When people (men or women) look at you, they think to themselves, “What can this person provide me?” They don’t give a fuck otherwise. I am convinced that people go as far to validate themselves in helping the less needy. In other words, I don’t hold the door for you, I hold the door to feel good about the fact that I held the door for you. It’s kind of crazy when I think about it lol.

I thought about some of my employees where I work. I started to divide them up, and understand what I liked about the ones I do like. Notice, every one of these people are very subtle in their actions, except for one...

There is Mike. I like Mike. He is a hard worker. He is honest (for the most part, but even when he lies, it is in this very innocent way), and has pretty great intentions. If I give a problem to Mike, he will get it done and usually won’t try to sneak out of the problem. I like Mike because he gets shit done and lessens my stress level. I can dump work on Mike (that I know he can handle), and consider it done. Mike is probably my favorite person because I see myself in him. Meaning, he is as anal retentive as I am. If I give something to Mike, I don’t have to ask another question about it, it’s covered.

There is Ryan. I like Ryan. Ryan makes me feel good about myself. When we walk out of a meeting, he will usually look at me and say, “You killed it!” Ryan boosts my ego, and I really don’t mind. Ryan is one of those guys who always knows what to say. I ask if I losing muscle, he laughs and says, “No, you look great!” I say I am going to do something ballsy like steal customers from the competitor, Ryan asks me how. Then, Ryan asks how he can help.

There is Michelle. Michelle watches my child whenever I have an outing or something to do on the weekend. She will take her without any notice (I mean 5 minutes beforehand) at all and has on about 10 occasions.

There is John. John is my unofficial deputy and gets treated as such. What this means, is that I gave John the same power I have. In return, John picks up the slack. For example, if I am on vacation, John will act as me, and the world keeps on moving. If I can’t make it to a meeting, John shows. Which means I showed up, only not as handsome that day. I introduce everyone to John as my deputy. John feels good about this.

Then, there is me. What value did I provide them that makes them so desperately want to provide value to me? I gave all of these people jobs. I gave them the job title they wanted, and the salary they desired. Ironically, I had known them all from different walks of life or other settings, prior to them being hired by me where I work.

But, there is one last person I want to tell you about, it’s Chris. I don’t like Chris, personally. He makes everything very difficult. When we have a project, Chris is the guy yapping away about how it’s not done and why. Chris talks the longest during meetings. Most of the time, I cut him off and ask questions that will shut him up. He is a giant time waster. Chris always seems to have a problem. Chris is really smart, but can’t get out of his own way. He doesn’t have things in common with anyone else. Most of all, Chris is insecure. He has to 1 up every single person he talks to. If I show Chris something, he feels obligated to show me something even better. If I tell Chris something, he has to tell me something even better. Everyone avoids Chris.