If you could remove all desire to be with women, or men sexually or emotionally would you do it?

Jebediah_Goodplow · 2019-01-24T03:30:28+00:00

If I could choose to be gay, I probably would. I think life would be so much easier for me as a gay man in this day and age.

Texastentialism · 2019-01-24T02:35:43+00:00

No. Sex, love and family is a massive part of the human experience. I can't imagine wanting to deny myself of that.

GradualDecomp · 2019-01-24T05:47:30+00:00

I think I would.

I have a friend who has a medical condition that affects her hormones. She is 37 and claims to have never felt sexually aroused or attracted to anyone ever in her life. She doesn't even know if she's gay or straight. She has never dated and doesn't wish to.

This bitch has a PhD, a crazy successful baking business, speaks 3 languages, and so many skills and hobbies I couldn't possibly list them all. She can do/make/fix anything.

It makes me wonder what the average person could accomplish if all the energy focused on sex and dating were diverted elsewhere

MoodyBrizo · 2019-01-24T02:56:41+00:00

What do you value then? If you think romance is "merely a biological force" what do you think is a valuable goal worth pursuing in life?

DREADC0RSAIR · 2019-01-24T03:37:44+00:00

Yes, shut up and take my money if you can make this happen. I'd be so much more efficient without these distracting hormones.

Young_Oryx · 2019-01-24T02:48:35+00:00

No. for what purpose? Desire is only painful if you're unable to fulfill those desires. Desire + attainment is quite pleasant.

jax006 · 2019-01-24T05:42:49+00:00

Unpopular opinion: sure.

Every dog I've owned is neutered and it doesnt seem to dampen their days much.

I think it's easy to forget that ignorance is bliss in this thing we call life.

Million-Suns · 2019-01-24T02:59:07+00:00

That can be accomplished with mental training.

You can't control the hormones and stimuli, but you can keep your emotions and desires in check.

So to answer the question in OP, I'm already significantly reducing , even totally killing desires.

Acknowledging all the drawbacks attached to dating, marriages and relationships in general makes the process easier.

diffdedbed · 2019-01-24T03:27:43+00:00

Food only tastes good because biology is forcing us to eat.

Backscratches only feel good because biology is forcing bonding habits on us from other primates.

Everything is life is biologically driven, everything.

Relationships, children, and sex makes those genes happy which makes this flesh humuncious of mine happy.

Its the actual reason we have all those other feelings, because with sex and children, its game over for humans.

You can say its a weakness but so is needing to sleep, or being burned by fire, or starving.

Plus orgies are fucking awesome.

Sex and relationships are a driving force, its why we do stuff, I'd rather increase my drive for it than decrease.

beachredwhine · 2019-01-24T03:17:43+00:00

I wish I could be more romantic. I wish the opposite of what you are saying. I wish I could feel the butterflies again! I wish for years ago me to be able to fall deep into crazy love, again. God that was a wonderful feeling. Of course high feelings, also came with the low. I'm much more mature now, much more... middling. I'll never get that crazy love back, I'm just too old now, seen too much, loved too many times.

But hey there's always a silver lining. Losing that incredible high, comes with losing the incredible low. Losing the mind blowing effect of love, means being able to make much better decisions.

Still I do miss the high of what used to be.

SkookumTree · 2019-01-24T03:11:30+00:00

I wouldn't permanently become aromantic and asexual. I'd like a family someday; I'd like the mutual support of marriage and whatnot.

GoldPilot · 2019-01-24T03:32:39+00:00

Yeah, sure. I could still have friendships and hobbies, and I could live a life of pleasant solitude without any romantic regret.

Seems worth a shot.

poopidydoopscoop · 2019-01-24T03:35:49+00:00

Fuck yeah!

HowardAdderly · 2019-01-24T09:43:47+00:00

100% Girls don’t like me anyway so me liking them does nothing but hurt me

I-IV-I64-V-I · 2019-01-24T02:50:56+00:00

Absolutely not. The value of romantic love can't really be quantified; but have you ever been around a very old sweet couple where one died? Seen the impact it has on the survivor, just how devastated they are and know you're only seeing the visible bits? That the inner turmoil is so much worse? Reverse all of that, make the visible bits happiness and the inner parts joy and contentment. There's no way to assign value to those things, but the longer you're together the more happy memories you accrue the more priceless it becomes.

Sex is lol obvious. I can't even give up carbs 100%, I'm not giving up sex. "Weakness" seems a strong word. Accurate for the John Wicks of the world but not your average person. Risk is apt, but we deal with risk management all the time as humans.

sadomasochrist · 2019-01-24T02:58:51+00:00

Romance and sex drive are two seperate things. Biology is trying to force you to procreate with hot men\women, romance is more complex and only related when it is convenient for both parties.

[deleted] · 2019-01-24T03:37:42+00:00

It would be nice and/or interesting to be able to turn it on or off at will I suppose.

MindTheFuture · 2019-01-24T07:16:06+00:00

i’d rather tone down the whole social-animal aspect. We tend to need company to stay healthy and happy, how about not? I notice my general yearning for socialization (and knowing that good company is damn good for our mood) can be more of a hinderance. How about default mode of life as happy hermits expect once in a year flocking to a beach to catch up?

atypicalgamergirl · 2019-01-24T10:08:14+00:00

If I had the option to strip those needs out of my brain permanently I would do so with no hesitation.

I-IV-I64-V-I · 2019-01-24T13:07:14+00:00

Aro Ace here, If I could do the reverse I probably wouldn't. Seems so much less complicated and bleh. Don't have to take care of anybody but myself

Salty-Bastard · 2019-01-24T03:09:02+00:00

I'd sooner swallow a bullet.

buartha · 2019-01-24T03:10:35+00:00

I enjoy my marriage. It adds fulfilment to my life that I've never experienced with other, non romantic achievements or activities. If I wasn't romantically and sexually attracted to anyone I would have missed out on all those wonderful feelings and my life would have been less complete as a result.

I probably would have gone on to do a postdoc and gone down the academic route otherwise, so it's not like my life would have had no direction or that people who are asexual/ aromantic can't make good lives for themselves, but it's a very different kind of satisfaction and I don't think that sacrificing love and affection for material goods or recognition is worth it in the long run.

equanimous_samsara · 2019-01-24T03:22:23+00:00

The answer presupposes that removing the desire to be with someone would lead to a worse/more flat quality of life than being with someone. So obviously everyone's saying no.

Here4thebeer3232 · 2019-01-24T03:35:38+00:00

Nah. I have plenty of good quality friends that are women. There is no romantic or sexual interest between us, I just simply like their company, think they are awesome, and have been dependable friends in the past.

Your desire to be with someone is not a weakness so long as you dont sacrifice other elements of your life in pursuit of that. Don't be with someone that makes you miserable just because you dont want to be alone. And dont bend over backwards for someone who wont do the same to you

[deleted] · 2019-01-24T04:05:25+00:00

No way. I love men and I love being with men.

Zippo-Cat · 2019-01-24T06:32:55+00:00

I feel like I'm already 90% there but sure

maljo24 · 2019-01-24T11:19:27+00:00

AutismoCircus · 2019-01-24T13:05:04+00:00

In a heartbeat

throwaway-637 · 2019-01-24T22:41:04+00:00

Absolutely. Wanting a relationship when guys don't want me is only suffering. When will a scientist invent a pill that makes you aromantic and asexual PLEASE 😭😭😭

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GayLubeOil · 2019-01-24T03:08:02+00:00

Bloops want to castrated themselves or are at least thinking about it. This proves the top pinned post on the Red Pill.

LUClEN · 2019-01-24T03:42:26+00:00

Nah, I don't think that would help my gains.

oasis158 · 2019-01-24T04:07:21+00:00

Sometimes I think I would really enjoy a life of research and exploration on my own if I didn't have the want for a partner. I believe there's plenty of awesome opportunities that I might miss out on due to a relationship. But I also believe there are many other amazing opportunities to be happy and fulfilled with a partner. Having someone emotionally/romantically in your life causes for a lot of self reflection and growth. Being alone is great, and sometimes I think my attraction to others (romantic and sexual) distracts me from my studies or my future career. But I think overall, establishing meaningful connections is more important will make me a more well-rounded individual.

hshsvdhsiabs · 2019-01-24T04:12:03+00:00

Never. I’m glad that I’ve gotten to experience romantic love the way I do. I am really in love. And it’s true, I can be deeply hurt by this. But, my boyfriend honestly seems to be the only one who really cares about my wellbeing. My friends will put me in dangerous situations because they’re only concerned with fun. But my boyfriend makes sure I’m safe and comfortable. I can’t imagine choosing not to experience something that can be so wonderful.

TheBookOfSeil · 2019-01-24T04:33:57+00:00

No because it wouldn’t matter anyway. Whether I do or I don’t, my life will end all the same.

supernerdycyclist · 2019-01-24T05:05:05+00:00

Yes, but only sexually. Losing the ability to empathize and not understanding how others feel in that regard would be too much.

passepar2t · 2019-01-24T06:31:15+00:00

Uh, that kind of already happened.

realvmouse · 2019-01-24T06:40:46+00:00

Isn't this just buddhism with regards to sex? Why stop there? Why not have a buddhist approach towards all of your desires?

In Buddhism, desire and ignorance lie at the root of suffering. By desire, Buddhists refer to craving pleasure, material goods, and immortality, all of which are wants that can never be satisfied.

Yeah I think you just re-invented Buddhism for yourself.

https://www.pbs.org/edens/thailand/buddhism.htm

gowithflow192 · 2019-01-24T07:09:52+00:00

I know what you mean. I think about how much of my life I have spent pursuing women. I know there are some well-being benefits but it seems like I could have better spent that time studying or learning, for example.

I have thought the same as you - it would be very useful to have a switch for desire that one could turn on and off at will.

For a guy at least, you get a desire that grows until basically, erm, fluids leave the body. It's just biology. I concede it could be much different for women but for guys that is all it boils down to. Your body doesn't even know if you have created a family or shot a wad into a tissue - and all the while it has influenced your behavior in pursuit of this pretty shallow goal.

[deleted] · 2019-01-24T07:20:49+00:00

Yes, definitely. If only you could reprogram your brain so that sex hormones don't activate the need for reproduction, I'd be down for that.

I don't think it will be possible even in the future. Hormones are closely tied to eachother.

Sad_Virgin_Beta_Male · 2019-01-24T08:07:15+00:00

Definetly. I would love to be asexual 😢

[deleted] · 2019-01-24T08:52:37+00:00

I probably would. The clarity after you've busted a load and no longer give a shit about women is special but short-lasting.

bonusfruit · 2019-01-24T09:34:59+00:00

I would like the ability to turn it on and off at will. Also I think it would be good for ugly guys to be able to turn it off completely.

quercusp · 2019-01-24T09:44:57+00:00

Does Romance have any real value or is it merely biology ...

It has a real value BECAUSE it's biology ! We have these feelings in order to reproduce and congregate to stable relationships which are indispensable for nurturing our offspring.

nemma88 · 2019-01-24T10:39:14+00:00

it merely biology forcing us to seek out someone to keep life going.

Yes. For many people.

Does Romance have any real value

Yes. For many people.

One does not exclude the other. Every thing you do is a result of a evolutionary drive one way or another. Doesn't make it 'not real'. Eating is a requirement - but I'd take a steak over porridge anyway. You know why people get fat? Because high calorie food tastes good. It tastes good because evolution says we need more fat reserves to survive. Knowing I don't actually need any more fat to survive and knowing something is high calorie doesn't make it taste any worse, and doesn't make porridge taste any better.

Maybe it is a weakness to some people. Some peers maybe - or whatever higher power people are imagining they have to explain their weakness to. Often the high feelings are tarred with the low feelings when it doesn't go how we want. You can choose to live without either but personally I'd take those lows so I can have those highs.

abaxeron · 2019-01-24T12:08:17+00:00

Yes; what kind of question is that. More freedom >>>> less freedom; period.

Gravel_Roads · 2019-01-24T12:09:32+00:00

I'm practically a hermit, so if the choice was just "be alone forever, or be in a relationship with a randomly generated human you have nothing in common with", I'd go with being alone forever. I don't really like most people's company very much.

That said, I actually like my partner. We're a good match for each other. So I'm gonna stick to keeping him.

KikiYuyu · 2019-01-24T12:28:35+00:00

No way. Desire's only a weakness if it controls you.

ICantQuitReddit2 · 2019-01-24T13:05:47+00:00

Yes, but only if I'd forget what it's like to desire it. Can't know what I'm missing. Sex I don't place inheret value on at all despite having a relatively high drive. Romance I place more value on, but it's risky and feels arbitrary.

And also only because I don't think I'll be able to find love at all anyways unless I get really lucky. All romantic and sexual desire are doing is making me desire something I can't satiate anyways. I've been unable to satiate it for what, 12 years now?..And I've never even had it once?

quasirealikecreature · 2019-01-24T13:08:01+00:00

My husband is my best friend. I don't think that would change. I do like basically having the coolest roommate ever, but I also like being in love with him and fucking him so no I wouldn't give it up and yes I think it has meaning.

Willow-girl · 2019-01-24T13:16:24+00:00

Not just no, but HELL NO!

ultrasuperthrowaway · 2019-01-24T14:03:03+00:00

Already done for me. I’ve had my fun now I’m over it

fatalcharm · 2019-01-24T14:20:35+00:00

I'm kinda in that place now, but I know my feelings could change. I don't hate men, I love men but I am so happy and content with the way my life is right now. I have no desire for romance, a relationship or sex. I have plenty of love in my life from friends and family, that's enough for me.

xeroedouttwice · 2019-01-24T14:31:48+00:00

Negative. The desire for romance brings me feelings of deep anguish and sadness, and that pain tells me there is unfinished business I need to work out on the inside. Life is pain, I might as well double down and try to open the door for new varieties of pain.

gunbusterxl · 2019-01-24T15:04:04+00:00

Absolutely.

I have shit I need to do in my life, and women are really just a distraction. Fortunately, I don't have this insane drive to sleep with them that most men on here keep going on about. They're nice to look at, though. Kids would be nice someday, but not much of a deal breaker.

hardlifeman · 2019-01-24T16:25:21+00:00

In a heartbeat. I would trade most anything else in life I care about to be rid of any need or desire for sex or physical affection. The overall non-fulfillment in that area, over the course of my life, has caused me more misery than most anything else, combined. I do not view such needs/desires, or at least the effect they have on me, to be psychologically healthy or mature, for an adult man.

madcockatiel · 2019-01-24T16:49:31+00:00

If I was naturally asexual or whatever I’d be fine with it, but as is I already know how great sex and companionship with a loving partner can be and would hate to give that up!

I feel the same about, say, taking a pill that would cover all your nutritional needs. Sure, it would be convenient, but have you ever tasted really good spaghetti?

whitetrashcarl · 2019-01-24T16:55:01+00:00

Hell no if anything I’d crank it back up to teenage levels

blackedoutfast · 2019-01-24T17:42:42+00:00

no, wtf is wrong with you people

Marshmallowboats · 2019-01-24T21:50:59+00:00

I don't think so, because I'd still live in a society that touts romance as the best thing you can ever have and finding a partner as the path to fulfilment, so I would still want to experience that but be frustrated because I couldn't

Moobx · 2019-01-24T22:41:40+00:00

I don't feel a need to form close friendships, so without my bf I think I'd be lonely.

chubby_leenock_hugs · 2019-01-24T23:02:16+00:00

I think I'm pretty close to that point already.

I personally've no real complains about my lack of addiction to human social contact that most people seem to experience.

mojobytes · 2019-01-26T02:05:09+00:00

Yes, without any hesitation. Only positives.

SyrusDrake · 2019-01-26T14:18:49+00:00

FUCK YES!! This is basically my Holy Grail! I've been looking for ways to just turn off my sexual and romantic desires for years and despite having no success yet, I haven't given up hope.

panconquesofrito · 2019-02-07T14:36:43+00:00

If it comes in the form of a pill that I could take once a day, and turn it off yes. I can always turn it back on, by stopping the pill.

EsauTheRed · 2019-01-24T02:47:32+00:00

I would decrease a lot my desires for sex. But that is it.

Romance does have its uses. As it makes association between people which can (mostly) be trusted as a final goal (marriage).

But yes. Romance and sexual drives are a weakness for the rational mind. But also what gives you meaning in it. So... who knows?

I am just tired of constant sexual drive in my ear when I stay too much time without sex.

czerdec · 2019-01-24T18:43:56+00:00

Can the human brain even function in such a state?

Title	If you could remove all desire to be with women, or men sexually or emotionally would you do it?
Author	Zero_The-Hero
Upvotes	49
Comments	171
Date	January 24, 2019 2:28 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/aj7ov2/if_you_could_remove_all_desire_to_be_with_women/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/if-you-could-remove-all-desire-to-be-with-women-or.257655 https://theredarchive.com/post/257655