This is something I've noticed a lot, in both dating and the world as a whole. Men and women are given totally different messages. Men are told to improve themselves, work on themselves, work on their hobbies, work on their social skills, go to the gym, lose weight, anything designed to make them a better person. This is the narrative that men grow up believing, or they learn it pretty quickly in adulthood.

Whereas for women, the message is the opposite. Women are told "you are beautiful just the way you are". They are told that a man must love them for who they are - they all believe this and parrot it on social media or dating sites. Particularly you will come across a lot of overweight women who openly state that they have "curves" and a man must be able to "handle them" (basically this is a sexual a euphemism, and another way of saying "I don't want to put in the effort to change or improve myself").

Feminism seems to have taught women not to do anything for the pleasure of a man. They will put on makeup and wear nice clothes, but that's about as far as any improvement goes, and women view the makeup and clothes as just being themselves anyway. They all seem to believe they are entitled to a gorgeous man who will treat them right, without improving any aspect of themselves.

Why is the message so different between the two sexes? Who or what is to blame for it?