Ladies, how can guys hit on you without it being harassment?

[deleted] · 2015-07-13T05:36:30+00:00

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TheChemist158 · 2015-07-13T06:00:46+00:00

Different women want different things. Part of being a grown up is understanding you wont please everyone.

[deleted] · 2015-07-13T15:59:24+00:00

I guess it seems to me like this doesn't need to be said, but okay:

Just be casual about it. Be nice, strike up a conversation. Treat me like a human. It's a really easy way to get my number. You can even tell me you think I'm pretty, as long as you're not harping on it in a way that makes me feel like a piece of meat. That's really all it takes.

If you follow me like a creeper or cat call then yeah, I'm probably going to tell you to fuck off.

How could you think someone would want to be approached or spoken to the way the girl was in that video? A guy yells a bunch of stuff at me in Spanish about how gorgeous I am and gracias a dios and that's supposed to make me what, want to stop and have a chat with him? No way!

nemma88 · 2015-07-13T18:58:00+00:00

I can't really speak for everyone but.. Should I have a inkling of intentions;

If your always initiating contact and I phase out the conversation after a few pleasantries, nope.

If not, s'all good. If I misinterpreted or your intentions are not clear I will make it clear; I won't think your creepy though unless there is some persistence after the fact.

Even so, I'm beginning to think I'm overly -Stop press- I just watched the video at this point and yeah, it's jumping the rules of escalation a bit don't you think ? Even TRP acknowledges this is a really bad way of getting anywhere. Slower form of escalation for the majority.

[deleted] · 2015-07-13T05:59:16+00:00

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[deleted] · 2015-07-13T05:16:29+00:00

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zonko_rose · 2015-07-13T12:43:26+00:00

Context matters. I may like to be hit on in a club or a party (or did before I was in a relationship anyway) but not so much when I am on the bus to uni or at work.

But I've noticed that there is a clear difference between people who harass me and people who are interested in getting to know me to date/sleep with me. Men who harass me usually do it without me giving them any attention first, and won't stop after I make it clear I'm not interested. If someone is genuinely trying to pursue some sort of relationship with me, be it purely sexual or a date, they tend to try and catch my attention before coming over, or will start a conversation before making it sexual. I could clarify with examples, but I'm quite hungover. I will if you need them though.

terminator3456 · 2015-07-13T13:16:29+00:00

ITT: All the bros answer.

acheronshunt · 2015-07-13T18:43:03+00:00

Context appropriate is largely what determines it. If I'm at work, no, it's harrassment and I can't get away. If I'm on a public street just trying to get from point a to b, no. Otherwise, it's kind of subjective from there and you're welcome to try. Just don't get butthurt if the timing comes across badly - sometimes even in a social setting ladies have agendas of their own and they don't include male attention.

It's mostly that there seems to be debate on both sides on when it's context appropriate to hit on someone - work and streets are generally not, bars/concerts generally are okay.

Obviously if it's super aggressive, scary or sexual right off the bat, that can be harrassment regardless of context.

sexypleurisy · 2015-07-13T21:13:47+00:00

I generally just walk up and sniff their butts. Hasn't worked yet, but when it does, I'll know I've found the one.

wombatinaburrow · 2015-07-13T08:51:18+00:00

If she doesn't respond positively right away, cut your losses and walk away. You are the pick up equivalent of a cold calling telemarketer, and, like them, have about 3 seconds to make a favourable impression.

CursedLemon · 2015-07-13T16:41:21+00:00

It's amazing how little this actually matters to people who know how to take "no" for an answer. Of course if you base your pickup game on dirty little schemes, you're going to come away with maybe marginally more success stories and a hell of a lot more harassment accusations.

Atlas_B_Shruggin · 2015-07-13T05:32:27+00:00

this short film will help

gregariousnefarious · 2015-07-13T16:55:20+00:00

This is simple in my opinion and social circle. Dude hits on you, either clumsily or suavely, that's ok as long as the setting is appropriate (ie not at work). If she sends a clear I'm not into it signal and he persists, then it's harassment (vice versa applies too, some women are just as bad at not taking a no and are thus harassers). Just flirting with a woman (even if youre no good at it or aren't hot) is not harassment. Obvious caveat, if you come off like buffalo bill when you hit on women, you're being creepy and should expect that your advances will be poorly received, but as long as you're being friendly and normal and read when it's time to stop pushing, you're in no danger of being branded a harasser.

OfSpock · 2015-07-13T08:18:15+00:00

You could hit on me when I'm single. I'm not receptive when in a relationship.

max_peenor · 2015-07-13T05:27:10+00:00

You make the assumption that all women want to get hit on like this lady does.

Also , the answer is to understand body language. Sure go ahead and talk to girls but if they seem too unresponsive and their face says "please stop talking to me" , just quit it , they're not into you or they're not in the mood. Don't just assume it's a shit test and keep trying to talk to them.

[deleted] · 2015-07-13T15:00:47+00:00

By being attractive

[deleted] · 2015-07-13T15:38:19+00:00

Women want you to hit on them. Just under very strict guidelines that only they know and expect you to psychically understand by magic. Also, you must be attractive. Or rich.

gregariousnefarious · 2015-07-13T16:07:54+00:00

Be attractive. Don't be unattractive.

Basically, if you are hawt, you can do pretty much whatever you want. If she is attracted to you, you aren't going to get accused of harassment regardless of what you say or do.

[deleted] · 2015-07-13T14:01:33+00:00

discreetly write me a cheque over $50.000.

strongalfalfa · 2015-07-13T16:17:34+00:00

Don't be a creep, treat me as a person, not a sex object, just be yourself, and look presentable i.e. attractive.

[deleted] · 2015-07-13T10:18:33+00:00

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Title	Ladies, how can guys hit on you without it being harassment?
Author	AmericanHistoryAFBB
Upvotes	10
Comments	78
Date	July 13, 2015 5:09 AM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/3d3egr/ladies_how_can_guys_hit_on_you_without_it_being/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/ladies-how-can-guys-hit-on-you-without-it-being.281076 https://theredarchive.com/post/281076