Q4M: Do You have sisters?

darksoldierk · 2017-01-03T05:34:05+00:00

I lean towards red, but I don't agree with all of their viewpoints. I have one sister.

I held women up on a pedestal until my mid 20's. If anything, having a sister contributed to that. I remember when I was a child, my parents punished me in situations where my sister was the one who started hitting me and I started hitting back only after asking her to stop. I remember one time, my sister lost her mind and started hitting me with a book. My mother was sitting right there, she saw me getting ready to pull the book out of her hand and hit her back with it, but instead I sat on the couch, curled up in fetal position and tried to protect my head (it was a hard cover textbook). My sister continued hitting me. Afterwards, my mother said to me "I'm proud of you for not getting aggressive. It's good that you just took the beating, it showed your sister that you loved her too much to hit her back". I remember my mother telling me things like "hey, go pick up your sister from work. She's a woman, you need to protect her and look out for her". I remember being punished and yelled at for not writing my sister's essays for her English classes. Or for not helping her study for her math exams. She was older and I often felt overwhelmed at the level of the work, yet somehow, I was still expected to learn her material and teach her. I remember being punished for treating my sister the same way she treated me and being told "you can't treat girls the same way you treat boys, and you can't treat girls the same way they treat you. You need to treat them differently". I remember getting in trouble for not helping my sister get ready for her prom. I was 14 years old, I didn't know how to iron dresses or straighten women's hair.

I was given the responsibility of doing everything that I can to make my sister's life easier, and when I didn't, I was given the "i'm disappointing in you" speech, or I was yelled at, grounded, or, when I was much younger, beaten. All of these punishments were handed out by my mother.

DashneDK2 · 2017-01-03T05:27:50+00:00

I have two sisters. A younger and an older. Sisters (& daughters) occupy a special place in your mind, separate from the rest of females (except for gross incest redditos of course, who insist on sexualising sibling relationships). I do think having siblings is a very important part of socialising children though.

DrunkGirl69 · 2017-01-03T14:36:09+00:00

I had 2 sisters growing up. One older, one younger.

My theory is that men who were able to make it to adulthood still holding young women up on a pedestal are less likely to have grown up with some in their house.

Disagree with that theory as it's not borne out in my experience. What keeps men from putting women on a pedestal is being taught not to put them up there and to take them down.

Boys who grew up with sisters in the 70s and 80s were taught

to treat girls with kid gloves,

to defer and supplicate to them

that girls are wonderful

that girls never ever do anything wrong

that girls never lie

that in a dispute between a boy and a girl, the girl is always right and the boy is always wrong

that you must give the girl whatever she wants, when she wants it

Among other things.

This is why I imagine that guys with sisters might have an advantage with women.

Wrong. Guys with BROTHERS have an advantage with women. Guys with brothers learn how to be men. Guys with sisters learn how to be girls with penises. Guys with sisters are told they are "defective girls".

You're 100% off base on this. Just totally wrong.

exit_sandman · 2017-01-03T12:31:04+00:00

My theory is that men who were able to make it to adulthood still holding young women up on a pedestal are less likely to have grown up with some in their house.

You're not wrong on principle, but it might also work to your detriment.

For example if the women in your family are de facto-feminists and indoctrinate you with their gynocentric values and faulty perceptions (this happened to a friend of mine who had a lot of dating potential otherwise); or if you're the only boy among several sisters and their collective presence exert a feminizing influence on your personal development.

But otherwise, well, it may help.

disposable_pants · 2017-01-03T10:17:43+00:00

Red, one sister who's a few years older. I've thought about it a bit, but I can't come up with any way she may have influenced my beliefs.

This is an interesting idea. I think the "treat her like she's your kid sister" advice is useful as a general concept (you give her some crap, you don't rush to coddle her if she's having a little bit of trouble, it's all good-natured, etc.), but it has to be balanced with the ideas of polarization (let her know early on that you're interested in her as more than just friends) and escalation (put yourself in a position to make a move and then make one). Because you don't get any experience with the latter two ideas with a sibling, "treat her like she's your kid sister" is only applicable to the platonic parts of conversation. Plenty of guys who struggle to get laid can hold decent platonic conversations with women; the real sticking point is how to move from platonic to sexual.

speed3_freak · 2017-01-03T06:04:19+00:00

Mostly red, one younger sister. We both learned more from our parents than we did from each other. Dad worked and mom stayed home until we were all out of highschool. My sister married a man who was raised mostly by his mom, sister, and grandmother who lived next door. He grew up being told what to do by women, and my sister is very assertive. If my parents hadn't raised her she probably would be the type of woman that TRP rails against. As it is, she thinks marriage should be a partnership, but the man should be the ultimate decision maker. She makes 99% of the decisions, but if he disagrees with her then they do it his way. Because of the way he is, he has to REALLY disagree with her about something before he'll say something. He's very much a 'yes dear' kind of guy.

[deleted] · 2017-01-03T11:33:36+00:00

No sisters but I always looked up to my mum the most because of her accomplishments and also just because she is a tough strong headed person.

However it became clear pretty quickly most women (and most people in general really) are nowhere near as awesome as my mum so I never really put women on a pedestal after the age of 16 or so.

Plus my mum wasn't exactly all perfect and cuddly and nice anyway, in fact quite the opposite she was very strict and had no time for feelsy shit, so I had no reason to believe all women would be like that based on my family.

I do think there is credence to the idea that we base our expectations of how we expect people to act on our families though. After all growing up we spend most of our time with them and look up to them.

drok007 · 2017-01-03T05:12:57+00:00

Only child, my n-count is similar to yours. You can call me an outlier. I'm too awesome to be part of your theory anyway.

Eastuss · 2017-01-03T11:00:16+00:00

Grew up with a sister constantly repeating that women are perfect, beautiful and are always right, while men are hideous animals. Even if I never believed her to be serious, it still brain washed me in the long run.

[deleted] · 2017-01-03T18:45:48+00:00

I grew up with 2 older sisters who banded together against me in every dispute to make sure I was the only one who ever got in trouble even if something wasn't my fault.

Till this day I still kind of hate them.

I love them cuz they're my sisters... but I still kind of hate them.

Tutankhansetamun · 2017-01-03T21:04:33+00:00

Blue pill, two older sisters, average success with dating and whatnot.

I guess this throws a wrench in the machine, but my sisters (and my mother, actually) were very misogynistic. I grew up hearing that women were stupid, women were good-for-nothing, women belonged in the kitchen and not in the field, etc. I grew up with what I believe is called a "Madonna/Whore complex", and it's taken years to tone it down.

I'm not sure what exactly the opposite of putting women on a pedestal is, but that's been my life for quite some years.

cxj · 2017-01-03T06:37:13+00:00

1 younger sister. Love her to death, she still confirms many redpill ideas.

Smashed much pussy when younger, in an ltr right now

bonerdude420 · 2017-01-03T05:23:55+00:00

Purple. Have a sister 4 years older than me who was the typical hot girl stereotype. She was a pain to live with, but I don't think she fits the red pill narative.

I was a late bloomer/awkward in highschool but successful with girls in adulthood.

Candy_Kittens · 2017-01-03T08:16:06+00:00

One sister.

She has anger issues like my mum.

Unsure how it affected me.

Bjoolean · 2017-01-03T17:58:27+00:00

I grew up with 2 older sisters and it has helped me in the sense, I think, that I have an easier time socializing with women and therefore I have gotten quite a few female friends.

It hasn't helped my "success" with women though, but that's probably because my social abilities are overshadowed by my passiveness and my (lack of) height.

InformalCriticism · 2017-01-03T11:42:02+00:00

Older sister. Not sure it had any bearing one what I believed or now believe, though I see her through a different lens, now.

BPremium · 2017-01-03T12:28:43+00:00

no sisters, red pull leaning.

It probably hindered me a bit not having sisters. Not as badly as having a Chad brother though. that sucks lol

[deleted] · 2017-01-03T17:52:44+00:00

3

No, oldest was a cock blocker actually.

Buying cans of tuna dont make you a better fisherman

ppdthrowawai · 2017-01-03T13:55:32+00:00

Have a sister but she is too young. I was already living away and fairly successful with women before her formative years.

She was raised mostly by men though and turned out pretty damn based AF in a works hard and makes fun of whiny liberals and feminists kind of way. I'm pretty proud because I had nothing to do with that.

daveofmars · 2017-01-03T14:54:45+00:00

I had a sister growing up, but my situation was a little different. Parents divorced when I was 10 and I moved out at 16. I think the kid sister's influence was offset by a single, neurotic mom.

JF803 · 2017-01-03T15:08:55+00:00

I lean towards red, except that I absolutely just love the feminine spirit however I don't pedestalize women at all, grew up with 4 sisters and a military dad who was always gone for long periods, sometimes up to a year, at a time. I have a great relationship with all my sisters and my mom and I do very well with women, in fact I am more comfortable around women than men.

wtknight · 2017-01-03T15:28:35+00:00

I don't identify as a Pill. I do not have sisters. I do think it had some effect on my lack of success with women when I was younger because I tended to both pedestalize and to not understand women as people as a result. As I got into my early 20's and matured, I had better romantic success. So anyway, I think your assertion does apply to my personal case.

DrunkGirl69 · 2017-01-03T16:32:47+00:00

I am a black pill: It's all about genetics.

I have two sisters, one is the same age as me at 20, one is soon to be 14.

I have zero success with women.

jim234234red · 2017-01-03T12:41:21+00:00

I have only brothers.

I do have a theory that men with only brothers would tend to be more TRP as they would have been more likely to pedastalize women before being burned and ending up bitter, as I myself was originally.

Similarly, I'd guess that a higher percentage of women with only sisters end up swallowing the militant feminism pill and / or more likely to hate or consider men to be toxic due to the lack of brothers.

In either case, it seems, anecdotally at least, that men and women with siblings of different gender might empathize and correctly interpret the other gender based on childhood experiences.

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Title	Q4M: Do You have sisters?
Author	DrunkGirl69
Upvotes	12
Comments	187
Date	January 3, 2017 5:07 AM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/5lq37o/q4m_do_you_have_sisters/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/q4m-do-you-have-sisters.270868 https://theredarchive.com/post/270868