No strings attached: the nature of casual sex in college students.

TheBookOfSeil · 2019-02-11T18:42:26+00:00

I don’t think casual sex “makes” women depressed. They are depressed and seeking a temporary escape from their depression, so they have casual sex. It isn’t much different from any other form of escapism.

MrHerbSherman · 2019-02-11T17:27:21+00:00

If you believe no causality - why do you think depressed women engage in casual sex?

Because our pc culture currently is making women think that behaving like men do will make them feel like men do about it. "If men can be sluts and it's no big deal, women should be sluts and it shouldn't be a big deal either". Which then obviously doesn't go the way they think it will because men and women are wired differently. But they'll keep repeating that the results aren't the same because of socialization differences, and that it has nothing to do with biology.

Meanwhile, women crave feeling like they are wanted (like every person does) and they exploit that by not properly gate-keeping the sexual marketplace, thinking that if a little bit of a thing is good, then 100x of that thing must be even better, then proceed to be baffled that their relationship market value is decreasing. Straight up have no idea why. Women have in fact been brainwashed into thinking they'll feel better if they behave casually about their sex lives. And they make themselves believe it's empowering.

Source: am and ex-feminist, graduated in a major that is completely dominated by women in my country. Most of the women majoring with me turned super to the left during the school years. The number of students that graduate with straight up diagnosed general anxiety disorder or general depression is around 25%. So you can only imagine how many are undiagnosed. I think the culture of pulling all nighters plays a role too, to be fair, but I find it hard to believe the gigantic hook-up culture in my school has nothing to do with it, especially taking into consideration the men in my major seemed to be doing significantly better, mentally, than the women.

A girl I'm close to I know really wants to be a mom and have a family. She's super super casual about sex, though, having slept with at least 4 times the amount of men I have when she's 3 years younger (I'm 26). A few weeks ago she told me she doesn't think she'll ever get married. I thought initially she meant she doesn't want to (which is fine, not everyone has to want the same things as me), but no, she wants to, but she doesn't think she'll ever find a guy. Which was so sad to hear. She has no idea the choices she's making will determine if high quality men will be attracted to her. And I know she'd be offended if I suggested it, so I try not to bring it up too directly. Meanwhile she goes on posting risque pictures on instagram thinking it's empowering. This is happening to a lot of women I know. It's depressing.

Edited for anecdote.
Edit 2: thanks for the silver!

passwordgoeshere · 2019-02-11T18:19:39+00:00

Wouldn't it be causal the other way around?

They could be having multiple partners BECAUSE they are depressed?

Venicedreaming · 2019-02-11T23:35:35+00:00

I half agree with this because I fully believe casual sex is detrimental to both genders with both mental and physical risks accounted. The data may shows that college guys who are getting laid are happier, but keep in mind outgoing and attractive males are generally happier anyhow and usually top of the cream picks. Chicken and eggs there.

I don’t recommend casual sex culture to anyone as that usually damage people and affect long term mate bonding and family prospect for a solid society building. I mean, just look at your average TRP guys and see how bitter and numb they have become, very similar to the femenazi chicks who hate men

ireadredpillonce · 2019-02-11T15:56:43+00:00

I believe in casualty. What makes women distressed? Casual sex represents a failure of their biological imperative and evolution hasn't caught up to the pill and birth control. Whether she is aware of it consciously or not, she desires increasing security and commitment from sexual relations. See the almost scheduled predictablity of female plates/fuck buddies either asking for commitment or slowly trying to get more security/resources from the fuck buddy.

There's an interesting book called "what women want - what men want" that goes into a lot of detail on this topic that I found quite interesting.

throwinout · 2019-02-11T16:11:40+00:00

If you believe in causality - what about casual sex makes women, and not men, distressed?

Because deep down, they know being a slut is something to be ashamed of and not some conspiracy concocted by the Patriarchy.

despisedlove2 · 2019-02-11T15:54:25+00:00

Did this actually need research? I am not knocking it - it is good to establish facts. However, the people who flunk biology aren't going to be convinced by facts since they received cognitive lobotomies (aka a "liberal" arts "education" with a lot of "studies" type of courses).

thrownaway2thewind · 2019-02-11T22:14:55+00:00

I'm a dude and I just want to say higher no count for us isn't always so great either, I have a really hard time having casual sex with people I don't know or lack any connection with. I think sex is better when its with someone you truly care for, on both sides.

rh0cwr51w9 · 2019-02-12T05:18:53+00:00

depressed men would engage in casual sex to fill the void if anyone would fuck them. I imagine this is what depressed women are doing, except men will still fuck a depressed woman

For the other end of the spectrum (happy people), i think the motivations are more different. There's an internal part (men are more likely to be power-seeking, and having lots of casual sex is an expression of that. they're also better at it when they're not depressed. ), and an external part (women get social shaming for visibly having lots of casual sex. it's not uncommon for women who do have a decent amount of sex partners to be quiet about it, which is a lot less fun than boasting about it, even if the sex itself is enjoyable)

maljo24 · 2019-02-12T11:15:04+00:00

Associations are not cause and effect. It could be the more distressed women seek casual sex. This study cannot tell us that casual sex causes women to have distress.

diener_zweier_herren · 2019-02-11T16:05:15+00:00

I mean an obvious thing that affects it is how society treats it.

Like males are depressed by being virgins and females aren't according to this study; obviously the social responses to that play a big factor.

I mean a lot of people who engage in same-sex sexual stuff are depressed about it and this is higher in places where there is a higher stigma to it; could this maybe be because they are scorned for it more?

diffdedbed · 2019-02-11T16:04:30+00:00

I don't think this is any deeper than a societal pressure thing, which is also in part guided by our evolution.

Our society and brains are still wired for pre-birthcontrol living.

Guys prove their mental worth by being with multiple women, women feel a lack of worth.

None of this is surprising. I'd caution though that general trends don't make it so that every woman feels this or every man feels that.

petrichordium · 2019-02-11T16:35:59+00:00

The obvious liberal response to this is that our cultural reactions to female sexuality are too charged to make any bio essentialist judgments. The “reeee sluts” posts that occur here every fifteen minutes don’t exist in a vacuum. They’re what women figuring themselves out sexually face. One of the sluttiest girls i know delayed losing her virginity until after high school simply bc she did not want to be discussed as a locker room trophy or as an object of derision.

Now i am not actually lumping you in with that tripe. Some of yours posts (and some radfem ones) have made me think more about how women are pushed to hyper sexual themselves early. But crucially that is just the rock vs the hard place. The fact that women are sexualized pretty much as soon as they’re biologically signaling post pubescence, doesn’t mean they’re not ALSO culturally punished to a greater degree than men when they express that sexuality. Their sexuality simply means more, and it’s disingenuous to wave away how impacting that can be.

I’m not trying to diminish the validity of these stats or tell men they shouldn’t factor in the sexuality and mental health of prospective partners. I am not even arguing that those cultural forces are “Bad!” (I believe they are but it doesn’t matter). I’m just saying you cannot establish biotruths from this. Causality or non causality, it doesn’t matter. It’s impossible to know whether those women are depressed bc they are women or bc female sexuality is policed, ridiculed, demonized, and forced to carry the burden of male lust.

flamingoinghome · 2019-02-11T16:10:10+00:00

> If you believe in causality - what about casual sex makes women, and not men, distressed?

You know how you guys are always on about "sluts" being unsuitable romantic partners? And you know how a bunch of promiscuous women felt the need to make a campaign against slut-shaming?

IT IS A MYSTERY.

Littleknownfacts · 2019-02-11T17:58:49+00:00

If you believe no causality - why do you think depressed women engage in casual sex?

The same things that make depressed men partake in drugs or other dangerous and harmful activities. It's a form of escapism.

Mr_Smoogs · 2019-02-11T17:17:59+00:00

I see the question coming up here and elsewhere: at what point does a 'preference' become bullying?

'Slut-shaming' is, in essence, bullying. Attempting to intimidate or harm a group of people based on their perceived vulnerability. We can generally agree that once an action reaches the point of deliberately inflicting harm, that is not a morally defensible action. Women who engage in casual sex fear bullying, are bullied, have been and have observed others being bullied in the past.

Not having sex with or seeking out a relationship with someone promiscuous is entirely morally defensible. Using your platform, small and insignificant though it may be, on reddit or elsewhere, to bully people or to actively and deliberately join in a culture of purposeful harm is not morally defensible or intellectually honest.

If you don't want to be seen as and treated as a bully or an asshole, think for .25 seconds about the implications of what you're saying. Use the 'THINK' acronym: is it 'True', is it 'Helpful', is it 'Important', is it 'Necessary', is it 'Kind'?

If it doesn't matter to you that you will be treated, rightfully, as a bully and an asshole for saying things that a bully or an asshole would say, and if you're willing to persistently ignore the material consequences of bullying (promiscuous women or any other group) go to town.

bonusfruit · 2019-02-11T19:39:42+00:00

Anyone still insisting it's a social construct. Try imagining a guy having pussy thrown at him constantly through no effort on his part. the only consequences being that he's shamed for having all that sex. But the women who fuck him are congratulated. True double standard swap. Does anyone think he would give a single fuck? Will he be distressed or feel used or suffer any of those strictly female sexual hangups? No. No he would not

CyJackX · 2019-02-11T16:12:26+00:00

Can we identify that it is the sex itself that causes the distress? Or is it that women have been socialized to be distressed by having had more sex? And vice versa for men?

There must be outliers both ways for men and women, what are their explanations?

Basically, what are the uncontrolled variables in this study that could also be responsible for the conclusion?

kermitisaman · 2019-02-11T16:43:05+00:00

Woman has sex - she has to hide it because people will think she's a slut. Lying is stressful and depressing.

Man has sex - tells everyone, everyone is jealous, everyone wants what he has.

[deleted] · 2019-02-11T17:52:20+00:00

Some of the women I have had casual sex with have been emotionally damaged. One told me the next day all about how her dad had rejected her. I felt so sorry for her, but only ever met her once more. She's not the only one, either.

NakedOnCouch · 2019-02-12T04:25:32+00:00

Meh. Guys that are depressed are less likely to have energy and the means to have lots of casual sex. Depressed girls try to cheer themselves up with some easy to get casual dick. No causality needed. Just correlation.

we-are-men-with-ven · 2019-02-12T12:49:57+00:00

I don't see much point of everyone speculating without the details of the actual study. Unfortunately you need to pay for access or be part of an institution. For what ever reason I can't log in on my phone.

Seeing as everyone's giving their annacdotes, here's mine:

Casual sex was pretty shit in my teenage years, but once I knew how to 'read' men better, my encounters were pleasent and mutually respectable.

Obviously it's harder for women to enjoy casual sex for biological reasons, which would leave them feeling disappointed.

Like I said, would need to look at the study and not the abstract to actually deduce anything.

ImFreeMan · 2019-02-12T15:43:38+00:00

So there are 2 arguments people are making to explain this study:

1) Either casual sex makes women depressed. or 2) Women are depressed so they use casual sex to soothe their sad lives. but in the end they are still depressed, if not even more.

No matter what it is, the answer for men is simple, if you want a happy healthy girl for a relationship, STAY AWAY FROM SLUTS!

ThisIsJustATr1bute · 2019-02-12T18:24:38+00:00

We Live In A Society

reluctantly_red · 2019-02-11T17:53:34+00:00

You people over think this shit way too much. Lots of women like sex and don't care who knows. I like that kind of woman. I have no time for uptight sexually repressed women.

AutoModerator · 2019-02-11T15:50:23+00:00

Attention!

You can post off topic/jokes/puns as a comment to this Automoderator message.
For "CMV" and "Question for X" Threads: Parent comments that aren't from the target group will be removed, along with their child replies.
If you want to agree with OP instead of challenging their view or if the question is not targeted at you, post it as an answer to this comment.
OP you can choose your own flair according to these guidelines., just press Flair under your post!

Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

ohkaeee · 2019-02-11T18:29:46+00:00

I’ve had a casual hook up here or there (as a woman in college) i really think it all comes down to what that woman THINKS and FEELS like they will be treated after or because of the situation. I combatted this by not telling people it even happened. People know i have had sex but i don’t owe it to anyone to tell them it was casual, unless it was for a medical reason ( which there hasn’t been ) so i haven’t really felt the stress that other women may have felt due to society standards.

[deleted] · 2019-02-12T00:05:28+00:00

I wonder how many women who have lots of casual sex are doing so as an escape from depressive symptoms, and partially due to feeling inferior to the other college-aged women around them (like ones who might be able to lock down a “Chad”)

ponysniper2 · 2019-02-12T04:22:20+00:00

Just want to say that it’s nice to see an educated and well articulated post compared to a lot of post here that are straight cave man mentality “men fuck women because woman are sluts”.

killallthenarcs · 2019-02-12T07:04:27+00:00

Eh. I think what you are seeing is the result of women refusing to have sex with distressed men. If women were as willing to have sex with distressed men as men were to have sex with distressed women, every troubled young man would replace a lot of his binge wanking, binge watching and binge gaming habits with binge fucking.

Yonderlander · 2019-02-12T10:15:46+00:00

Don't forget the social factor. Society applauds men with lots of notches on their bedpost, this is going to make them feel good about it. This is not the case for women- in sleeping around we are ignoring and suppressing a social stigma dating back thousands of years. Intellectually we discount it because it is unfair unjust outdated bullshit, but that culture of slut shaming (not just sluts but any woman who has sex) is still there under the surface, and right out in the open among some people such as traditionalists, conservatives and guys with red pill attitudes.

I think this is a factor at play.

Also as others have said, sometimes people have casual sex because of mental instability.

gabriot · 2019-02-12T22:08:53+00:00

Would love to see their method for determining this, but oh yeah it's behind a paywall.

I've yet to see any "study" like this that used any statistically significant set of data to draw their conclusions on. Usually it's a study of less than 100 people, with no control group used at all, which amounts to anecdotal evidence, and is a pretty shit way to draw a conclusion about any sort of trend or existence of a property.

The first thing anyone should look into with claims like these is the actual method used to draw the conclusions. Beyond that discussing it is rather pointless, and we just go in circles endlessly talking bullshit.

kandyapplez · 2019-02-11T18:04:22+00:00

i think women who are virgins or low n-count are often too dumb and culturally self contained to even know they're distressed

mindplaybyneo · 2019-02-12T04:02:03+00:00

I can agree with this based on my observation. I have a female roommate who has a high N-count due to the fact that we are in a profession that are predominantly male. She used to be my friends fuck buddy, and the only time she’s happy is when shes getting attention from guys which shows that she has a weak internal game. She is always lazy and never clean, and her room is musky. She belongs to the game and she got a lot of orbiter.
She always tell me she is going through some shit. I sometimes feel bad for women, but a lot of them are enabler. They don’t know how to check their kind, and they’ll put out so easily with the best looking dude. Educating women and teaching them how to find meaning in every action will help them, like how the redpill does to depressed men with low self esteem.
I have also tested a lot of this theories with the ones with high N count. Sometimes I wish I never woken to that reality, but I seek for the truth and therefore I must live with it. Most people hate the people who fight for the right, like Jordan Peterson or Elliot Husle. Both have daughters, and I’m sure they want the better for them. That is just my two cents.

Rhyat250 · 2019-02-12T06:10:04+00:00

If i remeber arent man and women different in Sex hormones? Women release alot of Oxytoxin and man relased alot of Seratonin. Oxytoxin is tha Bonding feeling tha it gives to women. Seratonin is tha Happy feeling it gives to men?

Title	No strings attached: the nature of casual sex in college students.
Author	Mr_Smoogs
Upvotes	90
Comments	228
Date	February 11, 2019 3:50 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/aphjlb/no_strings_attached_the_nature_of_casual_sex_in/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/no-strings-attached-the-nature-of-casual-sex-in.257284 https://theredarchive.com/post/257284