Marital Benefits for Men

fiat_lux_ · 2014-02-07T16:09:27+00:00

Legal

Visa/Residency/Citizenship hasn't been brought up yet

My minions and their wenches from distant lands, crossed the high seas together hand in hand. With nary but faith and a quest in mind, through time and strife still committed by the sacred bind.

^{^{^{^Arrr}}}

masterrod · 2014-02-07T18:15:37+00:00

Financial: There may (or may not) be some minor tax benefits, depending on the relative income disparity of the couple.

There are tax benefits for all married couples. They can be major, plus insurance goes down. And life expectancy increases for the two married.

Legal: Visitation rights? You can get power of attorneys without marriage, and make someone a beneficiary without marriage.

I don't know there is much of a legal benefit to marriage, other than death rights.

Emotional: I fully support long term relationships for the right people. I'm asking specifically about marriage.

I don't think you can separate these two statements. People should marry the right people, but the right people are hard to find.

Familial Pressure: Stand up to your family and make your own decisions about your life.

This is difficult because marriage has a lot more to do with families, than the two people.

Knowing they will always be there: See modern divorce rates.

The real divorce rate is about 50%.

twentyfoursevensex · 2014-02-07T19:22:44+00:00

Married men tend to live longer compared to their counterparts.

blahphone · 2014-02-08T06:39:49+00:00

Knowing they will always be there: See modern divorce rates.

I'm just going to go on a rant about divorce rates briefly. People always bring up divorce rates and say "if I get married then I have a 50% chance of getting divorced" as though it's a game of chance, as though there's nothing you can do to better your odds. That's lazy. Marriage isn't a dice game, you are in control of whether or not it works out to a large extent. Don't just rush into marriage, thoroughly vet your potential partner, make sure the two of you can live together peaceably and happily. Make sure you aren't just infatuated and your love will stand the test of time. Know them. Be sure about them. When you find a partner you're interested in marrying, make sure you pick someone who actually wants to get married. Who will stand by you and will do their part to put in the work and push through the hard times. Someone who will not cut and run. When you're married, continue to date them, appreciate them, excite and enjoy them. When problems arise and things start to go south, resist the urge to just abandon ship and try to work through the issues. Put in the work it takes to make a marriage work. Do all that and it will not be a 50-50 shot in the dark.

Do some people do everything right and still get blindsided with a divorce? Of course, it happens. But not 50% of the time. A lot of the time, divorce happens because both parties messed up either in judgement or in the actual marriage.

myfriendscantknow · 2014-02-07T14:20:32+00:00

All one has to do to see the advantages of marriage is look at what gay people are said to miss out on. There are some notable financial advantages.

See modern divorce rates.

It's estimated that about 40-50% of marriages end in divorce. It's not quite the forgone conclusion TRP makes it out to be.

GridReXX · 2014-02-07T15:47:47+00:00

Modern divorces rates are no different from older miserable, sexless marriage rates.

rpw_only · 2014-02-07T18:26:11+00:00

Stability for your children is the biggest one. If you don't want kids, marriage becomes a lot less attractive.

Social acceptability. In some professional circles, a wife is an important part of earning credibility. You could seem lower class or less stable for not being married.

Not losing a good woman. Many women, especially the traditional type, just wouldn't be interested in a long-term relationship without marriage with you. You could lose out on being with that kind of woman if you don't put marriage on the table.

spongegloss00 · 2014-02-08T04:10:52+00:00

Hm, ell I'm surprised this wasn't mentioned but what about sex?! I know the general rule is that women stop giving it up after marriage or moving in but if you find the right women and keep taking care of yourself...you've pretty much got ass on demand. At least that's what my partner has.

Talran · 2014-02-07T13:50:16+00:00

Financial: There may (or may not) be some minor tax benefits, depending on the relative income disparity of the couple. There is also a huge financial risk for the higher earner.

More and more, if you're both working professionals you're seeing women being the more motivated half and the higher earner. I don't expect this trend to change. As women populate the workforce more, we may very well see 60-70% women being the norm, so this might actually start to swing toward the other side.

If you aren't dedicated to your love and vice versa though, you can always sign a prenup.

Legal: Visitation rights? You can get power of attorneys without marriage, and make someone a beneficiary without marriage.

Marriage is really just a shortcut to these in most instances. It's also a bit easier in many cases than whipping out the PoA and explaining everything IMO.

Emotional: I fully support long term relationships for the right people. I'm asking specifically about marriage.

Emotionally, because of how it's painted, being married helps you really feel anchored to them. Which can be a very good thing or a very bad thing. Depending on how much you want to ride the cunt carousel that is.

Familial Pressure: Stand up to your family and make your own decisions about your life.

Fuck family, I agree. Once it's you and him/her they should have zero say in your life unless they're providing for you.

Knowing they will always be there: See modern divorce rates.

People rush into shit these days (and earlier I suppose). Really just be with them longer before taking the jump and you'll see divorce rates drop. I really think marriage should come after 3-4 years dating and a 1-2+ year engagement.

deepthrill · 2014-02-07T15:28:26+00:00

Financial: There may (or may not) be some minor tax benefits, depending on the relative income disparity of the couple. There is also a huge financial risk for the higher earner.

I've seen studies that say married men typically make more than unmarried men. Not sure if that causation or not but its likely an indication of some kind (don't ask, I'm too lazy to look up the link). I think, if you the right kind of woman, aka a RPW, you'll be freer to be yourself. You'll be encouraged to be more aggressive and it can't hurt to have someone in your corner, cheering your success.

Legal: Visitation rights? You can get power of attorneys without marriage, and make someone a beneficiary without marriage.

This will be unpopular on Reddit but we need to define what marriage is and what it isn't. If its the union of two people, and two people only, fine. If it is one man and woman, fine. If its one man and four women, fine. If its for the creation of kids, fine. If its to take care of each other as you age so your not a drain on socaity's resources, fine. But it cannot be for the sole purpose of validating a long term FWB. Without a clearly defined boundery of marriage is and isn't, I agree with you, draw up a contract and live by that.

Emotional: I fully support long term relationships for the right people. I'm asking specifically about marriage.

I don't have these. I have nothing to say about them.

Familial Pressure: Stand up to your family and make your own decisions about your life.

I actually think this is a good reason to get married because I think marriage is social institution. Your family shouldn't pick your partner but they should be involved and it makes sense to me to listen their advice/warnings. You are joining families after all.

Knowing they will always be there: See modern divorce rates.

Word

roe_ · 2014-02-07T16:18:51+00:00

Basically, I think advice for het men considering marriage comes down to this:

You have no legal protection whatsoever - don't be deluded about this. If you wouldn't trust your bride to do business with you "on her word and a handshake," you shouldn't be getting married.

I have an explicit agreement with my wife that if things don't work out, 50/50 shared custody and asset split is the default starting point, no involvement in the courts, with some sane, temporary alimony towards her (cause she did quit her job to raise our kids to school-going age). This is based on nothing but trust (but well-earned trust, from me to her).

(Edit to add: Kids are an important part of this equation. Once you have kids, the state is involved in your relationship whether you want it to be or not.)

DuchessSandwich · 2014-02-07T16:52:43+00:00

Knowing they will always be there: See modern divorce rates.

I'd argue that you're still promising yourself to another person for the rest of your life and vice versa. I doubt that a lot of people enter into marriage expecting to get divorced. Regardless of the current divorce rate, if I married someone it would be because I believe that they will always be there for me.

So an individual man could still get the benefit of having someone always there for them.

CFRProflcopter · 2014-02-07T17:46:39+00:00

Emotional

Well it's been said over and over here, statistically, men are happier in marriage than women. I'm not exactly sure if married men are happier than single men. I'd have to look that up.

such-a-mensch · 2014-02-07T17:28:23+00:00

With 50% of marriages ending unfavorably, any benefit needs to be evaluated from a benefit/ cost scenario. Unfortunately under the current laws and societal view of marriage being temporary marriage just isn't a good idea for many men out there.

Czacha · 2014-02-07T23:08:16+00:00

Financial: I can get the same benefits without going into a marriage and without the risk of getting screwed over if shit hits the fan. So why would I marry?

Legal: -

Emotional: -

Familial Pressure: marrying because of pressure or some childish dream is marrying on the wrong premises.

Knowing they will always be there: -

Aerobus · 2014-02-08T04:54:11+00:00

There are none, unless you count risking half of your stuff as a benefit.

berryokt · 2014-02-09T03:49:30+00:00

From my husband's point of view there is a deeper control exercised over me by being legally married. He agrees that many women will cheat, divorce and only try for alimony and child support, but he will not allow that from me. You have to trust the woman you choose, she will be yours for life and she will bear your children. My husband knows I will always be faithful to him. We have been homeless for almost three years together, I do not care about money or status. I would lie and cover up bruises if he ever gave me them, and I would take a bullet for him or give him my heart if he needed a transplant. We both agree that not all women are the same, but not enough are fully respectful to their men. It takes time to choose right and build up trust.

Title	Marital Benefits for Men
Author	deepthrill
Upvotes	7
Comments	88
Date	February 7, 2014 1:17 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1x9pph/marital_benefits_for_men/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/marital-benefits-for-men.286246 https://theredarchive.com/post/286246