No Oral Sex in Marriage

rocknrollchuck · 2020-09-27T18:45:01+00:00

Unlocked now that stats have been added.

rocknrollchuck · 2020-09-27T22:41:36+00:00

I made it clear when we were dating that oral was non-negotiable for me. She had never done it but was willing to learn. I took it slowly, and after about 30 days of being married I guided her to start and began to teach her what I like.

Stoney made a comment once that oral for women is a mate retention strategy. If she's not worried about other women finding you attractive then it's unlikely she will have incentive to start now. So how attractive are you? Do you lift? Do other women hit on you, show interest, give you their numbers? If not, lifting is the first step. See the post on the Sidebar.

In the meantime, as you work on developing yourself into a more attractive man, focus on variety in the bedroom. Try things you never have before. Use your mouth on her, gradually (over the next few months) working your way up to giving her oral. Make sure she's extremely aroused the first time you go for it. You may get shot down, but try to at least get one lick in. Read MMSLP if you haven't already.

OlderSon777 · 2020-09-27T01:00:35+00:00

I think i can say it

Rule no. 2 - Stats

You are missing them. Go read the sidebar for now.

Proper_Screen · 2020-09-27T20:20:59+00:00

Do you know *why* she doesn't want to give you oral sex? Past sexual trauma? She hates the taste of penis? She thinks it's too dirty? She thinks it's degrading? Religious objection? And how does she react if you want to give her oral sex? All that might be worth exploring. Not necessarily so you can eventually get some head, but at least to have a better understanding of her sexuality. Seems to me like that is Step 1.

Remember, like you said, you're both still learning.

amergent · 2020-10-11T20:00:55+00:00

This was a conversation you two should have had before you were wed.

Trent2270 · 2020-09-29T10:38:33+00:00

Challenge here is you already said you were ok with no oral. You were so thirsty for ANY sex that you lied to her and said you didn't need oral. Bull.

Every married man should be receiving oral sex, for several reasons. It's affirming of her respect for you, it's a strong disincentive for cheating, it will get you through some rough patches where intercourse is unavailable, and last but not least, it is the most powerful way for a woman to show gratitude for her man's sacrifice to his family.

Here's your game plan. Level with her. Explain that you always wanted oral, in fact every man ever does. Fess up that you told a white lie because you didn't want her to freak, and frankly you both were young and uncomfortable with your sexuality. Now you're adults, and its time to put away childish things. And being afraid of a penis is childish.

Once you've leveled and made your desires known, ask her to, when she's ready, do some caressing and kissing during foreplay. Leave it alone for awhile, but keep your junk always smelling fresh and showered, shave your balls and undercarriage and trim your pubes.

When she's been doing that for awhile, ask her to take you in her mouth. Praise her at every step by letting her know how amazing she is in the sack, etc. She probably has baggage you need to overcome.

Eventually, you might get to the point she is comfortable with you finishing in her mouth. You might not. Do NOT lead with this...

If you had it to do all over, the better route would have been explaining from the jump that all men want blowjobs and most flat out require it (including you). But you got yourself into this mess, so you need to, slowly, work your way out.

Last bit of free advice... if none of this works, be very cautious about having kids. She may be using you as a sperm donor, and after that you'll be over at #deadbedrooms.

SkimTheDross · 2020-09-27T01:11:10+00:00

Rule 2 violation. Comments are locked until OP edits his post with stats.

Interesting_Savings4 · 2020-10-17T02:35:36+00:00

Hi. I'm late to the party and a woman, so kick me out if you wish. I was poking around RPChristians because I am a Christian wife who's husband has asked to submit to him... just seeing what that means to other men. So, in my poking around, I came across this post. I wonder if I might add to the discussion?

Your wife has gone through something traumatic that is preventing her from doing this. There is no question. No matter what she says, and no matter how much she tries to deny it to you, she has. Slowly work with her. Have her go down there for 2 seconds for a kiss one night, and then have her put it in her mouth for 5 seconds another night, etc. She needs to be in total control with your firm and loving direction. It'll work out, but you need to be honest and very s.l.o.w. Good luck.

NotCommericalBKeeper · 2020-10-10T01:00:45+00:00

As someone who has never dated a girl or been married I can offer no help to you!

GeorgeTheChristian · 2020-09-30T23:53:50+00:00

You don’t have to tell us your stats.

The_Unwavering · 2020-10-09T03:37:34+00:00

I know you have received much advice already from your different posts but let me offer you some information you may or may not have gotten yet. Oral sex is a sin. I state that because there are multiple testimonies from people that have been to heaven and hell stating those that practice oral sex, anal sex and acquire external accessories to "spice their marriage bed" (even knowledge) end up there because God sees it as a defilement of the marital bed. If you'd like to review some of the testimonies so you can make up your own mind just let me know.

ElUltimoLeon · 2020-09-27T01:00:05+00:00

Do you watch porn?

Title	No Oral Sex in Marriage
Author	wildhusband2019
Upvotes	19
Comments	29
Date	September 27, 2020 12:46 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RPChristians
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RPChristians/comments/j0hia9/no_oral_sex_in_marriage/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RPChristians/no-oral-sex-in-marriage.268436 https://theredarchive.com/post/268436