How much does physical appearance matter?

prairiewoman · 2019-09-02T13:55:16+00:00

To me it’s important. I need to find someone physically and sexually attractive in order to envision a relationship with them

boatyscxslave · 2019-09-02T14:06:35+00:00

For me, a man's appearance will get my initial attention.

But its needs to be more than looks to go any further than an appreciative look.

Its a man's charisma that is the panty dropper and lure to a relationship. Confidence, charm, humour, swagger. I've dated some men that were not the equivalent of Brad Pitt in his prime, but their overall demeanour is enough to render me completely useless.

No point pretending someone gets you hot when they don't though, I tried that.

Marie_1986 · 2019-09-02T14:03:36+00:00

You have to have initial attraction

cassandrarose39 · 2019-09-02T14:49:45+00:00

Attraction is important but for me it's not all physical. Things my husband has going for him in the physical realm are that he is built like a linebacker, towers over me, and makes me feel tiny. He has perfect teeth and gorgeous blue eyes. His face is symmetrical with high cheeks bones, full lips, and a proportionally appropriate nose. He is not the most physically attractive guy I have dated but he's not hard on the eyes either. He wasn't so attractive that seeing him the first time made me giddy and ready to sleep with him, but his personality was such that by the third date any reservations I might have had about looks were forgotten and I didn't want to say no to the moves me was putting on me. We've been sleeping together nearly four years now (married almost one) and it is kind of absurd how I still can not keep my hands off of him. If we go more than 48 hours without sex, I am super antsy for the next time. It is a struggle to not initiate frequently because I pretty much always want him. There were some reservations at first because compared to the men I typically dated he was less conventionally attractive on a physical level, but I can also honestly say now that I have never felt so much attraction and chemistry with anyone I have been with before. He is also hands down the best in bed, which I am sure helps things too.

kspinner · 2019-09-02T15:32:01+00:00

Like others have said, I have to be physically attracted to him and naturally inspired to want to be intimate with him. Beyond that, I'm not weighing men against one another based on how likely they are to be on the cover of a magazine, it's more of a Pass/Fail, and then the other criteria come into play.

amadexodus · 2019-09-02T14:08:22+00:00

Physical appearance for me matters to a certain extent for two reasons.

First, I have to be sexually attracted to him. It doesn't have to be immediate, and it can grow as I spend more time with them (e.g. why I have developed crushes on friends in the past).

Second and more importantly, I place a lot of weight on his health and physical fitness. Does he eat well and exercise regularly? Does he take care of his body? In the context of vetting, I'm looking for values, as I am committed to a healthy and very active lifestyle so I can live for as long as possible and push my body to do hard things like run marathons and lift heavy things. I refuse to marry a man who doesn't have that same commitment. I've lucked out with my Captain as he is an avid runner and triathlete who can run circles around me.

Granted, I am 23, so I can be pickier when it comes to physical appearance. But I would never, ever compromise when it comes to how a man's physical appearance reflects his health and lifestyle, even if he's "perfect" in every other way. I don't want to marry a man and then start tearing my hair out 10, 20, 30 years later because he gets drunk every night or because he now has diet-induced heart problems.

Anonymous_fiend · 2019-09-02T17:09:53+00:00

A lot! Otherwise it’s just friendship. They don’t have to be the hottest you’ve seen but this is going to be the person you commit yourself to sexually so choose wisely. I wasn’t as sexually attracted to my man at first (he let himself go a bit and I just got out of a relationship and other issues that I should’ve gone back into nun mode for) but objectively I could tell that he had good features and was wanting to work on himself. Before the first date he shaved and got a haircut. If he hadn’t I probably would’ve put him in the just friends category because I’m attracted to people who take care of themselves. That being said attractiveness is a requirement but it’s not the only requirement. Someone who treats you well and makes a good captain is more than a hot body/pretty face. Everyone ages.

secret_4ever13 · 2019-09-02T16:16:11+00:00

Hello! From my experience, it is very possible that u might not like the guy's look at the start of the relationship. However, as you will get to know the guy more, will fall for him more, you will start finding him cuter and hotter everyday. Thats just how attraction works.

Of course, if the guy looks way to bad and u can't imagine walking besides him, then thats a different story. But not every guy needs to be Gorge Clooney.

However, its just my opinion. Go with your guts. But really, I use to find my guy pretty avg before, and now he looks drop dead hot in my eyes. :)

alien_eater289 · 2019-09-02T20:20:06+00:00

Personally looks are bottom of the barrel for me. I mean I guess if I truly find him unattractive then it wouldn’t work out but looks are some of the last things I care about. Caring too much about good looks will cause you to miss out on some great people. Sounds like you’ve met a pretty ideal man - I’d go for it.

ragnarockette · 2019-09-02T14:56:05+00:00

Attraction matters a lot. But for women physical appearance is only a small part of the attraction equation. Confidence, power, charm, scarcity are all very important as well.

For me personally I happen to be married to a brunette Skarsgaard, but a lot of my past flames have been short, overweight, or objectively ugly (my ex looked like a balding Sergei Gainsbourg...). However the one thing that is a non-starter for me is he has to be well dressed.

_HEDONISM_BOT · 2019-09-02T15:35:33+00:00

It's very important.

[deleted] · 2019-09-02T16:42:17+00:00

Chemistry and attraction are really important to the longevity and intimacy of a relationship—unless sex isn’t important to either of you, in which case it shouldn’t matter at all

Zegiknie · 2019-09-03T10:57:08+00:00

Attraction matters, otherwise just stay friends.

Appearance also says something about his character: nobody comes by a hotty bod if they're lazy short-term thinkers. Nobody comes by a gorilla physique unless they take steroids and spend significant time on exercise. Poor guys in expensive clothes aren't compatible with me in terms of values re: decision making (snobbery over thrift). Sloppy outfits are often symptomatic of lack of self-respect. Overly groomed means either no life/too much time or lack of value overlap (looks over fun time - again, depends on your personal values).

Sometimes people

NotALawyerButt · 2019-09-02T14:01:37+00:00

I prefer a man who is a bit overweight and works out to a skinny one who doesn’t.

Yoshino-tan · 2019-09-02T20:18:27+00:00

I have this friend, she's always looking at the face of a man, he needs to be handsome. So her ex had (my opinion) a baby face, always done and styled hair and oh my God nice skin! Also he was slim and just some inches taller than her.

I did not find him attractive in any way. No manliness from my point of view. A boy and no man, you know.

While a man should care for his looks I find it more attractive if he's tall, big hands so he can hug you and make you feel safe. No need for abs and while they are appreciated they are no must if he's not obese there's no problem.

And my favourite: broad shoulders. I just melt. It's the best I can think of. It makes me feel safe, feminine and small in comparison to him.

It makes a big difference if the posture is great/upright. So men: chin up, chest out (I guess lol) and shoulders square and show those ladys your sexy backs. ;)

Also no (excessive) drinking and smoking. And eating rather healthy, no junk food every weekend.

diotimasimha · 2019-09-03T05:20:59+00:00

As long as he manages his life, has a vibrant aura, a loving character and is an authentic man I dont care if he is not the most handsome California Dreamboy. I want a man, who is with me when we are 80 years old. And I want a man, who loves me and wants to provide for me.

Surely, men should have a physical appearance which says health and mental stability (eg good body posture) as well.

Body and appearance will change your whole life. It has worth but we shouldnt overvalue it.

melitele3 · 2019-09-02T15:12:05+00:00

For me physical appearance isn’t that important.

The most important thing that I look at first is intelligence and “depth”. If I can’t have philosophical, political or “scientific” talks with him it is a lost cause. Second of all is his ambition and ability to provide for a family. If he works hard and is good with money (meaning he can invest and isn’t a spender) that is a huge huge plus.

The two above factors are the most important for me and I will not be with a person who doesn’t have both of them.

When it comes to physical appearance man doesn’t need to have a handsome face or amazing hair or style for me to be attracted to him. It is all about how he behaves. If he acts mature and manly and has manners I will be most likely attracted to him regardless of his attire or looks.

There are certain no no’s for me when it comes to appearance but I think it is quite normal to dislike them: - if he isn’t clean and can’t keep house clean (dirty nails, holes in clothes and greasy hair, spoiled food and cans everywhere) that will be a turn off - if he is obese I won’t be attracted

But things like handsome face, muscles, abs, great hair, no wrinkles, tallness, amazing style won’t matter to me at all.

My relationship was always built on character traits rather than on passion or sexual attraction.

cassandrarose39 · 2019-09-02T13:44:46+00:00

It’s not as important to women like it is to men. But I was relieved when my husbands picture matched his looks. There has to be some initial attraction.

confusednsqueeky · 2019-09-03T00:16:13+00:00

Physical appearance is important to me, but what I see in a man are usually not super common things. My criteria are: Must walk manly, must talk in a manly voice, mustn't look nervous or have ANY jitters/excessive movement so he must look calm. And then from the regular stuff I like a proportionate man (so midheight, not tall), ful lips and average/chubby (not skinny) These are my criteria and my SO meets them 100% percent and everybody I liked, basically ever, had met this criteria.

valleycupcake · 2019-09-03T02:01:20+00:00

It’s only a little important. If he eats clean and works out, he’s probably attractive enough from the neck down. His face has to be pleasant enough to look at every day, and something you wouldn’t mind passing to your kids, but there’s a large variety of what would be acceptable. As time goes by, other traits matter so much more.

aWorldBornDead · 2019-09-08T19:38:32+00:00

For me I care more about the face than about weight or body type. It's like women and how many typically prefer tall guys. You either have it or don't.

Title	How much does physical appearance matter?
Author	rngrl12
Upvotes	55
Comments	35
Date	September 2, 2019 1:41 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/cyp3st/how_much_does_physical_appearance_matter/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/how-much-does-physical-appearance-matter.252619 https://theredarchive.com/post/252619