The Red Pill proclaims that it is a forum for “discussion of sexual strategy in a culture increasingly lacking a positive identity for men.” Also, the introduction to the community states that “feminism is a sexual strategy. It puts women into the best position they can find, to select mates, to determine when they want to switch mates, to locate the best dna possible, and to garner the most resources they can individually achieve.” I humbly disagree. Who are they to define feminism? If asked, most people would define feminism as a movement to give women and men the exact same set of rights and abilities. Of course, if asked, the majority of people polled would be average citizens, and would not be poisoned by a set of rules that defines misogyny and hatred.

And that is what The Red Pill is. Recently, I saw a post to this subreddit that told a story of a man who was not getting the sexual satisfaction that he desired from his girlfriend. Now, this can be an issue, of course, communication is key in any relationship, and telling your partner what you want is an important part of a loving and balanced relationship. But, the poster, who I searched for later and found he had deleted his post, was taking the situation and essentially raping, abusing, and dehumanizing his girlfriend.

Instead of talking to her, asking what he needed to change, and how they could mutually work out the problems in their relationship, this man told The Red Pill that he “would take sex when I wanted it.” When his girlfriend refused sex or protested, even if just initially, he should have stopped and seriously considered what he was doing to her. Instead, he told the site that he would “just grab her arm and flip her over, bending her over either like the couch, coffee table, or bed. Which ever is closer. And simply take it.” I challenge anyone to read that sentence and tell me it doesn’t describe rape.

Commentors of the post said more on the matter, stating that “OP’s actions aren’t rape because she obviously allows the behavior, and wouldn’t be coming back for more if she felt violated by any means.” Now, to clarify, I do not know this couple, I have no knowledge of their relationship in real life and no other context from another viewpoint to conclusively make a complete point. However, from reading, learning, and seeing countless accounts of abuse and rape, I can make a certified assumption that the Original Poster’s girlfriend was being abused emotionally and sexually.

“Wouldn’t be coming back for more if she felt violated by any means.”

Come on. How many women are trapped in this loop of regret and frustration? We don’t know what goes on behind the closed doors of his Reddit username, but I’m willing to bet that it isn’t pretty. Emotional, physical, and sexual abuse can all make a woman feel useless and dejected. It’s extremely difficult to recover from a relationship like that. Many women who are in abusive relationships feel that leaving or refusing sexual advances would anger their partner, and fear for their very safety because of this. Women and men in abusive relationships can feel that they are in danger, “my partner said he will hunt me down and kill me.”

Women may feel like they are worthless. A common thought when debating whether or not to leave an abusive relationship is that they are useless and nothing important, that they don’t deserve better, and that they can’t face the world outside of what they have been forced to live in.

I don’t know the family status of the poster, but I hope he did not have children. On that note however, another common thought is that children need a father, and that they will blame the victim for not having one if she leaves. This can throw in a lot of confusion and misguided decisions for people in abusive relationships.

Back to the post on Reddit, the fact that a commentor said that she “wouldn’t be coming back for more if she felt violated by any means” shows us that The Red Pill is a home to ignorant and ill advised misogynists. They assume that since she can’t leave, she must like it. Based on the above, I would reconsider that. She could feel trapped, stuck, isolated, and alone, and The Red Pill only encourages her abusive boyfriend’s behavior.

Now, to be clear, I am aware that some couples do engage in rough and seemingly unwanted sexual relations. I am not ruling this out completely, but from a quote from the OP, “I pull off her underwear or push them to the side or if she is actually wearing pants, I just pull them off. I don’t care if she cums at this point. On purpose, I force her head into the pillow or couch kind of to give her the feeling that I am the man and I will take her when I please. I get mine and then literally push her to the side like she is a common whore that I am done with.”

This is rape. There’s no way around it, this describes a case of rape.

Sadly, The Red Pill denies this. They even go as far to say that spousal rape cannot happen. Red Pill-ers believe that once they are married to a woman, she has no right to deny the man sex, whenever he wants. The common thought behind their logic is, “Men are the captains of the ship” and “she’s never too tired for sex” and other blindly misogynistic ideals.

After reading about this, I went over to the Blue Pill. First post I saw on the Blue Pill was about the post I took serious offense to and felt sincerely disturbed by. They quoted the OP, and showed how easy it is to see that it was rape.

Another point to bring up, why did OP delete his post within a few hours of posting it? Maybe he just wanted to delete his account, maybe he didn’t like my negative response, or maybe, by far the most likely, he saw how truly horrible his words sounded. By admitting to raping his girlfriend, he realized later that he could actually get in trouble for it. I don’t know, many Red Pill-ers commented on his post saying, “Obviously she is walking around wearing just underwear and is at your place, she is planning on being intimate.” No. This may be the case some of the time, but as we have all heard before, no one is asking to be raped. She may be wearing underwear because the room is hot, because she is more comfortable, doing laundry… Many men walk around in their boxers and mean absolutely nothing by it. They aren’t saying, “Gee I hope my girlfriend forces herself onto me.” It’s simple really, if someone wants sex, they can tell their partner, if they don’t, their partner needs to respect that. No one can ever assume that their partner wants it, it’s just not safe.

Now, onto the topic of rough sex. It happens, I know, some couples enjoy the submission, domination thing and that is okay. However, when a couple is into this type of relationship, a set of guidelines are usually essential. There should still be love and compassion outside and in the bedroom, you need to have a safe word, and the most important I think, is after care. After care is an essential part of a BDSM relationship, the sub needs to feel loved and protected afterwards by the dominatrix. This means cuddling, watching a movie, talking, and generally respecting the other person. No matter how crazy it gets in bed, the number one rule is that it should always be consensual. OP’s post mentioned no after care, quite the opposite actually, “I get mine and then literally push her to the side like she is a common whore that I am done with.” This is not love, this is not compassion; this is abuse and rape on many levels.

My final point is about the nature of the Red Pill in general. Why do men need a strategy for dating? There should be no strategy for it, it’s not a war, it’s not a battle; dating should be about two people who are mutually interested in each other and can find themselves loving each other and feeling genuine compassion for each other. Dating does not need a set of rules to get a girl in bed, it’s immature and violent. This strategy detracts from the true meaning of a relationship and shows us that The Red Pill is a flawed theory and does nothing good for both men and women. It hurts relationships, it can be directly linked to domestic abuse.

Many men who find the Red Pill are frustrated and single, and turn to Reddit for help. They can go to r/relationships, r/askwomen, r/askmen, r/sex… But there is no excuse to turn to the Red Pill. I have read posts about men who were having trouble in their relationship with their girlfriend or wife, and go the Red Pill, read through it, and decide it’s okay to feel like women are inferior. They read through the sickening posts and begin to feel like they are victims, like the women in their life are against them, betraying them, and are out to get them personally. It’s a misogynistic idea, and the underlined point here is that it needs to stop.

I am all for freedom of speech, I believe it should be okay for someone to find a community that they can feel like a part of, that’s great for them. When it becomes a problem is when actual people are being affected negatively by the support that their husbands and boyfriends find on the site. It is not okay for a site to promote rape and abuse like this, not when it so easily goes into the real world and puts women (and men) in danger. This is beyond freedom of speech, it is unacceptable to promote such acts and something needs to be done about it.

The Red Pill is a toxic subreddit, and needs to be monitored more carefully, perhaps by a group of people who both agree and disagree with the ideals on it, so that if a real problem comes up, like this, it can be made visible and not ignored as it has been. No longer should this man’s girlfriend be subjected to emotional, physical, and sexual abuse. The world has advanced beyond this middle ages mindset, and The Red Pill should not be allowed to advocate for these acts. Women have rights in this world, and no one is the “captain” in a relationship, love is about mutual respect, and the OP has absolutely none of that in his obviously flawed and sexist relationship.

Basically, my question is, do you agree with me? And what should be done?

Edit: Also, I found this. I want to hear what TRP has to say: http://www.reddit.com/r/everymanshouldknow/comments/29hbtj/emsk_why_the_red_pill_will_kill_you_inside/

Credit to: u/TalShar