A FR inspired by u/HornsOfApathy's Depressed and Anxious Wives series:
For my whole life, I've given up my power in sex. The women I have been with were always giving me an orgasm, every time, every encounter. That was my sole focus and mentality during those times: taking from the woman. I might give them orgasms too, but it was only validation-seeking and covert contracts for reciprocation. Society supports this supplicating, powerless view for men and, even if a man has high SMV and may have practiced RP for years, it's easy to see how he can remain stuck in this mentality in regards to his sexuality.
Recently, I've been rethinking my default mentality. After a lot of reflection, I decided to change my mindset on this and instead view every interaction with women (and really people in general) as a gift. That's the true meaning behind "be the prize." My sexuality is a gift, my time is a gift, my presence, knowledge, wit, even my gaze and words are gifts.
I'm training myself to embody this mindset, and by proxy those around me are being trained on how they fit into it, Surely such a seismic shift in mentality will require retraining of my wife to receive my gifts instead of me taking from her. After 16 years of shitty, selfish sex with me, this is going to be a really difficult transition for her to accept and understand for sure.
Allow me to take you back to a recent night...
After the kids go to bed, the wife and I usually spend 30-60 minutes talking about the day, etc. It's usually time I'd rather give to more sexual activities, so this time I mixed it up. While we were talking, I put her hand on my dick. I had her play with it while the conversation continued normally. There was no resistance and it didn't even seem strange to either of us - I just led her to it and she complied.
It created this duality that was new and interesting to our normal routine which started to turn us both on. As she decompressed her stress from the day and I remained the oak, I escalated with her and brought her to orgasm. I wanted to do it and I did it from a place of strength, from a place of giving myself to her. There were no contracts and there was no validation to be gained. I felt in total control and could sense the absence of the normal resistance she usually has to most sexual acts (with me).
When it came time for reciprocation, I told her I'm letting it build up until tomorrow. I told her this firmly and with confidence. "Sounds like a challenge," is what I get back. I love when she's feisty. We proceed to play together for an hour and had lots of fun. I never came because I decided I wasn't going to. You know what? Ejaculating is not required for a satisfying sexual experience, IF you are in control and you are the one giving your sexual energy instead of trying to syphon off your partner's like a faggot.
My wife remained sweet and submissive as she had been all day, happy in her feminine role. It's a natural state for women around a man who leads them. It's the way things were meant to be. The session ended the same way it started, with a normal conversation as if nothing abnormal happened. That's because, from an evolutionary perspective, there was nothing abnormal about it. What's abnormal, and fatal in an evolutionary sense, is a man bringing needy, validation-seeking energy to sex or any other experience he has.
The real training was tolerating my shit mentality for 16 years; transitioning to the way it should have always been required no training at all.
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