Are intelligence and a sense of humor actually attractive, or are people just saying that to sound like good people

BiggerDthanYou · 2016-09-24T00:12:13+00:00

The absence of them is sexually unattractive.

Atlas_B_Shruggin · 2016-09-24T03:14:56+00:00

When nerds hear "intelligence" they think it means their boring STEM iq. This is NEVER what women mean. They mean quick witted, good problem solver and occasionally well read and cultured

shoup88 · 2016-09-24T05:24:22+00:00

Physical attraction is obviously a prerequisite to finding these other things sexually attractive as well. For me personally, social intelligence and sense of humour won't make an ugly guy attractive, but lack of this qualities can make a good-looking guy unattractive.

I've known many good-looking guys who don't know how to read a room. They speak too loudly, jokes aren't funny, stretch out topics too long. It makes me feel sorry for them, which will immediately make me lose attraction. If I cringe listening to you in public, I won't be able to shake that feeling in private.

So in my case at least, saying these things are sexually attractive isn't a lie, but it's not the fully story either.

wombatinaburrow · 2016-09-24T08:55:41+00:00

I've found it to be a "came for the X, stayed for the Y" scenario, tbh. To get a foot in the door, you need to be reasonably approachable and presentable.

crowbird_ · 2016-09-24T11:12:17+00:00

Yes, they are, sense of humor in particular. Many of my best memories with exes and other women come from laughing at something with them. Shared laughter is one of the best ways to bond with someone and for that to happen there need to be compatible senses of humor.

Intelligence is not quite as important as long as there is a sufficient amount of it to allow for fulfilling discussion on various topics. For me, lack of intelligence and no sense of humor/incompatible sense of humor are two of the biggest turnoffs in women when it comes to personality.

[deleted] · 2016-09-24T08:35:46+00:00

Making a girl laugh definitely seems to make her more attracted to me and a girl who can make me laugh is definitely more attractive to me as well. That's all I can say.

SkentyDooBabble · 2016-09-24T00:03:35+00:00

You need to distinguish between "attractive traits," and "good traits for a partner."

Calling both of those "attractive" leads to confusion.

squarehead93 · 2016-09-24T13:02:46+00:00

Women are into intelligence, but the great irony is that in women's terms, Chad is more intelligent than a borderline autistic STEM nerd, Chad is cool, social, able to negotiate the world around him effectively and generally gets shit done. STEM nerd is clumsy, awkward, incompetent and the only thing he has are his grades and extracurricular programming languages he self-taught.

ProbablyBelievesIt · 2016-09-24T01:01:41+00:00

Because it really makes me sound like a good person when my girlfriend jokes about being a serial rapist, or all the fun things she could do with the bacteria she's studying.

I'm more worried about someone here actually taking it all literally.

MisgenderedCactus · 2016-09-24T01:03:10+00:00

Humor: I like making people, especially those I care about, laugh. It's good to know I can make their day a bit funnier, albeit temporarily. I also prefer being around people who are witty, can make puns, aren't afraid to engage in banter, and share a similar sense of humor to myself. Makes it easier to create lasting relationships if you aren't always walking on eggshells and needing to remain politically correct all the time. So yes, sense of humor is in my top 5 traits to look for in a mate.

Height is something I don't give a damn about, so long as you're not under 4 feet tall. I'm 5'7", and have found men who are 5' 2" just as attractive as a guy who is 6'.

Intelligence is also in my top 5 traits. I don't need anyone to be a verified genius or even have a college degree, but I am much more attracted to those who are on a similar intellectual level and have a desire to keep learning and reading all their lives.

Entropy-7 · 2016-09-24T06:04:45+00:00

In high school I ended up second in my class. I had a crush on this girl my sophmore/Jr year, not a major one, but more than the others, and she's the one that ended up 1st. During my jr./sr. year I had a major crush on this girl a year below me who I later found out had a 4.0 GPA. My first year of college I had a huge crush on this girl who had SAT scores within 30 points of me (not great scores, but 93rd percentile). My most recent crush went to a top 30 school, US, and completed a professional degree. All but the last I found out after the fact, after I had a major crush on them.

I'm just saying that I sure seem to develop feelings for those that it can be reasonably assumed are in the top 10% of intelligence for the population. It's difficult for me to imagine ending up with someone who isn't thereabouts

I subscribe pretty heavily to TRP, but this is one area that doesn't seem to get hit upon. I can 100% certain say, if I had the choice, I'd pick a 6 with a 9/10 intelligence over a 9 with average intelligence. A 5 or 4, probably not

bootsandtoots · 2016-09-24T12:26:18+00:00

Dumb people are not impressed by intelligence. In fact they might see an intelligent person as ridiculous or dumb. This goes both way. People like excitement, whether that is being funny the life of a part joke cracker or bad boy adventure person who does what he wants

[deleted] · 2016-09-24T15:26:37+00:00

I'm not intimidated by smart women, it's just that they never shut up about their smarts. They're arrogant and annoying to be around. They act like the women on sitcoms with the dumb pudgy husband / smart hot wife. TV programming: at least they named it right.

Also, most hot women don't give a shit about being smart. They don't need to. They're hot and they will find some man to pay their bills and take care of them. Most smart women are ugly, fat, or have some other defect. They can't get a man to take care of them so they study and work hard.

Hot and submissive. That's how most men like em. Give a man the choice between a hot, submissive 20 year old or a "smart" frumpy 20 year old... I mean c'mon, it's not even a choice.

ProbablyBelievesIt · 2016-09-24T00:43:59+00:00

Intelligence in not sexually attractive in either men or women. Nobody fucks anyone for being "smart".

However, some people who are intellectuals might find intelligent people alluring (not in a sexual way necessarily)

A sense of humor can make a person charming and can be attractive, but then again perhaps not sexually attractive.

SkentyDooBabble · 2016-09-24T00:29:00+00:00

It's value signaling https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Signaling_game#Biology

Girls will laugh at an unfunny handsome guy. Likewise, an intelligent but ugly guy trying to explain some topic a girl is emotionally invested in will get called stupid. Physical attraction comes first, every other thing someone is 'attracted to' gets explained after the fact. We come up with our reasoning for making decisions after the decision.

http://people.virginia.edu/~tdw/nisbett&wilson.pdf

https://deepblue.lib.umich.edu/bitstream/handle/2027.42/92158/TheHaloEffect.pdf

SkentyDooBabble · 2016-09-24T00:02:27+00:00

"Intimidated by smart women" -- read that as "believe it is likely that a woman who is smarter than him will not let him lead."

Many men might express this in a cruder, simpler way such as "smart women are bitchy." etc

despisedlove2 · 2016-09-24T00:23:53+00:00

I can't answer for others, but if there is one terrible weakness that I have regarding women, it is smart, well educated women.

Induced me to make the biggest mistake of my life.

voteGOPk · 2016-09-24T02:51:19+00:00

the amount dumbfuck turds I see with pretty women tells me no...

But TBP tbh has made me change my view somewhat,

the guys I see may seem dumb and irascible TO ME, but might not be to their gf/wife.

Entropy-7 · 2016-09-24T14:39:06+00:00

What do I notice first about a woman? It depends on the woman.

The one interesting thing about the study is that there appears to be no control for the general attractiveness of the women (SMV) against the difference in their actual or claimed intelligence. And there is no accounting for personality. When I was at law school, at any given time there would have been close to a hundred intelligent women enrolled at any given point. I never hit on a single one because they were either physically unattractive or else had a prophylactic personality.

Abject stupidity is a turn off as would be a 4' midget, but otherwise I don't find intelligence or height particularly attractive nor intimidating. I've dated 5' tall business executives and 6'3" actresses and various combinations.

Sense of humour is can be very subjective. When someone (especially a woman) says they like someone with a sense of humour, what they mean is that they like people with the same sense of humour. Roosh V also uses the term "clown game" to describe using primarily entertainment value to hold a girl's interest. That includes cracking jokes or making witty comments to make them laugh as well deploying silly little skills like origami or palm reading to keep their attention.

questioningwoman · 2016-09-24T01:40:16+00:00

If intelligence is so important to women in attraction, why aren't they all fawning over Sheldon Cooper? Or the MIT STEM graduates or physics majors in general?

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anitapk · 2016-09-24T06:27:28+00:00

My so is smart and intelligent; these are amazing qualities in him and I love how sometimes he explains things he does on his job (IT) or whatever he just read about. He's am encyclopedia!

However what attracted me to him were his looks and just how gunny he is, in a smart and stupid way.

So intelligence seals the deal after looks and humour (along with quick thinking and social intelligence) attracted me.

Transmigratory · 2016-09-24T20:40:07+00:00

Intelligence and humour are attractive traits only if the person is already conventionally attractive.

Why some like to lie to themselves that were are substitutes for physical attraction, I dunno.

disposable_pants · 2016-09-25T03:38:52+00:00

Intelligence and humor are not attractive. Here's how you know:

Physically ugly people who are smart and funny don't get laid often; the sexual marketplace has deemed them unattractive.
Physically ugly people who are neither smart nor funny don't get laid often; the sexual marketplace has deemed them unattractive.
Physically appealing people who are smart and funny do get laid often; the sexual marketplace has deemed them attractive.
Physically appealing people who are neither smart nor funny also get laid quite often; the sexual marketplace has deemed them attractive.

Intelligence and humor aren't attractive. Physically appealing people who are smart and funny are attractive.

trail22 · 2016-09-25T03:57:30+00:00

Ask any comedian, women don't want funny guys.

the_calibre_cat · 2016-09-26T02:35:30+00:00

Eh, a little from column a, a little from column b...

littleeggwyf · 2016-09-26T06:58:41+00:00

I don't think that they are sexy on their own, but when I was looking for a LTR I would want them to be compatible, like you need subjects you both enjoy talking about and humour that you both enjoy.

Good intelligence, charm and culture are things a partner should have for me, though!

breakfasttopiates · 2016-09-26T19:14:19+00:00

I'm tied up but I wouldn't mind a tall woman at all even taller than me (6'1).

A tall beautiful queen goddess that makes wakes and pushes small little men aside. Wow, sounds impressive.

ComicSys · 2016-09-28T17:29:46+00:00

Honestly, I've dated a few people that I wasn't necessarily physically attracted to (I'm a guy). I found that I was won over by their humor and outspoken ways. I don't need high maintenance. I've never been one for these online articles, because most of them are really just opinions. The thing about any person is that their individual thoughts are really what drive them to what attracts them. Although society or social intelligence may be a thing, not everyone prescribes to it. Also, I'm assuming that you've never seen a low maintenance asian/middle eastern woman in a college hoodie, baseball hat, and yoga pants, or an office outfit. Low maintenance can be really attractive.

LimitedContributor · 2016-10-30T16:25:55+00:00

Not the full percentage to me. It depends on her voice. I like average intelligence. It lets me know she's effortlessly trying, possibly mentally ill and that's cute and sexy to me. I don't want her to know ever version of a specific word. I want her to say words she's mysteriously used to using and knows that fits her voice tune. It gives me that sudden sense that the specific words she uses are exclusive to her personality. Man, I miss girls during my youthful era. That version of intelligence I live for is a rarity to me now.

If not the right voice, intelligent females just come off as business women, always serious. As they speak, I wouldn't want to hear it. Their quotes would be tedious to sit through.

YouDislikeMyOpinion · 2016-09-24T01:01:05+00:00

It can be the difference between a green and red light. If I'm always laughing around a girl and feel great, it's a plus. But maybe once a week max. I can't do that 24/7.

Title	Are intelligence and a sense of humor actually attractive, or are people just saying that to sound like good people
Author	Five_Decades
Upvotes	5
Comments	134
Date	September 23, 2016 11:54 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/547qig/are_intelligence_and_a_sense_of_humor_actually/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/are-intelligence-and-a-sense-of-humor-actually.272800 https://theredarchive.com/post/272800