To quote the Joker: “For my whole life, I didn't know if I even really existed, but I do”

I’ve pretty much been an npc in my own story for my entire life, and i’m fucking sick of not being able to talk to people and express my interests. I’m sick of thinking so much and doubting myself. I’m sick of assuming that everyone will dislike me before i’ve even met them. I want to be alive.

So my question is what mind altering substances will help me overcome my aforementioned issues? If you’ve had any experiences with this sort of thing please share your stories with me.

Don’t bother replying if you’re gonna moralise and tell me why I shouldn’t do this.