Q4BP: Why do you think it is only a small sub set of women that TRP applies to?

AmericanHistoryAFBB · 2016-06-15T07:24:11+00:00

The vast majority of people want to date attractive, confident people who have boundaries. Some women are attracted to men who are emotionally withdrawn. Some women will upgrade to a better man the moment the opportunity presents itself. Some women thrive on the drama that dread offers. How many women fall into the latter category? I think the better question is: regardless of them being the rule or the exception, do you want to date them?

siqariqim · 2016-06-15T14:59:49+00:00

First off, the red pill did not invent the concepts of confidence and fitness, nor can it claim to have a monopoly on advice to that end. "Get in shape" and "project confidence" and "be the best version of yourself" are so universally prescribed as to be cliche.

And when it comes to women, our brains work in such a way that we generalize people based on our encounters, and the sorts of people we encounter are generally limited by our lifestyles. For example, let's say I'm a 25-year-old single guy and I'm on tinder looking for 22 to 26-year-old women to date. I have already limited the scope of women I'm likely to encounter, as the majority even of 22 to 26-year-old women are not on tinder. Indeed, apps like tinder attract a certain kind of person, someone who's single and open to casual dating and/or hookups... and I'm further limited in my interactions to women in my immediate area who find my pictures attractive enough or my profile intriguing enough to swipe right. And an even smaller subset of those women will actually want to meet me. So even if I'm a smokin' hot tinder legend I've still only figured out how to attract a subset of a subset of available women. My tinderin' skills will have limited value if I'm trying to meet women in a class, or in church, or on a hiking excursion, or who aren't open to casual dating.

So I can make all the generalizations in the world based on the dates I do have, but it would be foolish of me to assume those assumptions hold water for fully 50% of the human population. It is much more likely that I am only attracting women with certain lifestyles and traits in common than that every woman is necessarily "like that." And if I were to give my buddy dating advice, I'd be telling him how to find and attract those same girls. Its a self-perpetuating cycle. My advice has limited usefulness outside of that tinder/dating app ecosystem. But the more of my buddies I advise, and the more of their buddies they advise, the more true and universal my advice seems to become. We're all still only dealing with a very small percentage of the female population, but since we've found a system that works and gets us dates with them we're not trying to expand our horizons. For now, we don't need to. But where problems start to arise is when our assumptions about women, based on our tinder dates, start to color other areas of our lives. If we try to extrapolate our insights about tinder girls onto other women... our friends, family, coworkers... we're going to find ourselves looking foolish, shortsighted, and, yes, sexist.

To put it another way, it would be like drawing conclusions about college students as a whole by intensely and exclusively studying fine arts majors at a small, private university. Will I stumble on some valuable insights? Sure, but I'll also come away with some assumptions that are completely off-base for other groups. But if I only ever encounter fine arts majors regularly I'll never realize that, and I probably won't care. Still, if I were to try to tell someone with a broader knowledge of college life that my conclusions are universal, I'd be laughed out of the room.

Librish · 2016-06-15T07:01:35+00:00

What are you defining as blue pill beliefs? It's generally known and agreed upon by everyone that being in shape, confident, independent and successful are attractive traits that will help you get and keep a relationship for most people.

The beliefs that unite bloopers is that the darker part of RP (dread game, talking about women as lesser people etc.) is not something that works on all women, but more importantly even if it did it's still immoral.

shoup88 · 2016-06-15T14:16:04+00:00

It depends on which aspects of TRP you're talking about. The basic uncontroversial ideas like go to the gym, gain some confidence, don't take dating too seriously (be playful) and take women off the pedestal will work on most women, IMO.

The more extreme ideas, like riding the CC, branch-swinging, AF/BB, emphasis on status and wealth over personality and compatibility, being an "Alpha widow" after a ONS, and men must have major muscle mass and visible abs to be arousing - these are the ones I think apply to only a subset of women. Whenever I hear these specific stereotypes, it sounds to me like someone who watched a lot of MTV but never met many actual women. I personally don't know very many women like this, and I am not in a unique environment or social circle.

This post also highlights some of my problems with debating RP users. "Explain in detail why this concept is wrong, when it's obviously TRUE because I'm saying so." You don't seem very open to having your beliefs questioned.

Transmigratory · 2016-06-19T13:49:04+00:00

If they accept that they're wrong then they'll have to re-evaluate all the belief systems which resulted in their BP belief. Humans don't like being shaken like that, though with TRP those humans were shaken and then adapted accordingly to how things are, not how they should be like the TBP does.

ozymandias271 · 2016-06-15T13:58:40+00:00

Some of TRP works. Some of it works, but for reasons that are not the reasons TRP says it works ('dread game' is the big example here). Some of it (solipsism) seems to be describing women I have never actually interacted with, and so I presume that TRPers who say that it matches their experiences are in social groups full of awful women, and I wish them well.

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crankypants15 · 2016-06-17T19:07:37+00:00

unconfident, no ambition and no flirting skills.

I wouldn't date you, and I don't date girls like that either. Confident people are looking for someone confident for the most part. Things just work out better that way.

Why do you keep saying TRP works on and predicts female behavior in only a small subset of women when CLEARLY it's the opposite?

There's a big difference when talking about a high school girl who doesn't know what she wants, and has 1950s ideas about dating put into her head from her mom, and a 30yo woman who now knows more about relationships and what she wants. Thus arguments that leave this part out (the age of the group they are talking about) are incomplete.

If what you say is true, why did I only have moderate success when I held "Blue Pill" beliefs and had to rely on luck to have any sort of female attention?

I don't hold any such beliefs in any guaranteed system of dating, or model of behavior, because dating is not guaranteed, and individual people are too complicated to put an accurate model on. Group trends can be talked about but they don't predict the behavior of an individual. Thus, I simply ask girls out that seem nice, and hope we are compatible. The majority of the time we are not compatible, and that's no ones fault and does not imply anyone is "broken".

Title	Q4BP: Why do you think it is only a small sub set of women that TRP applies to?
Author	AmericanHistoryAFBB
Upvotes	2
Comments	141
Date	June 15, 2016 6:22 AM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/4o5yrp/q4bp_why_do_you_think_it_is_only_a_small_sub_set/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/q4bp-why-do-you-think-it-is-only-a-small-sub-set.274326 https://theredarchive.com/post/274326