I want to lead and do it efficiently, so I read to understand where I stand and where I should be. I do this for me and for those around me, in home, school, work and social events. Because the man is the true center of his social group, and as the captain, he can lead the ship to property or wreck it while trying. No third option: NO way he delegates this responsibility. If he is to lead, he can't do it without following his convictions. Thus, to build frame and acquire the wisdom of strong leaders, we tend to try and copy habits of highly successful leaders "fake it till you make it". Failing to realize what suits him at a given situation, under calculated problems may get too big of an action. We need to understand where did our goals are coming from at different stages of development as we are swallowing the pill.

How can we realize what suits what then?

"if you want to be the chief of something, you have to do it all the way" That's when you accept to work as a secretary for the chief editor of a journal, and in 2 years, you become a reviewer, an assistant editor, an associate editor, then.. you replace an editor in Chief of a journal, someone in the same position of who hired you as his secretary. But you need the vision, the conviction, the ability to make choices on the fly and take risks. Otherwise, 2 years passes by and you find yourself still in a secretary for the good times you have and the limits that you set for yourself. Or, you may have gotten sidetracked and lost yourself and vision, even though you are working directly under the chief who you once wanted to copy him in everything as your idol, instead of using him as inspiration only. Same thing applies in home, if you start as a child who was deprived of his masculinity and forced to act nice to cover who you truly are, you grow up as a weak snowflake lair who get by in life by cutting corners and deceiving people. Life throw at us the Red Pill, and it's up to us how to swallow it and apply any advice from the wealth of knowledge at a given situation.

As a beginner, take my post with a grain of salt: Here is what you need to have in your developing frame as a leader:

I want to lead everyone to success but I need to lead myself first. What do I need to know about a leader? What is he doing to perfect his role?

First, a leader and a manager are similar but not the same. The Captain should skillfully achieve both roles so he knows what is he doing at a given time and change his leadership style, if necessary, as he is keeping everything under the control of his frame and plays skillfully within limits or break given limits.

The manager: Mission and purpose oriented, focused internally on status quo. He is well aware of the rules he gave to everyone in his circle to play within his frame.

The leader: Vision and goal oriented, focused externally. He is more concerned about strategic change and unbridled possibilities and opportunities.

The manager: Approaches issues as technical problems. With authority, he leads and direct within his limited span of knowledge to the subjects he mastered. While STFU when he doesn't know what he is doing and goes to r/askMRP to seek help

The leader: Distinguishes between adaptive and technical issues. He is comfortable with ambiguity though, and leads with his conviction, vision and charisma. He has the skills of knowing "how to learn" anything, and is able to find resources. Because he read the side bar, when he goes to r/askMRP he asks for a rod, not to be given a fish.

Now the Captain assuming the leadership role that was assigned to him based on his gender, he formulated his vision, mission and measurable goals. How does he distinguish the core type of action performed in a given situation?

He needs to measure the dose. Too much of anything can be harmful as much as too little. Thus, he has to know if he is leading in a transactional "managerial" or transformational "leadership" style.

With managerial skills: An ordinary performance is satisfactory to transactional leaders, because it's already hard to keep frame and maintain status quo. He is playing well in his rule with the knowledge he has and skills he developed.

With leadership skills: Transformational leader wants to produce extraordinary performance to CHANGE status quo, by changing the rules.

The manager: His goals arise out of necessity, quick in reaction to respond to ideas and issues. His strong frame arose from deeply embedded concepts formulated from his own experience and history. Solves problems with the limited choices he has as he rationalize and control the issues at hand. He emotionally detaches himself from his goals, he does what it takes to achieve them, nothing is personal, as his incentive is based on the exchange of needs.

The leader: His goals arise out of desires. He is active, not reactive, in shaping ideas. He may departures from his personal beliefs and history to try something completely new if it aligns with his vision. Develops fresh approaches to long lasting problems, with innovative and creative mindset. The outcomes of his goals are personal, as his incentive is based on the greater good.

What does it take to play transactional or transformational approach of leadership?

The manger: For him to play a transactional style of leadership, his locus of reward is to maximize personal benefit and for that he has to be persistence, tough-minded, hard-working, intelligent and analytic. Thus, he negotiates and bargains, uses rewards, punishment, and sometimes, he has to use other forms of coercion. All of that striving to convert win-lose into win-win situations, as part of the process of reconciling differences among people and maintaining frame and balances of power.

The leader: For him to play a transformational style of leadership, his locus of reward is to optimize systemic benefits. For that he needs to have balls. Genius and heroism are what he requires. Thus, he inspire followers, creates shared vision, motivates. All of that to create new situations and new directions without regard to reconciling groups or power.

Personal Competence is the foundation of the Emotional Intelligence for a leader to directly impact morale, turnover and relationships. This competence comes from self awareness and self management. The Captain masters himself first and must reach out to help others. Leadership can be learned by reflection, goal-setting emphasizing soft skills, practice, and assessment, challenge, and support. Challenge yourself first, be the best version you could be, own your shit!

Great leaders are made by experience, by the work of insight, by personal growth, and by learning from mentors!