't fake that shit.
Who can I vent to then? Or should I not vent at all, ever?
You can discuss issues with your male friends.
This is what your (male) friends are for.
But the guy said "No one - female or otherwise - gives a fuck about your feelings."
fuck yea, I mean the rule says that the only way u should ever talk about your feelings to someone is when you are expressing them in no less than 5 minutes and at the same time trying to figure out a masculine solution to them, not whinning and crying over the same shit all over again. discuss is the correct word here.
What good does venting do? I don't mean expressing yourself or talking over problems with friends, but just flat out whining and ranting? It's ok to let your friends know you're going through something that sucks and maybe they can offer advice, but one thing that I've learned in life is that vocalizing anger doesn't make it better, it just amplifies itself into rage.
You're probably right. It's just that I've read so much stuff about how important it is for one's mental health to "express your feelings".
When my first child was born, I learned about a concept of teaching babies to learn to self-cope by letting them cry sometimes instead of immediately trying to make things better for them. We all need to learn the right balance of when and to whom we share our feelings with, and in what way. People are very self-centered, so friends and family won't want to have much to do with you if you're negative all the time and complaining about little things, while if you're generally upbeat and optimistic, those times you really do need their support like if you lose your job or your grandma dies, they will be more likely to be there for you.
What need does a rock have to vent?
Fuck them, if I feel like talking about something emotional, they are fucking listening to it and having something respectful to say about it or I will violently defend myself. Maybe that tactic doesn't work for everyone but it works for me. Honestly I think besides the " just lift " kind of advice given here, just fight should be more appropriate. Go to a boxing club, get your ass kicked for a while, learn to defend yourself. Instant man. The hard way. Which is of course, the only way.
I agree that you need to do combat training that involves live sparring, but you sound bipolar dude.
Seems like you've got a keen eye for that, I'm definitely on that spectrum. For the most part it's pretty awesome. Haha
Maybe you need to take the rectangular pill instead
Get your act together. That's the kind of whiney, pedantic, entitled behavior we expect of children, not men.
Human beings are entitled to speak as they wish. Holding onto some logic that we have to be afraid of what others might think of us should we reveal our true feelings is the childish thought process here.
"Can" does not imply "should." You are free to speak your mind, just as everyone else is free to reject you. Speaking your mind is not always the advisable option.
Quite the opposite, actually. Caring what other people think is the foundation of conscience and self-awareness. It's what Freud called superego, or what Adam Smith dubbed "the invisible witness." It's precisely what makes human society possible.
Agreed there's levels to this shit. I'm not saying being some whiny pussy who is overly emotional all the time. There's a balance. But to think you can't be a human being with feelings and express them ever to pretend to be some alpha male who is a rock is ridiculous. What I noticed about being a man is just being real. Accepting who you are. If you are like 90% of these guys on this website you are most likely not an Alpha male nor would you ever one day become an alpha male. You can improve and get better at things but the range of women you can access will most likely be lower than a true elite male. Its like you guys are suggesting we are all the same and with this set of rules we can all see similar results. Its just not true. That's a feminine point of view if anything.
You should do your best to limit fear from effecting your life's choices.
My interesting experience:
I was seeing this girl for a few times before. I showed absolutely no weaknesses while seeing her in person, held my frame all the time, was a rock. We haven't seen each other for a long time and I missed her a lot, my beta behavior kicked in.
So I chatted her up on facebook (I know) and I felt no real interest from her. Then I made a huge mistake I asked her whether she is happy with her life. She said that it is hard question, but she probably is. Then she asked me the same question back to come off as a caring human being. I said that I'm not happy with my life. She said that I should tell her and maybe she could help me. The mistake I made after that was fatal. I didn't even think and just started typing my problems.
Only after I hit enter I realized how much did I fuck up. She started typing something, but I reacted quickly and just typed: "Hahahah... got you!" before she wrote anything.
She then replied: "Omg, good one... Honestly, I really love that you never act like pussy. Every guy is just soft nowadays, I really miss you, your roughness and your DGAF attitude."
Girl just went full 180 in a couple of seconds. I saved my fucking ass.
I'm no robot, I have deep feelings. I'm happy, disappointed, angry, sad... But I don't show this to outside world. Every men should be like a rock, if you need to cry, do it alone. I'm no tough guy, I sometimes break down too, but nobody knows it and that's the most important thing.
We then continued to chat in more sexual way and we are seeing each other when I will have time.
Wow that had to be eye opening for you. Women truly don't give a fuck about your problems.
It's important to note you can't blame a woman for being a woman. Just accept that that is how women are. Otherwise you will remain angry and resent them.
For the things that you cannot change, like death, earthquakes, and female behavior, its a waste of time and energy to be emotional about. Just accept that it is what it is and move on
exactly like that, women are like that we cannot change them just accept them. We however can change and see the way we cant react to all this. the sooner the better.
fuck so true, before, I used to hate women because of this and all of the misinterpretations present in movies, poems or even novels (thanks victor hugo!) because they were so different to what I read, watched and see, but it is better to accept it
I'm angry at the power that white knights give them and hold themselves.
Get money, fuck bitches end of.
And what's wrong with that? It makes sense to be angry and resentful towards parasites.
And what do you gain from that? Does your anger change anything? Can it ever? Does it make sense to scream and shout at clouds when it's raining?
It is wasted energy that could be used on something beneficial, and negativity that infects other things you do.
Parasite management and keeping their impact to a bare minimum.
It really was man. It's the best feeling in the world, when you experience shit that you read here in the real life and just think: "damn, those guys were fucking right. everything clicks."
Jesus this is fucking stupid.
Suffer in silence.
A good saying I heard coming from military men who recognise that bringing up a bad mood only serves to give it others.
You have to embrace the suck, as the saying goes. At the end of the day, you don't need more than 2, maybe 3 people to offer insight on how to sort out your problems. Nobody else needs to know about your struggles, it's not going to benefit you if they do. Women only want to tell everyone about their woes because they have a deep-seated desire to seek attention and emotional validation. Personally, I don't need someone else to tell me that what I'm feeling is ok to feel. Only reason to ever tell someone your problems is if they can help solve it.
Chatting them up via text is how feelings come out, and it's a very easy mistake to make these days. I can maintain frame in a real-life setting, but being a child of the Internet I'm used to talking about how I feel via text.
As awesome as this sounds...she really said -
I've been praised by women, verbatim, for "not giving a fuck". It's not that uncommon.
No doubt. What i find hard to believe is just the actual wording haha, not content
"I like your voice"
"Why"
"You sound like you don't give a fuck"
Pretty much verbatim
Same. Either "you don't care what other people think" or "you do your own thing" something along those lines
Like I said to another guy, I put few of her replies in one. Where I put commas - those were her replies.
"Every guy is just soft nowadays, I really miss you."
....
"You looks so rough... always walking around like you don't give a fuck."
She's gonna attract a narcissist if she keeps that up.
No literally none of this happened. Of all the things that have ever happened....
I know right. That's so robotic and obviously false.
Man, fuck this lifestyle. This is the life of leaving all of your feelings bottled up inside until the day you die. Never expressing yourself, never seeking comfort in others in times of need.
This is the kind of thought that leads men to not seek help when they need it and leads men to commit suicide far more than women.
Not exactly - you can share your feelings with your male friends or psychiatrist, but not to the women in your life.
The key is to compartmentalize - and separate your emotions and activities based on whom you are with. Part of the truth that red pill preaches is in recognizing the role of biology - women are hard wired to look for strength - crying in front of women doesnt do this.
When you cry in front of a women, the only thing that is wet is the ink on your divorce papers.
That's one way of looking at it. Personally, I think that the ability of a man to keep his emotions to himself is one of the most impressive and generally awesome aspects of being an alpha. Imagine a strong leader. Now, how often does that leader cry in front of you? How often does he show that he is vulnerable in any way? If there's one thing I learned in the army, It's that you do not bitch, complain, or above all appear helpless to your subordinates, because they will lose respect for you as a leader. Women are looking for leaders in men, not equals. I could count the number of people I share my emotions with on the fingers of one hand if I lost 3 fingers in a carpentry accident, and I'm proud of that fact. The essence of being a strong male is strength, and emotional vulnerability is weakness, pure and simple.
Probably true. But you can express yourself and all of that noise. To your good, close male friends. Never to your woman.
yea but even then it is good to limitate the amount of time u make your friends hear your problems and self doubts, it is always better to make it fast and talk it in a relaxed way with a couple of beers or something, however if it is something very hard to suck up like the death of someone close or something like that..... well cant help it there.
that's smart advice. You definitely don't want to become the guy that always has problems. That probably means there's something wrong at a deeper level, that you view so many things as problems and not as mere events in your life continuum. For a normal guy, with a normal amount of problems and life outlook, you'll probably be fine chatting over a couple of beers from time to time.
thanks, it is also important not to wait anyhing from any SO you have, what I mean is that if you are having a bad day and get home sometimes (I made this mistake) I feel mad that SHE DOESNT ask me about whats wrong with me and I get attention seeker trying to be asked by hear if she can do something to help me etc. It is unnecesary, no girl is there to hear your shit, I made that mistake MANY TIMES and I wont WONT do it again really. it sucks. cheers mate
Men compartmentalize their emotions. We have to and we will always have to. It's the way the world has worked and will always work, at least until we all become cyborgs or something.
Let your emotions out in others ways, never bottle them up. Let them out by exercising or closing that huge deal that's been in the works for months or, hell, jack off.
No one is saying not to seek comfort in a time of absolute need. No one is going to look down on you for crying at a funeral or anything like that.
Don't show your emotions in a womanly way to a woman you're interested in.
EDIT: To touch on the suicide, men are disposable. We are the ones who go to war, we are the ones who build empires and build huge, successful businesses. You'll rarely see a woman who can do that. The vast majority are, and will always be, men who take the biggest risks and some win big and others will fail hard.
What makes certain men so weak they need to be "woe is me" about their circumstances that are certainly never unique to just them? We've all got shit to deal with.
Men share feelings with their bros. Women have shown us it's dangerous to share with them.
I am comfortable with my emotions and talking about them. I've been able to do this with women and men and still maintain my dignity and respect for the most part. Lol. I mean, I'm a human being, I should be able to talk about things like that, to anyone, whenever I feel like it. Within reason of course. I tear up at all sorts of emotional moments during movies, kids movies ( I have a kid ), generally major signs of sacrifice, I'm comfortable with my emotions and weakness and all that. Does it mean I'm going to let people ride me and break my balls too much? Of course not. I'm down to slaughter someone if needed, but generally, I like showing people it's ok to be like this. It's a much better way imo. I'm not saying be a pussy, but being a human being and acknowledging that you are indeed, human, and have emotions, is not something bad or negative at all. As long as you let people know you won't be disrespected, you can do whatever you want.
I disagree, in part. You say "because I'm a human being." That's not acknowledging the social, cultural and biological dichotomy between masculine humanity and feminine humanity. I believe that a strong alpha male keeps his emotions to himself so that his woman/children/tribe can rally around his strength and lack of vulnerability. His family/tribe sees that nothing phases him no matter how tough things get, and that inspires them and gives them strength. Truth is, his emotions are just as real as everyone elses' but that is his burden to bear as an alpha, and as a leader. In my opinion, that is a trait to be celebrated.
simply put, you can cry, suffer and have doubts etc. but NEVER show that wearkling side to anyone especially women, showing an alpha male rock hard personality is a must in this world, if you must absolutely wind down your problems to somebody just tell them for no more than 5 minutes to your buddies (male friends) and trying to find a solution, it not, just suck it up in a pair of beers and done life is too short to being crying all over shit doesnt matter. Memento Mori my friend
A lot of your mentality goes against everything I stand for. I'm not worried about what alpha males do or what I perceive to be as alpha. I take a problem in my life and fix it. I state a desire and accomplish. Pretending to be an alpha is a great way to get fucked up by true alphas. And it's ok that you aren't top of the heap. That's nature. You can improve yourself as much as you want but you are still a guy in a 4-6 range. Your best can't compare to a guy who is lazy and has a baseline of an 8. Don't let women determine your entire being and don't think casual sex with women you consider children is a fulfilling lifestyle. Just speaking from experience. I hate to see our youth become so overly obsessed with pussy like it's some amazing end all be all shit. It's not. Its just pussy. I'm all for improvement but I gotta say as much as I agree with RP shit a lot of it seems like some crazy ass advice.
Being alpha is about so much more than just getting pussy. It's about being in control of your own life in a way that's just not possible through other means.
Agreed. Being SO afraid that a girl won't like you if show your feelings is actually about as beta as it gets.
It's not fear. It's confident knowledge of the simple facts of what women find biologically attractive in a man. That's like saying you should just be a fat pig because it would be beta to work out just because you are "afraid" that women won't like you unless you're in good shape.
This is a fair point. There's a line here somewhere between confidence and fear that's difficult to find.
I'm always going on rants. If something bothers me, I'll bitch about it. I don't give a shit. I'll tell the whole fucking world about it. My friends are always like, "oh great here he goes again." If I'm typing online, I'll rant a whole book about some shit.
She fails the quality test. Plate material but a headache LTR material.
Mostly because there will be one day you'll be off your game. Sick, the flu, shitting and puking, victim of company downsizing, parents died, dog died, and the dominate frame gets lowered as you reveal your human self. She sees that you are a man with human emotions and her vag will dry up and the memory of your cock just shrunk 3 inches.
You did a good save but be willing to NEXT her at any moment.
C'mon bro. You expect us to believe she said that? That's just too much exactly in line with your point. Obvious that you paraphrased it, if not straight up made it up.
I put her few replies in one so it would be easier to read. If you don't believe it, okay, I don't need to convince you.
I don't know if this ties in or not, but 2 different relationships I've had where I was the MOST sought after by the woman, I never once showed sadness towards anything in my own life and what pretty stoic, but they each saw me cry while cuddling and watching a sappy movie (fault in our stars for the more recent example). I mean, I'm generally an emotionally abusive asshole and get away with A LOT of shit, so the fact that she sees that I'm "capable" of being sad... and just choose not to ever be sad or complain about my own situation is maybe really powerful.
Dude! That movie was good. I felt like a little bitch when I watched it though. But it was a good little let go of some emotions..
All of us had some similar experience. Women despise men weaknesses.
But, BUT, if you persists you will become emotionally strong for real and you will feel like a grown up man with steel balls. It is painful process and in time you will also learn to share your feelings of weakness only with people worthy of them.
Women are hard teachers
Let me tell you fucks a story. So about a year ago im hanging out with my friend. On impulse he decides to drop by his mom's house to pick up a jacket. I cant say no cuz im in his car.
Anyway, we drop by his mom's house. Her car is there but she's not answering. She's not in the bedroom. Bathroom door is locked. Start Knocking on bathroom yelling her name. Nothing. Decide to boot door.
His mom is laying submerged in a bathtub not moving. We pull his mother out of the tub, cover her in towels put her on couch. Call 911. Mom died of a drug overdose.
Pulling a dead woman out of a tub really fucks me up. Start thinking about meaning of life feel really disconnected. Nothing matters to me at all.
Dudes have nothing to say except 'that really sucks bro.' Tell my girlfriend (at the time) about it and she said that she's too tired to deal with it and that its really depressing. Tell my mom about it and she makes it all about herself ''were you concerned for your mother, don't worry id never do that'.
So there you go. If something really fucked up happens to you that shakes you to your very core, women wont give a fuck.
The responses from your gf and mom are almost comical man. "Me me me me"
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This isn't a story about what his friend went through. It's an example of how the responses from women he told were purely selfish. If you don't have anything intelligent to add, you shouldn't add anything at all.
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Calm down with those assumptions man, you dont know what the OP did or did not do about his friend in this situation, he never told that part of the story.
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I really don't see how relating your own feelings in hindsight as part of a story you are telling compares in the slightest to reacting to someone asking for your help with a "I don't want to deal with you cause I'm tired". Seriously, it's not even close. I don't know how in the fuck that seems "ironic" to you. Specially considering the guy fucking helped his friend get his dead mother out of a tub. Right, because a self-centered would have done that.
If telling your feelings about something when telling a story seems self centered to you then fuck me sideways because everyone I have encountered on this earth is as self-centered as it can get. You must have some Gandhi levels of selflessness going on in there. That or you are just antagonizing people for the fuck of it.
http://www.smbc-comics.com/comics/20120516.gif
Sometimes that's all that needs said though. Then you drink beer and go blow shit up. That's what me and my friends do when we go through shit. Hell, we do that when everything is going great too come to think about it lol
I heard a story, I think this American life, where a girl had cancer and her friend didn't know what to say, except, "this really sucks." Right before she died, she told her friend that that was the most meaningful thing she had heard from anyone before her time was through.
Best friend from college dies in horrific tragic accident, story covers the usa. All the roommates drive 10+ hours to funeral. We are all out drinking, having a good time, remembering old times, but really just hanging out talking shit. I had my girl at the time with me and no one else brought theirs. We were in at about 3+ years together,not married, of a 6 year relationship. around 9:30 she starts nagging that shes tired and wants to leave. I say no, but then give in. My buddy looks at me, and i have a photographic memory to this day, of his face saying. "Dude, we understand." They closed out the bar. Regret. only a few that i have. fuck!
There you have it in a nutshell.
Me, me, me, me.
That's the sum total of the support, sacrifice, and empathy you should expect.
And odds are that if shit ever really hit the fan, those guys in the bar would be there for you before, and after, the nagging bitch already forgot about you.
You wanna leave, then leave..
Damn dude. That sucks to feel so alone. That has not been my experience when bad shit happens. My mom is always a super good listener, helps me walk through issues. I can't imagine if I didn't have that.
That is why you gotta have male friends. You can break down to one of your best friends and if they are a good friend they will pick you back up. But NEVER fall back down after they pick you up. That is rude.
That's the proper response. The relief comes just from talking about it, not any special advice they give. When someone comes to you with some serious shit you should just shut the fuck up and hear them out.
And yea that sucks bro.
I don't see a problem in what your mother said. In essence, she said she wouldn't abandon you. You expect her to say, "that sucks bro"?
Damn, my mom would say the exact same thing. I thought she was more self-centered than average, but such female self-involvement is no doubt the norm.
Damn man. Is your friend alright?
What else needs to be said? It does, indeed, "suck." It's a corpse in a tub. Nothing left to do but bury her out back and try to forget it.
They don't know any better man. It takes real strength to deal with shit like that. You need to talk to someone who you respect their opinion to your very core, someone to help guide you. Someone you can learn from. It's always good to learn from new masters and save your truly burning questions for him/her.
What the fuck is wrong with your mom dude? I mean that's fucked up on a maternal level given that you're still her young.
She thinks like a child, that the world exists only in relation to her.
The significance of the situation is that someone lost a mother, because she is a mother. The impact on the son, as an independent individual, is beyond her view because it doesn't relate to her.
This story may well have happened, but just because in your case the girl that you'd chosen to be your girlfriend was a complete dick it does not mean that every woman in that situation would behave the same way; I know this from experience.
Just a thought; maybe if you didn't have the attitude that women won't ever give a fuck you wouldn't constantly meet women who don't give a fuck? They exist, believe me. You just clearly haven't met any.
This is an AWALT if I have ever heard one. To the extent women listen to your feeewings it is only because they are feeling vampires and get off on the emotions. They TRULY don't care about your feelings- only theirs. AWALT.
If a woman friendzones you, just cut your losses and move on. There are 288 million + women in the world in the 18-22 year old age range alone and 1.7 billon 18-50 years old. Focusing so much futile energy on one of them just isn't worth the effort.
Go to the city and then decide if that girl even remotely compares to the amount of essentially infinite amount of beautiful women walking around.
.
I think what happens is guys get "lucky" and get to go out with a girl in their social circle. But if they break it off their fear of having to actually approach women is unbearable.
Seriously. You're the fucking rock. No matter how many times women say "I like a guy with feelings" - it's complete bullshit. You're there to tell her "it's okay, relax" - you're not one of her girlfriends. The moment you give in, you lose your fucking manhood i her eyes. It is okay in private because you're not human if you don't "have feelings" but never in public.
Yeah all this bullshit about sharing your feelings is about being able to manipulate you by knowing how you feel and using it against you.
That can happen. But I think you can show people hey, you can be a man, and be a normal human being who goes through ups and downs and be realistic about it. No one is telling you to gush over about every single problem in the world to your girlfriend. She does enjoy viewing you as strong for sure and all of that. But to think you need to be a rock all the time. Just seems way too harsh. If you can't share something emotional with someone you are with, that sounds like the perfect way to get out of that situation. Share emotional thing and watch her not want you and she does all the work of breaking up without you having to kick her to the curb. Win win in my book. There's no excuse for a women to be a heartless human being incapable of caring about you. If that's what she shows, well, next.
Had to down vote, because you seem to be implying there are women out there that are safe havens that you can safely vent fears and frustrations to. I'll speak from personal experience. Don't EVER do it. It doesn't matter what you're going through, what she's going through. Etc.
Story time: shortly after I discovered this sub, I broke up with my SO of 19 months, because I realized I was mostly a BB (with occasional alpha flashes) to her and I decided I could do better elsewhere (26 y/o single mother). A week after I broke up with her she told me she was pregnant. (I'm reasonably certain it was mine, but I'll never know because she decided to abort), she was 10 weeks along and we fucked like rabbits that entire week she conceived. Anyways, I broke down and was crying afterward in the parking lot of the abortion clinic. She later texted her best friend (I went through her phone) about a week later) and complained how much of an asshole I was for crying and that and I'll quote it verbatim "he was supposed to be consoling me, I can't believe what a jerk he is, I'm the one that was supposed to be sad, what a crybaby"
FUCKING GAME, PLAYER.
Much appreciation for no bs and being effectively concise.
Women only care about your feelings if you are very good looking, high SMV (Alpha). They will be endeared / turned by your vulnerable side. The cliche of the Alpha male who has a vulnerable side is what literary porn for women is made of.
But, in general, most men are not that good looking, don't have high SMV, so it's best to keep your emotions to yourself.
You also have to be able to express your vulnerabilities eloquently/with charisma.
yea, is not the same a woman looking at brad pitt crying than a woman looking your average guy crying like a baby, the reactions are NEVER gonna be the same
This is a good point. My girlfriend fucking loves when I share my feelings with her. She can't get enough of it actually. I read this post and I was like "damn, I don't agree with this at all," but maybe I've somehow tricked my girl into thinking I'm a very good looking master of my domain.
Good luck bro. Please keep reporting how this works for you.
We've been together for a long time, almost 4 years. It's been a great relationship in pretty much every way, and even if we were to break up today it would be a successful one. I'll probably end up marrying her though.
After the initial courtship phase (6 mos to a year), things got much easier for me. In the beginning, I did have to make serious efforts to maintain frame, and not share all my true thoughts or feelings. But after that the roles sort of reversed and she started worrying more than me. Since then it's been easy.
This is a really good post that would have frightened me off in my BP days
My family life is so much better now that I come home and laugh at my wife's complaining. I used to get so annoyed and upset and angry etc.
Now I just tell her to knock it off. Or smirk at her. Basically I am a dick about any non specific "problems". I don't try to fix it. I don't let my mood change.
Funny thing is....she very quickly now adapt to MY mood.
yea bro.... just awesome :) good for you man, keep it like that, your climate, your mood, your world :)
It's not that they don't want to hear your negative emotions AT ALL. It's all about moderation. We humans have an ability to empathize with others. We, however, don't want to be overladen with a streamline of negative emotions. That's when things start feeling like a burden.
Think about it. You wouldn't mind the occasional times of consoling your SO when their feeling down about things happening in their life. But if you had to do it all the time it would drive you insane. Women are the same way. They want to help. But not carry you all the way through to the finish line so to speak.
Disclaimer: The two of you need to already be emotionally invested in each other for this to mean anything. For example, did you care about how that homeless man you passed in the street was feeling? No? You didn't give him any money? But you'll consider giving your friends money if they really needed it. My point exactly.
There is also an evolutionary reason why women would be turned off to overly emotional men: Men need to provide and be effective, and if they are constantly swayed by their feelings that will subject their overall effectiveness as a man. Its evolutionary unattractive to emote too many feelings.
Like anything else, this is to a degree. Positiive emotions are great, when not overdone. And its okay to show some negative emotions when harmed, but they should be brief, controlled, and quickly turn to action.
Ill admit I started my reply after reading half your post. You cover this in the last couple paragraphs. But good to re-iterate just for those who struggle to understand why being overly emotional is a turn off.
This is what male bonding is about. In times long past male children would be taken aside and taught by the older men in the tribe to do male things and work in groups of men. This process bonds them together and enables them to work as a team, it also creates an environment that allows for a male to share with other males his own anxieties. This was safe because if one male is feeling anxious about something, chances are other males had similar feelings, or the older males had once had those and could provide couching and counsel.
Industrialization destroyed the traditional framework and replaced it with male clubs based on common interests / experiences (sports / hobbies / ect..). Since the males had similar interests they still had enough in common that they could bond and provide for life couching and assisting with anxieties. Feminism has since destroyed those frameworks and is actively hunting down any location where they form. Male social groups that are capable of creating this kind of safe supportive bonding can only exist in the absence of female influence, if a women is present her solipsism will destroy the environment required for men to be trusted with showing vulnerability.
What we have now, in the internet age, is groups of men who's only response to showed weakness is to socially attack it in the presence of others as an attempt to demonstrate their ability. You see it everywhere, even here. A male will produce some thought, feeling or comment that shows weakness and then you get people immediately attacking it in an attempt to discredit and dominate the male in a public setting. This differs from ribbing / horseplay in that it's intention is to dominate and subjugate vs bond and produce positive feelings. Men aren't taught how to bond anymore and start to think everything is a competition for social credit.
I agree with /user/trplurker, I talked with a close male friend of mine and he asked me how it was going. Instead of telling him my usual, I told him I was having a bad fucking day at work. And then he opened up to me and told me what was going on in his life. Some douche bag kept ribbing him at work and his mom had cancer, etc.
After he got to finally vent, I helped build him back up. Just by remembering that he was a wolf, not a punching bag. After a few days he called me back and said thanks and that things were better.
If he only endlessly complained and never did anything about it then I wouldn't care.
He told me the only reason he opened up is because I did it first.
Usually i'm a positive fucking rock.
I also agree with the rest of the redpill posters on this subreddit.
I had an awesome connection with a woman, we got along great mentally emotionally and spiritually, we were extremely open with each others thoughts and feelings. And then over time our relationship just crumbled hard. We both didn't feel the chemistry between each other.
And I fucked up because I shared my feelings and basically bled on this woman regularly cleaning up trauma's that have occurred to me over a 10 year period. By talking with her I helped myself heal, but i burned that relationship to the ground.
And in the end it broke something in me. Over time my don't give a fuck factor has gone up lots. Awesome girl rejects me online? I don't care. Am I going to do what I did in the past, and be someone's emotional pillow or beta orbiter? No way.
You can't be someone's puppy. They don't want that. If they wanted that they'd get a real puppy to play with and nurture. Women want men, someone rock hard they can lean on. Opening emotionally up can be okay but in real fucking moderation.
And that's why i'm glad to be on this forum. Because honestly, fuck being a pure beta. I'm worth more than that and I want more than that.
I've started working out to get my ass in shape. I've got a fantastic job. And now i'll find a woman under my terms.
This is really true, and something I've had to learn time and time again.
might as well throw in my sad sap story.
I had been dating a girl for two years. we'd even moved in together. Throughout the years I was with her I was at the top of my game, great job.. involved in sports, progressing well at the gym. We were deliriously happy together. Even thinking about starting a family together.
Sadly, around this time a close family member passed away. My uncle. a stroke got him.. it was kinda unreal how quickly he was gone. This guy meant the world to me, he'd been a mentor to me as a child. He was a mechanic. I remember these amazing afternoons working on his cars with him during the holidays.
anyway, His death hit me pretty hard and I was pretty depressed for a while. I dropped almost all of my sports and hobbies, even took time off work. After a few days of me moping around, she asked what was wrong. I shrugged her off the first few times, but she was pretty persistent. She told me i could tell her anything, and as I'd consoled her many times when she'd broken down, she wanted to be there for me.
So I told her.. about everything. just let it all pour out. Even started crying. There I was sobbing in her lap. To be honest, it helped. I felt better after. But, the relationship changed after that. Sex dropped off pretty quickly. It was a change after the daily rough sex we would usually have. She started going out at night with friends more, leaving me alone at home.
After about two months. We finally had the talk. She wasn't happy anymore. Just didn't feel the spark. Still loved me, but wanted to move on with her life. she moved out about a week after that. Even got to find about my replacement, some fucking prick from her dancing class.
But jesus.. two years.. thrown away like nothing.
I deal with my problems myself now. Find a good punching bag at the gym, fire off some rounds at the range. I don't complain to women anymore, it does change the way they see you. And they will drop you like nothing.
Men are humans, women are just business.
.
Thanks bro. You're right, plenty of guys have had it worse.
I was pretty bitter about it for a while. I just couldn't understand how she could drop me like that. This sub has helped explain a lot of things like that.
I've come to accept I dropped the ball on that one. It wasn't part of our relationship contract and I shouldn't have expected it to be. Otherwise she was a great girl to be with. So I don't hold that against her anymore.
Your car needs an oil change every once in a while and so do you as a flawed imperfect human being. Are you going to scrap your car you poured time and hard money into because it begins whining every once in a while? As long as it functions well most days what is the problem?
Any woman not willing to accept this is not worth her weight in salt. Which usually isn't much.
thanks bro, although honestly she was a pretty amazing girl to be with. Turned my place into a real home, was a great cook and was very loving. Great with kids too.
When she saw me broken down like that, it was the first time she had to comfort me and be the 'rock' in the relationship. I think it was just too much for her and she lost the feeling of security she'd gotten from me before that.
This sub has helped me open my eyes to a lot of things like this. So I'm grateful its around.
Women just arent concerned about measuring up to your world view. If your view differs from their own, its disregarded.
The salt would be much less trouble
Still have to hold frame around it though....can't be getting lazy.
So simple, yet so true. Empathy is an evolutionary trait that skipped women
Spot on. They don't care about your feelings. They care about their feelings. Never show weakness.
Fuck bitches, get money.
The moment you give a fuck about what a woman thinks, you've already committed yourself down a road toward misery and loneliness.
Rock out with your cock out. Women will accompany you. The moment they become more problems than the pussy they provide, ditch them. They will either come back begging, or they'll fuck off. What happens to them when they're not with you is not something to worry about, nor should you indulge them.
Don't listen to exes that whine about their current boyfriends, they're only comparing their current relationship to you in hopes you will do something they want, in hopes of reclaiming the relationship. Don't bother.
Never give in to ultimatums. The moment a woman makes one, make her live up to the promise. She will either follow through and make herself miserable, or she'll fold.
Great post. Just a few words to those who appear very unhappy with this and want to pour out their emotions unto their SO like they do with their mothers. Nobody says you can’t do that. This is TRP. We observe realities of the world. This is one of them. We simply observe that if you do X, the result will be Y. Whether or not you decide to do X, depends simply on whether or not you want Y to happen.
There really is no haven for us.
What is the point
reminds me of Neo's reaction when he sees the state of the real world for the first time.
Or when Cypher (the guy who looks like PUA Style) tries to go back into the Matrix.
It's easy to see why so many guys stay plugged-in when the truth is so awful. At some point they wonder, "if my goal is to be happy in life, maybe ignoring these terrible truths and being a beta is a better option after all."
But most of us can never go back, even if we want to.
Which is a pretty funny comparison since the PUA Style "plugged back in" at the end of his best selling book, only to later be burned by his "unicorn". AWALT.
Oh I forgot that... nice parallel.
Idk what exactly was meant by that at the end of The Game. It could have been
Just a tactic to sell books. "After buying this book, not only can you take home hordes of bar sluts, you can even get your dream girl!"
Been intended to take the edge off and make it more palatable. (Just like how in older literary works that include transgressive elements the radical character is often reassimilated by the dominant order at the end, for example, a feminist character end up getting married.)
Evidence that AWALT is false, but that the average guy needs god-tier game to actually find a unicorn.
From you comment, I take it that things didn't work out. Too bad... that book really had me rooting for Style.
I've seen it. Casual visitor, finally made an account recently though.
While visiting is a friendly reminder of how everything really is, realizing how easily discard-able you are is very depressing to me.
There used to be safe havens, there were called the pub, the club house, i.e. male spaces. Feminism is attempting to destroy them, and although they can police buildings and institutions, they can't control a group of human beings.
Your male friends, real friends, are the only ones able to help you deal with your emotional pains without making you lose your masculinity and therefore your desirability to the other sex. Women do not need this from their friends, which I suspect is why their friendships are so different, and sometimes don't feel like friendships at all.
A favorite modern trope is that men dissociate sex from emotions, while women are much less likely to do so. This of course is meant to paint men as jerks, but the reality is that men need to perform this dissociation to get sex at all. Thankfully, we are capable of doing that.
This reality depresses you because you were taught to seek a romantic partner in the same way women do: someone who cares about your well-being, physical and emotional, with whom you can have stimulating conversations and at the same time find attractive and have sex with. A woman can find all the in a man, but a man can't.
It sounds awful, but there's another angle to it: women need to place all those hopes on their one man, or at best two of them if they pursue AFBB. If they lose those men, they lose all of the above, their girlfriends are really only able to superficially console them with platitudes. We on the other hand, still have our loyal friends. We get to be the center of a woman's world, they are just tagging along for the ride.
Goes back to another old trope: a successful LTR is usually only possible if you are a solid 1 or 2 points higher SMV than your girl.
And through acknowledging your own disposability, you see that of others. Not necessarily depressing, but worth embracing; now that you're aware of it, control it.
The samurai only overcame fear by facing his own mortality. When you can attack with no fear, while knowing you may well die, you have mastered your emotions, and will likely prevail.
Keep reading and the shock will pass. You will begin to embrace this reality and mold yourself into the man you want to be with your own strength. It's incredible to look back and see drastically positive changes.
You are your own haven.
Your male friends can be a haven as well... not to talk about your feelings with, but to have good times with and get your spirits raised.
If you need to talk about your feelings with someone, call your mom.
Come on, it's just women. Plenty of havens - just not around women you want to sleep with. Get an interest other than girls.
If you think about it, all the safety nets and emotional support you would get if you were a woman just allows you be stagnant as a human being. There is no incentive to be better and no repercussions for doing nothing.
TRP submitters will often harp on girls for having no personality or any real character. I'm not saying AWALT but in my experience it has been pretty common.
I don't know where I'm going with this but not needing a shoulder to cry on has allowed me to improve my life drastically. I had no job prospects where I was so I moved away with only 500$ after I got off the bus, no job lined up and no place to stay. Now I have a career in the trades and after I join the union I'll be making 100k.
If there had been safety nets my life would still suck.
Red pill mentality is your haven. Ignorance may be bliss, but who the fuck wants to be ignorant?
What were the first few weeks like? How did you get a job? How did you find a place to live? I was never taught these things. I was never taught how to survive.
Got a gym membership ASAP for showers and basic hygiene. Because I moved to an area that was in a boom getting a simple job right away was easy, just told them my mailing address was back where I lived (didn't mention I was homeless) and changed it when I got a place.
As for sleep I stayed in a hostel till I got a place to rent and used a credit card.
One thing you will notice is when hard work is the only option it becomes second nature, take the tv, games and friends away and you become determined. Hope that helps
Thanks man. The gym idea is a really good one, showers/brushing teeth were some of the things I was worried about.
I have to echo what others have said about you building your own havens and that being kind of the point, but I'd like to word it differently.
The reality of life is that what society pushes upon you isn't really all that necessary. You don't have to passively accept your surroundings, you have the power to make things how you want them. Obviously, there are exceptions, you can't make someone love you, bring back someone from the dead, etc. but you have the power to improve life for yourself if you merely grant yourself permission to do it.
So the point is that you live in a massive universe on a small planet in a time when you have unprecedented ability to pursue your dreams and goals. We all have roadblocks along the way, but we also can unshackle our ability to push through those roadblocks and achieve our goals. My passion at the moment is playing guitar. My wife was originally neutral on it and probably expecting me to give up, then she was kind of annoyed at how much money I've spent on it as well as how much time I've put into it. Now though, I've pushed through that and she's actually proud that her husband can play music. My friends and family now know me as a "guitar guy" and not just another random person they know. This summer I started jogging, something I've never been good at. I started in August, which is the absolute worst time to start in a subtropical climate, but I pushed through. I'm now also known as a runner.
The point is, I've got my obligations, my tragedies, and my past. Rather than dwell on that, I meet my obligations head-on, I learn from my tragedies and past mistakes and only use them to guide me into not repeating those things. My goals are forward-looking and I know that I have a finite amount of time here. Rather than wasting it all in the office or listening to my wife complain about how I load the dishwasher wrong, I'm doing things I want to do. That is the point.
I enjoyed reading that, along with everyone else's responses. With these being said I really would just rather not have apart in any of this. RP, BP, either way I'd rather have offed myself by now If I didn't have any obligations.
Build it and they will come.
You gotta be strong, that's the point.
I just want to reiterate this point. No matter what a girl says to you regarding your feelings like "I want you to open up." Do not listen. It might be really hard at first because you might be happy with the attention you know you will get if you initially open up. But if you dont you will have the girl like you for a much longer time.
So what about those girls who are always after the sensitive guy and disgard guys who won't 'talk'? Is it all just a mind game?
she lacks self worth and seeks validation so she is trying to adopt you as her child.
This is the age we live in, too often men will read through a few posts on a forum or social site then mix it around with their own (or what facebook has taught them) ideology add their 2 cents to the subject and present it as something tried and tested.
Save everyone some time and as most commenters have mentioned; shut up, keep your feelings to yourself. Read a FEW books, not just one. There are plenty to help you understand what TRP is about and like everything good, it takes time for most. Spend some time evolving your mind, theory and practice.
Women can't handle a true RP opinion on just about anything. Why? Because women can't handle the truth about how wrong they are, they eat up their own morals and accept what they feel to be the truth about any given scenario, that's why when you see these comical posts from women asking for advice they're asking other women to provide insight. "Please tell me why my boyfriend, now ex, won't talk to me after I asked for an open relationship, I'm losing my mind".. or "I broke up with my bf because he wouldn't take me out, I found out later that he has a ton of money, I'm not a gold digger but isn't he supposed to want to buy me things with that money, why isn't he answering my calls or texts anymore?" Read a book and have your life changed, start with The Rational Male, it's a good starting point. It'll save you from commenting filth and diminishing the good that is this sub.
The OP said it best "There is no reason, at all, ever, to discuss your feelings with a woman. Firstly it's a waste of your time because they don't care (they get no validation or attention from it after all), and secondly it does irreparable harm to your frame and SMV, and is a sure fire way to render any vagina as dry as the sahara in minutes." The next time a woman wants to talk about feelings tell her to talk to one of her girlfriends, she'll thank you later for it.
"Because women don't care about how YOU feel, they only care about how YOU make THEM feel." This can be applied in general to everyone. Notice how when people feel happy, they rarely include you in their happiness. However, when they feel sad or depressed, then they can whore a lot of attention.
WOW! Great post OP and so very timely, as this last weekend reminded me just how true OP's words are.
Three months ago, SO of one year unceremoniously and coldly disposes of me over the phone in 3 short sentences. I replied, "OK" , and hung up. I knew then that ANY response to her would be futile.
Over the last few months, she reached out to me thru emails and texts, trying to lure me back. I resisted.
This weekend, I failed. She made a social request of me, which I granted- details unimportant. Missing sex, I suggested that we get together for the weekend and fuck each others brains out. She said she wanted more than that, an d I told her to forget it then. She gave in and agreed.
BUT WHO WAS THE ONE WHO GAVE IN??
Me. She did not deserve to be with me, but I let my guard down for a piece of fucking ass. Good sex twice and two lame orgasms with them, and two good blow jobs, one excellent with a rousing finish, but still NOT WORTH WHAT i HAD TO PAY WITH MY ACTUAL TIME AND PHYSICAL AND PSYCHOLOGICAL ENERGY.
So I listened to all her ramblings, her FEELINGS, AND ALL HER BORING STORIES and her half-assed apology for disposing of me in such a cold manner. She thought that was good enough for me to take her back.
Then I told her what I thought and what I felt....
Did it work out for me?? Nope! No more than it worked out for me when I told me EX wife how I felt when she did the things she did, and said the things she said.
Ex-SO's eyes get wide, start to tear-up and her equivocations, her rationalizations began. She went on defense, did a bit a gas lighting, and I lost frame, which I regained quickly. I am proud of that, but not proud of my decision to have her over to satisfy my lust, and disgusted with myself for sharing my feelings with a woman/child and loosing self-control and respect.
I asked her to leave. She did. I did not have it in me to shut the door on her, but instead, let held a MEGA-BETA-LONG embrace, with her crying on my shoulder. Thanks be to me and the Gods that I held frame and just listened.
What I should have done is listened to myself in the first place and saved myself and all the time and energy it took.
One positive side note- She knew I was dating and my phone blew-up ALL weekend with texts/calls from dates and potential dates. She knew because I told her and I caught her looking at my locked phone which had texts/missed calls on my home screen from women with their names and dating site they came from. She had to leave my home which I own (she has an appt), and she got to see the improvements in my body that had developed over the last three months. She also got to see and experience the improvements to my home that I had made since she was there last, much like the improvements in my body, two things she will never have the privilege of seeing again
If I had it to do over again, I wouldn't. Its the Fuck Yes/Fuck No Rule and I failed, but learned a lesson.
Yeah dude, you're just too emotional and you're blaming it on her.
You got to spin her as a plate for a bit, no need to let it take up so much mental bandwidth.
Yep, now a day later, and calmer, I totally agree.
Gotta get your DW somehow... Don't sweat it
Haha I use this method to name my contacts as well. "[email protected], [email protected]"
Very well put OP. I forgot this simple rule recently with a girl and lapsed into my old beta-self. The result: We're no longer "friends" or even talking. Before I ever mentioned anything about my feelings she was very responsive and constantly sought my complete validation. I was flirty and always talked dirty sex stuff with her when we spoke irl and online. Then I stupidly fell for her and revealed my feelings (when we had a fight about me hurting her feelings. That she hurt mine too didn't even remotely sink in) and BAM... no more contact. It sucks even more because we work at the same company so we kinda have to be civil like that. But it's really infected right now.
Yeah man I went though the same thing. Although went pretty close to sex, I got neurotic and lost frame. Her having a "lost count" count, and constant male attention seeking attitude I'm an idiot for trying to make her my girlfriend and talk about feelings. Haha.
It's so sad we have to "learn" this aspect of the traditional family. The only time my parents butted heads, was when my father showed weakness. Women want men to "handle" it and don't want to hear the why or how behind it.
Even if the family is run into the ground, the woman will be placated if her reality is "secure."
This subreddit should be renamed to 'absolute truth' or something. Fucking right on, OP.
It is more than just "not caring" about your emotions. THEY ARE ACTIVELY AND POWERFULLY REPELLED BY YOUR NEGATIVE EMOTIONS. AWALT.
Any woman will blather on about how she wants you to "Open up" and "tell her your problems" and then ANY woman will dry up like the planet Mars after about an hour of you being a negative, soul draining whiney-boy.
They may not leave you right away but they WILL stop fucking you almost immediately. They may even give you 1-2 pity fucks and THEN you will find yourself in the desert of sexual withdrawal.
Women are repulsed by the thought of fucking their children. If you show negative emotions and try to get her to validate you, and kiss your boo-boo and make it all better, then you are her child, NOT her MAN.
No. It's not that women aren't interested in your negative emotions, it's just that they don't want to hear a train of negative emotes day in and day out. Once in a while weakness is fine. Everyone wants to help and only a narcissist wouldn't empathize with you. But a long array of woe is me is going to be unattractive to everyone. Not just girls. Think about it. Would you want your SO to constantly be whining about life and its problems? Didn't think so. It's all good in moderation.
Disclaimer: The two of you need to already be emotionally invested in each other for this to mean anything. For example, did you care about how that homeless man you passed in the street was feeling? No? You didn't give him any money? But you'll consider giving your friends money if they really needed it. My point exactly.
Not going to bother with them then.
I know a lot of people will disagree with me on this but here it goes.
Women do care about your feelings aside from the ones that give them tingles. When you are in an LTR with a woman, your SO wants to feel needed, she wants to "help" you with your problems. It's important to let her know what's going on in your head if you're having a rough time. Women can tell if there is something off about you. However, don't tell her everything. Let out little bits of information. Tell her what you've been struggling with, followed by how you're going to figure everything out.
She doesn't actually want to help. She wants to feel needed. When you let out these little bits of information she gets the validation that she's helping you, which makes her feel good. When you follow it up with a plan and let her know everything is alright because you've figured out what you need to do, she see's you as a strong confident man who can handle his own shit.
Don't be a completely emotionless rock. Have emotions, share a small percentage of them with her. But let her know that you've got everything taken care of. She will be happy that you opened up to her because she wants to be a part of your life, and your emotions are a huge part of your life. Furthermore, she will also see that you can handle things on your own but chose to let HER in when you could have easily gone elsewhere. In response she will get the wettest of tingles because she feels validated and knows you're a man.
I don't really agree. the second you slip and show ANY kind of emotion, sadness, BAM! they are gone.
Even if your mother dies, your wife doesn't really care, unless you can use this event to validate her sorry ass somehow.
Also, NEVER cry in front of any woman. NEVER.
Fuck I cried many times.... NEVER AGAIN.
I disagree with this, and I'll tell you why, you should try to nurture strong bonds with other men. This way you might find companionship, sense of belonging and validation that you so desperately crave and keep asking from women. Women will never be able to fulfill you, you'll have to fulfill yourself alone and through friendship with other males. Women are not attracted to empty vessels as they are one themselves, seeking attention and validation from others.
Find a shared interest with other fellow men and do it, there's so many activities you can do with other males: watching sports, hunting, fishing, working out, etc. You'll live a happier live and raise your SMV in the process.
This is the reason I broke up with my girlfriend, I knew I needed time to be with my buddies, I could only meet up with her on weekends, since we lived in different cities, the weekends were the only time of the week I could meet up with my buddies and have fun drink, go out, u name it. I knew that if I stayed with her I would no longer be able to enjoy my life at its fullest and make many crazy things I always wanted to do. So I just told her I wanted to enjoy life, I wasnt ready to marry her on the near future but wanted to be in a relationship with her right now. She said no, she said it was the last time we spoke whatever, 2 days later she was dating a "friend" of mine and well... lol at the end she broke up with me and went to be girlfriend of my friend just because I wanted to do the things my way --.-- women.
She was probably fucking your friend already. Disregard that and remember the old adage: Bros before hos
You'll find better
Telling a woman your true feelings may not make you an alpha, but being afraid to say what you actually think or feel around a woman is about as beta as it gets.
Female here, can confirm. Maybe I'm just a cold-hearted bitch but I at least I'm honest.
Dishonesty is the main problem men face today from women. Most women teach you BP stuff while acting RP.
Are you a lesbian? I don't understand what the point of having a relationship with a Man is if you don't care about his mental well being. Might as well just get a robot or cyborg.
Not surprised there wasn't a response to this
I'm not a lesbian. Sorry for confirming what OP wrote. I care very much about my partner's mental well being. But I also want him to man up and deal with shit like a big boy.
This is why I have a hard time understanding this subreddit. Most of my responses are along the lines of "why would you even deal with a women who does/wants that".
THANKS BABY ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) wanna meet up and be cold hearted with me?
All women care about is what you can do for them. The faster men understand this and accept it.. the easier their lives will become.
honestly, who cares about a guys feelings?
I've found a way to talk about my feelings, but I have a process, I will usually divulge a little bit and then cut it off. If they press then cool they are interested in me, but I make them ask twice, then I spend a lot of time figuring out how I can say it an as few words as possible.
BTW no one cares about your feelings but your mom, dudes don't like emoters either, keep that shit to yourself.
If you want to blather on, get a dog, or go to the shrink. Maybe a bartender will pretend to listen if you are tipping enough. Thats about it.
Well. If talking about oneself makes one feel good then one should. Largely I agree though ;)
I have been in multiple relationships where this is applicable theory. But my last relationship I can say the girl did actually care about my feelings. I never really voiced them to her, but she went out of her to do things for me. When I asked her why she did such actions she would tell me it was cause she was considering how I would feel. I never had to tell her or ask her to do something, she would actually think before she did something and took me into consideration. I am willing to say she was a 1 in 100 girls, just wanted to point out the theory you suggested is not related to all females.
she might care about your feelings but she doesn't want to hear about it is the point.
well she wanted to at first in the relationship. So one night I opened up about my childhood and certain things that I had done in my life. It was kind of like showing a 8 year old a picture of their dead dog. She never asked me about it again haha.
TRP as a subreddit and RP theory in general is not meant to be exposed to as many people as it is now (80k+) and especially given the delivery mechanism (reddit) you're going to get a lot of dumb, angry friendzoned losers here who just want to use rp make things work with "this one girl" who they're currently orbiting.
I knew once the members spiked up high enough this sub would decay. This sub cannot continue to produce good content given the democratic model. The newbies will just upvote crap like they've been doing, and not just crap but ideas straight out of the purple pill. I've sometimes wondered if it's been a concerted effort on the part of srs or some other like minded, time wasting idiots, to undermine the subreddit. But I doubt it.
I have to say I appreciate what the mods have done recently, but in my opinion they made a mistake with that "no concern trolling" thread. That was created right after a rather large spike in membership, with a subsequent influx of crap posts, and anyone who tried to speak up about it was blasted for "concern trolling". This basically helped getting the newbie posts upvoted since the new hitler mod wanted to show he was "serious". Other than that though, I think the mods here have done well.
Be thankful to be a man and have the strength to deal with the shit life throws at you without needin to be lifted by those around you. I don't want to rely on anybody but myself.
Would it be nice to have a woman that understands and keeps the attraction at the same time? Absolutely. But I'm glad it's not something that's expected or needed toget by.
Maybe I'm an exception to the rule, but I have plenty of girl-friends that I can turn to if I am coming down with the feels, or if I need advice/strategy on how to deal with a triflin ass bish. So far they have never steered me wrong. The majority of them are also girls I used to fuck
Key words at the end there... "used to". Ask the wise old fishermen how to fish, don't ask the fish.
That's what the relationship was... we just wanted to fuck each other. Pretty straight forward. Who says you can't be friends after you both mutually lose interest?
Agreed, ex's make great friends imo. I love talking to ex's about shit like that.
That's my main gripe with this subreddit (not RP itself). Most people here always assume that every man here wants to fuck every woman out there.
I have quite a few female acquaintances I can talk to frankly, because I don't want any sexual relationship with them. They might think of me as a BP, but why should I care? They still can provide good input on various topics, especially to learn how women in general thinks. They also learn quickly that they can be brutally honest, because they aren't in any competition with me (as opposed to when they're talking to their female friends).
I just have to make sure that these women never meet the women I want to fuck :)
this post explained the red pill mentality perfectly, gave me a better perspective on it and what I need to change. Thank you OP.
thanks for this red pill, no more pussiness for me fuck this shit Im keeping my feelings to myself from now on, thanks man
You are following an extremist and what seems like completely reactionary idea.
What you fail to realize is that this shit doesn't happen over night. Sure we can agree that reading this shit is annoying, but the reason these people do this is that this is their first encounter with THEIR actions having consequences. Agreed though it's annoying.
This is flat out wrong. "Feelings" are the things that give us both men and women humanity. If you think feelings are restricted to boohooing then you are missing the point of how we as humans communicate. Expressing your feelings and being alpha are not mutually exclusive. In fact quite the opposite being able to accurately use how you feel or what you want to project in a given situation gives you the upper hand in making a decision not only for you, but for those around you women included.
You sound extremely butt hurt. Realistically no one should care how you feel. What matters is that you care how you feel and that it is important to you.
Why are you dancing like a puppet then?
This is bad?
Your whole post makes it sound like you are having more of an identity crisis more than anything else.
EDIT: Down vote away. But your sociopathic jihad on your feelings will only bring you to a sense of hollowness have fun.
Upvoting not because I agree with all your points, but because there has been growing extremism here.
OP mentions the noob posers who think that just subscribing makes them experts even though they don't change their behavior. But there's another kind of newbie poser: the kind who reads the sidebar, takes it as his Koran, and starts waging jihad. "Rollo Tomassi said not to seek validation from others, so any guy who ever smiles is a worthless beta faggot." "Sociopaths are the best people in the world, I wish I could acquire their mental disorder." "You're not a complete nihilist so you're still plugged in and anything you say is feminized trash."
Another example: I recently made a post asking for good questions to ask a girl on a first date to get to know her, and most of the responses boiled down to "asking questions is wrong and if you can't entertain a girl for hours without any input from her, you're not alpha enough and don't deserve a girl."
That kind of fanaticism should be be discouraged. The world isn't as black and white—or alpha and beta—as some people want to think.
I fully expect that these people will downvote me and prove my point.
I wholeheartedly agree with you here. New subscribers need to realize that we speak in generalities, because they are effective in getting a point across. What you read may not literally be true, and reading between the lines is a must. Hopefully this is just a phase while a lot of new subscribers work through their anger.
I think the evolutionary path here needs to be fleshed out and publicized more. Because reflecting on it now, I too had these same feelings of angst and anger that the OP exhibits when I was young and fresh on these ideas. But my greater point remains true to almost 10 years of experience on this subject.
You can not and will not live a truly content life with anger and resentment towards any one or anything else, male or female. The OP and many of the anecdotes presented here are bleed with resentment towards specific people.
Your points are correct. This thread has quickly swarmed with guys circle jerking about their own anecdotes and confirmation bias.
Their path of a black and white world will be reinforced by the echo chamber they steep themselves in. They will not achieve a larger sense of self, only a hallow disdain. This will act as a self serving mechanism to affirm their belief.
I just noticed the post "Reality Check: Dark Triad and Monk Mode" on the TRP front page and was elated. Apparently we're not the only ones here who think TRP has been growing trite and fanatical as the subscriber base has ballooned.
Thank you I will have to give this a read next.
Could have been a while ago, but there was a post here that said that blabbering on all of the time is pure BP, and you just stop and let the woman talk. Both can't be true at the same time.
I get what you're saying but when I display the general traits lauded on this subreddit I feel happier. I feel like I am being true to my nature, not the bullshit behaviors I was raised with.
It doesn't feel like I need to put on an act, instead it feels liberating. But notice I used the words "feel" a lot. There is a very important aspect of emotionality involved with being masculine. To me it means controlling your emotions, having them work for your benefit instead of blowing you around like a leaf in the wind.
Your post is spot on. Continue applying this in a healthy way.
You make very good points but I guess the personal attacks you made on the OP got people butt hurt which is why you're getting downvoted.
Have my upvote.
I may have been harsh, but this echo chamber is a bit ridiculous don't you think?
I rarely come to this sub nowadays because of this. It's mostly just shit posts like these coming from guys who have been on TRP for a few months and only know how to scream "BETA BETA ALPHA ALPHA" and "AWALT AWALT AWALT" like the world is all black and white.
I can summarize this entire post in 2 sentences: "Don't break frame. Don't be a fucking pussy". Common sense right? Apparently not.
Then there's this whole hate towards women and how they don't really care about YOU as a human being but rather about how you make THEM feel or the size of you wallet etc. Again, bullshit. Women care more about how THEY feel yes, but don't you too? They care plenty about your feelings as long as you're not bawling your eyes out in front of them on a regular basis like the huge manchild you are. Again, should be common fucking sense, how do you feel when one of your friends is knocking at your door again crying about the 10th girl who dumped him this year. You'll probably think "ugh this again, why doesn't he fucking man up".
Seriously, as time passes more and more social degenerates with no experience at all join this sub then 5 months later act like they're some sort of TRP guru "UGH WOMEN ARE OUT TO GET YOU" "AWALT, 5 TIPS TO NOT GET FUCKED OVER BY WOMEN" "HOW TO BE THE FUCKING ALPHA OF THE PACK" and shit. This sub is really taking a misogynistic turn.
Sorry about the terrible syntax I'm in a hurry
I'm starting to think this sub is the screenshot of the virgins in Muslim heaven episode of south park.
then it's settled, women are a waste of my time.
This is what's wrong with this sub. Generalizations everywhere. Yeah there are a lot of bitches but there are decent women too. Maybe it's because I'm from a different country and culture etc where majority (not all) of women are in check and not the bitches you guys describe. Maybe because most of the users here are talking about western women? I'm not hating on this sub at all, there is a lot of great content around here, especially about self-improvement. but we gotta stop generalizing.
100% agree. Just so much generalization about what women want and what women are programmed for.
This sub has good information. But I like replacing the word "woman" with "female instinct".
Such as in this case "the female instinct doesn't care about your feelings"
I believe that. But I think how prominent the female instinct is in a woman is something that varies. Not all women are equally womanly.
For example in this case there may be some women who actually do care about your feelings. But I wouldn't be surprised if they aren't the most feminine girls.
But guess what, not every man is equally manly. And that's just how things work.
People are great at rationalizing their decisions, even though all of them are done on an emotional level. That's simply how the human brain works, there's nothing anybody can do about it.
You can manage to manipulate women to act in a certain way, because their emotions tell them to act in this way. Afterwards, they will try to find a way to explain it using rational concepts and sometimes succeed. That doesn't mean that they're rational, only that they are more creative with their explanations.
(The same is true of men as well, of course, but that's outside of the scope of RP)
For sure, this sub is a real gem. And I like your replacement of the term. It allows for a gradient. Thanks!
the description given here is generally for american broads, which, as a general rule, you stay the fuck away from.
Yep. These things seem to change a lot based on culture.
I mean for example if you had a Japanese woman who is more on the traditional side, she would probably would be very different from a collage graduate American white woman.
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American women want the best of everything. They want their independence, empowerment, sexual freedom, but also they want to be precious flowers who are given things and pampered.
They don't realize there is a price for everything.
I remember a very (very) smart and pretty girl I just met who became very compliant after I told flat out I was very unhappy in my life even without being clear about why (didn't even know myself).
On the other hand expressing deep affection toward a 3 was reciprocated by cold shoulder hypocritical text.
Ha life.
I've been married 17 years and my wife usually cares about my feelings, she demonstrates that over and over. I don't know what kind of women OP spends time with, but if you choose the right woman to marry then you don't need to be a rock all the time. Sharing the rough stuff and the great stuff is what it's all about. Lately she had to repeatedly choose between comforting me or comforting our daughter and she chose me. Maybe most women are like OP says, I wouldn't know, but don't just assume they all are or you might overlook the few actual nice ones who are out there.
My theory is that if there are good ones, they are in LTR from a pretty young age and loyal, and so you never ever get even close to them, and so they don't matter for anybody else. If these unicorns really exist, they are irrelevant.
That's a good point actually.
I now get off on breaking up with girls who think they are doing me a favor by being with me, the shock reaction that they have and the endless texts about how they never liked me and I'm an asshole blah blah blah...Feels so good.
Thank you for this. I really need to get this point through my head.
Then why the hell do women seek so desperately "deep secrets" from men? Is it so they can establish a deep connection or is it most likely a shit test to assess your frame?
It's because it's a secret. If you knew a deep secret only a few people knew it would make you more connected to that person on an emotional level.
Yeah, until they use it against you...
Lol that's why it's a secret! It's not just women who use secrets against people. You see politicians do it all the time. People are exploitative by nature. Know who you are telling the secret to. Would you tell a bully in high school that you stopped wetting the bed at 14? Or would tell your GF instead?
Of course, there is always context. If you have an extroverted loud boisterous GF, chances are you would want to keep that a secret. But if your GF is introverted and keeps to herself mostly, then you may be able to tell her without fear of her "using it against you."
my 2 cents: not showing "feelings" is equivalent to being afraid to show your hand, therefore it is a blue-pill behavior. I think it is very important for a man to be able to express himself in a clear, confident and honest way. It is not so much about showing your hand as much as it is about maintaining a solid frame beneath. When you are RP at the core, it doesn't matter what is said-- I'd say here, being able to expose your feelings shows confidence.
That's because nurturing is typically a word used only towards children (or the sick). You make it sound like women don't like to take care of their men, which is complete bullshit.
The first part of Your post is also what the moderators refer to as "Concern Trolling". It also adds to the noise to signal ratio. So to you, I say STOP IT. Leave the moderating to the moderators.
Who exactly is he concerned for?
It doesn't even take the redpill to know that telling
womenpeople how you feel about something is a waste of time. You can only tell awomanperson what you will accept and what you will not accept.FAIL: I makes me sad when you fuck him
WIN: Whatever's cool with me, babe. BTW, can I have that spare key I gave you? I need to lend it to someone tonight.
That's not true. Women do that all of the time, and they fare very well with it, because nobody expects them to behave rationally (except in technical fields, where they then throw a hissy fit because nobody takes them seriously afterwards). In fact, they're so successful with it that they even tell men they're talking to to do it, too. That's a huge trap you must not fall for.
Isn't it kind of beta to give a fuck what women think, whether you share your feelings or not?
Not necessarily. Working out to look good isn't beta.
In reading the comments to OP, many people have mentioned keeping emotions away during sex etc. How can i go about doing that?
I find it very easy to become emotional/lovey dovey with my FWB simply because we cuddle and kiss and whatever cheesy stuff before and afterward.
This and other posts like it are all about pandering to a woman's unreasonable demands. You are entering her frame and are extremely concerned with how she responds to you even if her response is immature and selfish. Outside of not sharing too much, being an emotional rock that is unmoved by anything is the ultimate form of pandering. The beta sacrifices his time, emotions and money for a woman. You are suggesting sacrificing your very humanity to keep a woman.
The reason women do this shit is because men tolerate it.
This and the other juvenile 'army boot camp' shock jock posts are trash. You are human and you are going to struggle sometimes, that's life. If you are a great guy and she can't stay with you through that she is not your friend and needs to get out of your life.
No, most women arent your friends. If you want a friend, get a dog, or a bro.
Women actually care about your feelings way more than you think.. If they are needy feelings, they creep women out. If they are unconditional they may develop needy feelings toward you A.K.A. Love
Then it's settled, women are a waste of my time.
as a woman, i like this post. i really do. but i feel some points are up for debate. if you care to, let me know.
I like how this post is downvoted without even a retort.
She shoulda read the rules.
Shit like "as a woman" is always frowned upon. And it's not because we don't allow women to comment.
Well ok. I frown upon a lot of things. But afterwards I bring something to the table if I'm in front of a captive audience. Because I can either just downvote and say nothing, or I can say something can open up some productive conversation.
True, I didn't downvote that proud woman either. Similar to your point, I believe that a downvoting culture will eventually lead to people being afraid to speak up if they have an opposing view.
But this bitch didn't actually say anything. She generously made us aware of her sex and then vanished, so she's not any better than the downvoters.
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you've got some learning to do
Treating her like what, exactly?
Here is what I got from this post:
The one thing I don't agree with though is if they act nurturing towards you, that you are doing shit wrong. Listen, my gf looks after me well, she does my cleaning, makes me food, asks about how well I am and does her best to nurture/please me. This is not through weakness, it is through strength.
Also there is a difference between bitch crybaby emotions and showing real authentic vulnerability. It's a subtle difference, but one is a beta behaviour, the other is extremely attractive. Almost just saying things how they are, opening yourself up for attack and being okay with whatever happens. That takes balls and frame, its more of a pussy move to just sit on your emotions totally and keep them locked up. Will just lead you to being a passive aggressive mangina.
Other than that, good red-pill knowledge.
This isnt red pill, at least not in my opinion, nor does it make sense from a biological perspective.
Does the silverback show strength when he is vulnerable? Does a lion? Nope. Vulnerability means that the alpha is weak and is going to get challenged more often. In fact, when you think about it, is there any male animal in nature that benefits from weakness in the mating game? I can't think of any and given the striking similarities between humans and other animals - one could say that the same truth applies to us.
There are some spiders and mantis where the male gets eaten by the female after mating, so the female has enough energy for generating those eggs.
Never saw it as a role model, though.
As incredibly tempting that might be for me, I'll take a pass on that and will go for the second choice of getting some the second time around
Women do not give a fuck about YOU. FIFY.
i don't believe in such generalizing but i don't think women require you to be some steady rock all the time
maybe certain high maintanance ones
the implication here is that if you show a moment of weakness in an otherwise meaningful relationship, she'll leave you which is total bull
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hmmm, this is one of the areas where i disagree with the red pill.
ive had 3 brain tumours and sometimes i just want a cuddle, ya know what i mean?
lol, go ahead buddy, nobody's telling you not to do if you want to do it. This advice is given in the context of relationship success. If you wanna indulge in a bathtub of chocolate and candies, go for it. Just don't get mad if you get sick from it.
not really sure what you mean here.
who else is there to open up to if not your significant other?
It's a metaphor for indulging in good shit despite its negative consequences that will pop up after the fact. Vomiting your feelings onto a girl may seem like a good and positive thing, but you fail to see the negative consequences of it.
You've got your bros to "open up" to or a personal journal.
Women are natural DTs.
This is true but I can think of an exception.
You must consider what value a woman is to you. If she is just for sex, then a prostitute is probably cheaper than a wife. But if your best buddy dies and you need someone you trust to express the grief, part of the wife's job is to console you. If you are bawling your eyes out like a girl she won't be attracted to you as much, and in fact there is no way that being sad can ever make you more attractive to a woman, but if you have a valuable woman then you can afford the luxury of expressing your feelings to her in times of extreme crisis. This is one way to determine part of the value a woman brings to a relationship.
This attitude is exactly what OP explained is wrong. The only luxury a LTR/marriage will get you is that if you leave so you can burden the world with your feelings, she will still be there when you get back from that trip (if it hasn't taken too long).
I said that OP was correct, but he gave the example of some petty shit about relationships. Never talk to her about your feelings in that respect, I agree. But in an extreme crisis - death of a loved one, severe injury, PTSD etc - That's when having a wife is handy.
Sure, a woman's nurturing instinct is meant for kids not the guy who fucks her, but see what happens when you get sick.
There are examples posted here all of the time, where when the man has a life crisis (like the mother dying or cancer in the family), the wife goes fucking somebody else and files for a divorce (in that order). You're expecting loyalty in women, when RP teaches the exact opposite of that.
It saddens me to see/hear this opting out of relationships,feeling unimportant and that your feelings are being disregarded. Its hard to see this hatred towards women. I'm gonna go hide in my closet and cry now. Good luck on the boycott guys I think woman need to try to gain a better understanding of this and then maybe we can reboot, be kind, love each other again..
there actually is feeing accepted and comfortable, just like your mom made you feel when she tucked you in at night.
This is pathetic. You still need to "hide your feelings" like a little boy ? Real alphas don't need to hide their feelings because they don't have any.
Ok. And what is a man to do for the next 10-20 years of his life until he gets to that point of being a "real alpha" ?