Men aren’t really as desperate for sex as TRP claims

On_The_Tweek_Again · 2018-11-14T14:37:29+00:00

While yes, it's exaggerated just how much men want sex and with how many people (people seem to think men want sex at any point in time with anyone which is absolutely ridiculous and has caused people to excuse on male rape), Most are that simple when it comes to sex... IF THERE WERE ABSOLUTELY NO CONSEQUENCES AT ALL. If there was no need to put in effort, no emotional implications afterwards, no risks involved, no time sink, etc.

See it like this. Usually, I don't feel like going to the store to eat cake at all. But if someone puts a cake on my table, chances are I'll eat a bite anyways.

Because of that, I've fantasized about many women. Does that mean I actually feel a desire to go out and try to pursue all of them? Fuck no. Does it mean Everytime I see them I can only thing of wanting to bang them? Fuck no. Does it mean all my behavior towards them is motivated by sex? Fuck no, they're just human beings I happen to also find attractive. I don't care enough to actually go through with that shit. All it means is that my base instincts find her attractive. The desires of my rational mind are separate.

I don't think most men are as desperate for sex as people think, and I don't think they want to fuck literally everything, but I do think they'd fuck most things given a really easy, non consequential chance. They're not desperate. They're just simple.

wekacuck · 2018-11-14T14:16:59+00:00

I think you're generally correct. TRP filters for men who are desperate for sex so the more accurate summary would be "TRP men are really as desperate for sex as they claim they are". This is the appropriate context for understanding TRP: when they say things like that, it's true for them.

But it's obviously not generalizable to all men because TRP is a just a hangnail of humanity.

Mr_White119811 · 2018-11-14T14:18:13+00:00

I would not fuck anything with a pulse, maybe I would fuck anything with a pulse that I find attractive.

But I do not find it insulting, it is probably an accurate description of my base desires.

As for men being simple creatures, I get hungry - I eat. I get tired - I sleep. I want female company - I interact with females. My life is quite simple. I don't actually see whats all that complicated about my life. I goto work to finance the fulfilment of these desires.

wereqryan · 2018-11-14T14:54:25+00:00

Of course like any other man, I want sex, but I want an emotional connection too. A sense of security and being able to share deep feelings with another person.

plentyoffishes · 2018-11-14T15:53:52+00:00

Well, if you see what goes on on Tinder or any online dating sites, it kind of supports the TRP theory that men are horny dogs and will go for anyone that has a pulse and a vagina. But this of course is a generalization, plenty of men have tastes and preferences and won't swipe right on anyone that comes along. So NAMALT.

What irritates me about TRP is that the assumption of "getting sex" is the prize we should be after. Pump and dump, spinning plates, AWALT, it's all about just the act of having sex. At a certain point, that's pretty boring- and getting to deeper levels with a woman is much more appealing- but hey AWALT, so get your thrills and move on right?

Barely-moral · 2018-11-14T14:29:55+00:00

“men are simple creatures”

I don't know about men in general but I am a simple creature. I want a place I can feel safe in, clothes to wear, food to eat, a bed to sleep in, a woman to be with and I work so I can have and keep those things.

I can't even begin to think about anything else that does not fit in those previous points.

men will fuck anything with a pulse

I would be willing to fuck anyone with a pulse that I find attractive (Not that high of a standard, really) but, since I want to make my current partner happy and keep my current relationship alive and well, I know better.

NeedingAdvice86 · 2018-11-14T14:46:45+00:00

Well, yeah there ate many dudes on TRP who have a sex obsession problem which isn't representative to the wider community.

And tons of those have very fragile and oft-putting egos which leads them to try to prove their worth by fucking as many women as they can find...it really isn't the sex act but they put their self-worth into having women choose THEM.

So in order to alleviate their feelings about their obsession they declare that every man really has their exact obsession but just aren't badass TRP enough to do it like they pretend to be.

I mean how disconnected do you have to be to rage against betas who pedestalize women then turn around to crow that you are taking steroids so that you can look huge and get chicks? Look I workout and it does make a difference in attraction but how desperate do you have to be to put dangerous chemicals into your body for the chance at getting a girl? That seems to be a more weak position than any bluepill, weak or beta dude I ever ran across.

boredthenyoureboring · 2018-11-14T15:34:58+00:00

It’s less “all men will bang any woman that isn’t fat” and more “any women that isn’t fat will be able to easily find an inordinate number of men willing to bang her on sight”

Tell_them_to_shrug · 2018-11-14T14:16:23+00:00

Unfortunately, men really are that simple. It’s a rare man (clears throat) that will actually impose standards on the women around him.

I’d gladly live in a world where the market value of women is precisely 0, but men, especially red pill men, can’t get enough of that sweet, sweet female validation and support, physically and emotionally.

You’re right, though. It’s extremely insulting to have other men suggest that I ought to want to fuck every woman that so much as smiles at me.

learnie · 2018-11-14T15:10:23+00:00

Desperation for sex happens when you haven't had sex or haven't got laid in a long time. It is not so easy to define desperate behaviour. Men in general have a desire to have sex just like females.

However, the real question is to upto what lengths men are willing to go just to have sex?

Different men have their limits. Some might even buy a sex toys to satisfy themselves. Some might even relocate just to have a chance to meet a woman. Some might will be willing to spend their money to have sex.

Different men will go upto different lengths to have sex. There are a lot of men who don't have to do much other than meet women and express their interest because they are decent looking and have pleasant personality.

YetAnotherCommenter · 2018-11-15T11:54:45+00:00

You're not entirely wrong. TRP attracts men who have a very high level of thirst.

At the same time, its hard to deny that the average man has lower standards than the average woman. In addition these traits are culturally exacerbated, with men under pressure to crush puss and women under pressure to be picky. Even if TRP and the Incels overstate things, the reality is that whilst most men may not be literally dying of thirst it is far easier to get laid if one is a woman than if one is a man, women are pickier and men are much less so, and whilst most men do have standards that are above "non-fat woman whom is legally able to render informed consent" that doesn't mean most men have standards that are particularly high or intimidating for a short term hookup.

eliechallita · 2018-11-14T17:15:59+00:00

Honestly the fact that they think that all men would fuck a lubricated woodchipper if they don't find anything better tells me more about terpers than it does about men in general.

Almost all of the men I know, myself included, have standards and preferences. Some have lower standards than others, and thirsty horndogs definitely exist, but by and large we all want someone that we're attracted to.

Anthony1881 · 2018-11-14T16:34:37+00:00

Shit I have standards...shaking their tail feathers isn't majical....it's biological so, I use my mind to evaluate the situation...a few hours of pleasure is not worth the possible damages caused by choosing poorly...

BirdManBrrrr · 2018-11-14T16:37:14+00:00

Men aren't desperate for sex when they can get it.

Men who don't get sex are desparate for sex; inclusive of incels through deadbedroomed husbands.

Lack of sexual options indicates something is very wrong with a dude.

passepar2t · 2018-11-14T17:38:39+00:00

Men will fuck anything with a pulse... if it was low-effort and consequence-free.

Let's say the woman appears magically in your bedroom at night, has enthusiastic sex with you, then disappears with no memory of what transpired? Men would fuck over 75% of women under these conditions.

N0blesse0blige · 2018-11-14T18:28:09+00:00

promote a better narrative

Sounds like the beginnings of a sophisticated moralistic fallacy, but a moralistic fallacy nonetheless.

Fact is the average man is biologically disposed to want a high-frequency of sex, with the same partner and with different partners. Those of our male ancestors who enjoyed frequent casual sex transferred more of their genes to the next generation. For our female ancestors it was different. Since pregnancy is more costly in terms of time and energy to women, those who prioritized genetic quality in mates and had the ability to extract commitment from men, transferred more genes to the next generation.

Both sexes thus have their "cheating" strategies too. Men having sex without offering commitment ("a fuck boy", putting women in the "fuck zone"), and women extracting commitment without offering sex ("friend zone"). Incidentially women and men respectively generally despise being put in these positions.

Now of course a man who has his needs met sexually or for various reasons may have a lower sex drive – or just practices sexual self-control, which men learn beginning in puberty – is less likely to come off as desperate for sex.

Pope_Lucious · 2018-11-14T18:33:21+00:00

“Men will fuck anything” is an exaggeration of real world trends.

Women tend to be much more selective and have lower sex drives than men generally.

FalseBuddha · 2018-11-14T22:43:11+00:00

I think the men on TRP (and the ones here that make the same claim) are absolutely as desperate as they claim. I don't think, however, that the average man is.

The men who seek out forums like TRP are unsuccessful men frustrated at their lack of success. That lack of success is at the forefront of their consciousness, they change their entire self to try to get laid, so of course they're more obsessed with it; they define themselves by sex.

Jikira · 2018-11-15T04:22:42+00:00

They only say that, because they are that desperate for sex.

[deleted] · 2018-11-14T16:10:04+00:00

I believe this. I've witnessed many an average to ever so slightly above average man be pickier than most females regarding dating/sex. I know I'm an attractive female (though I do have a personality I can understand might not be appealing to a lot of men), but have in the past experienced rejection by guys well within my league or even below, due to their pickiness. I don't hold it against them, in fact I applaud them for knowing what they want. Most men are really quite picky, and so are most women.

MisterJose · 2018-11-14T17:19:14+00:00

First of all, sex and desire are mental. You ARE desperate because you FEEL desperate, nothing more to it.

What does happen with lots of guys, myself included, is that things build and build when you're not getting any sex or human contact, and then when you do, things come back down to earth a bit. That lasts, personally, for about a month, and then things start building again. It's very easy to forget your post-getting some mindset slowly over time. And for guys who have never had sex and only have fantasy and imagination to guide them, it's going to be even worse.

When it comes to unattractive people, you're kinda right. The sad truth is that unattractive people are somewhat invisible. Men never imagine unattractive women in their fantasies, and might simply skip over them visually when scanning a room or the like. So when men (and women) talk about just wanting to fuck or be fucked by anyone, I think what happens is they're imagining the 'anyone' coming from their mental roster of 'acceptably fuckable humans', and not giving any thought to anyone else.

abaxeron · 2018-11-14T15:48:58+00:00

Anywho- let me know what you think!

Distribution, variance, median, mean, and other types of quantitative moments of random samples.

Most guys have standards. But there are enough "standardless" guys to satisfy "below-standard" women.

Regal_Newt · 2018-11-15T00:46:44+00:00

Seriously. It's ridiculous how much they tout both how easy it is for women to get sex and how hard it is for men to find it.

mgtownigga · 2018-11-15T02:38:46+00:00

when I see some of the most uncouth and fat girls get endless matches and dates from tinder, I have no reason to question that. There are men with standards, yes, but too many disgusting women are being validated by attractive men who are clearly their betters.

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WiseMonkeyGoodMonkey · 2018-11-14T17:32:29+00:00

It's (all imo of course) a simplification for mass consumption. It's not saying all men are gagging for it all the time. It's saying that a subset of average man is guaranteed to be gagging for it at any give moment. And this holds up anecdotally over the course of my life and experiences. There's always someone in any group currently right now willing to do whatever it takes to get his dick buttered. Not necessarily the same guy it will be tomorrow. But there will be one tomorrow too.

A lot of the nomenclature is deliberately dumbed down for the newbies for ease of initial consumption.

PMmeareasontolive · 2018-11-14T19:03:58+00:00

I can only speak for myself here, I can't say what other guys do.

For me it's more of an existential thing than a drive thing. But I think the desperation feels pretty similar.

I'll be celibate for a long time and it's no problem. But when it gets to be close to a year it starts to feel like it's time for drastic measures. That's when more effort is put into the project and bad decisions get made.

praisethesun799 · 2018-11-14T21:49:32+00:00

I think it's just that most men, myself included , and given no consequences, would fuck any willing woman that passes the basic looks threshold. I myself wasn't picky at all during my campus days but they weren't the same type of women that I would date. I mean , if the opportunity for easy , fun casual sex is there, why not go for it? On TRP tho, its mostly about men who DONT normally get casual sex, so yeh there's a lot of desperation there , but it doesn't represent the average guy

SDW137 · 2018-11-14T22:23:26+00:00

I think it depends on the guy. I have been told that I have "high standards" by my roommates, one of which has low standards and the other one I'm not sure if he has any standards at all.

HossMcDank · 2018-11-14T23:16:46+00:00

Yeah, we pretty much are.

darksoldierk · 2018-11-15T05:05:40+00:00

You know, this is what I never understood. I always thought guys were just joking about that. Like, when we joke around about how great sex is, and how we're so horny, bla bla bla. I never took that shit seriously because I never felt that. I mean, I've had dry spells, but even during those times, it's not like I was going crazy without sex.

I remember being in a dry spell and this one girl started hitting on me. She wasn't fat or anything, I just didn't find her attractive. I thought about fucking her, but I just, well, I just didn't want to. I was disgusted by the idea, despite not having had sex for a few months. Is the average man really that desperate for sex?

captaindestucto · 2018-11-15T06:08:45+00:00

The obsession with sex is exaggerated but fact remains that average woman can find willing sexual partners much more easily than the average man.

Attractiveness for the majority of men cannot be considered a given so it has to be earned. Red pill is basically a boostrap philosophy for guys who (generally) hate women but still want relationships with them.

celincelin · 2018-11-15T07:34:22+00:00

Check out TRP right now, it’s got a post about growth upvoted and pinned. Deep down, most of TRP understands what’s going on.

azngirl7689 · 2018-11-16T15:51:06+00:00

We have a profound and strong desire for sex, it is so strong we almost cannot concentrate in anything else... but it is true that TRP sometimes had exaggerated, it is not like all we want is only sex, we focus other things too... it is just the strongest desire we have.

It is like being thirsty all the time, and with no good water to drink... some accept low quality water substitutes but nothing is quite as good as pure water. So we refuse some things that do not satisfy as much (like some women so sexually unattractive even we would not bang) that is pretty much it.

Please do not say we do not want sex that much, it undermines our desires. Some literally would risk their lives for it. It is no light matter.

Eastuss · 2018-11-14T14:26:57+00:00

Most guys will have some idea of what kind of lady they will not under any circumstances ~~bang~~ COMMIT TO.

And most men will commit to any girl who is nice, not fat, and fuck. Except for Chad, which is what makes you think men have standards, men who do that have options, not standards. Standards is a women's thing.

Whatever you think is the average amount of sex a woman have the average man wants 5 times this and wouldn't say no to diversity.

Tedesche · 2018-11-14T17:20:13+00:00

TRP is nearly as sexist towards men as feminism is.

exit_sandman · 2018-11-14T15:20:34+00:00

It really is that simple, for a simple reason: in a lot of regards, not having standards is easier. Without trying to take the high road all the time and demanding too much (neither of yourself nor regarding the standards the girl you try to bang have to meet), the more experienced you become, the more relaxed and at ease you are around women, and the more opportunities to date you'll get. Mind you: if you envision a chill, easy-going and personable guy who is charming but inoffensive, this isn't necessarily who I am talking about. I am just talking about guys who have no specific limiting standards imposed on themselves, neither regarding what they do and who they'll approach.

In other words, the guy could be friendly, cocky and outgoing, but also aggressive and prone to negging - however, in neither case will that guy let himself be hindered by the notion that he shouldn't hit on women, or by the neurotic fear that he'll get rejected or make an idiot of himself.

In addition to this, these guys will also lack really hard standards. This doesn't mean that he'll literally jump every woman in his vicinity, but that his demands will be very, well, "supply-oriented" and also strongly depend on what he's looking for. For example, he might hit on a girl he would never date in a million years because she's fat and has a pug nose, and also would usually ignore if prettier girls are around, but because this night there aren't, and because she's easy, has huge tits and says that she swallows and takes it in the ass, he takes her home that night. Or, for less successful guys - he doesn't really want to date a specific girl but does it anyway because it beats not having sex (and he would dump her in a second if something better came along). An interesting example is a guy who was a friend of mine during HS (or my country's equivalent of it), who was reasonable handsome and charming and practically never wanted for a girlfriend - but this was also because he had these fluid standards. For example, one night when we were out, he mentioned how a female classmate of ours wanted to introduce him to a friend of hers who had a crush on him, and he simply passed by her without even really acknowledging her presence. A few nights later, he was making out with the same chick (and apparently made her a girlfriend that night), mentioned how his first impression had been wrong and how awesome she was; and yet a few days or weeks later he was single again. And this was indeed his M.O.: he could flip from "wouldn't touch with a 10 feet pole" to "okay, you'll do" and back.

In contrast to them are the "standard-having guys" (this sounds more positive than it actually is) who are highly selective because they aren't looking for hookups or XXSTRs, who don't take risks of any sort and are probably bad (due to lack of practice) with women.

And because of these factors, the men women are in contact with are the ones who are most likely to be those who make up for the easily available "guy supply" (easily available because they're constantly on the prowl, don't require women to take on a more proactive role, and don't discriminate all that much), while the standard-having guys don't really register to them. But because there are enough of the former, they're the gold standard women have to deal with; and if their behavior enables slutty fat girls with pug noses and big tits to get a piece of Chad (whether it's on the down low or not), this is what these girls will grow accustomed to.

So yeah, maybe not all men are willing to jump all girls, but it doesn't matter.

Pesky_Gibbon · 2018-11-14T19:58:13+00:00

I agree.

Not all men are so simple.

I like such men.

VoidInvincible · 2018-11-15T00:36:15+00:00

Well /u/azngirl7689, I applaud you for walking away from feminism and their utter hatred of men. Feminists are the type of people that would release a video of some average woman walking down New York and trying to paint a narrative that men ARE desperate.

Thank you for calling out their bullshit!

poppy_blu · 2018-11-15T01:46:50+00:00

Sex is only a big deal when you arent getting any.

Lewd_Crude · 2018-11-14T18:21:18+00:00

Honestly... most guys, if given the opportunity to have sex with no strings attached, no work or effort put in etc, will do it as long as the girl isn't hideous. Most dudes would straight up have sex with almost every girl of normal body fat percentage and a lot of bigger girls too as long as they aren't too big and they have a cute face. That doesn't mean they would get in a relationship with one or want anyone else to know about it. That doesn't make men simple. This just reflects the differences between typical male and female sexuality.

hotcaulk · 2018-11-14T20:14:44+00:00

Regardless of gender, I find the perspective of Mr. T Experience to be accurate:

Odds are pretty good when the goods are pretty odd.

Transmigratory · 2018-11-14T20:23:49+00:00

How much of TRP did you actually read?

blackedoutfast · 2018-11-14T21:24:49+00:00

this argument is usually brought up in the context of someone discussing women basically being able to get sex on demand. many/most men don't have absolutely zero standards, but there are plenty who do.

ANY woman who gets horny and wants to have sex and doesn't care who it is with can easily and quickly find a guy who is DTF. the first guy you ask might have standards and turn you down, but you won't have to ask many before one says yes.

even an ugly/fat/older woman can go to any random bar and start asking guys if they want to have sex with no consequences, no strings attached, and i guarantee you that someone will accept your offer.

RedLetterWord · 2018-11-14T23:47:38+00:00

Op, do you know what a glory hole is?

For those of you who don't, it's a hole in a bathroom, where a guy sticks his dick in there and something plays with it. The guy sticking his dick in there doesn't care if it's a mouth, a hand, a stroker, an asshole, or a vagina. I don't really know what the accepted right item or part to have on the other end is supposed to be, and I'm doubtful my curiosity will ever get the better of me on that, but I imagine the point isn't what's playing with the dick, just that it's getting played with.

My understanding is that women do not use glory holes. If they do, I'd put money on it being a statistically insignificant proportion. That being said, I would never use one.

Armed with this new line of reasoning, do you continue to not believe the default premise that men will fuck anything with a pulse? Maybe call it something crazy, like a "heuristic"?

NoPassengers · 2018-11-14T14:47:28+00:00

I don’t think TRP claim is that men only care about sex but rather that’s all they really want from women.

[deleted] · 2018-11-14T22:29:47+00:00

Well ideally I need to cum about twice/three times a week to be at my optimal. Once a week at a push. I quit beating off so it's a good job I have a gf. If there was no such thing as masturbation, guys would be a lot different.

Title	Men aren’t really as desperate for sex as TRP claims
Author	azngirl7689
Upvotes	51
Comments	119
Date	November 14, 2018 2:08 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/9x0efc/men_arent_really_as_desperate_for_sex_as_trp/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/men-arent-really-as-desperate-for-sex-as-trp.259050 https://theredarchive.com/post/259050