335,797 posts

Are you still fucking other girls?

by Self-honest on /r/TheRedPill
20 November 2019 04:19 AM UTC

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I was spinning a plate named Sally last year.

Sally was a looker. Sally fucked me whenever I wanted, cooked me dinner and canceled other plans to spend time with me.

We had been seeing each other for around 3 months and I found her femininity endearing.

One night, while we were hanging out at my place, she reached deep in her purse as she said, “I got you something for Christmas.”

She handed me a small package and looked on in anticipation of what I would do next.

“Thanks, that’s awesome!” I said as I walked across the room and put it under my sarcastic joke of a Christmas tree.

I had not gotten her a gift as we had only been fucking for a few months and it would be absolutely ridiculous to buy her anything.

I also wasn’t going to open it in front of her because, “I have to wait until Christmas morning to open presents, silly.”

I walked back over and kissed her.

As I began to escalate, I felt a hard object under her bra that felt like a stone of some kind.

Sally was in fact, the type of girl who believed in the magic power of trinkets and stones, so I pulled back and looked at her inquisitively.

Her facial tone had changed to nervous.

“What’s up?” I asked.

She looked at me with puppy dog eyes...........like abused puppy dog eyes.

“What is it?” I asked.

“..........are you still fucking other girls?”


I chuckled and rolled my eyes. “I’m not NOT fucking other girls”

Her eyes teared up.

“What’s wrong girl?”

“It’s just, I have feelings for you......and I’m not fucking other guys because I want to be with you. And you don’t feel that way about me. That’s how it’s supposed to work. If you feel that way about somebody, then you don’t want to be with other people.”

“Hmmmmm” I said with an intrigued tone.

“Sally, guys and girls are different. I’m really enjoying the time we’re spending together but I’m a guy and I have no desire to stop fucking other girls at this point. We have only been seeing each other for a few months. That’s not long enough in my opinion, to really get to know someone like that.”

With a sulk she said, “I understand.”

“Do I not spend some quality time with you and have a good god damn time doing it? I’m not sure what you’re concerned about.” I said.

She smiled.

I resumed kissing her.

She stopped me.

“I can’t have sex with you tonight because I have to go home because I have work in the morning and I can’t have sex with someone if I’m not staying the night.”

“.......ok babe, I’ll walk you out”

She looked deflated.

I walked her to the door and kissed her like it was the last time I would ever see her.

I closed the door and waited patiently to see what happened next.

Get ready for the shocker.....


That was it.

She never contacted me again. I never contacted her again. And all is well in the universe.

I moved forward living my life exactly how I wanted to.

No commitment. Lifting weights. Making money. Spinning plates. Having great experiences.

I never posted on askTRP looking for advice on what to say or do to bring her back into my life.

Honestly I haven’t really given it any thought until right now. There are a million other ways I’ve been spending my time.

Sure, maybe I could have handled the moment differently and kept her spinning for a bit longer, but it was already in the past.

Plates break. Lessons get learned. Life goes on.

Until next time, keep it classy guys.

Post Information
Title Are you still fucking other girls?
Author Self-honest
Upvotes 899
Comments 400
Date 20 November 2019 04:19 AM UTC (4 months ago)
Subreddit TheRedPill
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/295904
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/dywnle/are_you_still_fucking_other_girls/
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441 upvotesChadster1134 months ago

Always good to see a man not being controlled by pussy

220 upvotesSelf-honest [OP]4 months ago

I wasn’t always the man I am today. It’s important to note for the newer guys out there. It does get better. Just do the work.

82 upvotesRamessesVII4 months ago

“Just do the work” is really the best advice. When the break up happens the persons really only unhappy when their life sucks.

9 upvotesSelf-honest [OP]4 months ago


1 upvotesthethundercockroad4 months ago

Ive read the sidebar, lurked and have swallowed the pill

29 upvotesChadster1134 months ago

I wonder though did you not feel any remorse when she didn't contact? I find I catch feelings for girls I have sex with.

35 upvotesSelf-honest [OP]4 months ago

Let’s play a game.

Why would I feel remorse?

18 upvotesChadster1134 months ago

Ahh maybe remorse wasn't the right word. But feeling remorse from missing good times?

191 upvotesSelf-honest [OP]4 months ago

She’s the one missing good times. I am the good times. They come with me wherever I go.

44 upvotesAndorli4 months ago

Great mindset, but did you truly internalize that? Or are you saying that to make yourself believe that? Or because you know that is how you SHOULD think?

Also, don't you have moments when despite all the indicators being there, you still do not "feel" that way?

Basically do you have moments of self-doubt and how do you deal with those moments? Or how did you eliminate them?

4 upvoteslookoutitscaleb4 months ago

For me it's hard to make a girl feel like she isn't worth me committing to her.

Like making her feel self conscious. I know logically her feelings aren't my responsibility but it's still a hurdle I'm trying to overcome.

6 upvotesNoitrasama4 months ago

The best solution or cure is spin plates. Even if u don't sleep with some of your plates, u will feel abundance. So u won't get easily attached

1 upvotesTheRedPillRipper4 months ago


Never forget; its just your turn.

Godspeed and good luck!

11 upvotesHumanSockPuppet4 months ago

No. It was just her turn.

Now her turn is over.

14 upvotesPhaedrusHunt4 months ago

I do not understand what you are saying.

1 upvotesyoucantdenythat4 months ago

It's one of the mantras around here "She's not yours, it's just your turn"

It helps guys remember not to put her on a pedestal and obsess about a woman because loyalty isn't something young women are known for.

1 upvotesPhaedrusHunt4 months ago

Lol think i replied to the wrong comment

2 upvotesrBearwulf4 months ago

Better,never forget

It’s just her turn

1 upvotesBJJ-Panda4 months ago

lol, are you joking? a red piller spends a lot of his time in the pursuit of pussy, is that not being controlled?

2 upvotesSelf-honest [OP]4 months ago

Very little time in pursuit. I get text messages asking if I want to hang out a certain night. I make plans then girls show up.

110 upvotesLordFa94 months ago

Your strategy was on point but the tactics could use some work

She seems like s soft one so instead of nuking her down, I would have let her down easy. She can still choose to stay or go

Going "Haw haw I'm a man. I have to fuck lots of girls. You can't stop this haw haw" only really worked for Hugh Hefner

29 upvotesRedLegendx4 months ago

Exaaaactly, people be taking TRP strats and think they gotta be fucking Terminator 9000 on steroids. Like calm down, shesh.

27 upvotesSelf-honest [OP]4 months ago

Lol for sure. Again not the point of the post, but yes I did rub it in her face. Bottom line is that wasn’t going to last much longer either way.

48 upvotesUEMcGill4 months ago

“Sally, guys and girls are different. I’m really enjoying the time we’re spending together but I’m a guy and I have no desire to stop fucking other girls at this point. We have only been seeing each other for a few months. That’s not long enough in my opinion, to really get to know someone like that.”

Actually you DEER'd. You explained you excused, you rationalized.

The correct path would have been to own it. "Hey, this is how it is for now. I won't make promises I can't keep."

Plates spin, plates fall for sure but understand it may have been because she felt you were weasily not because you were unattainable. She may have felt used. If you owned it, she may have rationalized it to herself.

12 upvotesSelf-honest [OP]4 months ago

This is absolutely correct. Thanks for the input. At that point I was still working out how to handle the talk. I’ve gotten much smoother over the past year.

In fact I sidestepped my most recent episode of the talk into a potential threesome, some toys and cuffs to tie her up that she purchased for me, and anal whenever I want.

Mostly because of lessons learned from the abject failure recounted in this post.

3 upvotes42gauge4 months ago

Could you go into some more detail, maybe in a separate post?

1 upvotesSelf-honest [OP]4 months ago

Sure. Remind me if you haven’t seen something in the next week. I’ve got a lot going on, but it’s a story worth telling.

1 upvotesLordFa94 months ago

Having read your other replies, it seems the point of the post is to showcase how you wernt going to yield frame.

Fair enough but a different choice of words would have been better all round

1 upvotesdaveed12974 months ago

Better why? His goal wasn't to keep things going. What end would have required different tactics?

-4 upvotesthe_king_of_NoFap4 months ago

I’m proud of you bro. These people who disagree w you are clearly here to half ass red pill tactics only to get married to a whore (angel in their world). Fuck marriage & fuck having kids.

7 upvotesyoucantdenythat4 months ago

You still have a bit of white-knighting to get over.

You don't know anything about this chick except the few sentences that OP wrote. Let her down easy; Indeed! lol

1 upvotesDeontologicalSanders3 months ago

Late reply, but I'm sorry what??? "Nuked her"? A "softie"?

She asked for commitment. OP stated honestly that he wasn't ready for it and explained why. She cried, and OP didn't judge her for it at all. In fact he comforted her. Then she tried to withhold sex under the guise of plausible deniability, so that she couldn't be blamed for it. OP called her bluff and let her go home, politely walking her out.

And then what happened next? This "softie" who had "feelings" for OP never called him again. Not so much as a peep ROFL.

A girl who doesn't get commitment on the first go-round, and then completely cuts contact forever is not a "softie". That's a fucking ice queen in disguise. And moreover, it means her "feelings" for OP were hardly genuine.

603 upvotesWingflier4 months ago

Am I the only one who thinks that the reason you're telling us about this almost a year later is that what happened bothers you?

She was ready to commit to you and you essentially shot her down multiple times with zero remorse.

There's nothing in the RP philosophy that dictates that you can't have committed relationships with someone if they're trustworthy and loyal to you. This is especially true if you plan to have kids as you're likely a terrible father if you're still fucking around.

We make fun of chicks for riding the cock carousel and then ending up cat ladies, but what about guys that spend their lives having meaningless sex and also end up alone?

I don't think the lesson I took from this story was what you intended.

96 upvotesRivenHalf4 months ago

I literally wrote an entire post about guys do this here just recently lol I agree with you

95 upvotes-ThePathIsTheGoal-4 months ago

I remember that post, it was spot on.

No one can deny that this situation is quite tricky. If OP truly wants to spin plates, and has no desire for intimacy beyond a very loose attachment, that is fine. It’s also fine if someone prefers to spend more of their time in LTR’s.

One is no better than the other.

However, one ginormous hurdle when swallowing the pill is eradicating all of the self deception. You can get all rah rah about TRP at first and declare that you just want to spin plates, yet when you attempt to do so you find that it’s really not that special and it feels quite empty.

You must be honest with yourself and decide from there what you want (using your newfound red pill lenses) Maybe OP truly does want to just spin plates. I don’t know. But something about this post (aside from the fact it was even posted) struck me as coming from someone who thinks it’s “more Red Pill” to spin plates than to possibly get into an LTR with someone. A decent prospect was turned down because “that’s the red pill thing to do” and now there may be some lingering regret.

If that’s true, I personally think that’s ok. The regret may be nudging you in the direction of pursuing something a little more serious than just banging random sluts.

23 upvotesheliocracy4 months ago

And I'd just like to quickly add, naturally RPed women do exist, hope OP doesn't pass up an opportunity should he come across one.

2 upvotesLost_soul954 months ago

was turned down because “that’s the red pill thing to do” and now there may be some lingering regret.

Are you fucking serious bro? "a decent prospect was turned down" How do you know she was a decent prospect? You're putting another mans fucktoy on a pedestal and you claim to be red pill? From my point of view she was trying to manipulate him into a relationship. "I'm not fucking any other guys" Wow does she want a cookie? "I got you a christmas present" Oh thanks you spent 5 dollars at the gas station. Next.

0 upvotesSelf-honest [OP]4 months ago

I truly enjoy my life exactly how it is. I have tons of great friends. I own a business. I have a side hustle. I work out regularly. I eat well. I have interests and hobbies. I spend the remainder of my free time with women. There is no permanence. There is no time to pretend to play house. Women lock men down. There is no locking a woman down. They are always single no matter what has been said. Better to keep the power positions flipped to keep them working hard.

17 upvotese39boy4 months ago

You can’t take your money, your business, your bench record, or pretty much anything with you when you die.

Having pointless sex does something to the brain and mind and it makes it hard on you. What are you working for? Yourself or for the world? Everyone has a bit of selfishness in them, but we are all supposed to leave the place better than we found it.

Why not leave something for your children? Aka to have children you have to COMITT. If you use these principles properly, you will hedge your risk by vetting properly.

8 upvotesSelf-honest [OP]4 months ago

we are all supposed to leave the place better than we found it.

WE aren’t supposed to do shit. Quit moralizing. I never signed any contracts.

9 upvotese39boy4 months ago

I see your perspective, but what do you suggest? Sitting around like a fucking incel? No.

Listen, going to the gym, making money, living a healthy life are not fucking goals. That's the minimum. Everyone should be doing that. It's easy to fuck a bunch of people and not commit in the name of "AWALT." But a true man does what no one else will do, it might be hard, oh fucking well, too bad.

As I've said, you take nothing with you when you die. It's easy to live alone, it's easy to make your own money, it's easy to go to the gym, it's easy to do anything for yourself. But it's hard to do something for others--hard to raise a family, hard to find a good woman, hard to raise children, etc.

BUT it can be much easier if you adhere to these principles, use them to vet properly and then find one who is willing to cash in their chips. It's easy to die alone, with no one to love you except yourself. The end goal is not to be alone, it's biological to prefer a mate--it's pretty much an irrefutable fact. The difference here is that mating with a bunch of women is easy.

1 upvotesschroedinger114 months ago

I agree with whatever you said but how does "having pointless sex does something to the brain and mind and makes it hard on someone"? Could you explain this statement?

7 upvotese39boy4 months ago

For sure. When you have sex with someone (even a nasty 1/10 prostitute), your brain releases chemicals that not only make you feel good but further the bonding process.

So yes, while you’ll feel good in the moment, shortly after, eventually (it could be a couple hours later, days, months, etc.) you’ll feel empty because you began with the intentions of not bonding with this person in a monogamous manner. You’re going against the biological/chemical grain in other words.

Ever hear the phrase “begin with the end in mind?” It’s like that. If you try and cheat the biological events that take place during and after sex, you’ll pay the price for it in the end because you’ll literally go nuts.

A lot of us have been there with multiple partners, I guarantee you that you never felt complete! Can’t cheat the brain or the body.

37 upvotestriavatar4 months ago

His desire is clearly not for committed long-term monogamy. Your desire may be that.

If you have different desires in regards to women, its only natural that you will interpret things differently and act differently towards events like these.

Ending up alone is not the worst thing that can happen to guy, but it is hands down the worst thing that can happen to a woman. At least biologically-speaking.

Theres nothing wrong with LTRs, but this guy just clearly doesn't want any and is not willing to compromise on that.

50 upvotesNYCSPARKLE4 months ago

And for people saying he still has remorse or feelings, not really.

I think positively on past plates that wanted a LTR with me all the time. I fantasize about them when I’m with other girls.

But those plates broke.

It’s like remembering a great vacation. Yes, sometimes you will still wish you were on that beach. But that vacation ended.

That doesn’t mean you can’t still have fond memories of it.

It’s not like you could live on that beach forever. You’d never see another beach, or have a career, or meet new people.

LTR / marriage is like retiring to your favorite beach. You need to be ready to say this is where I’m staying because I’ve made enough money and now want to have a family, etc. And you choose that particular beach because it’s a net benefit to you (easy, beautiful, relatively low cost). Just like an LTR / wife should be. You wouldn’t retire to a stressful, expensive, inconvenient place.

Until then. Enjoy your plates like you enjoy your vacations. You don’t get upset or remorseful when a vacation ends, but you can still miss it / remember it fondly.

8 upvotesSelf-honest [OP]4 months ago

Man, this is very well said. Love the analogy.

3 upvotesTheGreatConst4 months ago

There are guys who have LTR which lasts for tens of years AND their woman is fine with them periodically fucking other women. It is how the perfect RP LTR looks like. When you need to hold down your sexuality completely and fuck only one woman for the rest of your life - you can't be truly satisfied unless you already lost the most of your libido. Because for men sexual attraction is very dependent on dopamine increase which you can get only with a new experience. A lot of guys solve it by watching porn while in LTR. Of course, dopamine receptors can be overstimulated and become less sensitive for some time, this is why you can get tired from watching too much porn or fucking too many new girls - if it is so then you need a break to start enjoying sex like before. It is the same with any kind of "natural addiction" - then you do "pleasant things" too often then you start to enjoy it less and less. But it would be the problem if you stop for a very long time. If there is not enough novelty in your sex life for too long then you can expect a very serious decrease in your libido as a whole and possible emotional impotence. And then guys who fuck their wife once per month or year tell you about how happy is their marriage.

9 upvotes-ThePathIsTheGoal-4 months ago

I don’t disagree with this comment at all. Solid input.

80 upvotesshea_the_great4 months ago

I’m gonna take this a step further. Every once in a while, a post shows up here that doesn’t really amount to much more than auto-felatio. Apparently OP felt it was worth his time to post (in far more text) the following statements:

I spin plates.

one of my plates made an endearing effort to make me commit but I showed her the door without a second’s hesitation.

I’m the man, be like me kids.

Garbage post that contributes nothing.

And one other thing. There’s several comments disagreeing with you below saying “BP” / “beta” etc. I gotta say, I always laugh at those lefty idiots that predictably respond “racist” “sexist” etc at an opinion mildly different from their own and I call them NPCs. Well guess what guys when you encounter a POV on this sub that’s not fitting your bias and you immediately retreat to launching “BP, beta” you’re acting like the NPCs of this sub.

17 upvotesSelf-honest [OP]4 months ago

You missed the point and honestly that’s fine because the post wasn’t for you. I have gotten plenty of PMs from young guys dealing with oneitis who thanked me for the example.

1 upvotescaliforniawaves234 months ago

OP’s point was it’s okay to walk away if you’re not ready and not commit to something/someone if it’s truly not wha YOU want. Everyone is their own person. OP was simply letting men know his life didn’t plummet letting someone walk away. I much appreciated his post. Kudos for living your life.

11 upvotesMarketing_Baboon4 months ago

The kids part is especially true. I've said time and again that any red pilled man that eventually wants kids is going to have to accept that an LTR and probably even marriage will have to be part of that. We can pretend but I think that not even so deep down most of us want kids just as much as the average woman does. If you never want kids then sure, don't worry about it, but if you do then you damn well need to be vetting women left and right for LTR material instead of just fucking them.

4 upvotesyoucantdenythat4 months ago

How you going to vet them if you don't understand them?

How are you going to understand them if you don't have experience with enough of them?

How are you going to get experience with them without fucking them?

How are you ever going to find a good woman and vet her if you don't even know how to attract her?

All guys should spin plates for years before even thinking about getting into an LTR.

1 upvotesboywonder2004 months ago

I'm gonna have to disagree. I will agree that you have to spend time with women in order to understand women. I also don't think that guy should settle down with the first girl he fucks, unless he actually sees legitimate chemistry and someone he thinks can improve his life over the future. But thinking that running through pussy and having pointless sex is going to help you one iota in a relationship is just wrong outside of giving you the confidence and abundance mentality you need to leave when the time is appropriate.

People get better at LTRs by being in LTRs. Maintaining frame and attraction in an LTR is LEAGUES more difficult than maintaining little flings here and there. You have to know when it is appropriate to actually be a little blue pill here and there - the technique of using the purple in a relationship. Having this mentality of just nexting a girl any time some form of argument or crisis arises in between you is just going to harm your ability to lock down a girl who actually has self-confidence and self-respect.

2 upvotesyoucantdenythat4 months ago

People get better at LTRs by being in LTRs

Uh no, your hamster is getting the best of you. Been there, done it all, plate spinning is the best way to develop everything needed to find and keep a good girl.

5 upvotesmoltenw4 months ago

Here's a question for you - why are you looking to fill the void of your mission / purpose with marriage / family?

This dude's not gonna end up alone - he'll always havr himself and full self-control over his actions. What more could a man ask for?

22 upvotes-ThePathIsTheGoal-4 months ago

That’s what I took away from it as well. I think it’s a way of trying to reframe it or getting validation from the community in order to finally quell some uncomfortable feelings that have been around for the last year.

-10 upvotesSelf-honest [OP]4 months ago

Haha what in the fuck?

I thought it was a good example of how to protect your own mating strategy at all costs and being strong enough to walk away for you, not as an attempt to manipulate someone.

5 upvoteszyzzguido554 months ago

Jesus. How are you being downvoted for this comment. Mods need to put the ban hammer on the incels asap

3 upvotesdaveed12974 months ago

Bro you're fine. No one whose opinion you should care about (if anyone at all) is downvoting this. You stating facts that may seem like bragging to incels aren't wrong and aren't autofelatio. They are offended by your words because:

1) their stupid blue pill philosophy forces them to defend women from alphas

2) they're jealous as a result because they can't achieve the same state of fulfillment and wouldn't even imagine that it's possible to have plates so devoted with so little commitment

6 upvotesImperator_Red4 months ago

It’s clearly time hi ban all the incels and cucks. They ruin everything, downvote good posts and comments, upvote retarded ones, and make 75% of the posts, most of which don’t even make sense.

1 upvotesSelf-honest [OP]4 months ago

They have grown so strong in numbers over the past few years. It’s funny.

18 upvotesyoucantdenythat4 months ago

lol, I can't believe this is the top comment, this place has turned purple.

edit: it's removed now, it said something like how OPs mindset was wrong, he probably threw away the best thing that ever happened to him, blah blah blha or something like that... and it had like 100 upvotes... pretty shocking

9 upvotesImperator_Red4 months ago

Yep. I recall a couple months ago someone said that meaningless sex eats your soul or something. I laughed and called the guy a retard with zero understanding of human biology and got like ten downvotes.

5 upvotesyoucantdenythat4 months ago

everyone has their personal preferences, I prefer ltr to be honest, but I don't go around telling others that it is the best way.

i've done the plate spinning and it taught me what I need to know about how to handle a woman in an ltr. Without it I would still be bumbling around wondering why I couldn't find my soul-mate or whatever.

now I have a chick that bangs me every night, gives me almost zero drama, and pays half the bills...

That said, if things change, she will be out on her ass in a second.. I don't need her for anything, I won't ever be put in a position that I do. I live in the constant mindset that I can burn this motherfucker down and walk away and not look back.

34 upvotesJamesSkepp4 months ago

She was ready to commit to you and you essentially shot her down multiple times with zero remorse.

He didn't want to commit, she left b/c that was her requirement. The end. He's better without her (why commit despite not wanting to, breeds resent toward her), she's better without him (why fuck a guy who won't commit when you want to, breeds distrust toward him).

You demonstrate absolute BP mentality with this comment, so does anyone who upvoted this. Commitement is not better (or worse, if done properly) than casual sex, it's different.

You're moralizing about how men should treat commitment as good, morally or ethically and not committing as being a bad person.

1 upvoteswisesw444 months ago

Yes you do have a point here, that if OP may not have been at a place where he was ready to / wanted to commit (as opposed to feeling pressure to not commit to be "RP"), then this defeats the argument. You shouldn't just commit because the other person wants to. Agreed there, as long as you genuinely want to be like that, and aren't just doing it to appease others.

5 upvotesPsycholephant4 months ago

Truth. I understand if he didn't see her as worthy of an LTR. But if he only let her go because he wanted to keep fuckin around then he is just as much of a mindless dopamine junky as cc riders

2 upvotesruffyamaharyder4 months ago

then he is just as much of a mindless dopamine junky as cc riders

That's not true. He was extremely mindful and also honest with the girl.
She took his honesty and made her own choice that she didn't want to take that path and left. Sounds fair to both parties to me.

53 upvotesSelf-honest [OP]4 months ago

Lol. I’m not alone. Everything is great.

Am I the only one who thinks that the reason you're telling us about this almost a year later is that what happened bothers you?


There's nothing in the RP philosophy that dictates that you can't have committed relationships with someone if they're trustworthy and loyal to you.

One little red bit of wisdom I picked up is that, the only woman that’s worthy of commitment is one that would never push for it too early (really at all).

She had not disqualified herself in the first three months and showed a fair amount of promise up to the point that she tried to hold the pussy hostage and wanted exclusivity after we had literally been dating for a matter of weeks.

People can hide their true selves for around 90 days very easily. Then the cracks start to show. Their insecurities take hold. Their true character becomes apparent.

It’s good to withhold commitment until you actually get to know someone at the very least.

40 upvotescaffeinum4 months ago

People can hide their true selves for around 90 days very easily. Then the cracks start to show. Their insecurities take hold. Their true character becomes apparent.

I don't understand why you're calling her insecure? She stated what she wanted, you said you won't give it to her, she left. Seems pretty secure and she-had-her-shit-together kind.

What's the ultimate way the situation should have gone? If she would swallow that and keep continue fucking with you while she clearly wanted some stability and commitment, would you call her weak and incapable of staying for herself?

3 upvotesSelf-honest [OP]4 months ago

I don't understand why you're calling her insecure? She stated what she wanted, you said you won't give it to her, she left. Seems pretty secure and she-had-her-shit-together kind.

She was crying and heartbroken that I hadn’t, on my own, declared my love by vowing exclusivity to her after 10 weeks of fucking once a week.

Sounds crazy to me.

9 upvotesPussyshack4 months ago

Cucks on here trying to paint you in the wrong for not giving exclusivity to a slut shows just how fucked up this sub is now.

1 upvotesGrayFoxs4 months ago

Poor thing you must be retarded. Plenty young kids messaged thanking you ? You must feel proud , just don't cry in pillow thinking of her

1 upvotesSelf-honest [OP]4 months ago

Lol. You’re fun.

-6 upvotestriavatar4 months ago

Tried to pussy whip him. That's the insecurity showing.

1 upvotesWingflier4 months ago

One little red bit of wisdom I picked up is that, the only woman that’s worthy of commitment is one that would never push for it too early or use sex as a weapon.

"Too early" is subjective. For her, it was clearly time to ask for exclusivity. According to your original post, she had already invested quite a bit in the relationship including cooking for you, having sex whenever you wanted, and dropping literally anything for you. I don't know how many months of that you expect, but clearly she was making an effort.

She had not disqualified herself in the first three months and showed a fair amount of promise up to the point that she tried to hold the pussy hostage and wanted exclusivity after we had literally been dating for a matter of weeks.

You say she was holding the pussy hostage, but it seems to me that she was hurt after you expressed zero interest in having a committed relationship with her.

To put things in perspective, if you were gay and using the exact same tone with a guy, I'm sure he'd be equally non-interested in a future relationship with you.

I'm not saying that what you did was wrong, because it's your life. I'm saying that your behavior made it quite clear that you had no intention of settling down, and so she did the high value thing and stopped talking to you. That's not something to be proud of.

24 upvotesSelf-honest [OP]4 months ago

If I was interested in a future with her then I might care, but I’m not focused on a future with anybody but myself.

If a girl wants a future with me, then she will continue to act within the framework I lay out for our interaction. Which includes not pressing for exclusivity. If that doesn’t work for her, she is free to walk.

I know my behavior made that clear. I said I could have handled it differently and kept her spinning for a little while, but the point of the post is that it’s better to look forward and have your shit together so you can keep on being happy and enjoying your life no matter what happens. It’s to be your own mental point of origin. To be selfish.

That's not something to be proud of.

We disagree.

According to your original post, she had already invested quite a bit in the relationship including cooking for you, having sex whenever you wanted, and dropping literally anything for you. I don't know how many months of that you expect, but clearly she was making an effort.

Infinite months of effort.

24 upvotesWhopper_Jr4 months ago

I can agree with both of these lines of thinking

42 upvotesRkih064 months ago

That is the main point to take.

I think he is ignoring, purposely or not to be fair, the amount of self-confidence, work and effort to be able to walk away of something you feel is not enough on your terms.

Even if that might result in some loss. You are confident enough that there are others that will replace her and also, others to replace you.

And there is no problem in that. But it is hard work to be able to do this, and we learn this the hard way.

17 upvotesSelf-honest [OP]4 months ago

Fucking nailed it. Well said.

1 upvotesRPAlias4 months ago

You sound like a Narcissist.

0 upvotesSephar4 months ago

“I can’t have sex with you tonight because I have to go home because I have work in the morning and I can’t have sex with someone if I’m not staying the night.”

This appears to be the problematic bit. If you say this and it is actually true then perhaps it might have been a little harsh to immediately suggest making her leave, but my hunch is that her statement is absolute bullshit and it justifies making her leave. Maybe a comment about it being bullshit would have helped her re-contact and spin the plate for a little while longer because she could have made the connection between her lying and pussy-whipping attempt and the sanction, whereas perhaps now she mistakenly thinks she was ushered out because all she was to you was a wet hole. In any case, it doesn't matter: you have the right mindset--I have been having trouble getting back into the right mindset after a 9-month relationship nearly 2 years ago. It really isn't worth it.

9 upvotesSelf-honest [OP]4 months ago

whereas perhaps now she mistakenly thinks she was ushered out because all she was to you was a wet hole

That’s all she was. I hadn’t known her long enough for her to become anything more than that.

2 upvotesSephar4 months ago

I wonder if that's true. I find it hard to believe that you did not also appreciate her cooking and helping you out with stuff. You probably enjoyed her company to an extent, as well (I don't keep women around whose company I don't enjoy). Whenever a plate breaks I have no regrets, because it's the natural flow of things and it's often not worth putting in the effort that's required to save it, but I won't say there might not be a net-loss on other fronts than just sex when it does. I keep different plates, because I enjoy different kinds of relationships with them and no one new plate entirely replaces the old one. I feel that it's perfectly reconciliable to appreciate different women for their unique qualities, but at the same time not be invested in them emotionally/have any degree of happiness depend on them.

7 upvotesLordFa94 months ago

Ooo the 90 day rule. Sounds familiar

1 upvotesPimpus4 months ago

Everything is great.

Yeah, okay buddy. Your name is extremely ironic.

You are taking this internet "red pill" thing too seriously. Maybe it helps you deal with your obvious psychological problems. But at this rate, you are just going to keep collecting more and more regrets. One day you will realize that you fucked up and that there's no undo button. You will have to live with that realization until you die.

-5 upvotesSelf-honest [OP]4 months ago

I regret nothing. I’m literally just a man, being honest with himself about what he wants, and then living that life.

2 upvotes • [deleted] • 4 months ago

takes two years to fully know them

12 upvotesHumanSockPuppet4 months ago

Read into it all you want. The lesson is still correct. He did the right thing.

3 upvotesSmuggler-Tuek4 months ago

Why would he have remorse for being honest and forthcoming about himself regardless of the consequences? He made it clear what he wants and it’s not “how it’s supposed to work” as the chick thought. Why should he feel bad for anything that he did here?

1 upvotesWingflier4 months ago

My own personal opinion is that he was a total dick about it. She had just bought him a Christmas present (something he felt no obligation to return) and was kindly asking him if they could be exclusive and he shot her down in basically the rudest way possible over and over again.

To put it in perspective, if a woman treated me like he treated her that night, especially if I had put months of effort into the relationship like she clearly had, I wouldn't talk to her again either. She would seem to be a complete ego-driven bitch.

It's not a problem that he wanted to keep dating and fucking around, it's just clear that her feelings mattered none at all to him. Her commitment mattered none at all to him. It's borderline sociopathic. And like I said I think the reason he's telling us about it nearly a year later is because he feels guilty on some level.

3 upvotes22Luika4 months ago

Thank you.

Now i know this subreddit is dead.

You are so blue pill it hurts.

3 upvotesFulp_Piction4 months ago

One plate breaking isn't going to turn anyone into a lonely old man. Treating girls like their pussy is different and special is gonna get you into something much worse.

16 upvotesRedForEducation4 months ago

This forums is for 'mens' sexual strategy. I'm not sure why you're so concerned with womens sexual strategy, but I'm sure 99.9% of the rest of the world will be happy to engage that with you.

It's out of scope.

14 upvotesMarketing_Baboon4 months ago

LTRs can fit into men's sexual strategy. It's difficult and not advised unless well-vetted but it's not 'blue pill'. This has never been out of scope.

Edit: Mod removed the comment for wrongthink, even though it's perspective fit perfectly well in a RP framework. What a disgrace. Ban me mods, please, this sub isn't what it used to be.

5 upvotesyoucantdenythat4 months ago

The wrongthink wasn't that this comment was made by someone who supported LTRs.

It was because the comment was attempting to shame (moralize) the OP for not committing, while shitting on his post (which was a great example of holding frame) and white-knighting the girl (who we know nothing about except what op says).

The comment sounded like a blue-pill guy living his blue-pill fantasy and a bunch of other blue-pill people upvoted (brigade?) him to the top.

TRP doesn't say not to do relationships if that's what someone wants, but OP doesn't want one so why bring that up?

Not saying OP did everything perfectly, but he did it the way that he wanted and has no regrets so it's a good lesson on how to hold frame and not give-in to hers which is something that many people struggle with.

15 upvotesImperator_Red4 months ago

You’re right. This sub isn’t what it used to be. Mods, please ban him.

PS: no one here says you can’t have an LTR if that’s what you want. I have an LTR. We just can’t stand people making absurd comments about finding unicorns, “loyal and trustworthy women,” “meaningless sex,” etc. It’s retarded gynocentric anti-biology bullshit.

3 upvotesMarketing_Baboon4 months ago

Nobody ever said unicorn, they said if vetted properly. Women can be loyal and trustworthy for the right man, just don't expect it to always be that way either. AWALT still applies.

4 upvotesSelf-honest [OP]4 months ago

Right and THIS was a part of the vetting process that she unfortunately did not pass. Because I’m not going to commit to a woman I basically just met, no matter how good she has treated me for a few weeks. And because of that I showed her the door. And she walked out the door. And I closed the door. And I continue to fuck women who are not her and improve my life daily. End of story.

1 upvotesMarketing_Baboon4 months ago

Was it weeks or months? And why is asking for commitment a fail? Is it not more of a red flag if a woman is okay fucking you forever if she's not also having her goals fulfilled? A woman with good priorities has more value.

8 upvotesMcVaghunter4 months ago

what about guys that spend their lives having meaningless sex and also end up alone?

Here we go again, a bunch of pussies afraid growing old alone (and by alone I mean having multiple girls in rotation, yet living alone). You think using a contract will prevent a woman from ever leaving your ass? lol

It's funny what fear can do to a man, I mean shit now you're talking about commitment with "trustworthy and loyal" women, because not AWALT right? Fuck the sidebar I guess.

You... You actually believe TRP is a temporary lifestyle, don't you? JK, you never were red pilled to begin with, I mean what kind of man thinks that enjoying his sexual life, the only life he'll ever have, is considered "meaningless sex"?

Don't worry, they're rhetorical questions. You're not the first blue pilled dude who comes shitting on the mission of this subreddit and gets praised for it.

1 upvotesDisplaceInt4 months ago

Exactly. The OP wasn't actually turning down anything. He'd get the gift-giving version of Sally for 3 months and then she would gradually grow to resent him, while imagining what else she could have. There isn't an option besides fucking other girls, so you might as well fuck other girls.

4 upvotesMcVaghunter4 months ago

It really rustles my jimmies seeing some so called red pilled guys getting hundreds of upvotes when they say that spinning plates is "meaningless sex", implying that TRP lifestyle is temporary, that at one point in the future we should come back to our senses, embrace the rational blue pilled lifestyle, and find something "meaningful", aka a monogamous relationship with the special woman.

4 upvotesImperator_Red4 months ago

It’s really getting out of control.

2 upvotesCasanova-Quinn4 months ago

but what about guys that spend their lives having meaningless sex and also end up alone?

You should read The Myth of the Lonely Old Man by Rollo. Here's an excerpt:

The man who is comfortable with himself and confident in his true independence is the one that women will want to be associated with and to share in it. How you handle being alone and what you do with the opportunities that freedom allows is the real measure of a man. If you’re single and 50 you STILL have options if you’re only brave enough to explore them. I know divorced men in their 50s who’re dating mid 30s women right now and I know men in their 60s who’ve been trapped and emotionally blackmailed by their wives for 30 years. Mariage is no insulation from the sexual marketplace.

1 upvotesWingflier4 months ago

I agree with Rollo in principle, but loneliness is not black and white. Even if a chick is fucking a dozen dudes at a time, it's not unreasonable at all to assume that she feels very alone. Because the cure to loneliness is not sex. Meaningful relationships take time, and like anything in life, if they're healthy, the more you invest in them the more they grow.

I think TRP is incredibly useful for expanding your field of opportunities dramatically enough that you can find meaningful relationships worth investing in, as opposed to being stuck with the miserable cunt who was your only option. Rollo can say whatever he wants, eventually all these famous PUAs settle down.

2 upvotesCasanova-Quinn4 months ago

My takeaway from Rollo is that "loneliness" shouldn't be a factor in deciding to be in a relationship. You shouldn't settle for or stay in a relationship out of fear of "ending up alone". If you find a great women to have a relationship with, that's fine.

1 upvotesManOfTheTimes4 months ago

No they don't.....if they're smart.

2 upvotesImperator_Red4 months ago

252 upvotes. This is pathetic. I don’t know why I even come here anymore.

The mods work hard but the endless injection of blue pilled gynocentric seeks unstoppable.

If he doesn’t want to commit, he doesn’t fucking have to commit. The only reason a man should even think about committing is if he’s ready to have kids.

3 upvotesyoucantdenythat4 months ago

yeah it's like bizarreo world today. the comment was removed, now it's back and getting upvotes again

1 upvotesAreOut4 months ago

Be sure she is the girl that turned down bunch of "nice guys" who'd easily commit but stayed with one that was fucking other girls (and she knew that). Not exactly a type of girl you'd want to commit to.

1 upvoteswisesw444 months ago

I would generally agree, I would say one thing though- for a girl to be "LTR" worthy, she needs to fully be LTR worthy. Talk the talk, and walk the walk. She needs to be a decent girl. If she acts loyal but has a history of gaming guys and sleeping around, I would be skeptical. If she has no history of that, it would be unfair to treat her like that. Girls that have not lived that life should not be treated like whores, that's my mentality on it. She can't have her cake and eat it too, but if she never even started going down that path, IMO she is off-limits to treat like a whore. It's fair game to treat whores like whores though. We have to keep in mind, that yes women can be rotten, but so can men. It is our job as men though, to go about life in a honorable and moral way. If women keep on a good path, then she may get to be with you as the prize. Otherwise she is not worthy.

But this does make a bit of an assumption though, that OP's ladyfriend was like this. We don't know what she was really like, or the backstory of it.

1 upvotesKingOfAllWomen4 months ago

We make fun of chicks for riding the cock carousel and then ending up cat ladies, but what about guys that spend their lives having meaningless sex and also end up alone?

Do we know OP's age and situation?

If you are like 30-35 ok this becomes a serious thing to think about if you want kids and what not.

If he's like 22 and in the best shape of any guy in town it's ludicrous to chide him for having an IDGAF attitude about Sally.

68 upvotesliberules4 months ago

plate didn't just break. you threw it on the ground.

read rollo's article on ultimatums. ultimatums are an admission -- whoever is making them is powerless. she gave you an ultimatum. you responded incorrectly. you don't supplicate to it, but you don't do what you did (overt rejection of the ultimatum). hell, you don't even use overt communication with women. that's why she walked.

the sidebar also has plenty of materials on how to properly handle the DTR discussion, even with example lines to say. this is why most posts in this sub nowadays are garbage. no one reads the damn sidebar anymore.

20 upvotesTwentyEighteen4 months ago

People on this board will agree with anything as long as it’s written in a self congratulatory manner like the OP.

1 upvotesSelf-honest [OP]4 months ago

plate didn't just break. you threw it on the ground.

Haha indeed. It’s a pretty liberating act. I highly recommend it.

Like I’ve said, you learn through action. But I built a lot of self confidence by sending her on her way and not giving an inch.

Do I handle it differently now? Yes. If I want the girls to stick around.

I have had many realizations over the past year along my journey.

3 upvotesliberules4 months ago

not saying to give her an inch. you can stand firmly while still getting her to slob your pole. read the sidebar.

0 upvotesSelf-honest [OP]4 months ago

I know. I have many times. You’re missing the point.

3 upvotesHviterev4 months ago

Sounds like cognitive dissonance to me but you do you.

1 upvotesJaimeGoldenhand4 months ago

What should he have done? I’ve read Rollo’s article on ultimatums, and the theory behind the problem of giving ultimatums makes sense. I understand the difference in setting boundaries. But in a practical sense, I still don’t understand how OP could’ve handled this better

9 upvotesliberules4 months ago

when she first asked if he's fucking anyone his response should be "what like this week? 1, 2, 3, 4, [fingers moving in the air], carry the 7, hmmm, yeah, 3,927,943."

if she continued to push the define-the-relationship nuclear shit test, he should just say, "i know this is an emotional time for you right now. let's talk about it another time, and just enjoy the moment." if she presses further, "i'm not discussing this right now." if she really really was attached to him, she's not going to walk away.

instead, he effectively slammed the door on her desires. you never give a girl a straight answer with overt communication. ever.

4 upvotesSelf-honest [OP]4 months ago

instead, he effectively slammed the door on her desires. you never give a girl a straight answer with overt communication. ever.

Correct. Definitely made an error but I was honestly not in a place where I was thinking about commitment. I laughed. And fumbled through my words. It was obvious I did not care. I handle it much better these days.

1 upvotesPowerUpTheLighthouse4 months ago

This comment just made all of this make sense. It felt like the way the original story unfolded was cold as shit, and something felt detached about it. No offense. Which is why I felt sympathetic for the girl. However, if it were executed in the proper way, it would’ve been more like DARE, The humorous D for deflect, AAAAA Amusedly Agree And Absurdly Amplify, Repeat, if not effective then Exit the situation... until next time. I like how you said to “never give a girl a straight answer with overt communication.” Because that’s when the four horseman of a woman’s wrath come out to play. That’s when we lose. Like OP lost in this story. Technically. No matter how much he claims he didn’t, he lost her. And somewhere inside that’s an L. A win would be actually boldly telling her to kick rocks. Not getting ghosted while waiting to see what happens next.

2 upvotesliberules4 months ago

the reality is that even if you're literally paying $0 to keep her attention, and she's only coming to your place ever, you're still investing time into her... your most precious and yet irredeemable commodity. you spend money, you make money, but you spend time, you can never make more time. the approach OP used slammed the accounting books closed on all investments he's ever made in this girl. if you dangle her indefinitely, there's a significant chance you get way more ROI out of this girl.

also, all of this is in the sidebar. people need to really read that shit.

1 upvotesFulp_Piction4 months ago

What would have been the correct thing to do?

2 upvotesliberules4 months ago

see below on one of the child comments of the same thread. pretty sure this is one of the subs that ban crosslinking to even the same sub.

1 upvotesthemidwestcowboy3 months ago

Where can I read Rollos article?

46 upvotesASAP_FuRi4 months ago

I always wonder on here if it’s abundance mentality, or excessive mentality.

Seems often the focus here is quantity of pleasure, rather than quality.

Maybe that’s because I still believe in committing to someone, maybe I haven’t been burned hard enough yet.

12 upvotesBrownGummyBear4 months ago

The only person I commit to is myself by working on my personal mission in life

1 upvotesbumbuff4 months ago

Even if you're married, you're still the only one looking after yourself overall.

The rules don't really change if you're a married RP. If you're married and did it right she's the one that needs to upkeep her value to keep you interested enough.

7 upvotesBusterVadge4 months ago

I'm an older guy and in my younger days I valued commitment. The only good thing that came out of it was my amazing kids, so no regrets over that one. But I truly do regret committing to a string of women rather than spinning plates. I've still got a lot of life left in me and I feel like I'm making up for what was lost then, now. At my age it'll be too late for the men who no longer have their health and that's sad.

Trust me, abundance mentality is WAY better than commitment unless you're trying to start a family. Even then, like in my case, a marriage doesn't usually work out long term.

If you're young spin plates, create the best body and health that you can, and kick ass at your career. You can always settle down later.

3 upvotesPlatinumHands4 months ago

I would agree with you, commitment.

1 upvotesAHigherBeing4 months ago

Probably dodged a bullet or the love or your life .50/59

-20 upvotesSelf-honest [OP]4 months ago

Lol gayyyeeee. I’m the love of my life.

But seriously, I believe I dodged an emotionally unstable bullet.

22 upvotesAHigherBeing4 months ago

Yea. Why buy the cow when the milk is free? You already fucked. You got the best thing most relationship build up to just get. You guys skipped a whole emotional step before sex. Being with her would be backwards

13 upvotesSelf-honest [OP]4 months ago

Yep. We did fuck on the first night.

1 upvotesAHigherBeing4 months ago

Never wife a first nighter. You don’t wanna walk around with her. Other men probably fucked first night and there you are buying shit, wifing her. Dealing with emotional arguments. Meanwhile the guy that fucked ain’t dealing with that and just walks by casually, single af, on to new bitches.

The only girl I want to emotional be with is a girl who makes me earn the pussy. That way I know it’s more of a percentage others guys didn’t fuck easy also. They probably just gave up on her also because she was too hard. Too hard = good value sometimes

34 upvotesfaceless304 months ago

Same girl who make it hard same fucked other guy after 5 minutes of knowing him

14 upvotesgood_guy_submitter4 months ago


They are all sluts. Their willpower is only as strong as your frame.

That said, the lower her count the better the odds of her keeping her legs closed.

1 upvotesboofXANAXeveryday4 months ago

Never wife a first nighter anyone. The risks are too high and there are no advantages

29 upvotesMarvelousWhale4 months ago

Flawed logic.

Never wife a first nighter? All girls are first nighters my friend...

If you didn't fuck her on the first night (I've slept within the hour so let's get past the whole concept of 'night' as well) you didn't play your cards the best you could have. If you did sleep with her the first night, all that means is that you did what you were expected to, to the letter, and has no meaning on the girl whatsoever.

By your logic, you'd only wife up a girl you didn't play your best game on, but never a girl you put your best foot forward? The fuck?


4 upvotesImperator_Red4 months ago


If she’s making you wait, she’s not that into you. Guarantee she’s fucked other guys casually.

Banged my current ltr on the second date. After she hung her head and said “Damnit, I was planning to wait until the 5th date.”

2 upvotesPhaedrusHunt4 months ago

The amount of downvotes... SMH. Who ARE the lurkers here?

4 upvotesSelf-honest [OP]4 months ago


3 upvotesPhaedrusHunt4 months ago

I get you man. I'm actually married but I know the fucking drill man. AWALT.

2 upvotesImperator_Red4 months ago

The ones making 80% of the posts that barely even make sense.

1 upvotesdopexile4 months ago

"Are you still fucking other girls?"

"Baby, come on now, you know I don't kiss and tell."

31 upvotesSelf-honest [OP]4 months ago

I almost always go that route. It is the best.

17 upvotesswampbastard694 months ago

Right - theres a bit too much autism on here about girls getting turned on when u are fucking other girls - that is true - but it has to be a hamster assumption not a literal truth. If u actually tell her to her face - it becomes a turn off and u become ‘scummy’ (especially if she is post collegr age) She still needs the illusion that u choose her amongst many.

21 upvotesPhaedrusHunt4 months ago

Everyone giving him shit: she had a stone in her bra.

Also, what did she get you for XMas?

15 upvotesSelf-honest [OP]4 months ago

Thank you! She was a bit nuts for many reasons.

She got me habanero infused salt because I love hot peppers.

10 upvotesBielzabutt4 months ago

That's some batshit voodoo/wicca/pagen/astrology shit. Soon as women start talking this crap, any respect I have goes right down the drain.

5 upvotesPhaedrusHunt4 months ago

In the same breath they'll talk about leaving the church they grew up in but then show you their new deck of tarot cards. You can't fix stupid.

2 upvotes • [deleted] • 4 months ago

I mean dude, 99% of them believe in this shit.

1 upvotesGlowInTheDarkDonkey4 months ago

Isn't classy.

End story with:

keep it classy guys.

-7 upvotesSelf-honest [OP]4 months ago

At the very least it’s a story about two people respecting themselves. Sounds classy to me.

42 upvotesserynada4 months ago

beautiful, familiar story. curious tho: what did she get you for christmas!?

58 upvotesSelf-honest [OP]4 months ago

Haha it was actually quite thoughtful. She got me some habanero infused sea salt because she knew how much I enjoyed hot things.

21 upvotesRupturednutsack4 months ago

And by investing the effort in remembering that about you, plus the gift- explains her walking out- almost like the tables were flipped entirely against her. Now she is after you and your SMV, but came to her womanly senses shortly after.

It’s literally almost like this shit writes itself if you stop trying to control everything the girl does and just follow your own rules and do whatever you want

17 upvotesSelf-honest [OP]4 months ago

Yes. It was a good move but it was too much too fast. I wasn’t into it at all. We were just getting to know each other. Slow your roll lady.

5 upvotesRupturednutsack4 months ago

Nah, again you are right to be pleased with how she exited- saves you the trouble of identifying red flags or sniffing them out. But as you’re clearly aware, AWALT and whatever choices they make are In their interest

2 upvotesTantalizingGrapfruit4 months ago

Just like AMALT and whatever choices they make are in their best interest. This isn't groundbreaking, OP just met someone he isn't compatible with so she didn't waste anymore time on him and he no more on her. Why would she slow her roll for him if he won't speed his roll for her? What's this got to do with some secret universal truth?

5 upvotesLion_Of_Mara4 months ago

Haha, they always know what to bring.

14 upvotesProtocol_Apollo4 months ago

Why are so many people trying to shame OP? And why are so of these comments upvoted?

Girl wanted commitment, OP didn’t want to so she left.

OP acted in his self interest, girl acted in hers.

No evil nor harm done.

11 upvotesSelf-honest [OP]4 months ago

Seems pretty normal and healthy to me

8 upvotesSallac4 months ago

Serious q. Are you going to have kids one day? What's your plan for that?

3 upvotesSelf-honest [OP]4 months ago

Not sure if I will or not. If I do, I’ll take as many precautions as possible and accept the challenge.

13 upvotesBACONisKEWLEST4 months ago

Wtf is going on in this thread? We being brigaded by concern trolls or what? The estrogen levels in this place are on the rise.

5 upvotesImperator_Red4 months ago

It’s been getting worse every month.

7 upvotesSelf-honest [OP]4 months ago

Yeah it’s crazy.

I literally told a story about how I laughed at a chick who wanted me to commit after a matter of weeks and I’m somehow a horrible person.

Not even sure why those kind of guys would hang around here in the first place. It’s gross hearing them spout their moralizing.

1 upvotesHowardJRoark4 months ago

Why do I feel like underneath this post you're hurting and thinking about what could have been?

7 upvotesImperator_Red4 months ago

Because you’re a feminized manlet who has been brainwashed by romantic comedies.

9 upvotesneso2254 months ago

Cause you cunts look for a deeper meaning

6 upvotessjswander944 months ago

How the fuck does this get upvotes on the red pill. What could have been? He’s still the prize it’s her loss not his. Fuck.

7 upvotesHowardJRoark4 months ago

I totally get that man, it's the fact he came here and wrote this. The way he he wrote it. The way he wraps up the post.

4 upvotessjswander944 months ago

He ends it with indifference. “ plates break o well life goes on”. That’s exactly how I’d expect a red pill dude to reflect on his past plates. Grateful for the experience yet indifferent to the end result. Still moving forward without ruminating on “what could have been”.

4 upvotesSelf-honest [OP]4 months ago

I’m glad somebody got the point I was trying to get across.

1 upvotes • [deleted] • 4 months ago

[permanently deleted]

1 upvotes • [deleted] • 4 months ago

[permanently deleted]

5 upvotestriavatar4 months ago

Because you still need to grow out of your oneitis.

5 upvotesnixon9934 months ago

Well you know what you want and she knows what she wants.

5 upvotesanicebigrodforyou4 months ago

cool post. Let me ask you, what did you learn and would you do the same thing in that situation again or would have have handled it differently.

4 upvotesSelf-honest [OP]4 months ago

I’ve definitely faced this more recently and handled it a bit differently, but not much.

Current plate who has been promoted to FWB (while on an overnight trip on at a rooftop bar): “Sometimes I wonder if we should just stop seeing each other”

Me: “Right now? Is that what you want to do?”

Of course it wasn’t.

I’ve learned to have feelings for them and embrace it. I’ve learned to show them the door and let them walk if they want. I’ve learned that playing things close to the chest is better than rubbing it in their face.

“I don’t just commit to people very easily, but I really like having you in my life.”

1 upvotesmeat-slinger4 months ago

see, still explaining. you could say: "i really like what we have going on?but why are you in a hurry to label/define it?"

6 upvotesCaptainBW4 months ago

Just experienced that last month. That’s just how it goes sometimes; plate breaking isn’t always clean, and doesn’t need to end with closure. Just a reality which comes with the lifestyle. Don’t know why there’s so many butthurt blue pill comments in this thread lol “YoU sHouLd hAvE cOmMitTed bRo !!”

5 upvotesSelf-honest [OP]4 months ago

“YoU sHouLd hAvE cOmMitTed bRo !!”

Haha man it is beyond me how that is the consensus

5 upvotesmette134 months ago

Nothing wrong with this post at all. Her tears were merely a façade to draw you in and you didn't fall for it. Good job.

5 upvotesMatSapientia4 months ago

It’s understandable that she left. She had her priorities clear. It’s a powerful thing. Though it does sting even if OP hesitantly denies it. Feminine women are the most sneaky. They submit to you fully and you think you have everything under control until she breaks out of your frame and you realize that you can’t stop the pain as simple as having the next plate.

It’s understandable that you let her disappear, if you were to call her again, you’d have to deal with an even more difficult frame recovery. Especially if she gives you the next wave of shit in a short time.

I think where you probably failed is that you were DEERing a plate in a way only suitable for an LTR. You didn’t DARE her. It’s not necessarily a weakness of your frame or lack of options, part of you wanter to LTR her. But her disappearance raised a reminding warning of previous experiences. And you decided to let her break even though you wished she’d call back.

Your priorities are also clear, so you let her disappear. It hurts, but cutting losses is better than extra pain you don’t want to have.

5 upvotesTapirboy944 months ago

WTF is this thread. Why is OP downvoted for his reasonable stance?

5 upvoteswhatsthisgarg4 months ago

holy shit what a bunch of losers

Guy puts up a post with a very simple point about abundance mentality and outcome independence -- two of the most important and primary and so ironically most overlooked (hence motivation for the post) elements of TRP: should be easy.

In the post: woman places unreasonable conditions on future access to her un-unique hidden charms. Guy has other options and laughs. End of story.

Message to readers: maybe you're not there yet, but this is what abundance is like, it's a wonderful feeling, and it's a worthy goal, work for it.


In the comments:

20% got it. Maybe half of those got it because they have experienced it, and half got it because they have what's called reading comprehension. Well done.

20% (including some ECs ffs, yes, are there so many losers in that population?) said you "left ass on the table," and you could have intercoursed this non-special, imminently replaceable female 3 or 4 more times had you not flubbed your response. In other words, they totally missed the message.

20% focussed on how they thought you were still hung up on this chick, because you mentioned it happened at some time in the past, exhibiting their own lack of abundance. IE, missed the message.

20% predicted you would die lonely and alone LOL because you rejected this chick who had weird, out-of-place demands for you (like you should only have sex once a week and only with her because that's what she wants). To be charitable to these clowns, they are saying you will die lonely and alone because you will reject a series of women who have presumptuous and silly and uncompensated demands on you. Even worse. Also missing the message.

20% wanted to know and ONLY wanted to know what the gift was / what the weirdo stone in her bra was. In this case I will say maybe half got the message and were just mucking about and having a laugh, and the other half were total dweebs who really thought this was just a story and you left out the important part, IE missed the message.

In sum, perhaps 70% of commenters offered, in a post about abundance mentality and outcome independence, testimonials of personal non-abundance and massive outcome-dependence, and advocated that you should adopt their attitudes.

That sound you heard some time in the last year was the tanking of a sub.

3 upvotesSelf-honest [OP]4 months ago

Lol accurate breakdown as always, man.

Message to readers: maybe you're not there yet, but this is what abundance is like, it's a wonderful feeling, and it's a worthy goal, work for it.

It seemed so positive and uplifting to me.

1 upvotesstr4ightforw4rd3 months ago

I'm just curious: what's the gift she gave to you that xmas? lmao

1 upvotesSaveTheRhinos4 months ago

This post is OP trying to get reassurance that he did the right thing despite feeling empty after a years worth of other plates. The "I'm the good time" will end after you're sick and alone because you fucked off good girls thinking that spinning plates held all of life's answers. That's why so many other RP fellas in here called you out on it.

18 upvotestriavatar4 months ago

wtf??? Since when is the objective of TRP to get every guy who takes the pill in an LTR with his one and only?? Is there another subreddit leaking on here?

9 upvotesPhaedrusHunt4 months ago

I made a similar comment about lurkers. Oh well, it is what it is. Using RP to fulfill BP dreams is still BP

13 upvotesSelf-honest [OP]4 months ago


I made this post for guys who keep hanging on to one special girl. And I made it for guys who have not yet designed their own lives to show them that you can be in control of your own happiness.

5 upvotesanicebigrodforyou4 months ago

dude, no matter what you post in this sub, some toxic know it all will attack you for it.

5 upvotesthe_king_of_NoFap4 months ago

“Sick & alone”. As if your kids are gonna forever be your side. & as if you & your wife won’t get sick & old together not be able to help your own self forget about helping the wifey. In my plan, I’m about to help so many young lads & my sister’s lads and spoil them w money, love & career and emotionally manipulate them so that they stand by my “needy” days when I need them like my own sons would have. I also have childhood best male friends, I also don’t drink or smoke & I workout 4 days a week, with meditation 3 days a week & a hormone free organic diet to avoid “sick” times as much as possible. Also, science is progressing so fast that sickness will become way less prevalent in coming times.

3 upvotesanicebigrodforyou4 months ago

so many blue pilled cucks in here

18 upvotespacjax4 months ago

sometimes it really does just end extremely abruptly like that.

knowing female nature she had another man lined up should u not give in to her ultimatum (or whatever that was.)

I dont think you handled that question correctly though.

36 upvotesSelf-honest [OP]4 months ago

Light switch effect is crazy.

knowing female nature she had another man lined up should u not give in to her ultimatum.


I dont think you handled that question correctly though

Definitely shouldn’t have laughed at her and should have found a way to not rub it in her face.

The point of the post is that it really doesn’t matter. You learn by doing and making mistakes.

The other point is that your effort is always better spent securing new pussy than trying to salvage the old.

7 upvotessmirk_addict4 months ago

You were too kind to respond that. There is no “correct” way. And by critiquing how you handled that, he completely missed the point of the post..

31 upvotesRadkin0094 months ago

Ah finally some good fucking food from another RP that knows what the fuck he’s doing. Kudos.

14 upvotesSelf-honest [OP]4 months ago

Eat up, the second course will be ready soon.

4 upvotesusernameagain24 months ago

What was in the present.

4 upvotessootlord4 months ago

This was such pro level right here. Thanks for the inspiration man!

4 upvotesNotAscythe4 months ago

You deserve better, good for you

2 upvotesSelf-honest [OP]4 months ago

Ayyyeeee, thanks man! Haha

5 upvotesFedor-Gavnyukov4 months ago

ha, i had similar shit happen with a plate. we met on tinder and the first time we met, within 5 minutes i had my dick in her mouth in her apartment. the sex was great, she was a nice little subbie that did whatever i wanted. i had her as my main squeeze for about 3 months. then she hits me with this boyfriend shit and i'm like yo we barely know each other outside of crazy sex, give it some time (although i wouldn't do LTR with someone that let me smash within minutes of meeting for the first time). all i wanted is sex, but she caught feelings and it pretty much ended kind of like yours. she said she wanted to take a break and i'm like ok. never heard from her. but i do have ton of videos from our time together haha

10 upvotes • [deleted] • 4 months ago

weird flex but okay

Also, wtf was her gift? you can't just pull a JJ Abrams mystery box like that

6 upvotesSelf-honest [OP]4 months ago

Haha it was just a social experiment to see how many people would ask about the gift. You are in the 1% my friend.

She bought me habanero infused salt because I love hot peppers.

1 upvotes • [deleted] • 4 months ago

telling a story with a setup that doesn't payoff is not a "social experiment"

6 upvotesmickenrorty4 months ago

You made the right move. Be honest though, you’ve been down this road before with less resolve.

I only know you nailed it from the hardest hardest learnt lessons

12 upvotesSelf-honest [OP]4 months ago


Man, the times I’ve fucked this up.... been manipulated.... committed anyway.... scarcity mindset.... and that entire cycle.

6 upvotesAnneStaz4 months ago

yeah but what was under the bra

10 upvotesSelf-honest [OP]4 months ago

Some smooth stone that she was hoping would bring her good luck with her pre-meditated power move.

4 upvotesImperator_Red4 months ago

I had a chick break out an 8 inch thick hyper-detailed book on astrology once after we banged, and just started casually flipping through the pages showing me things. This thing was like an encyclopedia. She’s just talking and flipping pages as if this was a perfectly normal thing that everyone believes, and why wouldn’t I show you my astrology book right now?

3 upvotesSelf-honest [OP]4 months ago

Yeah, this one was into reading vampire and witch fantasy novels and had a fair amount of stones and things.

1 upvotesAnneStaz4 months ago

Is this a true story, or some weird fable

4 upvotesSelf-honest [OP]4 months ago

True. Lol. Can’t make this shit up.

3 upvotesAnneStaz4 months ago

that's fucking hilarious man.

you were the one, you are a 7th aligned libra and i am a moonstar aquarius... we were meant for each other.

I knew I should have waited until mars was in retrograde.

1 upvotesJusticeOfZeus4 months ago

The other angle, of course, is that you were just one of her relationship plates, and once you proved you were incompatible with her goals, she hard nexted you. That's not intended as a criticism, just an insight into women's psychology, especially in respect to Briffault's Law. High-quality women have enough options that you are just one of them.

6 upvotesSelf-honest [OP]4 months ago

Totally agree. I think she expected me to reach out. As I expected her to. In a kind of “whoever speaks first loses” situation. But the holidays happened and the new year passed and I just didn’t give a fuck.

3 upvotesZachMeadows4 months ago

What bothers me is : What was the gift she got you ?

Maybe it was answered elsewhere but can't find the answer.

2 upvotesSelf-honest [OP]4 months ago

She got me habanero infused salt because she knew I like hot things.

1 upvotesptmeetssandc4 months ago

This is taking the redpill and turning it into poison. I did this kind of shit my entire college career and do guys admire how many hot girls I've had sex with? Yeah, sure. It's cool, I have a lot of cool stories and I have built myself up. But I'm still alone-seeing girls I've hooked up with doing really cool things and thinking "wow, how did I let this stupid community poison me into thinking I HAD to be alpha all the time, couldn't have any vulnerabilities, and it was emasculating to want to settle down" If this really happened and you're not just saying what you're supposed to say as a red pill man, you're going to look back eventually and wonder why the fuck you let someone who would obviously move worlds for you go, let alone completely destroying their self esteem. Sure, some bitches deserve to be treated like this. We all know the type. But this girl is a case of you're a fucking douchebag and you took all the tools of redpill to hurt someone because you're secretly insecure as fuck and think you don't deserve something like that so you hide behind repill theory to fuck it up.

3 upvotesSelf-honest [OP]4 months ago

Her feelings are fluid. Her attraction would decrease the second I became exclusive.

Not to mention the rest of the story.

5 upvotesruffyamaharyder4 months ago

Dude, you could have put a magical stone in your undies and she would have loved you for ever and ever!

4 upvotesSelf-honest [OP]4 months ago

OMG you’re right! I’m such an idiot.

3 upvotesconfusedpirate6664 months ago

You are the camp that inspires me to keep spinning !!

3 upvotesRed_Pill_Brotherhood4 months ago

This is refreshing to see. Good on you holding your frame.

9 upvotescatsdontsmile4 months ago

Am I the only one here who doesn't have a lot of interest in fucking many girls?

I get why you have to spin plates, to avoid scarcity mentality. That I agree.

But if you aren't fucking others, and you like this chick and she wants to be exclusive sounds like less effort than looking for new plates

1 upvotesSpeedracer11114 months ago

Great story, this piece makes me laugh.

I have feelings for you......and I’m not fucking other guys because I want to be with you.

Doubt you need this knowledge, but for many other TRP guys, don't feel sorry for her.

It's what she doesn't say, lieing by omission, or immediately add on "at/in this moment" to their statement.

At a minimum, she has orbiters and is dating other guys.

More likely, she is at least sucking other guys off. Or the other guys are fucking her, but she isn't fucking them.

And finally, at this moment, she isn't fucking other guys. Amazing how that hamster works.

8 upvotesSelf-honest [OP]4 months ago

Haha good work, sir. That is correct.

2 upvotesBielzabutt4 months ago

Exactly, this mostly likely means, "I'm not fucking other guys on the same days that I fuck you"

5 upvotesImperator_Red4 months ago

It’s just, I have feelings for you......and I’m not fucking other guys because I want to be with you. And you don’t feel that way about me. That’s how it’s supposed to work. If you feel that way about somebody, then you don’t want to be with other people.”

That’s how it works for them, not us. We are perfectly capable of loving multiple women. The only reason men historically submitted to monogamy is because it was necessary for society to function, and because women also agreed to sacrifice their hypergamy through marriage. It was a fair trade. Both sides sacrificed a part of their biological imperative, and when everyone did this it allowed society to flourish.

But now there are no longer any controls in place on female hypergamy. She can leave you any time she wants, for any reason or no reason or at all. So tell me again what we’re supposed to sacrifice our biological imperative for?

6 upvotesHumbleEngineer4 months ago

"Look guys I definitely do not care even though I'm writing about it one year later"

Commitment life is good, if your partner is good to you and you are good to your partner.

Yes, you lose somethings. But you also gain a lot, too. Don't be stupid. Marriage may be a trap to some people but it's still a thing nowadays because it works, if the people in it are trying to make it work and care for each other. And those people exist. Don't try to be a fuckin misanthrope, there's nothing much to gain from it. Put the anger to work, do not indulge in it.

5 upvotesKasplazm4 months ago

These weak ass comments are demonstrative of the state of this subreddit. Where are the mods on this shit?

4 upvotesSelf-honest [OP]4 months ago

Hopefully they are just letting it bake for a while to get everyone to out themselves before they hit it hard.

1 upvotestet_suo4 months ago

And from his death bed, alone, he looked back on all the pus he crushed, all gym gainz he made, and all the awesome RP posts he posted and pumped his fist one final time.

9 upvotesPowerUpTheLighthouse4 months ago

Does it mean I am still blue pilled if I felt some sympathy for the girl in your story? And if so, what are my next steps to “fixing” myself?

28 upvotesentrep44 months ago

No, it means you're just not a psychopath. Nothing wrong with sympathy or empathy as long as you have it under control rather than it controlling you.

11 upvotesSelf-honest [OP]4 months ago

She was doing all the things she was doing to try to secure commitment. It all comes from a selfish place. Just because her attempts didn’t work doesn’t mean you should feel sorry for her.

She wants a guy to take care of her and provide for her. If she wants a quality man, she will have to invest more time before he is willing to commit.

6 upvotesNexusReflexX4 months ago

So what is the point of this post?

11 upvotesSelf-honest [OP]4 months ago

When you design your life the way you want, it’s easy to cut women loose and replace them without a second thought when they don’t behave the way you would like them to.

No wasting time and energy trying to get them to act a certain way. No giving in to their pleas for commitment. No compromise. No fucks given.

4 upvotesNexusReflexX4 months ago

You're writing a post about A single girl, you saw for 3 months, over a year ago. To say something thats in the sidebar.

Thats the part im trying to understand.

6 upvotesSelf-honest [OP]4 months ago

It clearly wasn’t written for you.

There are plenty of guys on here who haven’t experienced this level of self confidence to just walk away from something that isn’t quite up to all of your standards. It’s an example for them. Something to aspire to.

If you want to tear me down, knock yourself out.

4 upvotesNexusReflexX4 months ago

But theres no lesson here. You told a girl you dont want commitment after she said she did and you stopped seeing each other.

I can understand, maybe, guys would reluctantly join in on an exclusive relationship, sure.

But you didnt do anything.

Tearing you down? How so?

7 upvotesSelf-honest [OP]4 months ago

It’s an example of someone being hit with “the talk.” Which is something anyone here with any value will go through. Examples are important.

I feel like there are only examples where things go horribly wrong or work out perfectly, but I wanted to highlight for guys without much experience that this happens too.

I did a lot good, and could have handled it perfectly, and we still may never have spoken again. It’s teaching that the mindset I had allowed me to know what I wanted and make sure I got it one way or another. Which is the entire point of TRP. Not being pressured or manipulated into supporting the female’s mating strategy. Being aware of what’s going on.

Posting it opens up dialogue.

But you didnt do anything.

This is precisely why I’m hoping my target audience will learn to do, absolutely nothing. Let them walk away. Stay focused on making your life awesome. Allow the women to come and go as they please.

3 upvotesNexusReflexX4 months ago

Yah man. I was just having you elaborate. For me, i learn more from most comments then post themselves. Im sure others are like that as well.

2 upvotesRedpiller774 months ago

You wouldn't be getting this much pushback if you had executed better. But hey, it happens to the best of us I guess.

3 upvotesSelf-honest [OP]4 months ago

It’s a journey. I’m much smoother now. But the ultimate point was that it didn’t matter.

2 upvotesnatedog28284 months ago

What she get you for Christmas?

1 upvotesSelf-honest [OP]4 months ago

Habanero infused salt because I love me some hot peppers.

2 upvotesfender18784 months ago


How you going to leave us hanging like that?!

3 upvotesSelf-honest [OP]4 months ago

Haha it was very thoughtful. Habanero infused salt since I love hot peppers.

2 upvotesSeasonedRP4 months ago

Girls who want to commit quickly also tend to get bored and go cold quickly and start looking for someone different. I think you made the right move in not agreeing to exclusivity. There are other ways you could have handled to keep the plate spinning longer, but it sounds like you didn't want that.

2 upvotesPerplexingPegasus_4 months ago

Funny how the universe works, this post pops up right before I make the conscious decision of dropping a plate.

2 upvotesJudgementalChair4 months ago

but... but... but... What did she get you for Christmas?!

2 upvotesreddick14 months ago

It's a good example of manipulation from the female side. You were clear with your intentions. She acted like she was in love with you and is your perfect girl. But as soon as you didn't give in to her demand, she flipped the switch just like that and was out of there.

I don't believe that she never contacted you again though. Had to be at least some texts or a phone call, unless she had asked multiple times before already.

2 upvotesFaP_corleone4 months ago

That post epitomizes the wholeness of the universe. Fuckin boss shit.

2 upvotesn0oo74 months ago

Boy This is interesting discourse over here.

2 upvotesuwey4 months ago

Ready to walk out at any moments in life. I drop a 3 year plate for similar reason.

I have to occasionally bulk delete my contacts.

Life move on. Sometime you wonder what they do when you not fuck them. They get old, maybe find some sucker to married. I don’t know and I don’t care.

I committed to no one but my own maximum happiness. You don’t have to do the same, but I will always be the cool uncle show up at family reunions have cool gf all the time and told wildest story.

One day I want die along, with million pussy memories and maybe lots of kids that never met me as their biological father.

Life is a bitch.

2 upvotesOrionJ714 months ago

I understand why you don’t want to commit given that your relationship was only three months old. I don’t blame her either for ghosting you because she’s probably concerned about her future and wants to settle down and start a family before her window closes. She’s probably going to describe you as a jerk and asshole to her friends and family without accepting any responsibility herself. Now she’s probably running around messed up and with a heavy baggage looking for compromises (nice guy). What are her options really? If she keeps hopping from one guy to another, she’s labeled a slut besides other things. Even a good woman from a decent background can get sucked in a downward spiral if she makes a few mistakes. Maybe the western culture should adopt arranged marriages and custom tailor it. Just kidding, as with any relationship, it doesn’t always work.

2 upvotesjaviercer204 months ago

What’s all that fucking corny explanation you gave her?? Women can look through that shit, they know when you care too much.

She thought you were a real man and even bought you a present, but she realized she had control over you when you tried to convince her that your a real PLAYER and there will be no commitment.

It wasn’t about you being monogamous with her, it was about to see if you had enough balls to not care about the present and still hold your ground as a man and laugh when she asked you: “ Are you fucking other girls?” She was seeking for the ultimate tingles, for heaven and you failed.

2 upvotesSelf-honest [OP]4 months ago

Don’t disagree. The point is, I did it that way, it ended in that result, and it doesn’t really matter. Take away shit and learn, but always have your focus right and be moving forward.

2 upvotesKratom_Dumper4 months ago

I have a specific rule for life.

There will always be one person that cheats in a relationship (studies shows this), the question is up to decide whether it will be you cheating or your girl.

2 upvotesMiakodasky4 months ago

Honestly, so fucking what she left! No ties at all, Next!

1 upvotesSelf-honest [OP]4 months ago

Exactly. Sounds good to me.

2 upvotesamphix3394 months ago

I missed guys like you on this sub, keep killing it brother

3 upvotesmotinutz4 months ago

That’s exactly what I needed to hear.

4 upvotesFrich34 months ago

The next man will appreciate her willingness to stick to her own ethics. Good for her. And good for you for not gaf. She just wasn’t it for you and that’s cool

3 upvotesSelf-honest [OP]4 months ago

There’s a reasonable response. Good job.

2 upvotesLondonFox-jr4 months ago

Yes. It's a win for you and win for her. Setting your own boundaries and sticking hard to them removes all the unnecessary bullshit and drama. You had your boundaries and she had hers. Even if you let her down gently and spun her longer, think of how much messier things could have gotten. I think your bluntness actually saved you some drama. And some people are into the drama, spices things up. Not me. Honesty and being upfront will save your precious time and energy

Point of the post is "stick to your guns" at all costs to be more efficient with relationships and to remain in your frame.

5 upvotesRedLegendx4 months ago

I think the reason why she stopped coming back was because you came at her rough as fuck, like you the ultimate Terminator type of shit, should have worded it better than “I’m not gonna stop fucking other girls” like damn, calm down Casanova.

2 upvotesSelf-honest [OP]4 months ago

Hahahaha yep. Love and learn. It’s called a journey for a reason.

Great comment.

1 upvotesxnesteax4 months ago

like damn, calm down Casanova.

What should he have done then? If he said the thing I quoted, like he said he could have just extended the plate. If he wasn't looking for commitment, this was the only outcome apart from being able to keep the plate a little longer

1 upvotesyoucantdenythat4 months ago

he should have read the side bar there is alot of ways to handle this without breaking the plate

2 upvotesxnesteax4 months ago

I assume he did read the sidebar.

This nothing more than a classical "The Talk TM" scenario. You can push the "deadline" for the Talk a few times but eventually she will get tired of your games and you'll have to decide.

3 upvotesyoucantdenythat4 months ago

I haven't read that lately, but my strategy for this usually pressure-flip.

I start with just joking a little about those kind of questions. I act startled then grin and say something like "too soon!!!!!!!"

if she keeps pressuring my next go-to is "I'm having so much fun with you and really enjoy our time together, I wouldn't want to ruin it by rushing things too quickly."

She'll ask if I even want a relationship, my answer is of course I do, we're all looking for the perfect person that can fulfill us, you might be the one, but I want to be sure. (spoiler, they are not the one, perfect person doesn't exist, but can't hurt to keep looking!)

A month or two later she'll start persisting again, I then have a "vulnerable moment" and explain how I've been burned before. I thought I was right before, more than once, but then I was burned, she didn't care for me she was only using me, etc.. I think what we have is special but I want to make sure I'm not making the same mistakes again..."

This will only work if you are generally stoic and almost never show vulnerability. If you only let vulnerability peek through on a rare occasion, they will eat it up and it keeps the plate spinning... for awhile...

60% of the time this stuff works every time.

Your frame needs to be of the strong mindset that "she seems like the perfect girl but I'm just not 100% sure, she needs to show me how she's different than the others." if she's attracted to you, she will double her efforts to try to win you. If not... bye bye

1 upvotesjaznex4 months ago

yes, OP clearly has some issues. it's like he made his mission the wrong TRP advices.

0 upvotesRedLegendx4 months ago

Almost gave me sociopathic vibes tbh.

5 upvotesSelf-honest [OP]4 months ago

A guy who looks out for his interests. Oh nooooooo. Head for the hills.

1 upvotesRedLegendx4 months ago

I mean, you left ass on the table for no reason.

3 upvotesSelf-honest [OP]4 months ago

And it doesn’t matter at all. Life goes on. Mine didn’t skip a beat.

1 upvotesRedLegendx4 months ago

You’re trying so hard to tell everyone that you’re fine but that’s not even the point here. Like okay dude you’re the ultimate fucking alpha, better than James Bond n shit, right, fucking next ruler of the world. Hooray.

What I’m saying is the reason why “red pill” is getting such a bad rep is because most of people be straight up acting like they got some mental health issue. I guarantee you’d probably still be fucking her if you would have either changed the subject or covertly told her you wouldn’t stop seeing other women, instead of smearing it on her face. The situation could have been managed way better and 100% she would still be around.

1 upvotesjaznex4 months ago

exactly. scary thing when sociopaths have powerful tools at their disposal .

2 upvotesImperator_Red4 months ago

Lol you guys are fucking faggots 😂

3 upvotesesirnus184 months ago

Had similar thing happen to me at the beginning of summer this year (so not to say that will never contact me again) Met this nice looking blonde at a bar and hooked up the same night. Next few days she came over just for fucking, after some texting i offered genuine help with her English (I grew up in the U.S and now live in my birth country in Europe) so she came usually on Mondays and we actually spoke english i was teaching her the correct pronunciation and stuff. Then by end of lesson she would start kissing me and we would fuck like crazy. This went on for about a month, the last time she came she made a comment that i never text her first and this is starting to bother her. I said look, i never text girls unless i want to meet. She said as she was leaving well, so now you will have to text me first otherwise i'm not going to and we will not meet. I took this as 100% dare attempt and was sure she'll be having one of those nights that she will break the silence but to my great surprise it's been over 4 months and no contact from either side. Almost forgot about her until i read this, what a gorgeous little ass she was. oh well...

5 upvotesyoucantdenythat4 months ago

that's dumb.. it's ok to text first occasionally... very occasionally... I look at it as a replacement for "getting her flowers just because". Push/pull you also need to pull a little.

2 upvotesesirnus184 months ago

Gentleman, I know about push/ pull very well it was just sort of weird time for me. I’ve had a lot of work related travel and I went on month long vacation afterwards. That I didn’t think of her was a genuine by product of being busy, besides she was just one out of plenty I’ve had this past summer. It just sort of jumped when I read the OP story because it rang a bell I my head. She was hot and in to me but she never responded or reached out, naturally and likely correct she has found another chad or someone she prefers over me. No spilled milk here folks I was nice couple of fucks that’s all

4 upvotesSelf-honest [OP]4 months ago

This girl said the same thing. I forgot all about it until you posted. I never spend time texting. She was upset that I wasn’t putting in effort outside of our dates and wanted more communication.... nope.

1 upvotesRedpiller774 months ago

Made the right choice. After she asks you to do it you obviously can't because you'd be seen as weak. But in a month of fucking a fine ass you at least should've texted a couple of times. Push/pull it's where is at. Just pushing breaks plates too quickly.

4 upvotesminbooz4 months ago

She was definitely fucking other dudes too. You did the right thing

8 upvotesSelf-honest [OP]4 months ago

For sure. Happy with my current situation.

11 upvotesminbooz4 months ago

Ive been in the same situation many times and I’ve learned to NEVER believe a girl when she says she’s only fucking me. They’re experts at acting innocent. They can have an entire mental breakdown and sob for hours and still be lying. The more they cry and act innocent, the more likely they’re lying. They say that to make you feel guilty for fucking other girls when they’re riding the cock carousel thinking we don’t know.

6 upvotesRedpiller774 months ago

Usually when they cry is because they are actually lying.

3 upvotesSelf-honest [OP]4 months ago

Damn right. Similar experiences over here

3 upvotesflipdoggers4 months ago

Damn man. I've been on this sub like a year and I rarely come across posts this demonstrative of abundance. Reading your story made me sad even though clearly the point is that it shouldn't. Thank you for sharing, I'm glad you saw past other people's comments here who didn't see the benefits of your post. It's people like me who benefit from it.

What allowed you to reach this abundance? Lifting and...? (I'm currently working on lifting and daygame) And out of curiosity how tall are you?

5 upvotesSelf-honest [OP]4 months ago

What allowed you to reach this abundance?

Knowing there are always more women who I can replace the current women with.

And out of curiosity how tall are you?

Short enough to get picked on my entire life

Glad you enjoyed the post.

1 upvotesflipdoggers4 months ago

Knowing there are always more women who I can replace the current women with.

Yea but that requires actually being able to get other girls of equal attractiveness/value/personality/etc. Either through daygame, or tinder, or nightgame, or social circle, or just talking to girls as you go about your day, etc. Which is what I was asking about: what route(s) did you take to reach abundance? Even my high-SMV friend who girls fawn over would get heartbroken in the situation you described in your post, at least short-term, which implies to me that you're even more abundant than him (and not just in mindset).

Short enough to get picked on my entire life

Nice dude, good job getting so far in your journey

3 upvotescyberkrist4 months ago

OP seems like a person who spends more time making sure he ticks the perceived right “TRP Boxes” than living.

I don’t see why her request for exclusivity was out of line, and throwing valuable giving people away to make sure you are in line with perceived dogma seems stupid.

As I write this I wonder if there isn’t a troll behind this post looking for anti TRP ammo. Situation seems a bit over the top to be true.

3 upvotesSelf-honest [OP]4 months ago

It had been like 10 weeks of fucking once a week. I barely even knew her. Anyone who needs commitment that fast isn’t worthy of it.

2 upvotesZech4riah4 months ago

Yes, this is what happens if you don't draw a clear line between a FB and a girl who you are seeing a LTR in mind.

Also if she is somewhat LTR material but you don't wanna commit yet on her (or probably ever), you should have a better answer ready which frames you fucking other girls better.

But sometimes even when you have all this checked down, plates break like it happened to me at august. Altho she actually contacted me recently and we fucked again yesterday so they will come back half of the time if you just hold your frame. Your answer was good in a sense that you held your frame but left the door open for her. Altho I tend to make "the open door" more clear whenever I feel it's needed and only after then withdraw attention.

2 upvotesMicroDepression4 months ago

What was inside the gift god damnit!?

6 upvotesyoucantdenythat4 months ago

he's said it like 4 times, don't you read the comments?

I'm still wondering what was in the bra tho

8 upvotesSelf-honest [OP]4 months ago

Lol. A smooth stone that she was hoping would bring her good luck with her pre-planned assault on my freedom.

2 upvotesKizzou4 months ago

that confused the hell out of me. Ive never heard of women putting stones in their bras wtf

2 upvotesSelf-honest [OP]4 months ago

That’s why I pulled back when I felt it. I know she was into that kind of stuff so something must have been up if she had one in her bra. Honestly I thought she was going to tell me she was pregnant.

1 upvotesKizzou4 months ago

haha so you think she was wearing it for luck or something in relation to you?

Im still confused though, was the stone a part of the bra strap or was it tucked in somewhere?

3 upvotesSelf-honest [OP]4 months ago

It was tucked in. She was clearly planning on trying to secure exclusivity and brought it along for good luck.

2 upvotesArcangeloPT4 months ago

This story is spot on the same as one that happened to me. Literally the same. Were we doing the same chick?

2 upvotes30DaystoSolstice4 months ago

You miss her bro. You were expecting her to circle back to you, but she did what self-respect commands, and you low-key respect that like a soldier respect an enemy who fought honorably which got you to think that maybe, just maybe, you should have kept her around a little bit more so now you here for reassurance that you played it the right way. Rest easy, champ you made the right call. Onto the next one.

2 upvotesSelf-honest [OP]4 months ago

Haha I enjoyed your comment. I’ve found better than her. Not here for reassurance, but to teach less experienced guys that even though it seems tough, this is the right move. It makes you stronger.

2 upvotesPer_Horses64 months ago

Red Pilled as fuck. We are high value males. And you displayed that. Life goes on!

2 upvotesGnosiis_4 months ago

I like the fact that you were willing to let her go. However I think that she wouldn't have broken so easily if you applied just a little more comfort. You could've finessed that a little better. Tell her that you have sex with other girls but still give her the hope that she still can have your commitment, especially if she's trying to be loyal. When she felt deflated and you kissed her that was your opportunity to reel her back in with some sweet talk. Perfect push pull. But like you said life goes on.

7 upvotesSelf-honest [OP]4 months ago

Right. Totally agree with all of that.

The point being that none of that shit matters if you designed your life the way you want it.

2 upvotesXkirbyx4 months ago

I took this read as you being a dick for no good reason maybe a handful of weeks I understand but months of good action from her and still drag her around like that? A definite thot I understand, but don’t make the few good ones jagged my man. I lost a good girl for not being to keep my dick in my pants, and learned a valuable lesson; don’t lose myself to the pleasure of right now and hurt someone you care for and is being faithful and good for my inability to keep myself in check.

4 upvotesSelf-honest [OP]4 months ago

I did what I wanted to. I’m not going to change my actions because someone else would want me to do something that benefits them.

1 upvotesXkirbyx4 months ago

I understand I’m not saying your not entitled to whatever actions you took. What I’m saying is that you seemed to have a sense of accomplishment telling this girl no and being harsh with her. That I don’t find alpha or however you see it. Just my two cents but that’s on you

3 upvotespalindromia4 months ago

A year later: "I-I made the right call... r-right guys?"

Sorry OP but I'm not buying this.


And that's when it dawned on you. You fucked up. You fucked up big time. This is probably gonna stick with you for a long time.

If she's able to walk away so briskly it proves that she never needed you. But her being committed in the first place proves that she wanted you. If she was really some manipulator just trying to "secure commitment" as you say, she wouldn't have walked away so easily. Which means that you know you made the wrong move and your judgement has betrayed you. Maybe you'll learn something from this.

1 upvotesSelf-honest [OP]4 months ago

Nope, I made the right move for me. I did not want what she was selling.

1 upvotesDreamscape824 months ago

This reads like fan fiction from someone that has never actually had sex. Main character not believable

1 upvotesSelf-honest [OP]4 months ago

Nope. Just because I’m half decent at telling stories doesn’t mean I know how to write fiction.

3 upvoteslargepaycheckaddict4 months ago

You should have just entered a more serious relationship with her instead of being some “gotta fuck a ton of chicks and be alpha bro” cum brain idiot. If that truly is the case and you weren’t merely just flexing- why would you ever verbalize that to her in such an insulting way? Especially after she bought you a Christmas present. Test the waters and see where things go. If the relationship goes south you can always go back to the girls you had in your rotation if you fucked them good enough.

You probably ruined and psychologically damaged this poor girl.

5 upvotesSelf-honest [OP]4 months ago

I literally just reacted honestly. It made me laugh. Because it was foolish to assume that I would stop seeing other women after fucking her once a week for like 10 weeks.

0 upvotesPrehistoric_Now4 months ago

Your a fucking idiot dude. If girls knew the kind of person you are, they would not be fucking you.

5 upvotesSelf-honest [OP]4 months ago

Wrong. They actually ask me to fuck them in the ass and tie them up. I do not feel dumb at all.

1 upvotesKratom_Dumper4 months ago

Haha this is the EXACT type of dude girls come back to get fucked.

1 upvotesEliteAlmondMilk4 months ago

Wait wtf was the hard object under her bra?

1 upvotesdarkrouki4 months ago

I feel sad when you said you were waiting and nothing happended.

When you write that line, it means you expect her to comeback.

7 upvotesSelf-honest [OP]4 months ago

I did expect to hear from her again. But it’s perfectly fine that I didn’t.

1 upvoteslee43334 months ago

Soooo what was the hard object under her bra? Trinket? Cancer? What was her gift? Lotta loose ends to tie up still

1 upvotesAndyRobinsonSAAS4 months ago

All girls are all the same

1 upvotesnatedog28284 months ago

When I was reading your post, I was hoping you gave her a gift too...like a pack of skittles.

1 upvotesSelf-honest [OP]4 months ago

Haha I should have just grabbed a beer out of the fridge and wrapped it in a paper towel.

1 upvotesNocryingok4 months ago

If your main goal is reproductive sucess, as mine is, all you gotta think is:

-Is this girl a great option to have children with? If YES, then you can make some concessions

if NO, then you either let her go OR make concessions to have her for longer (faking intent of LTR) and then dump her later. This option is quite selfish, but I've done it in the past

Ex.: you are 25 and pretend to start having kids at 30, she is 27. When you become 30, your SMV will be much higher

1 upvotesGioChan4 months ago

Hur-durr I thought what I did was cool but something deep inside me says it wasn't. Affirm how cool I am. NEXT.

2 upvotesSelf-honest [OP]4 months ago

Nope. Just learn that shit doesn’t matter.

1 upvotesSmilingWatermelon4 months ago

I love how the only power move girls have is to stop sex lol. She shouldve just tried to be the best girl she can be. Let things happen naturally overtime. Instead she gives an ultimatum.

1 upvotesRacistMuffin4 months ago

Though its healthy to have that abundance mindset and to pullback when a girl gives you an ultimatum. I feel as though you could have kept spinning the plate and lead her on a bit more.

Explaining your decisions on why you sleep with other women may have turned her off. You should have subjected to passing that committment test through giving maybe answers. As AMS says, "I'm looking to committ for a women. Just need to weigh out my options."

I wonder how strong your frame was when you were with her. This hard of a shit test only comes if you managed to fail the smaller shittests/dropping a masculine frame.

Edit: a word

1 upvotesSelf-honest [OP]4 months ago

Fair points. No one will ever know.

1 upvotestrplurker4 months ago

Almost, *almost* had me convinced, until you "explained" to her and she "understood". Outed yourself right there.

Women aren't rational creatures when it comes to sexual relationships, they lie, cheat, and use heavy amounts of emotional manipulation to get what they want. In this case she would of continued using emotional manipulation to guilt you into a committed relationship, and if that was failing she would then turn angry to make you into the bad guy.

Next time you tell the story, have her get emotional and cause a fit, would make the story more believable.

2 upvotesSelf-honest [OP]4 months ago

That’s a ridiculous take.

In this case she would of continued using emotional manipulation to guilt you into a committed relationship

What do you think withholding sex was? An attempt to manipulate me into a committed relationship.

Just because she said, “I understand” doesn’t mean she wasn’t just lying or saying some shit she thought I wanted to hear.

2 upvotestrplurker4 months ago

Right and you were totally bro cool, alpha Chad Thundercock.

Fan fiction like that might fool those recently on TRP, but the older folks can spot bullshit like this. We know it's bullshit because we've gone through this dozens of times. Plates try to pull you in, cause that's what they do, you decline and tell them how it is, then they either fold and continue being a plate or some variation of drama unfolds. Out of the, again, dozens of times I've been through this never has a girl ever just walked away and cut contact, that's 100% a dude's way of operating. Now I've seen pretty much every reaction possible, from complete submission (a story I shared here back when we were 5K subs), to slash and burn, to showing up almost naked outside my high-rise downtown apartment ringing the bell.

1 upvotesSelf-honest [OP]4 months ago

Think whatever you want. We are here to share experiences and trade notes. And on top of that, this focus isn’t even the point of my post, but let’s dig in.

Out of the, again, dozens of times I've been through this never has a girl ever just walked away and cut contact

Not a large enough sample size to declare certainty.

I could name many different things that could cause this to be the case. I’m sure I wasn’t the first and I won’t be the last.

I assume that she expected that if I gave a shit at all I would have reached out to thank her for her thoughtful gift. And when I didn’t (while she was spending time with her family over Christmas) she was visibly upset and they convinced her to go no-contact.

I’m sure she had other options lined up (as she is a woman) so she moved on to Mr. Comfort or found a guy with comparable SMV.

Either way, the whole point was that I expected any of those scenarios that you listed or any other drama filled display or plea to play out (because that IS what usually happens) but eerily it didn’t, and it never fucking mattered because I did what I needed to, to keep my life exactly how I want it.

1 upvotesthethundercockroad4 months ago

I have read the sidebar and been working on being a better Man. Other than lifting and becoming more social what would you say has been the biggest contributor to your success

1 upvotesdr_warlock4 months ago

The concept of the post is spot on, but the execution was lacking. I see this as a mindset issue. You were being too 'in your face' and using direct speech to prove you're not a 'beta'. You knew what she was after and she wasn't being a nutcase about it, just doing what women do. You could have just skirted around the issue nicely.

1 upvotesSelf-honest [OP]4 months ago

Absolutely agree. I realized my error almost as I was making it.

It has been an interesting journey full of uncomfortable mistakes and freeing realizations so far.

I stumbled upon this community 2.5 years ago and I don’t want to imagine what my life would be like right now if I hadn’t.

I greatly appreciate the work you have invested in this place, man. Thanks.

1 upvotes8380atgmaildotcom4 months ago

Next level stuff man. Living in the moment.

1 upvotesFightGuard4 months ago

Doesn't all this depend on the cost of replacing her being very low?

2 upvotesSelf-honest [OP]4 months ago

In theory, yes. In reality, no.

I would rather be completely alone with no plates than to be in an exclusive relationship with someone I didn’t want to enter into one with.

True abundance mentality is knowing you can get another female to have sex with anytime. It’s really just a belief in yourself and your abilities.

1 upvotesMeansToABenz4 months ago

What did she get you as the present??

1 upvotesPrehistoric_Now4 months ago

That is fucking bullshit, this is fucking bullshit, the fact that so many people are upvoting this is a really big eye opener.

This douche obviously shattered her heart, you led her on, used her for sex, she fell for you, got you a gift, and treated you right, and then you go ahead and treat her like that. No wonder there is a rise in feminism, its because of guys like this, and now she wont see guys in the same light she had.

This is not redpill, this is called being a douche

5 upvotesSelf-honest [OP]4 months ago

Oh man. Sit down, we need to have a serious talk.

3 upvotesruffyamaharyder4 months ago

He did the exact opposite, told her the truth about not wanting to be exclusive and allowed her to make her own decision (which she did). Furthermore, part of her decision making process prior to that was bribery and fucking magic! C'mon now....

1 upvotesKratom_Dumper4 months ago

If the roles were reversed, I doubt you would say that the girl was an asshole and that she just used him for sex.

1 upvotesAfricanMonkeyGod4 months ago

You're so cool brah


Someone jerks off infront of the mirror

2 upvotesSelf-honest [OP]4 months ago

Damn right I do 💪🏼

1 upvotesOpenIndy4 months ago

One of the best posts I’ve seen here in a while and one I needed to read. Thank you.

1 upvotesDifficultContext4 months ago

Did you open up the present?

1 upvotesRakosnik4 months ago

I read your whole post just to find out about the present and you didnt even disclose what was inside. I guess it was a broken plate.

1 upvotespickles-n-noodles4 months ago

Idk I feel like there’s something unsaid in this post.

1 upvoteslisteriosis694 months ago

I'm just curious to see what she got you

1 upvoteswalkingthelinux4 months ago

I mean, you left us hanging . . . What was the present?!?

2 upvotesyoucantdenythat4 months ago

about 50 ppl asked this and he answer this like 5 times, read the comments, sheesh people

-2 upvotesAnnaLuvsMisogyny4 months ago

Sounds like a good girl mostly but too demanding from you I think. Not really her place to end the relationship like that imo

13 upvotesSelf-honest [OP]4 months ago

She definitely was a good girl for the most part.

It was however way too early to be expecting exclusivity from ANYBODY. Kind of a red flag in and of itself.

I mean what guy just decides to be exclusive without even being asked? A chump.

1 upvotesAnnaLuvsMisogyny4 months ago

Exactly. If a guy chooses to be exclusive thats fine, but demanding he stop fucking others or you won't serve anymore is so fucking entitled imo

5 upvotesSelf-honest [OP]4 months ago

A classic case of holding the pussy hostage. Only works if there is no other pussy around.

3 upvotesAnnaLuvsMisogyny4 months ago

It's also super... unethical? almost. Rude, whatever. I sound sexist against myself with all this stuff lol but in my opinion men are better providers, leaders, decisionmakers, etc. The main things a girl provides her man are going to be sex and chores. If you're not providing, you're not a proper woman.

1 upvotesSelf-honest [OP]4 months ago


Watch the rules: No moralizing (Sexual strategy is immoral) No declaring yourself a woman

2 upvotesAnnaLuvsMisogyny4 months ago

Sorry. I'm kinda dumb lol so why is that not allowed?

0 upvotesGucci--Mayne4 months ago

Why does this have so many upvotes? Dude's obviously a dumbass, even read the first couple paragraphs.

Coping with parents being divorced by skipping all commitment.

2 upvotesSelf-honest [OP]4 months ago

Nope. Just living the good life.

1 upvotesshuritsen4 months ago

Lowkey you kind of sound like a sociopath.

6 upvotesSelf-honest [OP]4 months ago

This is normal. When people think a normal guy who looks out for his best interests is a sociopath, the feminizing of society must almost be complete.

If I told her I wanted to be in a relationship when I didn’t, just to fuck her again, THAT would be sociopathic.

1 upvotesshuritsen4 months ago

While I disagree with your feminization of society comment (little cringy btw), It's not wrong to keep your own best interests at heart. However, there's a spectrum, and that spectrum has two sides; Treating people as disposable, and treating people with respect. Your approach was heavy handed, but it got the point across. However, a pattern like that may not bode well when it comes to forming long-term empathy. I should know. I'm pretty sociopathic myself, but I go out of my way to try and at least let people know how I feel, since it's not a default state for me.

3 upvotesSelf-honest [OP]4 months ago

Ok, fair. Point taken. I did just chuckle at this little girl fumbling through her attempt to put her foot down. But I have made a point of accepting my feelings and embracing them more recently.

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