So long story short, I am in the process of divorce. My wife cheated on me less than three fucking months after our marriage. It was later disclosed that she had sex with a guy in a public park, without a condom, before we were married but while we were living together. I am a total beta in recovery, and slowly reading up and working on myself. Here is a pattern that my slut wife exhibited and I'm sure applies to many more sluts in the wild that you should be aware of.
1. She approached you. Because you are such a pussy, momma's boy faggot, its most likely that she picked you and not the other way around. She gave you strong signals of interest and pretty much took the lead.
2. She is more social than you. Because sluts and whores crave attention above all, they tend to be heavily involved in social events, parties, get togethers and just overall more outgoing than you.
3. She is not feminine. Well you are not masculine yourself, buddy, so you get your equal SMV match. A lot of sluts are tomboys, active and vocal. They can dress slutty, but often don't have the classic feminine characteristics like long hair, feminine hobbies and interests or knows how to cook.
4. She has mostly guy friends. Not many girlfriends, cuz ya know, "Girls are so weird and mean". But plenty of male orbiters that are just long time friends. If she has more male friends than you, that's a problem. 9 out of 10 times some of those guy friends already fucked her/made out with her and will jump on any physical opportunity when she is alone, single or not.
5. She has daddy/mommy issues and/or divorced parents. Well, in our day and age, being a child of divorced parents is becoming the rule and not the exception. But still, most sluts come from ugly divorces and she has some major relationship problems with her parents. Especially with the Father.
6. She was molested in her youth. This is no joking matter, and nothing to goad about. But still, experience and various statistics show that a negative and inappropriate sexual history in her teens is a solid precursor for a problematic sexuality in the present. After learning about this point, I totally went "white knight" and tried to hamster her behavior and make it fine. Fellow men, remember this: You can feel sorry for a woman and sympathize with her but you DON'T have to be with her. It doesn't make you a bad person. Everybody have issues and a fucked up history, the real test is how we scratch our way out of the hole and become adults. Most hardcore criminals in prison have a messed up upbringing. Do they get a pussy pass? No.
7. She is bad with money/supported by her family/shit job. It is very likely that she is financially irresponsible, has some debt over stupid shit (clothing and various vocations vs school debt). It is also likely that her parents help her out financially for years, and there is this dark shit cloud of money=emotional control bond between her and her parents. More often than not, they have a dead end, shitty job with very low prospects into turning it into a full blown career.
8. People hit on her in front of you. Plenty of harmless and innocent "misunderstandings". I cringe when I type this, but it was not uncommon for guys to hit on her while we were hanging out together or sharing a space. Bars, work, and definitely when she was by herself. She will laugh it off and say she is just so social, and guys always pick up on the wrong signals. She will not mention being in a relationship and she will radiate sexuality and approachability via her body language, eye contact, intense and intimate conversation, smiling or clothing to other men. "Didn't you tell him you were not single?" "Oh, it just never came up". Yeah right.
9. She likes to drink. Sluts at their core know that their behavior is wrong and they fear being judged by their peers. They will cultivate a holy than you approach in her social circle. Drinking will make all those responsible pesky feelings and thoughts go away and she will embrace alcohol with a vengeance. If she can drink as much/more than you; Bad News Bear.
10. She smokes. Smoking is a great and wonderful outlet for women to be in a very intimate one on one situation with a man with a perfect deniability of intent. If you do not smoke, don't date somebody who does. You will always wonder what is going on in the smoking corner, or be that clueless beta that stands near their smoking spouse and other smoking persons being the only straight edge one. Most escalations with taken women that happen at parties follow a similar pattern: Drinks with a guy, Smokes with a guy that will turn to intimate conversation and then to an inappropriate behavior. IF YOU DON'T SMOKE AND SHE DOES DANGER WILL ROBINSON.
11. She likes to go without you and drink. It could be ladies night out, it could be a guy friends house party. If she goes without you and gets drunk once a week or more that is a bad sign.
12. She is jealous at you more than you are jealous of her. This is a strange one. I had complete trust in her and always complimented her, with very seldom expressions of jealousy and insecurity on my part. If a girl even smiled at me wrong or lightly flirted with me when she was around she would get extremely jealous turning it into a four hour insecurity accusation fest. It is ironic that the person most being afraid of being cheated on (My slut wife) ends up doing the repeated cheating herself.
13. She cheated previously on somebody else. Well, no shit Sherlock. But when you are "In Love" and she is sharing a beautiful pearl of truth like that with you, don't assume: "She was young and inexperienced, the guy she dated was abusive/shit/low quality. We on the other hand have True Love and this will never happen". Think instead, "How many months in is she going cheat and with how many people?"
14. You started an LTR shortly after a crazy sex on the first date situation. You started to date after a first meeting one night stand, thought it was a magical connection. "Yeah, it was sleazy all right, but she is not a slut or gives sex easily. We had this once in a lifetime connection and the fast and easy sex just meant how in love she was with me.) No it wasn't you fool. When you bang a chick you don't know, with no rubber, in an open space, with people not far away, it's no Disney Love Story, you dumbass. You just banged a Hoe. Most men bang them and call it a night, they certainly don't date them.
15. She had multiple abortions. I don't have anything against abortions but it does show poor planning, poor impulse control and just stupid immature character. Use pills, make the guys wear a condom, get on permanent birth control (IUD's). If you have 2+ abortions before you are 24 years of age, that is a major red flag.
To summarize. Don't be stupid like I was. Sluts; Fuck em, don't marry them.
User submitted additional signs:
16. She has major emotional stability issues (i.e. Bipolar, BPD, etc). When going through either manic phase (or sometimes even depression), some girls will want to fuck, and if you are not around, anybody will do. User kranos33
17. She has gay friends. Because they are non judgmental "you just sucked a guy in the toilets? You go girl!!" User Movonnow
18. She gaslights, e.g. creates a problem and then blames you for it.
19. Is insecure about her image and seeks validation by the act of sleeping around. User Year3030
Edit: Thanks for the gold, TRP stranger. Glad my shitty experience can perhaps help some of you in the future. I am fine and will be OK. Going to the gym tonight. Starting my long and hard journey of self improvement, first thing on the menu: Gotta bulk up.
18. She has major emotional stability issues (i.e. Bipolar, BPD, etc). When going through either manic phase (or sometimes even depression), some girls will want to fuck, and if you are not around, anybody will do.
Note to everyone: if a girl has Borderline Personality Disorder, don't date her. Don't emotionally invest in her. Don't befriend her. Fuck, I'd say don't even plate her.
They have a way of getting under your skin and pealing off your emotional armour - especially if they're hot (and they're always crazy good at sex) - that even the most RedPilled TRPer would have a hard time withstanding. If you're a newbie, chances are you'll get fucked emotionally.
Pump & Dump women with BPD. Nothing else.
Source: fist hand experience.
4 months into swallowing the pill and a year and a half long relationship with a girl with BPD is what brought me here.
STAY AWAY! It is not worth it. I have her blocked from absolutely every media outlet but she stills tries to contact me. They are amazing actors. They have no empathy. They live to lie. They cheat, and they do it well.
And most of all, they take their time to open up to you. I did not know about her BPD until 5 months into the relationship. I was already hooked and her had so much ammo to dish out at me. They find out what in the very core of your heart, what means the most to you, and they declare Total War against you. You will leave a conversation feeling like YOU'RE the crazy one. And in a few hours they will be crawling back, begging forgivness, telling you none of its true.
Women with BPD will not often tell you they have it. Look at the list in the OPs post, a lot of them can also be used to spot a borderline. The BIGGEST indication is a lack of female friends. Borderlines use their sexuality to make friends, women see right through their shit.
Can confirm - my ex was BPD. Avoid!
Are you me?? This is the truth through and through. Just escaped a borderline after almost 2 years. If you are with one, RUN.
I'd classify crazy chicks as 'Expert Mode' - don't mess with them unless your game is at the point where you can easily deflect shit tests and frame challenges, avoid catching feelings for her, and MOST importantly, keep the girl isolated from your social and professional life so she can't sabotage 'em later.
Maybe record your sex sessions so she can't FRA. Good news is that, in my experience, crazy chicks are the most willing to let you make dirty pics and vids with em.
Also, telling your later girls the crazy stories of their stalker obsession can lend a weird sort of preselection
No. They are not a mode. Stay away.
These are the women who sperm jack, lie about rape, stab you, assault you and claim you attacked them.
My ex has accused 3 men of rape, not in courts but amongst friends. She's a BPD. also my first BPD gf told me she was molested when I broke up with her.
BPD is strongly associated with childhood abuse, but since they lie so fucking much, it's basically impossible to know if it's true.
can confirm, was stabbed. have scars to validate.
Don't date anyone with BPD, I ignored this and married one. The problem is, I was a beta and didn't know it.
Heed this warning, Heed it hard. When you're 19 and don't know what to do about life or women, just fuck em. I thought everything was ok, albeit it wasn't, but then a baby came and that shot the BPD into high gear, high mother fucking gear. Everything in op's statement was leading me to believe he had married my ex. Until the smoking statement and the going out alone statement. This broad would throw fits if she wasn't invited out with the guys... Typing this is incredibly difficult, cause I can look back and say WTF were you doing. Honestly, I still don't know if I know what I'm doing. The happy ending is that I got full custody of my daughter and couldn't be happier. No fight from the slore, cause that would interfere with her party life.
I love my daughter. The problem is, I would do it again for my daughter a hundred times over. God damn feels.
The good part is that you don't have to do it again. You have your daughter (who I assume is the true love in your life) and all the the bad behind you. Everything really is up from here.
Yes. I agree and I hope I have learned from my mistakes. My daughter is the absolute best thing ever happened. I can't wait to watch her grow up, but at the same time, I don't want her to.
How exactly do they fuck you emotionally if you're a strong man? How do they get under your skin?
A quick write-up and certainly not in-depth from my point of view based on a relationship I had many years ago before I found TRP and I was basically blue pill incarnate. It's even embarrassing to write up, but people are here to learn from other people's mistakes:
A woman with BPD can masquerade as a perfect unicorn if she's set her eyes on you. You end up with a Jekyll and Mr. Hyde type relationship.
In the beginning, you'll only see Jekyll. She'll be a Blue Pill dream girl. Sweet, caring, nurturing. Crazy sex I can't even begin to describe. You're living the dream. You bond on a level you didn't think was possible. Until she turns into Mr. Hyde. Maybe you offended her in some way (a casual remark, not being on time, not remembering something, etc).
She grows cold, distant. You apologize and make up for it. She turns back into Jekyll and your life is sunny and honey again.
The periods where you're with Jekyll are some of the best you'll ever have and the times you're with Mr. Hyde are some of the worst.
But Mr. Hyde comes out more often and often and the ante to turn her into Jekyll again keeps going up and up.
Soon you're always with Mr. Hyde, and Jekyll only appears every now and again. You keep thinking back of the good times. You want to be with Jekyll, so you'll keep digging that hole to appease her. If only I could do 'this' and she'd turn back into Jekyll and my life would be great!
(Incidentally, dread game doesn't work on women with BPD long term. They will forget about you once they've fully turned into full-time Mr. Hyde.)
Someone reading this might think "That would never happen to me! I have the knowledge of TRP and I'll just next her!" That's true, it might not. However, as I said - this woman will mold herself to be your unicorn. If you get sucked in the spider's web - even with the knowledge of TRP and BPD - you might still not make it out before being eaten.
Fortunately I did manage to get out after I had an epiphany where I no longer cared about being with her, but it took me a few months to fully recover emotionally.
The phrase 'Go Fuck Ten Other Women' was never more apt in helping me get over her.
I dated a girl with BPD for a three months and I only saw Jekyll for 99% of the relationship. However, there were a few times where red flags popped up in my head and I thought to myself, "What the fuck?" For example, she is self-conscious about her food habits and I told her that peanut butter overall is not healthy and she yelled," Stop!" out of fucken nowhere. I literally saw her eyes change from mellow and innocent to what looked like demons emerging from her soul through her eyes. Crazy shit. Her eyes went crazy. And there were also some moments where I would catch her emotionally checking out. What I mean by that is she would just stare at me like nobody was home. It was fucken creepy and her eyes looked black and empty. She was checking out of reality which I'm thinking was a defense mechanism created when she went through rough shit when she was a child (this is speculation but many woman who deal with this can be attributed to a rough child such as a parent not giving her love). The term is called disassociating. I didn't realize some of these signs until after the relationship ran its course. There were red flags all over the place looking back but this image she displayed of being the girl of your dreams overshadowed these flags popping up. Another red flag was when she came over once and was in a bad mood. She was irritable and sad. Then I said something funny and she was dying laughing and crying she was laughing so hard. A 180 degree mood swing in less than a couple seconds.
The thing is I kept pretty strong boundaries from the start. If she did something I didn't like I told her I don't respect that and I don't want to see you do that around me. Creating strong boundaries with women like this that are essentially children in adult bodies helps to control herself because she knows if she acts out of line I am valuable enough to seek other women.
To your point - I never was emotionally affected because I am a strong guy and I mostly saw her good side. The "unicorn illusion." She literally shaped herself to the image I wanted in a woman. Maybe if the relationship ran on longer I would truly see her inner demons. Overall, if I ran into another girl like this I'd make her a plate. If I saw Mr. Hyde more than I did with this girl then yea I would just peace out and cut contact.
You played it well and held frame.
However, the normal advice for people - especially newbies - is to never get involved in the first place. It's for the same reason you cut off all contact with a Oneitis: those people aren't at that level yet emotionally where they can continue being with her on their terms without hurting themselves or being passive aggressive towards her.
They're stuck in the 'Unconscious incompetence' phase. So you give basic advice that will work. To someone in the (Un)Conscious competence phase, this advice need not apply. They're competent enough to handle themselves. However, you don't see those people asking for advice on how to deal with a Oneitis - and that's why the same advice is always given (cut off all contact, next).
Good comment. The disassociation thing is particularly scary - my ex would go full Hulk mode and a few hours later, would literally not remember a thing that had happened. During Hulk mode she was capable of anything. I used to hide all the knives in the house, but she found my razors in the bathroom :-(
and they'll rationalize it with the famous marilyn monroe quote, further proving the fact that the hamster knows no bounds.
Holy shit, you just described my marriage!! Glad it's over.
Holy shit, this is exactly my ex. She was too good to be true in the beginning. Perfect personality, I had absolutely nothing to complain about. Then I once didn't like a comment she made and forgot her bday date or something, and she turned into Mr Hyde really quickly. I didn't know who she was anymore. Totally different person. And I got insecure and beta, I thought I really messed up when it was really nothing major. And exactly what you said happened; those bad times were the worst I've had, and things wouldn't turn around and we broke up. She became a total bitch eventually.
Is this BPD for sure? How do I know if it's her her BPD causing her to hate you or you being Beta causing this?
I have BPD and I promise you there is no set rule book. We spin shit left and right. Manipulate the fuck out of someone and use them. There's no reason other than feeling alive. Sometimes we know exactly what we're doing, or sometimes we have no clue and just feeling intense pain and confusion in our head that we take it out on our SO.
One day everything is going great life seems wonderful, then a series of small bullshit things happen and you want to die because you feel worthless. It's a vicious cycle of extreme ups and downs. In our head situations don't make sense. You feel alone yet loved. You need to feel alive so you inflict pain on yourself. Oh that's enough? Let's just ruin this person trying to love us because pain causes pleasure. Yet you hate what you're doing to your SO, which causes you to hate yourself even more.
Our world is a dark twisted wonderland filled with our demons and angels constantly at war. Good luck to those willing to venture through.
Oh man, I remember the manipulation. She was a fucking pro at it. So much, I would get caught up in it. One day, I stopped and wondered why was she lying to everyone about everything. I guess I thought she wasn't doing that to me. I just couldn't live with the manipulation (mostly the cheating on me while I was going thru cancer treatment and raising my daughter) anymore, it was too God damn stressful. Walking on eggshells to having to pick her up off the floor when she fell flat on her face because she was piss drunk from drinking Bourbon straight from the bottle all night.
Ok, too many feels just came up.
I'm truly sorry. BPD or not putting someone through that is evil. I hope you got yourself out of that relationship and things turned around.
So you're saying don't get involved? Also, you realize the severity of the mental illness is on a scale. You could have worse BPD than someone else. I dated a girl for three months and rarely saw her bad side. I'm guessing that she was putting on a front to show her best self while the relationship is new. It ended abruptly when I told her I did a certain drug and she painted me black and thought I was the worst person in the world. We haven't spoken since but we were pretty emotionally invested in each other at that point. I know this because we are soul connected. I know that may sound crazy if you've never experienced it but I can feel her when she thinks about me. She cries everyday.
Three months? HA! I dated a borderline for a year and a half. She was still fucking gathering intel the first 3 months. These women play the long game. They suck you in and find every little detail about your heart and soul and they rip it out of you and destroy you over time.
It is horrible. Stay away from them. Borderlines almost never have chick friends, use that as a screen.
I'm not saying don't get involved. Just painting a small picture of what could happen if you do get involved. It take a strong person to deal and help with someone who has BPD.
I was diagnosed within the past year so I'm still adjusting and coming to terms with BPD. It's absolutely possible for cases to worse or better. Your gf has probably known she's had BPD for a while and was able to figure out her triggers and handle herself.
As for the soul mate thing, I know exactly what you mean, but ultimately it was BPD that ended my relationship.
Thank you for being willing and understanding to be in a relationship with someone with BPD.
They are disguised and only after meeting a few BPD s do you know what to look for. They're ability to manipulate emotions is a gift you could only appreciate if you've seen it in action. They are more than a worthy adversary with no regard for their own well being.
I agree, I dated 3 women with BPD. A BPD chick is a normal chick times 100. They will get under your skin. They have a gift for emotional manipulation that's to be feared, hated and be impressed with all at the same time. I don't care how RP you are, stay away even if you keep the armor in tact they'll find a way to do something. You know she's BPD if she's really cool at first, very into you and she gets close to you very quickly. Then they strike. A switch goes off, anything you say is annoying to them or hurtful. They also start to drink more or do more drugs. Many of them prostitutes when they can't afford drugs. At the end of this game they almost kinda plate spin, cause if you leave them they'll collapse.
I've dated two chicks with BPD, and I agree that they are only good for fvcking. Also, if you are emotionally weak, they will mentally crush you. One day they will be fvcking you and telling you how much she loves you and the next day she'll be doing it to another guy.
I love BPD chicks though. They are like a bad drug. They make you feel amazing and they are usually freaks in bed. The problem is everything they do is just an act, and they do it to every guy they mess with.
Don't do it guys! False accusations, violence, drugs, suicide attempts, stuff nobody should have to deal with.
I have BPD, I can't even imagine what a female dealing with the condition would be like.
wow , depressive self loathing, having trouble with your steady so any chump willing to validate a chicks feelings gets to pump and dump..
My sister has BPD. A lot of what these individuals do tends to be at the mercy of their own faulty psyche, but BPD people can make a change in themselves if they really choose to. It's often the worst when they are freshly introduced to the disorder, when they are extremely confused, sad, angry, etc. for legitimate reasons of having such a disorder, despite the symptoms themselves which only exaggerate such feelings.
I imagine the desire to change doesn't come until much later, when people with BPD will have lived and learned in the erratic way they do. If you see a college girl, who has no idea who she is, with BPD, you should definitely stay away unless you want to help her heal or something (good luck with that). My sister manipulates everyone under the understanding that they care for her in some way, shape, or form in order to perpetuate her addictions and distractions. BPD turns wonderfully selfless individuals into utterly despicable people at little fault of their own.
Hey I know that girl... Girls.
Spot on list from top to bottom
As somebody who just clued in and divorced one, I agree 100%. Most of those could have been written about my relationship without changing a word. I'd add number 16. She's in her late 20s and that's why she's suddenly interested in you instead of her previous long, very long line of "bad boys".
The number of times I've heard that I'm who they'll be looking for when they want to get married is what led me directly here. If I'm not good enough then, what makes them think they'll be good enough in the future
My Grandfather said this to me when I was young. He said,
"RPRob1, you're the kind of guy girls will ignore when you're young, but trip over themselves to be with you in their 30s."
It wasn't until a few months ago that I realized he was trying to warn me.
That's great. What other wisdom has he shared?
One the ones that still stick out to me is about food.
"Eat food you hate. Not because it'll make the food you enjoy taste better, but when you're forced to eat exotic food in front of clients you'll be able to stomach it without making faces."
He was telling me this because he was the Guest of Honor in a village in Malaysia and was served Monkey brain. I had some bad habits as a teen and lived with him for a summer. He beat the shit out of those habits. Sadly he passed away when I was 17. So much wisdom I wished I'd listened to and could ask him about now.
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I think this article will be right up your alley. What they are doing is putting their hypergamy on full, open display. The feminine imperative now not only expects you to accept AF/BB, they expect you to be enthusiastic about being her BB. If they peg a beta early in his 20's, and starve him of enough sex while he's young, they think he'll be so eager for their pussy when he turns 30 that he will gladly open that wallet in exchange for some 30-something duty sex.
I always get the most activity on OKC and POF when I put headlines like "No Single Mothers" or "No older women over 30 pls". The hate-o-grams that flood in are funny as hell. It's just pure entertainment. By doing this, I'M the one excluding them, rather than the other way around. They think they have exclusive rights to have "standards". Totally turns the tables.
Because you're "nice" - she assumes she can waltz in with her baggage and you'll happily carry her shit while she continues to invent reasons why she's not responsible for the selfish decisions she makes.
If you combine some of that with the Dark Triad you'd have my ex. My approach, no abortions, serious drinking or smoking and very successful via manipulation - the rest was all there.
I got out of it with my cash intact and negative blood work.
Someone else's problem now, thank god...live and learn.
I partially agree, but once dated someone who was lovely but terribly immature, unstable and had issues. I knew he would be a great partner in the future, once he got his shit together.
4 years later and it's come true - he's much more well-adjusted. I could say the same for another ex from my youth. He's now a proper adult who can hold down a job, and seems to really have his life together.
Sometimes it takes people longer to get their shit together than others.
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Ah I see, thanks for clarifying.
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Doesn't matter, because Wall. She won't start seeking out Betas out of monetary necessity, she'll "settle" for one when that's all she can get anymore and Alphas don't give her attention anymore.
This is known as an "Alpha Widow", and I'm convinced AW's are the primary reason the divorce rate is at 55%. Because hypergamy doesn't care about the Wall. Even after her looks have objectively faded, a woman who "settles" will always think she can do better. Whether that's actually true matters not to the Hamster.
Add mental illness to the list
One more, probably the biggest one. Her friends are aluts and/or cheat on their boyfriends. These girls will convince their fried a to cheat in itser to feel better about being slurs themselves.
I question a few of them but I definitely disagree with:
If you have your life on lock down, and you have incredible value, women will be approaching you constantly. It seems counter intuitive, but when you have extremely high value, the unicorns and near-unicorns will come out of the wood works to approach you while the 7s and under won't even bat an eye at you because you are so far out of their league.
This is an indication of success, this is not an indication of anything negative about the women. You become an irresistible magnet to only the highest value women and you should not hold this against them. At this point, you just need to collect the fruits of your labor and you have your pick of the litter for when you do decide to settle down.
It's like fucking a girl the first time you meet her; sure there is a 5% chance that youre the first guy she has done that with but don't count on it.
A girl who approaches guys will have been with a large number of men before the time that she approached you.
You are comparing apples to oranges.
If a woman is approaching you because you are low value and are too afraid to approach her, then you are right in your assumption. You don't have the foundation to attract and keep good women, and you're just waiting to let yourself be taken advantaged of. You are weak, and feel undeserving of truly high value women, and this will permeate all parts of your interactions with women.
However, if she is approaching you because you have extremely high value, then that's a totally different case. She can't help but become enamored by you because of your value. This is a good thing. Women in your life are supposed to be chasing you if your game is tight and you got your life sorted out.
Yes that is all true. It also means that she has approached many other men and men do not turn down sex. Thus, most likely she has fucked a lot of guys.
Here's how I see it. If I am an extremely high value male, the type of women I am looking for is equally high valued. This type of woman is the female version of myself. She has ambition and goals in her life, and she knows exactly what she wants and will work to get it. She is confident and secure and she is the perfect complement to me.
As a high value male, I refuse to devalue myself by doing the majority of the active pursuing. My work in "pursuing" is done before we even meet. My work is done in creating my undeniable value. It is up to the women to prove themselves to me. To put in franker words, I believe I am God's gift to women, and any woman in my life should understand this and behave accordingly.
In no way does this nirvana leave room for weaker behavior like chasing after passive women. Women should have instant and astronomical attraction towards me, and this attraction does not allow them to be passive.
You are worried that other men have elicited this response from her in the past. What's the problem with that? What exactly is the alternative? To find a woman who arbitrarily put up barriers between her and her dream guy? You will come to find that most of these women are insecure and/or damaged. They are not the ones you will be able to find a healthy stable relationship with.
And what exactly is your definition of a woman who has fucked a lot of guys? What number of guys crosses the threshold for you?
Again, this is the high valued male part of the spectrum. On this part of the spectrum, having women pursue you is natural. However, on the low value end of the spectrum, having women pursue you is extremely unnatural and should be a warning flag.
Yeah but this list is based off of one particular woman... sounds like a nightmare.
I thoroughly enjoyed mentally checking off each item as I reflected on one of my relationships from my beta days. Spot on.
Just a few addendums:
OKCupid discovered that the single best predictor of first-date sex was her liking the taste of beer. If a girl drinks, she also fucks freely.
Simple projection. She is operating from a solipsistic point of view. She would cheat without hesitation -- meaning in her mind, so too would you. Her jealousy is her attempt to contain your supposed proclivity for cheating.
This is seriously a great list of red-flags.
I'll be honest, every single woman that got in my life who liked beer turned out to be sluts, now that I think about it. Interesting...
I'm so f***n guilty of that kind of projections too.
You can swear here, we dont care.
Here, as in, the internet in general. Al Gore invented it for swearing. ManBearPig fucker.
Holy fuck. How can someone be so right? My first girlfriend was one of the biggest sluts in high school. She was hot as fuck but my god was she a damn slut.
This list is the most accurate list and description of slut behavior I've ever read. It's like reading a peer reviewed scientific journal on my ex-girlfriend and the other sluts I've known.
Seriously accurate how each one pertains to some sluts I've known
lol, "peer reviewed scientific journal"! My hs gf had her naked pics drop like 4 days after we started hooking up. And yup, I spent 6 months with that one. Beta days behind me now!
This is a case of simple projection. She realises she is a shitty person of morally dubious, disloyal and unfaithful character and thus plays off her flirting with plausible deniability as "innocent, light-hearted banter." Which is a massive affront to your analytical and social intelligence, by the way. A sign of total disrespect (she didn't respect you enough to fess up and be honest.) Yet when a woman even looks at you, she goes full control freak. Why? Because she's allowed to have her cake and eat it too but you're not. Also, because she is fucked up from childhood, she has trust issues and controlling you is her safe bet. You're the "rock in her storm" but not in the "he's the alpha I can rely on" kind of way that RPWs see a rock in the storm. You're not the rock she will tie herself to as a pillar of strength because you're not stronger than her. You're the rock she will kamikaze herself into when the storm gets too rough. She will destroy you just so she can float along in her lifesaver, and she doesn't care that she's doing that to you because you're just a means to an end to her. She feels entitled to that because of her fucked up past, she is incapable of proper pair bonding or love and all the rage she feels towards men is being abusively channelled directly at you.
You're the "dependable guy so weak and in love with her that you'll never leave her." You're the guy that's meant to still be standing there when she's old and wrinkly and nobody wants her anymore and she's done fucking the local football team. She will give you none of her prime years, but she will contort that with spin artistry as "real love." She will tell you "love is deeper than looks, it's not skin deep, it's about a connection of the souls" yet when her skin is supple, her titties bouncy and her body tight, she wants nothing to do with you sexually. Not even "once a month duty sex to keep him around paying for shit and making me feel like I'm a person." You're her "cashing out prize" the one she branch swings to when she's too old and too ugly to carry on playing the game the way she did in her youth. You're the guy she would reject at 25 but marry at 35.
Like men harvest women for sexual favours, women harvest men for emotional intimacy/commitment/trust etc. Fucked up women manifest this very violently by treating you like property and reducing your ego to a size so small that you won't even feel like you deserve her. She'll make you feel lucky that you're even with her "how did I get a woman as smart and beautiful as you?" all the while she fucks with your head and all the alpha dick within a hundred mile radius. Female predators are full on Machiavellian.
Whether you realise it or not OP, you are a victim of mental abuse. I don't know what your wife was like but she sounds a lot like a predator type female - the dark triad woman. The doggy on the leash doesn't get to shit in other people's kennels. When she leads the relationship rather than the opposite, she views you as her property rather than the natural way - her being your property. This is her safeguarding her property and seeing the other woman as a potential thief. It raises your SMV a little bit but because you're such a bitch you can't capitalise on the potential dread that is there.
Cheaters always accuse their partners of cheating in an irrational and neurotic manner to misdirect the attention from themselves and justify to themselves that their own cheating is acceptable "I wouldn't have cheated if he wasn't cheating!"
This particularly, I find is a huge red flag and when a bitch starts playing these games I know she's beyond help, inherently toxic and not good for me. I'm noping the fuck out of that situation. Of course, being a massive billy beta with retracting blue balls only makes this shit 50x worse. Like most things between the genders, you inverse the polarity to deduce the behaviour of the opposite gender. So for example: whilst men take mistresses and treat them like shit, reserving all loyalty for their LTR, women take betas for an LTR, treat them like shit and give all their respect to the alphas passing through the night who fuck 'em in the ass and make 'em taste their own poop off his dick. It's as nasty as it sounds. If the genders had of been flipped you would have been the mistress trying to get an LTR who couldn't get one. Instead you were the sex starved beta who's slutty wife kept you on a leash for emotional validation.
Fucked up women have to command loyalty by heading fucking because they're too inherently fucked up to believe in love and give themselves over to it. The closest thing they can experience to love is to control a weak man and coerce him into subservience. Ironically, the extent to which they are fucked up makes them more masculine, as you have accurately identified. However, being women, they are still subject to the rules of the game that women are, which is why you weren't an FWB but an LTR. Only alphas gets FWBs.
As an FYI, the women I wrote the Lucifer's daughter article about was about to marry a very high status beta whilst meeting up with me and offering up the pussy after she and he had argued over some random bullshit drama she had concocted. These bitches aren't worth the drama and it sounds like you took the brunt of her neurosis.
Thanks for replying, brother.
"The closest thing they can experience to love is to control a weak man and coerce him into subservience." Hit close to home. Harsh but true.
Your blog and The Rational Male book were my very first introduction to TRP.
You should publish a book, like The Rational Male. I and many more will buy it. A physical/kindle, curated, "Best Of" is just so more enticing to really sink your teeth in vs trying to cherry pick through your vast body of work.
Hey buddy thanks for the praise. Yes, I have big plans for the blog and have quite a few things going on with it at the moment. I'm actually polishing over a lot of my older content to make it flow better and be more readable. Naturally I'm trying to balance that alongside participating in the community here and writing and publishing new RP content. Luckily I've got about 5 weeks off for Christmas now so I've got some serious time I can invest into getting this all done. I also have the 48 laws of power article series to do as well, as well as more dark triad theories to flesh out (so many drafts and notes scattered all around the place) so it's firing on all cylinders when it comes to the blog.
In fact, the reason I made the archives page (http://illimitablemen.com/archives) was to make it easier to pick out what you like, to have it act as a sort of "interactive contents page" and make everything available from a single click in one place. Anyhow, I will look at further monetisation efforts/releasing a book further on down the track. Right now I am somewhat preoccupied with content creation and planning areas of growth for the site. I've had a good few requests to do a book now, so seeing as the demand is there (and will probably only grow alongside my blog) it's something I will look to do in the future.
Blogging is pretty exciting, and messages of praise like this really make it worth it because you know you're making a difference. All the best.
Please tell me how I can avoid these dark triads.. I give the appearance of an alpha; I do alpha things, but I really feel like a sex-starved beta who only gets lucky with whores every now and then, because of my facade.
Stop wasting all your energy on fabricating a facade merely to fool others. Actually put that energy into becoming what you want to be. When you become what you aspire to, you do not need to waste time faking because in your natural state you'll be alpha. Also men who alpha to the core will be able to sniff out your bullshit, you may fool the masses but the kind of men you want on your team, alphas, will smell your bullshit and disdain you for it.
At this point, I feel like the facade only exists in a sort of exaggerated state. I make a decent amount of money, but not 100k. I do hookup with girls, but very seldomly. Not all the time like I want it to be. Perhaps the money will come with time or is out of my hands, but maybe actually getting more plates is in my control? Not sure.
16..Rawdog sex in public parks.
This made me cringe. If this cant help you swallow the bitter pill than nothing can.
Good luck improvy
17. She complains about things that are entirely her fault. Or to reword it:
All of her biggest problems are her own fault.
EDIT: I misread, sounds like we're making the same point. You meant she isn't taking accountability for problems that are completely within her control.
I would say the opposite is a better indicator. She complains about everything NOT being her fault. You can see the mentality play out even in trivial events
Sure, these are harmless enough. But after you hear a few of these in a single date/hook-up/whatever it should be a red flag.
My slut ex would ask me to grab something like her purse for her while she was in the shower. I would look through her catastrophic mess of a room...then ask her where it was...then she would blow up on me "WHAT KIND OF QUESTION IS THAT...U NEED TO LOOK FOR IT". Bitch was fucking nuts
I would also say a dirty room is a red flag. Not just a messy room, but unable to see the floor because of all the crap strewn about. I learned this from my mom of all people. She warned me about my ex, and the ex hit 12 of these wickets.
Yup yup yup. My ex's room was unreal. I'm no neat freak myself, but this chick had no fucking order whatsoever. She blamed that shit on me too, even though she's been a mess before we started dating. Telling me that I distract her from cleaning up and doing her homework. I helped this bitch do her homework so she would stop bitching at me for wanting to spend time with her. In the meantime, when I was away and she had time to get shit done, what was she doing? Out getting drunk with her friends......guy friends. Makes me sick thinking about it.
Yeesh. How'd you find out about this one, OP?
If she's willing to go raw without having a conversation about it well before doing it, that's just a major red flag, public parks aside.
She had raw dog sex with other guys in public parks.
She had raw sex with other guy's dogs in public view?
I think that sums it up fairly accurately.
That's what did it for me. Living it.
Deadass, this shit almost pains me
Ugh. My ex. So many of these. Reading the list was like falling out of a pine tree and hitting branches on the way down. Ouch!
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"If she smokes, she pokes."
It would indicate disregard for consequences, and favoring quick reward over long term satisfaction.
Both smoking and slutin' around have that in common.
On the other hand, I've never ever came upon/ met a promiscuous girl who knew how to cook. And I mean like real food, not some half ass eggs.
I wonder if there are really and sluts that know how to cook? Cooking seems highly contradictory so if she likes and knows cooking, semi-unicorn right there.
Besides that, nothing sexier than a woman cooking a meal for you.
No slut I've known knows how to cook. However, many girls (including non sluts) also don't know how to cook anymore.
So if you suspect she's a slut, and she doesn't cook, that's one more point to her slut factor.
If she doesn't know how to cook at all, she may not be feminine, or she's just selfish.
Don't count on this. My BPD ex could cook very well and did so often.
I've posted it before but what I was told when I was younger was, "If she'll put a cigarette in her mouth, she'll put anything in her mouth." My observation is that this is true.
Damn! This recent girl I dated smoke like a chimney and talks about how shes a good girl.
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I call this the Thieve's Price. You know others want it, because you wanted it enough to steal it. Yet you also know better than anyone how easy it is to take.
Fuck a cheater if you want, but never try to keep them.
This described 100% the slut who brought me to TRP.
You only forgot one possible trait :
Thanks for that man. Appreciate it.
Could someone explain it please? I think it's key.
I was raised to help people in need so to me not helping someone who needs you (even if it's in order to protect yourself) makes you a very, very bad person.
You're simply wrong, even if this is honestly noble thinking, and I hope you snap out of it. Quite simply put, I think you're confusing "assuming responsibility" with "helping someone".
A single mother with another man's child, and her own sob story of how she got there, is NOT YOUR RESPONSIBILITY. That doesn't make you a bad person, for having a rule to yourself, that you won't seriously date single mothers, for instance.
A woman who has a history of (claimed) abuse, is again, NOT YOUR FAULT OR RESPONSIBILITY. What are you going to do to help her? Just what? Blue pill /white knight stick up for her? The problems happened before you came along.
You need to see your exclusivity (staying sexually exclusive for one woman) as a PRIZE you give to a quality woman who has proven herself time and time again to you. Don't give it away because you feel sorry for a woman. Building a relationship on a foundation of "because you feel bad for them" is plain shitty and backwards. You build a healthy relationship (initially) through attraction, and mutual respect/bonding for each other growing over time.
At the end of the day, you can't help everyone. I suggest you see TRP's view on the "close circle" or "your own family unit/inner circle" - basically the code says, you very carefully let people into your inner circle, vet them and all (women and men), and these are the few people you'd do anything for (help). Fuck anyone else who's not in your circle. Think about it, if you had a child of your own, wouldn't you put your resources towards THEM first, instead of trying to help the other millions of less fortunate children out there?
It's not cruel, it's the natural order of the world. We help ourselves and those we care about most first, and it's downright unfair to our close circles or you have your priorities mixed up, when you give yourself away to somebody not in the circle.
TLDR: You can always help people without assuming responsibility for them, if you're inclined to do so. And there's plenty of people you straight up can't help, and you're better off helping yourself or your family instead, this takes life experience to know when.
When you do that, you also subsidize shitty behavior, which leads to more shitty behavior.
It means you have to take care of yourself, because she is beyond 'fixing.' Her emotional issues, clinginess, daddy issues - they are not your problem. You will not be able to help her work through them.
Helping people is great and all, but what is being described is not helping her. It is enabling a child to the detriment of your own well being. Time spent trying to 'help' her is time wasted that could be spent helping those that will appreciate/reciprocate it, on finding a woman worthy of your time, and on improving yourself.
It means you can be empathetic with a person who's had a shitty life but you're under no obligation to allow them into yours. You're only responsible for yourself, not every sad Jane with a heartbreaking history.
Gay friends are non-judgmental?
Lol, I'm bi, out of all my friends, they are the MOST judgemental. They have NO stake in needing that pussy and will tell them to get their shit straight. In addition, they usually act as epic gatekeepers since you can't hit on them to bypass them, and they'll take little Ms. Pukesalot home before you get in her pants.
Sounds like not a lot of people here have any actual experience in the gay community (out of college).
Yeah, wtf. This is 2014. Who doesn't have gay friends?
You can't help someone by sinking your own ship.
It's not just non-judgment, decent looking and higher smv gay guys get laid more frequently than straight guys.
Since gay guys don't have to deal with antislut defenses they can be more open about sex and a girl's herd mentality just goes "all my friends have sex whenever they want so I will to."
A couple quick thoughts:
1) Reading up on why men stay with women who have BPD--one theory is that at some level, men themselves want to be saved/rescued/taken care of. And that if you let go of this other needy person, you are abandoning hope of someone taking care of you.
2) I became a buddhist a while ago. That involves meditating on and developing universal love and compassion. What's interesting is: a lot of the stuff i used to called "love" doesn't make sense or ring true anymore. All kinds of garbage, I used to think of as being LOVING: eg. idealizing other people, being unable to bear the thought of their pain, personal loyalty, feeling i should take responsibility for other people, wanting to feel connected, a sacrificial attitude, my own self-image as a good person. That stuff may be normal, maybe some of it is masculine instinct or human nature, or it maybe cultural, or it maybe something that has to do with my personal upbringing. Who cares though. The point is, this shit actually has NOTHING to do with love, or my happiness, or even their happiness. It's just old habitual ways of thinking. I'd argue that if you look closely Buddhism and the Buddha have a RP streak.
I guess what I'd say, in summary is: I encourage you to double down on the love and kindness stuff. But be open to the possibility that a lot of what you think about it is just... obsolete. Maybe it's time to update that. Also, make sure that your kindness and love also include yourself.
You might find that your thinking shifts on what it means to help people.
Those are a few thoughts and i hope something in there is useful in some way.
So goddamm true. If she has a close gay friend, is passionate about gay rights... she's slut/damaged and next her right away.
Hey fuck off, my sister is gay.
I agree with you, but you lost when you used emotion to fuel your argument.
I wasn't fueling my argument. I was just pointing out he's a judgmental disk.
By that logic the only way to be a good person is to quit your job and flying to africa and help AIDS orphans build huts.
Its DANGER WILL ROBINSON, not ANDERSON.
It would be "/u/Dad7025" who points this one out, lol.
Land Of The Giants and Lost In Space were fucking legit.
I was going to say this too..
Yeah, all 15 of those in one package is definitely far into the nope zone. Hope you don't end up having to give her anything, and also hope you've learned your lesson well. Also remember to ask yourself before you LTR a woman: "beyond being someone that's willing to have sex with me, what value does she add to this relationship?" If you struggle to find an answer then you probably won't enjoy the LTR.
honestly none of these apply to my wife as far as I know. Is it really that uncommon?
You have no idea. Congrats on finding the one needle in that big ass haystack.
Out of interest, how much does your wife like drinking? Mine meets almost none of these and doesn't drink at all.
She has one friend who comes over and does their girly crafts with her and they sometimes drink moscato, and sometimes when I drink beers she'll have a glass. She never drinks when we go out either.
In case anyone was curious ill tack this on. She came from a fairly religious family and its been a big part of her life. I actually met her at church when she was 6 or so and I was maybe 8. She's always had a crush in me. We started dating when she was 16, and got married 8 years ago when she was 18. We got married very young, long before I discovered trp, but she's a good wife and things have worked well for us.
Only one of these applies to me (#5, thanks dad!).
I'm going to go with, "yes".
s 1,3,4,5,7,9,10,12,13,14... Pretty much describing my ex. Hilariously spot-on.
This summarizes one of my exes perfectly. Everything was spot-on. It goes to show that women aren't these mysterious enigmas that some may try to perceive them as, but painstakingly predictable and easy to understand.
Great list. Hopefully it helps anyone out there who is suspicious of their relationship and just needs that final push to gtfo.
I have experience in this department. You forgot to add:
16. She gaslights, e.g. creates a problem and then blames you for it.
17. Is insecure about her image and seeks validation by the act of sleeping around.
Frequent gaslighting is also a sign that you are dealing with a dark triad woman.
Underlying rage, Check.
Sadistic, Check.
Sociopathic, Check.
Social isolation, Check.
Self victimization, Check.
Gentlemen I have ventured into the danger zone and returned to tell the tale (another day). Craziest woman I ever met, dated her for 1.5 years and even lived with her. I used to be very naive but I pay attention and I learned a lot about how women work from her, even though she is in the crazy zone.
I was married to one for 15 years. She would twist everything I did or said to make herself a victim. She often insisted I did or said things that never happened, or the opposite, swear up and down that something didn't happen when I know it did. She was so good at this that she had me doubting my own sanity for years. In hindsight, I think she was so completely fucking crazy that she fully believed her lies, which made them all the more convincing.
I got my head on straight during the last year or so of the marriage by keeping a journal of events & observations in an encrypted diary app on my phone. This allowed me to "go back in time" when I caught her creating her own reality again and say, "Actually, no, you're full of shit, this is how it happened and I know this because I fucking WROTE IT DOWN WHEN IT HAPPENED." Didn't stop her from clinging to her false reality, but it certainly gave me the confidence I needed to be done with her once and for all.
Yeah you can't break someone like that, even with proof. The day I told my ex I wasn't going to take anymore of her crazy shit and her pussy ass crying (she kept crying to get me back then would get all crazy a day later) wasn't going to get me back she knew I was out of her reach for good at that point.
She filed a restraining order against me claiming I abused her and broke shit around the house (that she broke). That got me kicked out of my own place with only the clothes on my back, car and a court order that I needed to keep paying the rent. The short version is I was back in in three weeks.
I didn't come here to rehash this but just letting you know that others have gone through what you did too.
On the plus side I'm able to really see the craziness, hypergamy and manipulation that drive women now.
You just made my week with that youtube video. LMAO.
Heh yeah the unicorn zone gets me every time.
TIL my ex-wife is a dark triad woman. Where the hell was TRP in my life 10 years ago.
Like many blue pillers you weren't looking for it at the time.
Why in the blue fuck would you marry a woman who had an abortion let alone multiple ones?
Probably because some guys are just happy to get their dick wet.
Because you know you are right. My response to him wasn't sympathy or sadness but that he saw the red flags all along and still marries her, then complains that she cheated and now she is a slut. LOL. Really?
One abortion is reasonable, mistakes happen. 2 or more is worrying.
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I'm not utterly convinced by that research, I'd like to see more on it. That said though, my wife has only been with me and we're still together 20 years later so for my personally it's been successful.
Uh what's the big deal with making a mistake? Maybe if it's multiple abortions
Why in the fuck would you marry?
This list should be in the side bar. Sorry for your shitty luck with the slut and the pending divorce.
As I read each of these I can only think about this one slut I LTR'd when I should have nexted. The following numbers applied to this ONE girl: 1,4,5,6,7,10,11,13,14.
1) I was almost surprised when she came up and pretty much said "your dick and my vagina should meet." That was beta me being taken off guard.
4) Dudes... Dudes everywhere. The sluts will always say "girls are just so dramatic, that's why I hang out with dudes." PFF, you only hang out with so many dudes because girl on girl strap on action still can't equate to getting pounded by a real dick.
5) Mom and Dad were both train wrecks. I mean bad family material you see in real sad sad dramas or documentaries on tv.
6) While OP mentioned it's no laughing matter, it fucks with that person for life and they become damaged goods. Losing your v-card to a stranger thrusting you against your will doesn't mold a princess. In my particular case I'll still put quotes around "rape." Just because you think you know someone doesn't mean they weren't one of the many that claim "rape" after a REGRETFUL sexual encounter.
7) This should be closer to the top of the list. Someone who is terrible with money makes for a terrible partner. PERIOD.
10) If she smokes she pokes.
11) Oh you're going out with friends for drinks? Have fun! Have fun getting strange dick thrown in you!
13) How about this chick fucked me the same night she ended her engagement. Dude was wrapping on my apartment door and everything. A few months later it was happening to me. Not the wrapping on anyone's door, just she had already fucked someone else to end our relationship.
14) Read the previous one. We banged a bunch, I said let's keep it casual, she couldn't, I caved, ended a few months later.
Typing all this out makes me feel like a real retard, but I'm in a better place and she already has 1 divorce on her belt so guess I still came out on top.
Let's not forget on 4) -- women have no problem slut-shaming each other. It's part of their sexual strategy. All the more reason for sluts to avoid other women.
Pretty sure that's already in the side bar somewhere.
This is side bar material right here...concise and spot on.
Yeah, 7/15 into divorce here. She is divorce raping as we speak.
Now seeing an 8/15 plate. They are pretty awesome plates, I'll give them that.
I think we "invented" a different kind of scoring system.
Where were you almost 20 year ago?
So where am I at with 13/15? I'm in shit is where I'm at.
Multiple/extensive body modifications. Seems to have a high correlation with dissatisfaction with self image and attention seeking.
Wow, just about every female has at LEAST one of these characteristics.
This is like saying "HOW TO KNOW IF YOU HAVE EBOLA" -Coughing -Fever -Don't Feel Well
I must have Ebola!
But really though, sucks your wife hurt you, but try to be less bitter about it and continue on.
I see these as "green flags". I won't ltr her but I will sure P&D her...
Keep a penicillin shot handy.
Excellent point, which speaks more generally to the concept of projection.
People subconsciously will project their values and behaviors onto others until proven otherwise. It is commonly advised that if a partner is accusing you of cheating, she herself has something to hide.
Unfortunately, this works in the reverse as well. If you are honest you will expect a partner to be too, and accept their word at face value.
This dynamic is in play far too often with the beta / 'reformed slut'.
Go live life for a while lol.
I'v been through so many sluts I've probably seen it all. Now I am with an absolute sweetheart of a girl. Pretty much following the RP format for an ideal LTR to a tee.
However, I never truly let my guard down. I fully realize it could be over in an instant. I never assume "Oh she wouldn't do that.." etc. Always keep your guard up. I wish my pop would have told me this when I was a young man. No matter how good things are going, and how good you feel about a relationship, never trust her completely and always cover your ass when it comes to finances/property.
To be fiar, I've yet to see a fiscally responsable girl. I know they must be out there, but never seen.
Having said that, I've worked on mine, and think I'm finally making progress, my buddies wife calmed down after her kids, but their policy is to just keep making more money, so i guess it works in the end.
12 is the most telling. People can't get outside their own experience, so whatever they are accusing you of, more often than not, is the kind of thing they would do themselves. Jealous girls are most likely cheating. ones who gaslight you for almost any behaviour are 99% of the time, guilty of it themselves. It's not even a girl thing, everyone does it.
Try to find a teller at your bank/credit union. It's mostly younger women, and being in finance they will most likely have checking/savings account, participate in retirement plans, and have knowledge of credit report/scores.
I did.. And they don't. Though now she's middle management at one if the big companies here.
No, unfortunately it was just me stop paying for things, and letting her know it's the #1 reason I will leave her... And mean it
i have a friend who works as a teller and have met plenty of them. they are all ditzy 20 somethings or post wall drunks.
it's just an easy job for any girl to get into.
A touch of autism and OCD really can do it, you'll get a woman who will not rest until a checkbook is balanced down to the penny and keeps a monthly family balance sheet
I'd rather be the one in charge. I don't splurge often, but when I do, I've thought it out and don't need a fight for it.
They exist - I know a couple actually. It mostly comes tied up with other stuff you may not welcome though - free hobbies, background of being poor, intense career/professional focus.
Beyond that, I think the answer is what you mentioned. Find someone where your earnings swamp petty money management stuff, and teach her the big shit.
I Prefer people who used to be poor. Hard to be entitled when you started with nothing IMO.
Training and dread game seen to work so far
Holy shit this 100% true, sounds like my ex.
This is the description of my ex.
After 2 years (she cheated on me and tried to be friends afterwards, i gave her no contact and she kept contacting me every 6 months or so) i went fully by the way of trp, met wonderful girls on my path and now i am dating a girl that gives me what i specifically want from a woman. A top tier high quality LTR material.
My ex on the other side, is stalking my friends facebook to catch up on some picture they may be taking with me.
Poor soul.
wow. this describes my ex very well. not everything is spot on, but most. like she has never had an abortion and to my knowledge had not cheated on anyone before me, but she did cheat on me, however it was 3 years into our relationship and she told me about it hours after it happened. she wasn't the most girly girl but sometimes she would be. every now and then she would wear a very cute dress and i loved when she dressed all feminine like but she much preferred to wear skinny jeans a t shirt a d flip flops. to be fair, she did dress well, and usually wouldn't wear anything too slutty unless we were going on a date and even then she was actually pretty modest most* of the time.
I hate her and love her, it's complicated. we haven;t spoken a word in 11 months, and I will not be the first person to crack. Dated for 5 years so I have a lot of an emotional investment in her. Yes I do admit i have oneitis. but after spending 5 years with a girl day in day out, almost dying together in a huge car collision and going through rough shit between ages 16-21 I think anyone in my situation would. I don;t know how to get over her. Ive posted on here before and you guys have been helpful. Im still open to suggestions, so please feel free!
This list is on point. Especially the tomboy, guy friends, sociability, and divorced/broken home. Sometimes it doesn't even have to be a broken home, if the two parents live apart for whatever reason (like work) and she's been raised by a single parent (usually the mom), she can still turn out a hoe. Girls need guidance, and when you whoring under your mom's nose while your 16, you lack discipline.
FTFY. I don't have any problem with partying, drinking or guy friends, but here's the deal: I'm to be invited. Every time. If drinking and partying is going on and your woman doesn't want you there, there's a reason for it. Next that bitch.
Thank you for this handy guide to picking up sluts.
I seriously loathe when a girl tells me she has more guy friends than girl friends. Either the girl is really that naive that she believes all these guys just want to be her "friend" or she's leaving them on the hook for whenever she feels the need to use them. So whenever I meet a girl who claims this, a major red flag goes up for me.
One thing I have tried to explain to these girls is that they don't understand how most guys operate, and they usually don't have the ability to see through the bull shit and realize that the guys that they are friends with are only being friendly to get what they want. Saying this to a girl will offend her and make her think that you don't know what you're talking about.
99% of the time, for me at least, these girls who have more guy than girl friends will end up either cheating, or take advice from her guy friends that will ultimately work against you (because they want her to leave you so their chances are better). This is basic knowledge but for some reason it is just unfathomable for these girls.
Honestly, your description from top to bottom matches perfectly the symptoms of Border Personality Disorder. The only thing missing is her cutting herself and driving extremely recklessly.
You may want to look at this (http://www.bpdfamily.com/message_board/). It is a message board providing support for those who dated or are dating people with BPD. It helped me a lot.
Thank you for posting that link
Great list. #1 is way overlooked. and goes hand in hand with #14. It's a great trap to trick you into wasting 3 years of your life.
If what you're saying is what to look out for then the opposite must be what to look for in a woman. Someone who is not social, doesn't have friends, and almost nil sexual experience. Seems to be TRP ideal but I'm not interested in that.
I don't think you're taking responsibility, OP. Sure, she did shitty things and I'm not going to say you deserved it. You didn't. But you knew a great deal of these things either going into the relationship or learned them later. However, you chose to stay in that relationship until the inevitable happened. Why would you expect something that this person was very obviously not capable of? In fact, it's something that very few people are capable of over the long term and even less so in their 20s.
Women (like men) seem to work out their 'issues' stemming from their parental relationships through their romantic relationships. This woman acted exactly like her history would suggest. And you're surprised by this? If anything, you're the fool for expecting something different. But hey, we've all been the fool. Just don't stay in that victim state too long.
14/15 the mother of my child. Never got married to the bitch though.
We all do stupid things when we think we are "in love" at some point in our lives ... but then the reality takes a shit in your face and you wake up covered in tears and vomit. But as in any situation where you feel filthy, you can always take a shower, go your own way, and take a stronghold of your superiority. Because now you know the truth. Without this experience you probably never would.
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I had an ex that ticked every single box.
Ahhh, my beta days...
What does 10 out of 15 get me?
I'm willing to bet that 99% of all women exhibit at least 3 of these traits, with 5-6 of them being the norm.
My ex-wife was good for 1, 3, 5, 6, 7, 12, 13, and 14. I was much younger than I am now and BP as fuck, so there was no way I picked any of that shit up.
Edit: For clarification
Only one of those applies to me (#5, nothing I can do about that one). Where are you all meeting women at??? I don't know if women are encouraged to post here, I just think there is a serious misunderstanding between the sexes and I fault feminism.
The fact that you self-identify with #5 is completely irrelevant. Unless you wish to state that even though you only check one box, you're still a massive slut. Because in that case, you're an outlier and that's interesting.
The poster I replied to stated that 99% of women exhibit at least 3 traits, and while I have no hard data to back me up, I find that extremely hard to believe. Going by his theory I'm in the 1% and I can't believe myself and the majority of my friends are that unusual.
Yeah, I'm older than most around here but most of my wife's friends, and my mate's wives don't seem to tick many of these boxes out here in the Sydney burbs.
So you do have mommy/daddy issues, but you're not social, you're not feminine, and at the same time you don't drink, you don't go out drinking without your SO and you don't smoke for example?
I would say such traits are quite often encountered.
Nobody gives a shit. Men are talking. Run along.
Boys are whining, but continue...
Yeah I agree, this is pretty important to note. All women will check the list on some points, not instantly meaning they are a huge slut. Probably the more points checked, the higher the degree of promiscuity though.
However, also keep in mind while counting that something like mommy/daddy issues or liking to drink has a VERY wide range. There's the girl that likes to occasionally go out with friends and get intoxicated, and there's the girl that goes out to party whenever she can and gets completely wasted.
I think 3-4 of them apply to me. 4,5,6 (molested by mother). However for number 4, it's just that there aren't as many girl gamers around me, and most of my friends were first my husbands friends. Also number 16 is the other possibility. I did suffer from depression for a while and PTSD. It took several years but I am doing well , take a daily medication for depression but I'm pretty damn even keel now.
For me, besides my mother abusing me, I was a virgin until I met my now husband. We waited about 6 months before becoming intimate.
I think you can have several of these traits without being a slut for sure.
Actually for me, my abuse pushed me in the opposite direction, I became very reserved about my body completely. Now, my husband has awakened me and taught me it wasn't me, but them, and I know how to enjoy sex and even revel in it with him.
As a RPW, we kinda go by the standard, it's okay to be HIS whore, but not A whore lol.
No way in hell this is the norm for 99% of women.
I think he ment 5 or 6 of the total traits, not numbers 5 and 6.
Definitely not, but this is the biggest red flag on this list. Women that were molested are universally slutty and almost all of them are bipolar. It just is what it is, and it sucks because it's not her fault, but a girl that was molested isn't even plate material.
I meant 3 out of the 16 listed by the OP. I would think 6 is not nearly as common as the others, but probably a lot more common than you think. 4, 5, 9, 10, and 13 are the traits you're more likely to come across.
Every single letter here describes my slutty ex. Well done.
Don't forget the responsible sluts: Shes on an IUD but hadn't been in a relationship for years
Just FYI - IUDs aren't a 100% safe form of contraception, especially the copper coil. They are a fantastic thing, and great for couples, but still not foolproof. Just thought I'd throw that in there.
She was projecting.
Can somebody explain this? I've dated girls that have approached me, and they have been slutty. One of them cheated on me hooking up with a guy at a party right under my nose... But, I don't see why the fact that they approached you is wrong? I mean, I know that most worthwhile girls you have to ask out most of the times, but why is it bad that they approached you?
When a woman is interested in you, she is not likely to approach you. What she will do is give some type of sign (a smile, not breaking eye contact, etc.) that it's okay for you to approach her. This applies to most women. If a woman blatantly approaches you, that is a definite sign of aggression that is almost always displayed by a slut looking to get the D.
I agree with you, but whats the reasoning behind this? Are girls (who aren't sluty) more afraid of rejection?
Yes, pretty much. They are afraid of rejection, and their feminine nature doesn't let them approach (which is really the man's work) - on top of that, they don't let their vagina lead them around that much so they will be less likely to decide, "today, I'm going to get laid. Where's my slutty dress?"
Is there a difference between her approaching your and her grabbing onto a female friend timidly while the friend tells you "my friend likes you"?
I've been approached like this quite a few times, but never had a girl who just straight up went up to me saying she wanted the D.
My ex had 2, 3, 4, 9, 10 and 13, when we were dating she told me she kissed a girl (and said the bf wanted to kiss her as well but she pushed him away) yeah rigt.
I always found it strange she has more male friends than gfs, but does that really makes somebody a slut? an somebody explain?
Well, after reading those posts I feel better haha
Holy fuck, I have never seen a more accurate list in my life.
Used this list to check how many of the traits the girl i'm dating has, I was very relieved.
This describes my last ex to a fucking T. Thankfully, my wife fits none, but Jesus Christ, was I a pathetic chunk in the past.
You're not describing a slut, you're describing a woman with borderline personality disorder. Which usually happen to be sluts.
The golden rule: if she smokes she pokes!!!
Also from reading this I think I may fall under ur catagory of slut.
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Number 4 on the list is partly discussed from this article posted on the science subedit. http://washington.cbslocal.com/2014/12/02/study-women-with-more-male-friends-have-more-sex-because-partners-fear-sex-rivals/
Enlightening. Thanks for sharing. Several of your points weren't obvious to me.
Now they are.
Holy shit, my cheating slut ex-wife had all of these traits except one. Pretty spot on analysis here
I for one love sluts... I approve of all of this behavior.
You described the girl I saw for three months. I fell hard for her had lost weight she was attractive but I just kept seeing more and more red flags. Talked myself out of being in love by jogging those thoughts and experiences I had with her.
My favorite was going to bars with hers, since she had my attention and validation she'd talk to other males so I'd talk to different females, whatever I am an attention magnet she was an attention whore. Made some new friends while she flirted with some guys I knew she'd come back and when she did I'd tell her. Are you fucking stupid go there and ask them to buy us a drink. She did that once or twice then she started inviting random dudes to come back to her place and buy beers. I stopped talking to her after that because I was tired of the games.
Don't marry a slut...the end
All spot on, a great list for gentlemen who don't know how to spot the slut. Source: married to one 10 years without spotting the signs. You don't need to LTR a girl with even 3 of these flags. Does that mean ending up likely alone? Yes. Is that better than the risk of your life ruined and being divorce raped by that slut? Yes. We can all guarantee that you will be in a better place for a quality LTR at 35 than 25. So just be patient.
I would modify #6) claims she was molested at a young age. My ex brought up being raped by a black boy when she was about 12. I didn't give her any attention for it, because I assumed she had processed it by then, and she never brought it up again, with me or any one else. Coincidently, she married a black man 6 months after the divorce. I'm thinking it was part of some rape fantasy of hers, rather than a false claim, since there was no police report or name or evidence. Point is, there's no way to prove her assertion unless there is a molester behind bars, but both are equally red flags.
dude i feel really sorry for you,multiple abortions alone should have been enough deterrent,how delusional can one be?
2, 4, 5, 6 (probably), 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 13, 16, 18, 19.
WOW! :( I had ENORMOUS feelings for my ex who broke up after 1.5 months. She was the first (and the fucking last) girl that I BEGGED to take me back. This wonderful sub... People don't really realize HOW MUCH they owe this sub.
Holy fuck, my ex ticks at least 14 of those 19.
No wonder it felt like such a weight off of my shoulders when we broke up.
I'd like to suggest another Is constantly on her phone sure, she could be playing Candy Crush or some such shit but chances are she's on Kik or Whatsapp, in Tinder, texting her orbiters, arranging for her next portion of cock.
My ex had all of these. She ended up cheating on me with her 30 year old, already graying alcoholic coworker. (we were both 21 at the time)
holy shit dude sounds like you married human garbage!
Is single mom a factor? I see a lot of 'em on OKC, obv. the ones with 4+ kids with different factors are sluts as well..
She uses Tinder more often.
Takes drugs.
Great list, I dated a girl like that. I'd also add that most likely they haven't gone more than a few weeks of being single before dating you though typically they will go 0 days of being single because they have some beta orbiter already lined up as a place holder for their next guy.
Man I'm sorry there were all these signs and you only picked up on them after it was too late.
It's all too easy to overlook them, because no one flag is going to ruin an impression, and they're usually spread out enough over time not to consider doing some math.
Without TRP, men are incredibly susceptible to making the same mistake.
Sometimes we ignore them because our penis has another agenda.
"Sluts at their core know that their behavior is wrong."
I don't really agree with this. Monogamy isn't in our nature. Men and Women who sleep around aren't being morally wrong, unless you subscribe to a major religion that tells you to stone unmarried women who death who have sex. Read "Sex at Dawn" by Chris Ryan. It's critiques the standard narrative that monogamous pair bounding happened in hunter gather societies. Like you said, "Sluts; Fuck em, don't marry them." No need for a double standard. We are all doing what come naturally. LTR's are stupid.
Even if it isn't in our nature, girls still feel guilt and shame for whoring it up. If they didn't, they'd just bang a bunch of dudes and go about their day without any need to justify it. What really happens is they either lie/hide it or they do the opposite and "own it."
Best wishes to a speedy life recovery, whether that means Red Pill or not. Either way, you've done every last Redditor who ever touches this post a huge service.
I'll add to the chorus of "X # of factors describes my ex" (in my case, 14/15). This post should be saved, sidebarred, analyzed, and exalted until Hell freezes over; it's arguably the best predictor I've ever read, especially with how well it clicks with the readers here.
I agree. This is my ex girlfriend to a T. Like everything. haha. God i was such a beta back then. Ugh..
To the people reading this looking for ammo to hate on us, just know that this guy is bitter and just spitting out the poison that's in him right now.
OP you are clueless if you actually married a girl like that.
*Abortions
*Cheater
*Doesn't say she is taken
I'm surprised the rest of you are upvoting this, this shit is common sense.
1 is painfully stupid to read
You're a pussy momma's boy faggot because you went for a woman that showed interest in you? Seriously?
It's probably more of a yellow flag instead of a next rule. He's mad at himself, he should be mad in general.
Point being, if a woman approaches you, then she's comfortable doing it. She got that way by doing it a lot with other guys.
My current situation us with a chick that satisfies almost all of these. I knocked her up. You definitely don't want to do that.
Damn, sorry to hear that. Get her an abortion. Just schedule it and tell her you're taking her. Do it for the kid.
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Get the fuck out. Save yourself.
Yeah dude, pull the rip cord or it's going to get bad.
This describes virtually every woman I've ever met until I moved abroad.
This makes no sense at all. So if you are a non-social pussy who doesn't like to drink, she is a slut?
For the most part all but a few describe my ex. Nice list of flags to continue to look for...
100% spot on, just add the gay bestfriend point.
Hey OP, this might be a major reality check for you but maybe you just really suck at dating if you think these things actually need to be said out loud. That and your entire toxic philosophy is a self-fulfilling prophesy where these types of girls are the ones who gravitate towards you due to your mentality, but that's a box of fun psychoanalyzing for another day.
Sounds like you were blind enough to marry the sluttiest of sluts. Goddamn. Work on yourself. Get some therapy before you start another relationship. Don't be captain save-a-ho. This is some pretty basic advice.
Maybe that's true, but the list is still gold.
Maybe you suck a lot of dick
omg yes i wanna give you gold not just an upvote!! someone tell him the truth already instead of cosigning that they suck!! ouch!!
Thanks Fresh Tits, it means a lot
14! Omg, I'm face palming myself, I've don't that. Stupid, stupid, stupid.
Good list man! This should be side bar material.
Describes a lot of one of my ex, she got the abortion when we were on a break (from another guy). Daddy issues/divorced/middle child too.
Why for some reason I think that the problem is if she instead has no guy friends
Great post....#12 is because of her projection.
First thing on your bucket list:
Find out which STD is killing you.
About 13 of those apply to my current girlfriend of 3 years. Should I be worried?
You should fuck someone else. Especially someone she would find out about. If the whole jealousy thing is real it will probably make her want to have sex with you. You mentioned the we beya mode thing and nothing gets you over a cheating ex better than fucking someone else, then fucking her and dropping her like a ton of bricks. Sorry to hear about the slut wife though. Thats rough
Holy fuck you just described my ex hahaha
So damn accurate it's scary.
Yes! A thousand times yes! I wish I had this list when I was younger. Luckily, I was smart enough to see some of the red flags ...even back then.
I can vouch for this, with the exception of number 6 & 15 my ex-fiance exhibited the exact same behavior. To expand on 9, and city girl who lists wine as thing for anything is bad news. wine + girlfriends = death.
My ex: 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10,11,12,14
Yup I'd say this is accurate
Dont know about point 3 though. Ive met the opposites
I had to respond. all of this is on point. Its like they say, "you cant make a ho a housewife".
Most guys in jail don't get a pussy pass, but they do get their pussy passed.
Up until 16 your list was spot on about a girl I went to school with. Like damn that's crazy accurate.
Holy shit this list is my ex.
I texted this to a friend who told me about TRP, here is his response. He dated a girl with histrionic personality disorder, tell him to go to psychforums.com and then go to histrionic personalty disorder...that is what I went through with my last ex wife... super sluts!!!
Oh fuck, time to re-assess my situation.
17-18 of those points are spot on about my ex long term girlfriend
First girlfriend I had was textbook slut/whore. Started relationship shortly after first time having sex, cheated on ex-boyfriends, loved to drink, had only one female friend, loud and social and very obviously slutty. But you know, I thought she actually liked me, because I was different. Oh man, that wake-up call really hurt.
Awesome list. I recently un-plated because of for to many of these reasons. Super Beta past me would of gotten into a LTR with the super hoe. This list is a must read in my opinion. I have one question out of curiosity. What would some great common examples of gaslighting be? What would you guys think some of the more common created situations?
Once more, awesome read. Sorry that you had to go through the divorce with the slut however, it seems as though you're recovering very well.
did you just describe my last gf?
This is in relation to number 12. In my experience, someone who thinks everyone is always lying is a liar. It's just how people are. Almost nobody is truly empathetic, we see other people's situations through our own experiences. People who are paranoid are often those who will willingly screw over a friend, people who worry about gossip often participate in gossip. People who think everyone is hiding something are usually hiding something. I can comfortably extrapolate that people who think everyone is cheating are usually cheaters.
I guess I won't be dating anyone I knew from high school
Hello. Can I just point out all these things you red flagged and you still married her. Trust your instincts and your gut, they never lie.
Yikes, well I was doing fine until 16, 18 and 19.
Edit. Wait, her best friend is a lesbian. Add 17.
If you are effectively applying dread game, isn't this the position you want to be in? You want to be the one who is less afraid of losing her than she is of you, right?
Yeah, I'm a bit confused as to why that'd be a bad thing.
"She was molested in her youth. "
Used to be a big fan of 'Love Line' when I was away as boarding school. Listened every night. Nearly every girl with a fucked up story, Adam and Dr. Drew would cut them off and ask, so who molested you, 9/10 times they were right. Corrolla has a lot of TRP info.
Are you a wizard? This shit is spot on... reminds me of the first bone beta teenage me was thrown and latched onto for years of pain...
My X got 15/19... The next guy married her.
Well said, I'm sorry you went through that, but your experience is something we ALL can learn from. I will use this as a check off list, thanks.
All of these apart from number 15 describe my ex wife. Great list op.
Holy shit this is like the majority of the women I know, and the worst part is that I have no respect for this type of woman. For me they are worse than crap. Its a sad thing that feminism promotes all these behaviours.
Don't quite agree with that. Even the so-called quiet housewives are big whores.
I'll add tattoos/ink to the list
TLDR: don't date someone with more problems than you. Also, don't blind yourself to red flags, don't rationalize. She might look like a 9 for now, but she acts like a 4
6 11 9 12 14 and 19 for my ex.
Well shit. It looks like I'm dating a slut.
This might not get seen by many, but I'm writing it for those of you who have stumbled in here from some other thread on reddit, convinced we are crazy, but this post reads like your relationship, or the girl you have a crush on. That feeling in the pit of your stomach is happening, and you want to hamster it away- don't.
You'll see "the wall" mentioned a lot on the sub. The wall occurs when a girl can no longer show up to a bar and hook an alpha. Alphas are too busy going home with the younger women and don't even see these pre-wall girls. The wall, though, is a longer process than is often described here, and I want to talk about that so the beta readers can understand what's going on.
A girl described above with start to understand that she can longer fuck whoever she wants. Gasp! It's come so easy for so long, there are so many betas lined up, she hasn't had to work for a thing for quite a while. What has she done in the meantime? Worked on getting fat and watching netflix. Zero personal development. I'm in my late 20s and have seen this process dozens of times. The girl will now begin moving through orbiters. This isn't a quick transition into married life, but a longer process of "I want to settle down" and "I'm tired of all the drama". Guess the fuck what?
Your stability and income will not turn the whore into a housewife. Don't give these chicks the time of day, lest you end up in the wake of destroyed, broke betas.
Waiting for this to be stickied. Well formatted and informative.
very relatable, and some great information
I do dramatic readings of this to my friends, it always gets a great laugh. Thanks for posting OP!
Most of these match my current LTR with my now gf. Maybe except 5 of them. Should I be worried?
Holyshit, I thought you were discribeing my ex-girlfriend for a moment. (I discovered TRP today, so it kinda blows my mind)
Damn it, this just describes my ex in nearly every point
Man. I used to be a fucking idiot. This list describes my ex to the T.
Aside from the abortion part (as far as I know) this is my ex verbatim...
shit this open my eyes. I think I'm dating a slut when I already knew that but this just confirms it.
This describes my old roommate perfectly! She didn't have any friends that were girls and she couldn't figure out why. She said "I don't know why but girls don't seem to like me." Maybe because you're flirting with all their boyfriends??? She would literally only hang out with guys and would flirt with every single one. And when we'd hang out with our neighbor she would always spoon with him on the couch. All while she had a boyfriend. And when one guy would get tired of her BS, she would find another.
These basically describe my last two relationships, particularly my marriage. You sure we didn't marry the same whore?
spot on.1..2..4..5..7..9..10..11..12..16..18..19 i suggest two more
20 - Cries on the smallest of things..(using tears to get her way..) 21 - Has a "GUY BEST FRIEND" to fall back on when things get tough and no.20 fails..
i was with a slut..who also was a control freak..wanted to go on a different date everyday..(but offcourse she couldnt say it coz it would tarnish her image..) as guys were giving her attention and it wasnt her problem...needed an xcuse to wear sleazy clothes..and made a scene out it if i shaved my beard..lol ("i was trying to look attractive to other women..."and that was her xcuse..coz i "cheated" first). then she wud make up garbage about me being disloyal and she was gettin back at me..and one of her MORALLY CORRECT friends molested her... guess wat even that was blamed on me..that was it for me..i was looking for a woman to live my life out with..be the mother of my kids..grow old and die...its like knowing how to play chess and believing yourself to be a checkers master..i didn't have a clue back then..i was total romantic loser..who thought he had found THE ONE.. ohh well shit happens..dumped her..told her exactly why i was dumping her..and she as like.."ill do xactly what u want from now on" for the 1000th time..i picked myself up and never looked back...she's some1 else's prob now..
I have a question and I skimmed through and couldn't tell if it was answered in the comments.
Is it possible to really find a girl without a single one of these traits? Most of these remind me of multiple girls but I only know a few that are defined by them or carry most of them.
What do you do when you're trying to evaluate your LTR and you inevitably see some of these traits but not all of them?
Sadly, I feel #5 & #6 are lead ins to the rest. I wonder how many women (and men) who could have been something great had it not been for their shit parents or some asshole they crossed paths with in their very young years.
Ex-wife was 9 for 19. Never saw the signs, never had a doubt. Bluepillers just don't want to know...
No. 17 is pretty weird and offensive even.
I'm having difficulty finding anybody who fits this value set. Where should I look?
This was me exactly, right down to the cheating at 3 months. Absolutely spot on with the 'tells' list. Gentlemen, heed this post, I paid almost 7 figures to learn what OP so generously outlined for us. Truly a woman is a terrible waste of human.
Yikes. That's almost exactly my ex-gf to a T. If she didn't pull some crazy girl shit over a family and friends vacation, I might still be blinded by the pussy. Glad I got out when I did. My condolences OP.
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While some of this list is nonsense, there are some qualities listed here that I think would register red flags for myself, regardless of whether or not that makes them promiscuous. For example, not committing to the relationship, poor impulse control, being shit with money, cheating and lying aren't exactly winning attributes.
Our friend here wants to pass on some life experience to those who may not be aware of what they're getting into. I'm curious why you decided to blanket statement the entirety of it and the sub instead of pointing out which ones you do not agree with.
But sure, we're just delusional.
Eh. Don't think I can agree with all of these.
Considering how the rest of the thread is 'omg so true', 'sidebar material'. In would be interesting to hear another opinion on it.
I don't think you can say a girl's a slut because she approaches you or is more social than you. That seems kinda stupid.
A lot of the tomboys I know aren't sluts. Most of them are that way because they spent a lot of time with their fathers so that's how they turned out.
She can't help it if people hit on her. Now if she goes along with it and never brings you up, that's another story.
The drinking thing, maybe it's the culture I grew up with, because drinking is something everyone does here, but I don't think they necessarily makes her a slut, but the people I know are different than the people most TRP members know.
Smoking doesn't seem like a big deal to me.
Gay friends? Shit, I have gay friends. They're funny ass people, they're not completely devoid of logic, some do have morals and won't be supportive of their friend sucking dick in the bathroom.
The rest of the things are mostly just signs of her being stupid and irresponsible, which have a side effect of her being a slut.
I don't know if I could have worded that as well as you did, but I agree with every point in there.
Now, if she goes out to parties/gets shit faced, she's a slut, but drinking in and of itself doesn't make her a slut.
Interesting, I am yet to meet a tomboy that doesn't sleep around.
I agree the list is more about what makes women irresponsible but, being a slut is irresponsible so than might be what is generating the overlap.
Great list, I'd add one of my own:
She likes to watch porn and will invite you to watch it with her. If a guy invites his girlfriend to watch porn, it's one thing, he might has erection issues, find out what she likes in sex, whatever. But a girl right off the bat invites her ONS/boyfriend to watch porn or admit to liking it, HUGE red flag.
Some years ago a plate and I got a room to get together and when we got in, she got the remote and turned on the tv, pretended to browse the channels and immediately put the porn channel on, asked me if I wanted to see that. I told her to change channels from that shit immediately, she did so and hamstered away and she said she thought I would like it (yeah right, I believe I had told her before I couldn't stand porn). Turns out she is a huge slut and a sex addict and was trying to get pregnant. Our fling didn't last two months before I kicked her to the curb, I was pretty sure she was trying to get pregnant of me.
So yeah fellas, if your woman likes to watch other people fucking on tv = slut red flag.
I would add bisexuality to this list. My ex was all you describe, plus bisexual. That could be more to do with her Borderline Personality Disorder, but for me it's now a red flag.
I would like to say "no offense", but its impossible: To put it mildly, you were a fool. You probably still are. I hope for your own sake you take some time to reflect on how to never be one ever again, perhaps do some reading and put your brain to use from now on. Your wife didn't just exhibit a pattern, she was screaming "I M A SLOOT" in your face. Man you need to save yourself from yourself, how could you ever even think to marry this woman?
Justbrowsingstuff has written some good advice for you. heed it, and learn to trust your bros, not hoes.
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I'm pretty sure no one is asking for pussypass: WE, society as a whole, we feel sorry for victims, and giving them pussypass, and over looking they bad behavior. OP did the same thing.
I agree with you, this is a dodgy point, but let's just be honest for a second, if a girl sadly has this point, i'm pretty sure she already gathered few others as well.
Danger will anderson danger!!
My LTR is zero of these! :)
Except sometimes people hit on her when we are out, but she knows what will happen if she plays along with it. She's not playing that game.
Yeah, because we all know that women are so honest and forthcoming.
Congrats if it's true, but you sound a little too sure.
Hey, women approach alpha, but alpha is alpha, not a pussy!
Follow my advice: approach only virgins. When in doubt about virginity, don't approach.
My wife avoids every single point except the job, she only has a part time job but that's not much of an issue and she's a great mother. Looking at the list I wonder how many of the points get removed automatically if the girl doesn't drink. My wife doesn't and it's awesome, highly recommended.
Good luck finding a much better woman next time buddy.
I don't know why you are here then......
Sorry guy, I'm with you for most of this list but not (12) or (17).
We don't date sluts... we fuck em!
most of your reasons are just bitterness. some are valid like having sex on the first date and highly sociable.
6. She was molested in her youth. This is no joking matter, and nothing to goad about. But still, experience and various statistics show that a negative and inappropriate sexual history in her teens is a solid precursor for a problematic sexuality in the present. After learning about this point, I totally went "white knight" and tried to hamster her behavior and make it fine. Fellow men, remember this: You can feel sorry for a woman and sympathize with her but you DON'T have to be with her. It doesn't make you a bad person. Everybody have issues and a fucked up history, the real test is how we scratch our way out of the hole and become adults. Most hardcore criminals in prison have a messed up upbringing. Do they get a pussy pass? No.
Can confirm. In jail we call this "Empathy vs. Sympathy." You can have Empathy for someone's position, knowing that it must be difficult to live that life. You aren't to develop sympathy though. Sympathy is relating, and if you can relate to a criminal, you have a problem.
Sounds like you're just a bitch who couldn't make her happy. Sorry bro. And FYI, just bc a girl does these things doesn't make her a slut. Deal with your anger and self pity better next time.
13, seriously who hasn't cheated in a relationship before... The ones who say they haven't are lieing.
Most American women have more than one of these.
Damn, tell us how you really feel...
13, seriously who hasn't cheated in a relationship before... The ones who say they haven't are lieing.
I never got married, not even to my baby mom .. but ... I saw all the signs, I aknowledged them, knew it was bad from the get go, & caught feelings anyway. I wanted to LTR, move this chick in with me. Party girl slut. So glad it didnt happen, it's a blessing in disguise. But the whole scenario didnt mind fuck me any less even with the hindsight.
Lots of side bar reading, analyzing, & some implemenation brings me to these conclusions. Had I of had TRP to consult, & reference over the last 6-7 months, I would be in a much better place.